Several comments have been made appealing to tradition and custom to support the notion that a woman should take her husband’s name in marriage. This was the only post I saw that touched upon the reasons this custom was instituted in the first place, and after making a quick comparison between the rights afforded to women in the 1800’s and the rights they have now, I would think it would be obvious as to *why *this tradition is no longer relevant or necessary.
Prior to women having a legal claim on property, finances, inheritance, and even their own children, it was understood (if not claimed outright with words), that a woman became in essence a possession of her husband, and her assumption of his name was a verbal “mark” of ownership as an engagement ring might have been a physical one. She went from her father’s charge to her husband’s, and her change of name was a natural reflection of this mentality. As women were eventually granted the maternity, educational, and financial rights to determine and secure their own survival, their dependency upon men naturally diminished and therefore it no longer became necessary to reinvent their identities to reflect those of their husbands.
Obviously, things have changed. Some people think a woman’s proclamation of independence was a wonderful phenomenon that was long overdue in coming, some don’t really think of it at all (as it is the only thing they have ever known), and some think it has been the most horribly catastrophic event that causes every conceivable ill the world at this present time. Regardless of the opinions on whether or not a woman’s desire to outwardly express an identity separate from that of her husband’s is a good thing, the fact remains that she no longer *has *to mold herself to him in such a way because she is legally viewed as a citizen in her own right. Therefore, the appeal made by men who would push this matter is an emotional one, and has no logical basis.
As it stands, I think most women choose to change their names anyway, because they are simply accustomed to this practice and don’t really analyze the reasons behind it. Or maybe because they like the feeling of “belonging” to him, even if they would never admit it. And that’s fine – I wouldn’t presume to make the generalization that these women have no pride in their family name or that they have lost their individual identities. On the other hand, I think the men who have a problem with women choosing to retain their names are expressing a knee-jerk reaction to this change of custom and all too quickly throw out the charge of “Feminist!” without really considering it from a woman’s perspective. ** Not all women who choose to keep their names are doing it as a slap in the face to men – as stated in other posts, they do it for personal reasons of their own, none of them which are in any way malicious**.