Leaving the church and maybe God

[scared]

Hello LittleRose:

Yes I am aware that confession is there for me. I just have a real problem with going. Yes I a scared, no terrified about it.

I have considered going to the Bishop or writing him a letter. After consultation with someone with much more knowledge, it maybe more detrimental in the long run. The other person knows what would happen. Ideally the priest would be removed to another parish or receive some type of correction or be placed under the guidance of another priest. Here is where the problem lay. There simply is no other priest to take his place, we are far enough away from the city that to be under the guidance of another priest would be difficult. Yes, he would receive correction from the bishop. The problem is that there is no way he wouldn’t know it was me that reported him. Since we already have a host of problems they will probably increase ten fold with his problems with the bishop and make my life more miserable. So we have decided that for now that course of action is not open to me.

I did speak with the counsellor about things, specifically removing the crosses from my house, thus removing God from my life. He was less than happy with that. He is also sure that reconcilliation and communion is something I very much need. The problem is getting them. While in town I can. The problem arises on Sunday obligation. So I was strongly recommended to attend a service at noon hour. I did go, and after putting off reconcilliation, entered the box. I did find the animaty a good thing. I have received a fitting penance. The problem with animaty you don’t know what priest you are seeing. Also I am seldom in the city so going to this church would be sporatic at best. I was however, given direction, and as such I will follow that as I have yet to defy an order by a priest.

For now I will attend Christmas eve mass with my family at my parish. That fufills this weeks obligation, what I do next week, well I guess I will wait and see.

Oh and for now the crusifixes are still up in the house.

scare

 

[buffalo]

Bottom line - when you turn your back to God He still remains facing you waiting for you to turn back to Him.

During the time you turn your back to Him your relationship with Him is lacking, much like any human relationship. You end up depriving yourself of so much.

Do you want this kind of relationship?

 

[scared]

Hello Buffalo:

You have put it in pretty blunt terms, but very true.

I know that I hurt God formost by turning away from him. I hurt myself as well. I am trying very hard not to equate what priests have done with God. Yet, I struggle with it. It was so engrained in me that a Priest can do no wrong and that he is the link to God that I have to rewire my thinking first.

I want the face to face relationship with God. The baggage is so heavy that turning is taking awhile. The relationship I have with God right now is not good. I am much closer to Hell than Heaven. Sometimes alright most times it is easier to slide down the hill toward hell, than to climb toward heaven.

I need to learn to turn toward God something I am not very good at and has been very damaged by humans.

scared

 

[AquinasXVI]

Scared:

Be still and know that he is God your Father.

You’re right, the slippery slope is easier, it takes no effort at all. The climb is harder for you have to carry a cross going up.

Regarding priests disappointing you, well, because we are one body, we suffer. I personally feel the travesty…for this is hurting Christ himself. On the other hand, recall that Judas was handpicked by Christ. When a Catholic does the worst, it doesn’t disqualify the Church or God being good, the person abused his/her free will and chose evil.

Keep your head up buddy. Sadness is an ally of the enemy. Joy is the mark of a Christian.

in XT.