Leaving the church

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malik1982

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How does one formally leave the church? The easiest way is to stop going for mass, but it needs to be documented with the church. Please help.
Thanks.
 
There is no “formal” way to leave the Church.
One baptised, always Catholic.
I strongly suggest you talk to a trusted priest/deacon/religious before you make such a decision.

You will be in my prayers!
 
There had been the possibility under the Code of Canon Law promulgated in 1983 to commit a formal act of defection from the Church. But that turned out to cause lots of problems – not only for the Church, but also for the defecting people themselves. So the Church has revoked those provisions in canon law, and there really isn’t any such thing any more.

But not to worry: when the end comes, if the atheists are right it won’t matter because there won’t be anything after death; if the non-Catholics are right it won’t matter because they don’t care where you were so long as you’re where they want you to be; and if the Catholics are right it won’t matter because it isn’t “formal membership” that affects salvation.

I pray for you, that your journey in this world will be easy and result in ultimate salvation.
 
ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I’ve left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.
 
malik1982 said:
ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I’ve left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.
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I am very sorry to hear this, and I’m sorry for all that has happened to you. You will be in my prayers.

If you can’t bring yourself to come to Mass, I am very sad for you; but I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t recommend trying to go the excommunication route, because that involves deliberate wrongful actions.

May I ask what you did to join the Church? Baptism, confirmation, etc.? Or did you simply register and start attending?
 
malik1982 said:
ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I’ve left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.
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If you joined under duress, you may not be Catholic. Speak with a Priest, or your diocese’s tribunal office.

Yet, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Sounds like you would quit whatever faith community he belongs to. The only reason to either become or remain Catholic is because of one’s love of Jesus Christ and their conviction that He is truly present in the Holy Eucharist.
 
malik1982 said:
ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I’ve left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.
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You were going to Mass for the wrong reason miss. You go to Mass for Christ, not for anyone else. I am truly sorry to hear about your relationship. In this time when you need Christ close at hand, you can not possibly get closer to Him than in the Catholic Church. Please talk to a Priest about this before leaving. Christ made this Church for you (for all of us). He calls us to “this” Church to receive Him in communion. You will never be able to have as close a relationship with Christ in any of the man made denominations out there. Please miss, learn about the True faith before you cast it off. You will find great peace here if you look at the Mass for what it “is” and not for what you thought it “was”.
 
malik1982 said:
ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I’ve left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.
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Probably just talk to a priest. There is no need to try to get yourself excommunicated or whatever - even then if you validly joined up (which may not have actually happened if you were forced into it, which is why I recommend talking to a priest), we’d still consider you Catholic if you were excommunicated.

If you really and truly don’t believe Catholicism, then just stop coming. If you’re right, then the fact that we (might) still think of you as Catholic is meaningless because Catholicism is meaningless. However, I urge you not to let bad experiences keep you away from the Church - make sure that in the end your decision rests upon and only upon whether or not you think the Catholic Church was founded by Christ.
 
malik1982 said:
ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I’ve left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.
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If you are Baptised, there is a permenant, indelible mark on your soul. There isn’t really anything you can do to remove it. If you have absolutely decided to join another church, than that is all you can do. Just start attending the other church. If at a later time, you decide that the other denomination isn’t what you need, then you always have a spiritual home in the Catholic Church. I’m sorry to hear about your troubles with your former fiance. I hope you find a good man who will treat you properly and you are able to move on with your life.
 
malik1982 said:
ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated.
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It’s my understanding that excommunication is a censure and not a banishment, so even this would not relieve you of your obligations as a Catholic, such as Sunday Mass attendance. It would, however, deprive you of the sacraments.

Catholic Encyclopedia: Excommunication

I, too, am sorry for what you have been through, and I will remember you in my daily prayers. I agree with the suggestion that you should speak to a priest, deacon or religious (I would favor the priest, but that’s just who I am) before making a definite decision on this. I mean, what do you have to lose? If, after such a conversation, you still want to leave, you may still exercise your free will and do so. The priest/deacon/religious cannot stop you.
Iron_Donkey said:
I urge you not to let bad experiences keep you away from the Church - make sure that in the end your decision rests upon and only upon whether or not you think the Catholic Church was founded by Christ.
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This.
 
I am saddened to hear how you got introduced to the Catholic Faith…But i understand what you are saying and will keep you in my prayers :grouphug::imsorry::blessyou:
 
I get where you are coming from and my prayers are for you.

I appreciate that you love God and love Christ and thus my reccomendation for you is to go to mass and give the church a chance before you decide to leave. I don’t know if you ever went to Mass often, or if you got to learn about the faith.

If you didn’t learn or know a lot of the faith then I reccomend you to learn the faith before deciding to leave.

If you did learn about the faith and have tried going to mass, then if you really feel like you can’t be part of the church then this is a personal decision and I get it.

I hope that if you do leave the church then please try to learn a bit more about the church and try to understand it.

Hope you find your way

God Bless
 
malik1982 said:
ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I’ve left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.
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If it isn’t for you…or you think it isn’t…just start going to another church…it isn’t like anyone is going to hunt you down…I was a cradle Catholic and walked away…and came back 20 some years later.

But I think you may have other issues…I worry for you that you will have bad memories anyway…especially with an abusive relationship…I advise you to seek counseling for that…no matter what you do with the Church.
 
po18guy said:
A coerced conversion in the course of a bad relationship is no reason to walk away from Christ, is it? Rather, I think it is more reason to seek Christ in His fulness.
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People have to find their own way and seek God on their own path. We can’t force them into something that in their frame of mind they will not accept. I can’t see how one will find Christ if being in the Church is such a negative experience for him/her. One should pray for conversion (not specifically to the Catholic Church, but ask God to open your heart to His will) and God will make His call in His time.

God’s ways are not our ways.
 
Possibly you are registered by your parish as a member? If you no longer wish to be recorded as such, speak to the secretary or priest. Also speak to your priest if you feel you were forced to become baptized.

However, I encourage you to make your decision to leave or remain on the basis of your beliefs, not the cruelty or unfairness you may have experienced at the hands of your spouse. I hope you remain Christian regardless.

God bless.
 
Christ can bring light from darkness. You were brought into the Church through darkness. Let Christ bring you to Him through the light of our faith and His beautiful Church He has created for you.
 
malik1982 said:
ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I’ve left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.
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First of all, excommunication does not “expel” you from the Church. Excommunication is only applied to people who commit one of specific grave sins. It is applied, really, to help the person excommunicated to realize the grave danger their soul is in, to help them to repent and return to a state of grace. Someone who is excommunicated is still a member of the Church, but not permitted to receive any Sacrament until after they have repented, confessed their sins, had the excommunication lifted, and received absolution. Excommunicated people are still Catholics. In fact, once Catholic, there is no way to not be Catholic again. You may be a non-practicing Catholic, a lapsed Catholic, an apostate Catholic, but you are still Catholic.

You need to determine what you really believe. You joined the Church for the wrong reason, but that can be changed, even now. The reason you have not grown spiritually is that wrong reason. Really look into the Catholic Church - you will find that it is the Church that Jesus instituted. Spend time in Adoration, sitting with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, asking Him to heal your hurts. Why you joined does not have to matter any more. This Church, most certainly, is for you. It is for all of us sinners. Do not give up.
 
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