Lesbian "marriage"

[sseason]

Hello,
My husband was invited to a reception in celebration of a lesbian “marriage”. I will not be going of coarse. But I’m not sure how to phrase my reason in a Christian manner. I will not be dishonest of my reason. I believe I need to stand up for the Truth and say why I can’t attend but I’m not sure how to phrase it. Any suggestions??

 

[kage_ar]

You send back the card marked “will not attend”. If there is no RSVP card, you mail a note that says “Mr and Mrs John Smith will not attend the reception. Sincerely, Mrs. Smith”

 

[bookgirl32]

Do you usually give a reason why you do not attend other weddings? I’m not defending this “wedding” or anything like that. But is it possible that your absence would be statement enough at this point? It’s not like by not putting a reason you are permanently giving up the right to defend your beliefs to this person. You’re just not doing it on the RSVP.

 

[aicirt]

You send back the card marked “will not attend”. If there is no RSVP card, you mail a note that says “Mr and Mrs John Smith will not attend the reception. Sincerely, Mrs. Smith”

Agree. Keep it simple.

 

[sseason]

You send back the card marked “will not attend”. If there is no RSVP card, you mail a note that says “Mr and Mrs John Smith will not attend the reception. Sincerely, Mrs. Smith”

There is no RSVP card. This is a circle of friends of my husbands. Maybe I should make this more general… How would a good Catholic respond to a friend if that friend asked why you couldn’t attend a gay marriage?

 

[kage_ar]

There is no RSVP card. This is a circle of friends of my husbands. Maybe I should make this more general… How would a good Catholic respond to a friend if that friend asked why you couldn’t attend a gay marriage?

My friends know I am Catholic, so, the answer “I’m Catholic” would very much suffice…

 

[Holly3278]

I would just simply state the truth. I’d say “I am a Catholic and I disagree with gay marriage. Therefore, I will not be attending this reception.” I don’t see how saying the above would be offensive or anything.

 

[IHeartAquinas]

I don’t see why it is so objectionable to attend, period. Do you shun lesbians because they are lesbians? Do you shun Muslims because they are Muslim? Do you shun adulterers, fornicators, and all other manner of sinner because they are a sinner?

You can attend the wedding without supporting the lifestyle the wedding is celebrating. It is the same as embracing the sinner without embracing the sin.

I don’t understand why a self-proclaimed Catholic would need to boycott such an event. Two people are celebrating their bond in the way they know how. Your husband wants to attend, and you are not willing to celebrate your own bond by being supportive of him and his friends by attending with him.

It sounds hypocritical.

 

[VivienneJ]

I don’t see why it is so objectionable to attend, period. Do you shun lesbians because they are lesbians?

The OP in no way indicated she was shunning any lesbians because they were lesbians, she has no desire to support their so-called-“marriage” - totally different.

You can attend the wedding without supporting the lifestyle the wedding is celebrating. It is the same as embracing the sinner without embracing the sin.

Attending any wedding implies and shows support of that wedding and the lifestyle chosen by that couple.

I don’t understand why a self-proclaimed Catholic would need to boycott such an event.

Because Catholics cannot support a “wedding” between two people suffering from same sex attraction. Like many others, those sufferers are called to a life of chastity, which would be supported by their Catholic friends. This is not the case in this scenario.

Two people are celebrating their bond in the way they know how.

And a self-proclaimed Catholic knows that the only kind of marriage bond is one contracted between a man and a woman, with God; NOT between two women; NOR between two men; NO self-proclaimed Catholic should have anything to do with such a celebration.

Your husband wants to attend, and you are not willing to celebrate your own bond by being supportive of him and his friends by attending with him.

I fail to undestand how attending a lesbian “wedding ceremony” is celebrating the bond between husband and wife. And this is one time when a wife should not blindly “support” her husband.

IHeartAquinas, are you aware of Catholic teaching on the subject of same sex attraction?

 

[estesbob]

I don’t see why it is so objectionable to attend, period. Do you shun lesbians because they are lesbians? Do you shun Muslims because they are Muslim? Do you shun adulterers, fornicators, and all other manner of sinner because they are a sinner?

You can attend the wedding without supporting the lifestyle the wedding is celebrating. It is the same as embracing the sinner without embracing the sin.

I don’t understand why a self-proclaimed Catholic would need to boycott such an event. Two people are celebrating their bond in the way they know how. Your husband wants to attend, and you are not willing to celebrate your own bond by being supportive of him and his friends by attending with him.

It sounds hypocritical.

I am sure the Muslims in CAF will be rolling their eyes at your comapring them to lesbians.

If adulterers or fornicators invite me to a ceremony celebrating their adultery/fornication i would decline to attend,. How about you?

 

[camerong]

Indeed, there are lots of situations where we should not attend something we find immoral. What about the remarriage of someone whose divorce was never/could never be annulled? What about a party someone is having over becoming divorced (as they sometimes do)? What about a Wiccan ceremony worshiping the Earth? What about a pro-choice rally? They’re really all the same. By being there–and not holding a protest sign or something akin to that–you are seen as supporting it, both by outsiders and the offenders themselves.

She can still love the sinner, so to speak, and still abstain from attending the ceremony. Call her afterwards and wish her well, or tell her you will pray for her, or do whatever else you do to someone to show you love them.

 

[IHeartAquinas]

I am very well aware of the Catholic Church’s teachings on same-sex attraction. However, I fail to see how attendance at an event automatically garners one’s tacit approval. A married couple not attending an event of one of the spouse’s friends together, I feel, could be a greater cause for scandal than a spouse that does not tacitly approve attending anyway.

I would go further in this grain, but the OP has been answered. Let us not derail this thread any further. If I cannot raise an objection to the majority bias without being accused of being ignorant of my faith on an apologetics forum, then it is clear that, in this thread at least, I am not raising my objections amongst reasoned, intelligent people and I will move on.

 

[bookgirl32]

I am very well aware of the Catholic Church’s teachings on same-sex attraction. However, I fail to see how attendance at an event automatically garners one’s tacit approval. A married couple not attending an event of one of the spouse’s friends together, I feel, could be a greater cause for scandal than a spouse that does not tacitly approve attending anyway.

What kind of scandal would that be?

I would go further in this grain, but the OP has been answered. Let us not derail this thread any further. If I cannot raise an objection to the majority bias without being accused of being ignorant of my faith on an apologetics forum, then it is clear that, in this thread at least, I am not raising my objections amongst reasoned, intelligent people and I will move on.

At least answer my question:

How would attending the wedding celebrating the union of a same-sex couple not be a public condoning of the same sex couple’s relationship by anyone who attended?

 

[Dale_M]

I am sure the Muslims in CAF will be rolling their eyes at your comapring them to lesbians.

I’m not sure if it is necessary to single out any religion, but wouldn’t attending this wedding be akin to attending a non-Christian religious service? Would someone be comfortable doing that?

I think the basic issue is whether to attend a religious ceremony when one’s religious beliefs differ.

 

[Seatuck]

I don’t see why it is so objectionable to attend, period. Do you shun lesbians because they are lesbians? Do you shun Muslims because they are Muslim? Do you shun adulterers, fornicators, and all other manner of sinner because they are a sinner?

**You can attend the wedding without supporting the lifestyle the wedding is celebrating. It is the same as embracing the sinner without embracing the sin. **

I don’t understand why a self-proclaimed Catholic would need to boycott such an event. Two people are celebrating their bond in the way they know how. Your husband wants to attend, and you are not willing to celebrate your own bond by being supportive of him and his friends by attending with him.

It sounds hypocritical.

Of course you can’t. The reason for the reading is exactly that to celebrate that sin. We cannot support it. Even if we have friends or family that we love very much who choose that lifestyle.They are rejecting God’s plan for marriage and we cannot support it.

 

[chrysostim83]

The OP talks about “a reception in celebration of a lesbian ‘marriage.’”

I’m wondering if it would be all right to attend the reception but not the actual ceremony. (You could always say you were just there for the drinks!)

 

[camerong]

The OP talks about “a reception in celebration of a lesbian ‘marriage.’”

I’m wondering if it would be all right to attend the reception but not the actual ceremony. (You could always say you were just there for the drinks!)

Would you attend a reception after a pro-choice rally, or after an award for a pro-choice activist, or the like? Even for the drinks?

 

[chrysostim83]

Well, why not? It’s not as if attendance at coffee hour after Mass is the same thing as attending the Mass itself. Would attendance at coffee hour even so much as suggest approval of Catholic doctrine and practice? That doesn’t sound very plausible. The most it suggests is willingness to tolerate Catholics, and surely a message of mere tolerance is acceptable in nearly every case.

 

[estesbob]

Well, why not? It’s not as if attendance at coffee hour after Mass is the same thing as attending the Mass itself. Would attendance at coffee hour even so much as suggest approval of Catholic doctrine and practice? That doesn’t sound very plausible. The most it suggests is willingness to tolerate Catholics, and surely a message of mere tolerance is acceptable in nearly every case.

When Western Culture finally completely collosapes the epitah on the tombstone will read “They were Tolerant”

 

[DOShea]

These questions sound very teenage to me. “Why can’t I hang out with _____ ? Just because he does heroin doesn’t mean I agree with it or would do it myself.”

Why play this “how close can I get to sin without it spilling all over me” game? You either reject the sin and stay away from it or you don’t. We are not called to be civil to sin, we are called to turn away from it. Attending ceremonies or the celebrations after them is sending a signal that you object, but not THAT much.

What is the positive for you attending even the reception? What is it you think you are “showing” someone other than you’re willing to show up for free food but not for the “thing” that was most meaningful to them. It’s a lose-lose.