Let's Laugh: Post Funny Stuff! (Within Reason)

  • Thread starter Thread starter Limoncello4021
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

Limoncello4021

Guest
Let’s not be long-faced saints, even in Lent. I don’t see a thread for jokes or funny clips.
I’ll start. I still just love this Simpsons’ episode comparing the Catholic heaven to the Protestant heaven.

 
Last edited:
I’m sure you’ve heard this, but it’s a joke for Lent.
An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers.

The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.

An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more.

This happens yet again.

The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. “I don’t mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?”

'Tis odd, isn’t it?" the man replies, “You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond.”

The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening - he orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

The next day, the bartender says to the man, “Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know-the two beers and all…”

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, “You’ll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well… It’s just that I, myself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent.”
 
Have you tried google searching the phrase “Florida man” followed by your birthday? I got, “Florida man slapped with Big Mouth Billy Bass after argument, police say.”
 

From a comedy called “Derry Girls”. A parody on Protestant-Catholic relations.

I just want to say something important. No body should post any videos from the television programme ‘Father Ted’. It is, to an extent, rather satanic. It is not funny at all, as it makes fun of Holy Mother Church. For those who do not know, Father Ted is a programme that insults the faith. Stay well clear.

Just wanted to mention that. Every time a Catholic mentions Father Ted, I feel a shiver go down my spine.
 
After my Uncle Ole had immigrated from Norway, and had been farming in Minnesota for a few years, he sold the farm, moved to town, and decided to take a trip to Disney World with the proceeds of the sale. As he was driving down I-75 in Florida, he saw a sign that said “DISNEY WORLD LEFT”. So he turned around and went home.

D
 
Things went wrong because he probably forgot to take Lena with him 🙂
MInnesota humor.
 
The funniest story I heard regarding a church organist (I heard this a long time ago, so I don’t remember if it was an actual incident or an urban legend):

A priest was giving a long, boring homily - so boring that he was putting people to sleep. One of those people was the church organist. The organist fell asleep and he fell on the keys, resulting in an organ blast that reverberated through the church.
 
One Good Friday, one of the few protestants in the neighborhood - let’s call him “Mike” - barbecued a steak on the grill, and the aroma filled the neighborhood. The Catholic wives were concerned about the temptation it posed, so they got their husbands to try to convince Mike to become Catholic. So, the husbands went over, had a talk with him, and convinced him, so they took him to the parish priest, who poured water over his head and pronounced, “You were born a protestant, you were raised a protestant, you are now a Catholic”.

Fast forward to the next Ash Wednesday. Again, they smelled the aroma of steak coming from Mike’s yard. So, in alarm the husbands ran over to his yard, where they saw Mike pouring a bottle of ketchup on the steak as he was pronouncing, “You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, you are now a fish”.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top