Life without alcohol

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mkipp

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I have struggled on and off with alcohol issues. I am a husband and a father of a toddler, and I wanted to see how others have lived without alcohol. I can quit for a few weeks, but always think about a drink to relax and fall back to drinking too much.
 
I don’t have this problem but i lived with sibling having this issue. I recall reading a book that also approached it in a physical matter. Meaning, stay away from food that will trigger this impulse (coffee, white sugar and white flour). You should look into incorporating green smoothy in your diet (help with addiction). Be careful with any preservative or food flavoring, they can also trigger this problem. Look into eating a clean diet.

Most of all pray. Jesus cans set you free from this problem for good.

I pray for you and
 
Addictions have reasons behind them and they need help to overcome. God will support you through this but you need to be ready for great effort. Please seek professional help as this is the way to recovery. God bless your journey through this time in your life.
 
The reason you can quit for a short time, but eventually slip, is because you have not dealt with your addiction properly. You’re what they call “white knuckling it” - basically avoiding alcohol out of sheer will. This always fails, especially during trigger times (stress, hanging out with the “old gang,” etc.)

You may not need in patient rehab, but you do need help. Start attending AA. Go every day for a month and see the difference. You can’t do this all alone by just trying to force it. It will not work, and your alcoholism will escalate. You do not need to be a falling-down sloppy, drunk at 9 AM fool to be an alcoholic. Many good, successful people suffer with the problem.

Maybe you are thinking that going to AA would be embarrassing. Maybe you are afraid you will see someone you know there (who, by the way, would be there for the same reason.) Maybe you think your problem isn’t bad enough to warrant something like AA. Maybe you are afraid you will be the lone person of class amongst a bunch of felonious drunks who are unlike you. These are things everyone worries about before they go. But, just do it. You will be in good company - little old ladies, doctors, lawyers, fathers, church pastors, at home moms, teenagers, business owners, and yes the bikers and repeat DUI offenders you imagine!

You’ve already taken the first step in admitting you have a problem with alcohol and are using it inappropriately. Good for you! Now, go handle this so that it doesn’t hold power over you anymore. You CAN do it. My dad has been sober 37 years and still goes to AA three days a week : )
 
One of the things that helps is to allow yourself to indulge in anything, literally anything, except alcohol. A plate of 64 chicken wings is fine; one beer, not fine. Three triple scoop hot fudge ice cream sundaes? OK. Beer? Not OK. You get the picture.

One of the benefits of AA is practical suggestions like this to help respond to urges.
 
I haven’t had a drink in over two months now. AA has helped a lot. Prayer is absolutely necessary

There is a group in CAF: Christians living a life of sobriety. Join us.

I will pray for you. God bless.
 
I was watching Dr Drew. Alcoholics need mentor, 12 step program, and therapy. That costs money, although 12 steps are free.
 
mkipp,

Both of my grandfathers were like how you describe yourself. Both of my parents would react negatively when the other would occasionally use alcohol (even responsibly).

One grandfather has decided in his sunset years to become a teetotaler. I suppose he finally wizened up. Some men of my acquaintance even find it necessary to receive Communion under the specie of bread only.

Have some chamomile tea to help you relax.
 
Hey man!

I’ve been wondering how you have been doing.
I never could quit on my own. Not even for a week. I quit once for a week after I got in a bad car accident (drunk).

Anyway, when I was new in sobriety I felt the same way about the ‘relaxing’ part and letting my mind think that way. There is a principal in AA that says something like “Live your way into right thinking”. Basically, that means that you will have to FORCE yourself to DO the right thing until your brain catches up. It works!

Do ANYTHING else to keep yourself busy! Sometimes I had to go a minute at a time it was so difficult, but it worked.

I threw myself into housework.

Keep trying dude…God wants you sober. You want you sober.
 
CallMeDad said:
One of the things that helps is to allow yourself to indulge in anything, literally anything, except alcohol. A plate of 64 chicken wings is fine; one beer, not fine. Three triple scoop hot fudge ice cream sundaes? OK. Beer? Not OK. You get the picture.

One of the benefits of AA is practical suggestions like this to help respond to urges.
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this is one of the craziest things i’ve ever heard. indulge in ANYTHING as long as it’s not alcohol?!?! start smoking crack, but do NOT touch a beer. be a glutton, but please, don’t drink tht beer. seems pretty dangerous and reckless.
 
datritle said:
this is one of the craziest things i’ve ever heard. indulge in ANYTHING as long as it’s not alcohol?!?! start smoking crack, but do NOT touch a beer. be a glutton, but please, don’t drink tht beer. seems pretty dangerous and reckless.
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It is not intended to convey an attitude of ‘one vice for another’.
It is better to gain a few pounds and be sober. It isn’t supposed to be forever…just in the beginning when it is the most difficult to maintain sobriety. And, yes…you are not supposed to substitute weed or gambling for booze.
 
datritle said:
this is one of the craziest things i’ve ever heard. indulge in ANYTHING as long as it’s not alcohol?!?! start smoking crack, but do NOT touch a beer. be a glutton, but please, don’t drink tht beer. seems pretty dangerous and reckless.
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I think what he means is - don’t try to do too much at once. Don’t go on a strict low-calorie diet and exercise plan the same week you stop drinking. Don’t commit to stop drinking coffee on the same day you quit the beer! Be gentle with yourself. If you need to temporarily eat your comfort foods, allow yourself to do that.

Of course, you will notice how in any rehab facility and at any AA meeting, many of the recovering addicts smoke and drink LOTS of coffee. There is an element of wisdom in exchanging one really damaging addiction for one that is less serious. People who have strong addictive personalities often use this tactic, and it can be effective. It’s not ideal, of course, but it can work. When you have a loved one in recovery from drugs or alcohol, you are advised NOT to hassle them about taking up smoking or drinking a pot of coffee every day, but instead accept where they are and encourage them to stay sober.
 
mkipp,

I am glad you came back here, because I did wonder where you went and how you were doing.

But it seems that here you are, however long it’s been and you still have the same problem as your previous threads. It is as if you still have not admitted that your drinking is a problem that is big enough to warrant real help. It is obviously not something that you are capable of doing on your own.

For the love of your wife and child, please, go to an AA meeting. If even just to see what it is like.
 
Irishmom2 said:
mkipp,

I am glad you came back here, because I did wonder where you went and how you were doing.

But it seems that here you are, however long it’s been and you still have the same problem as your previous threads. It is as if you still have not admitted that your drinking is a problem that is big enough to warrant real help. It is obviously not something that you are capable of doing on your own.

For the love of your wife and child, please, go to an AA meeting. If even just to see what it is like.
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This right here. I have my own addiction and I wasn’t able to deal with it until my wife packed up the kids and left for a couple of weeks. Today I’m celebrating nine months without pornography in my life. I’m not going to sugar-coat it; the struggle is a lifetime. I still have nightmares about “acting out” and I’ve certainly not been perfect when it comes to lust, but I have not touched my bottom line of porn or the stuff that goes with it for nine months today.

It’s possible to defeat addictions. You just have to realize that you can’t do it. Only God can. What you have to do is let Him work in you as He wants to, not as you want Him to. This is applicable for everyone, not just those suffering from alcohol/drug addiction or porn addiction or anything else. It’s for everyone. We all have struggles and the only way to overcome them is to surrender to God wholeheartedly.

I assure you that your life will be way, way better without this crutch. I’m able to deal with real life. I’m able to form a better bond with my wife. I’m a better husband and father and all around person without pornography. My anxiety level is way, way down. I don’t lie all the time the way I used to. I realize how far away from God I was and how far I still am from Him… but I also have come to know at least in a small way how much He loves me no matter how much distance I try to put between us.
 
I have tried AA, and I did not like it. I am in therapy, but feel so lost as I keep failing. Please Pray for me.
 
You are in my prayer!

I would wear a saint Benedict Medal and do the prayer of Saint Michael.

Blessings and love!
 
mkipp said:
I have tried AA, and I did not like it.
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Then you weren’t really listening. The first thing I liked about AA was that it disabused me of the notion that I was so unique in my struggle. Go again, and this time without cotton in your ears. Identify with the speakers instead of judging them. Once you are able to do that, you will be able to get your head around the idea that you can change your life, as they have changed theirs.
 
mkipp said:
I am scared that I will not be able to enjoy life sober.
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mkipp, while this is an honest comment, what do you really mean by it? Do you mean you actually enjoy being buzzed or even drunk around your wife and child? That is not reality, my friend. Or do you mean that you can’t bear to be around others that are still drinking and not drink? If that is the case, perhaps it is because you are not being honest about your desire to be sober. If you have told them in the past you are not drinking because you are driving or have to do work later or the myriad of excuses one can offer, maybe it is time to tell the truth. “No thanks, I am not drinking anymore. I abuse the privledge. I need to be sober for my family.” You will be surprised how many people will respect you for that.

Something is causing you to retreat to the security you find in not facing your reality by drinking. I hope that therapy helps you discover what this is. But it is no excuse to keep doing what is oviously not working for you.

Mkipp, it is time to change while your child is still too young to remember you being buzzed or drunk. For your wife, I think it would be a great gift for her for you to stop altogether.
 
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