. . . I bolded the part of your post that I am totally confused by. I don’t think God limits salvation at all… it is His desire that everyone be saved. But we’ve been given free will and some people choose to not accept His gift of grace.
Also, you said that God can only do what is loving. I agree. Isn’t it most loving to allow preborn babies who’ve died to go to heaven? In what way have they chosen to reject God?
Dear Carol Marie:
I am writing to try and make clearer my statement: “It is respect for humans and human families that limits God’s options in salvation.”
I will start with an example: If I approach a young mother and say, “I love your newborn child, I would like him to spend the week with me,” and the mother says, “No, I do not want him to go with you.” What are my choices as a person who respects the mother?
My options are very limited. I can try and persuade the mother to change her mind. But, if she does not, I cannot take the child – no matter how good I think it is for the child – unless the mother reconsiders and explicitly gives her permission.
I cannot overpower the mother. I cannot confuse her and get her to say yes, without really meaning it. I cannot merely take the baby and do what I know is best for the baby, even if I am correct and it is good for the baby to be with me for the week.
I cannot do any of these things, even if the baby would want me to. Even if the baby were old enough to say that he wanted to come with me, I still could not take the baby without the mother’s permission, until the child reached an age where the mother’s dignity no longer gave her the decisive say in what the child could do. (To do so would be for me to assist the child to dishonor his mother.)
Now suppose I had the above exchange, and the mother said “no,” and I waited a month. I did not ask again, I just waited a month and then thought, “Well she said ‘no’ before, but she has not said ‘no’ since then.” Even this delay with the mother being silent would not overcome her decision. If I respect the mother, I cannot take the baby. The mother’s word restricts me – if I love and respect the mother.
Suppose I find the baby alone. Suppose someone has violently taken the baby away from the mother and I find the baby. Even this would not allow me to take the baby and do what the mother had denied me permission to do. If I took up the baby and had him spend the week with me, I would become a kidnapper.
All of these considerations apply to God as well as to me. All of these considerations are reflected in the Church’s teachings about baptizing children. The Church, even as God’s direct agent, cannot baptize without a parent’s (or other appropriate guardian’s) permission. She cannot merely override the parent’s decision against baptism, even though the Church absolutely knows, as does God, that baptism would be good for the child.
None of this can be done against the mother’s wishes, even if I believe that “if only she knew the whole story, the mother would change her mind and agree with me.” Unless she actually changes her mind and gives permission, I cannot violate the mother’s dignity, if I love her.
It is in this sense that love and respect for the mother and for the family restrains God from saving children, without the permission of their parents. God so loved the world that He gave His only Son. Sometimes, sadly, His love compels Him to give other children as well.
Jesus did say “let the little children come to me.” This is a command that fathers and mothers must heed and obey. But if they choose not to obey, it is not a command God will impose as a tyranny.
Let us pray that the hearts of parents will be softened.
Pax Christi nobiscum.
John Hiner