Little things

[Linnyo]

Why do some people here get so worried about the little things at church? Does it really matter if we are holding hands, not holding hands, singing contemporary praise songs or traditional hymns, kneeling too much or too little? As long as we are not intentionally being disrespectful and as long as we are doing our best to do as Jesus would want us to do then we are good with God. I really think some people here come across as overly pious and self-righteous and it is a real shame. In fact, posts like these just clutter the forums. We are told not to worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of itself. Think about how God feeds the sparrows. We have no need to worry about the little things. Relax and enjoy being in the grace of God

 

[water]

We are told not to worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of itself. Think about how God feeds the sparrows. We have no need to worry about the little things. Relax and enjoy being in the grace of God

I have no comment on the first part of the post - don’t want any more debate on that.

But in general, if one doesn’t worry about little things, can one be so sure that he is worried about and accomplish big things?

 

[rayne89]

I don’t get it either, I really don’t. Truly I go to Mass to participate in the Holy Sacrifice, to worship and draw closer to God. I would feel horrible if I spent my time at Mass noticing every nuance and “flaw” of those around me. I am not better than anyone, who am I to make prejudgements and “tisk, tisk” at every perceived irreverant behavior? If the behavior is offensive I’m sure one of our priests will address it.

 

[Linnyo]

It just strikes me that people get do caught up in trivialities that I wonder if they even have time to look at the more important things. I guess it is just a bugbear of mine. Small things in life => I just get on with them and say very little and I suppose I expect that others will do the same. I am not really a big worrier though on the whole and I certainly don’t get bothered about how others conduct their relationship with God. It isn’t my place to worry about these things. I do, however, get annoyed by disruptive people in Mass but that is for a different reason. I wnat to be able to hear the priest.

I have no comment on the first part of the post - don’t want any more debate on that.

But in general, if one doesn’t worry about little things, can one be so sure that he is worried about and accomplish big things?

 

[water]

It just strikes me that people get do caught up in trivialities that I wonder if they even have time to look at the more important things.

That is an interesting point of view. I think it depends on each person’s personality.

Some can focus on little things and never gets an idea of a bigger picture.

Some can focus on little things because he knows what it takes to accomplish big things.

Some never care how little or big thing is.

It is better for one to focus on something rather than nothing.

 

[anniemart]

I think what several posters tend to forget is that this is a FORUM…a place designed so that even the least knowledgeable amongst us can ASK a question without having to explain over and over and over and yet over again that it is a *question *being posed. Sometimes there are opinions offered along with the poster’s question. Sometimes there are statements posted instead. All is open for some decent and englightening discussion. All should be read objectively; after all, one is then given the delightful opportunity to engage in rapport from which a thing or two might be learned; pondered; and yes, even whole heartedly rejected.

However, it is disappointing and woeful that some posters immediately fail to reign in a couple of basic human reactions; that of personal judgment and *personal *self satisfaction.

As a result, the orginal post no longer remains the focus. Instead, the responses of others that seek solely to point out that the poster has no right to have any thought whatsoever on the subject itself because their individual thoughts on the matter have already been established and therefore are irrefutable. Things become very personal after this and personal attacks ensue.

As a matter of fact, over the past month or so, the moderators have felt it necessary to come in and clean up poster’s rude remarks and un adult like actions.

By all appearances sake, it takes just one “how dare you have this opinion!” reply post to rally up a group of like minded follow up posts. It is at that moment that I think to myself that somehow, I wandered out of the grown up room and stumbled into the romping corral without knowing it.

There is no acceptable reason for one to lose his sense of brother and sisterhood in responding to a post that is not agreeable to our sense of what we consider right or wrong; is there really?..from the downright profane which also was present on the forum boards this week and dealt with appropriately…why is this so easy for us to forget?..why does it also appear that conversing online *equates with *threads becoming a “free for all” free of any sense of common courtesy for our fellow brothers and sisters? what happens to remaining polite and helpful?

are we hitting the enter key before we proofread our replies?

I feel it necessary to offer an apology to any posters who have just recently become members and were treated very badly by some of our most seasoned posters. Might I also take this opportunity to appeal to your sense of leadership?..let’s stay level headed, free of insults directed at others, and Christi like. :hug1:

Lastly, I can’t assume that my post, well-intended nonetheless, and inclusive of myself, has not somehow been found to be negative.

Thank you and God Bless you, my brother and sister.

 

[THutch04]

I think that what people are upset about by the “little things” sometimes is the possibility that these things may be taking away from the sacredness of the Mass. No, it may not be “wrong” to hold hands, or only sing contemporary music, but is it taking away from the Mass? Are we accomplishing anything by it? And are we offering our best to God?

I’ve also noticed that sometimes questions about “should people be holding hands” “should people be kneeling” etc, come from non-Catholics, people who are converting, or people who have been away from the Church for a long time and are coming back. They could be reflecting on things they notice that are different from either where they worshipped growing up, what their expectations were, or maybe some other reason. But they could be (and I presume they generally are) very sincere questions, and it shouldn’t automatically have the response of “don’t worry about it, it’s a little thing.”

 

[water]

However, it is disappointing and woeful that some posters immediately fail to reign in a couple of basic human reactions; that of personal judgment and *personal *self satisfaction.

As a result, the orginal post no longer remains the focus. Instead, the responses of others that seek solely to point out that the poster has no right to have any thought whatsoever on the subject itself because their individual thoughts on the matter have already been established and therefore are irrefutable. Things become very personal after this and personal attacks ensue.

I felt quite a bit discouraged myself, but I am trying to give it few more try and see how things go in this particular forum.

Thanks for your post Annie.

 

[anniemart]

you’re absolutely right…I have many questions that sometimes I’ve waited on others to pose for fear that I might be judged harshly. I want to share and ask…I want to learn and discuss…but I don’t want to feel bad afterwards…

 

[anniemart]

I felt quite a bit discouraged myself, but I am trying to give it few more try and see how things go in this particular forums.

Thanks for your post Annie.

well sir…you are a beacon of light for someone like myself.

 

[water]

On the contrary, I’ve got too caught up with few threads in the last 24 hours and I have not done my daily duty. CAF can be addicted.

 

[anniemart]

yes…true true true…my children haven’t been fed in days and my husband has washed all the clothes a bright pink!

 

[chicago]

But in general, if one doesn’t worry about little things, can one be so sure that he is worried about and accomplish big things?

The problem is that people can become practically scrupulous over stuff. EVERYTHING seems to be an “abuse” or some semblance of serious problem to them which requires correction.

I like the advice of a good Opus Dei priest, who would often talk in his homilies about how we are, “Imperfect people in an imperfect world”. It is unreasonable, then, to expect some sort of idealized perfect situation. We are human beings, fallen (and funny), and need to make allowances for both weaknesses and differences which are an inherant part of our nature.

There is a saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s ALL small stuff.” That isn’t to say that there isn’t BIG stuff. But it is to note that maybe we shouldn’t get so huffed up about everything or take ourselves too seriously. Sometimes, it is wise to just take life as it is and let our little annoyances pass.

 

[Walking_Home]

Why do some people here get so worried about the little things at church? Does it really matter if we are holding hands, not holding hands, singing contemporary praise songs or traditional hymns, kneeling too much or too little? As long as we are not intentionally being disrespectful and as long as we are doing our best to do as Jesus would want us to do then we are good with God. I really think some people here come across as overly pious and self-righteous and it is a real shame. In fact, posts like these just clutter the forums. We are told not to worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of itself. Think about how God feeds the sparrows. We have no need to worry about the little things. Relax and enjoy being in the grace of God

---

Well Linnyo—over-looking the little things, incorporating which ever type of music, getting rid of what you consider over pious–if we did all that you say—we would probably end up with a protestant “worship service” --Not a Catholic Mass.

 

[viktor_aleksndr]

---

Well Linnyo—over-looking the little things, incorporating which ever type of music, getting rid of what you consider over pious–if we did all that you say—we would probably end up with a protestant “worship service” --Not a Catholic Mass.

I agree. These “little things” are not little things. If these things would not be change there will come a time that the sacrifice of the mass will be a worship service of a protestant. This is the uniqueness of the liturgy so why change it?

Kneeling too much or too little? Why would you kneel little if you are infront of your creator?

The sacrifice of the mass has an ORDER and not just a social worship service. It means that we must follow what is stated in the Order of the Mass.

We are not faith alone people. We have to be obedient to the teachings of the church.

 

[Linnyo]

I agree. These “little things” are not little things. If these things would not be change there will come a time that the sacrifice of the mass will be a worship service of a protestant. This is the uniqueness of the liturgy so why change it?

Kneeling too much or too little? Why would you kneel little if you are infront of your creator?

The sacrifice of the mass has an ORDER and not just a social worship service. It means that we must follow what is stated in the Order of the Mass.

We are not faith alone people. We have to be obedient to the teachings of the church.

I really wasn’t suggesting that the Mass isn’t perfect, I was just suggesting that perhaps our priests are perfectly able to cope and keep the Mass running as it should without us worrying about it. My priest is very trustworthy and I’m quite sure the same could be said for a majority of priests. Therefore, I am going to let him lead the Mass because it is his job to do so. That way the Mass will always be Catholic. After all, he is a Catholic priest with Catholic training. It’s hardly going to turn into a protestant service.

If a priest started to miss out the Holy Communion bit, then I would have something to say because that is the big thing, the focus of the Mass .

 

[tcraig]

Why do some people here get so worried about the little things at church? Does it really matter if we are holding hands, not holding hands, singing contemporary praise songs or traditional hymns, kneeling too much or too little?

Many people ask questions over some of these things because they have been in abusive masses before and genuinely want to know if “doing (insert question of choice)” is an abuse. I used to be in a parish that had so many things wrong with the mass that I first had to educate myself as to what was right! I can understand questions like this, and that’s where I think this forum is wonderfully helpful. Not only can real liturgical abuses be identified, but many posters provide valuable information on what a person can do to try to get it stopped (advice on how to approach one’s priest, the proper way to address a bishop, etc.).

There are also some things that aren’t necessary abuses (such as contemporary praise songs) but that also aren’t the best choice given the directives from Rome. This forum can be a place to vent (sometimes the only thing one can do), ask for help on how to improve the music selection at one’s parish, etc.

And then, finally, there are the little nit-picky things people bring up that often have nothing to do with anything other than personal preference. Some people have personality types where they tend to be more focused or critical of the little things than others. No harm in it being posted on a forum, though you may want to tell them to take a hike if they accost you during mass for having your arm draped over the back of a pew.

 

[Linnyo]

It was the latter scenarios that really bother me. There is no need to get het up about such small things. In fact, getting het up about such things can be bad for your mental health IMO. If little things like that bother you then imagine how you would or wouldn’t cope with the bigger things. Downward spiral:hypno: ! Hey, I’m an easy going sort of person so I leave these things to the priest. Hand-holding and such? How can wee things like that be considered abuses? Rather, they are personal preferences. If you don’t want to do them then don’t! Nobody can make you!
Anyway, I have worked for years to be able to accept the authority of the Church and Her priests and I have finally got there and it gives such freedom. I, for one am not going to start nit-picking! Folk should relax a bit, put their feet up (not on the pews of course) and let the priest do the leading. If there is something that isn’t necessary that you don not want to be part of, then just don’t join in.

Many people ask questions over some of these things because they have been in abusive masses before and genuinely want to know if “doing (insert question of choice)” is an abuse. I used to be in a parish that had so many things wrong with the mass that I first had to educate myself as to what was right! I can understand questions like this, and that’s where I think this forum is wonderfully helpful. Not only can real liturgical abuses be identified, but many posters provide valuable information on what a person can do to try to get it stopped (advice on how to approach one’s priest, the proper way to address a bishop, etc.).

There are also some things that aren’t necessary abuses (such as contemporary praise songs) but that also aren’t the best choice given the directives from Rome. This forum can be a place to vent (sometimes the only thing one can do), ask for help on how to improve the music selection at one’s parish, etc.

And then, finally, there are the little nit-picky things people bring up that often have nothing to do with anything other than personal preference. Some people have personality types where they tend to be more focused or critical of the little things than others. No harm in it being posted on a forum, though you may want to tell them to take a hike if they accost you during mass for having your arm draped over the back of a pew.

 

[tcraig]

It was the latter scenarios that really bother me. There is no need to get het up about such small things. In fact, getting het up about such things can be bad for your mental health IMO. If little things like that bother you then imagine how you would or wouldn’t cope with the bigger things. Downward spiral:hypno: ! Hey, I’m an easy going sort of person so I leave these things to the priest. Hand-holding and such? How can wee things like that be considered abuses? Rather, they are personal preferences. If you don’t want to do them then don’t! Nobody can make you!
Anyway, I have worked for years to be able to accept the authority of the Church and Her priests and I have finally got there and it gives such freedom. I, for one am not going to start nit-picking! Folk should relax a bit, put their feet up (not on the pews of course) and let the priest do the leading. If there is something that isn’t necessary that you don not want to be part of, then just don’t join in.

I agree with you in general. Of course, we might have personality types that find it easier to let the little things go. But I also know (because I was in this type of situation) that sometimes one is stuck in a parish where there are just so many big things wrong that it’s easier to fret over the seemingly insignificant little things. If you are in a parish with a decent priest you are fortunate. There are some who participate in this forum who must contend with absolutely horrible masses, priests and bishops who preach anything but Catholic doctrine, and too many other abuses to mention. To them, insisting on not holding hands at the Our Father (because it isn’t mandated that we do so) might be the only way they can inject a bit of sanity into their situation.

 

[water]

we can ask ourselves this same question: why are we worried about others people worrying about little thing?