Living as a gay Catholic man......

[Catholic80]

I would avoid using the term “gay” or “homosexual” and call it, “same-sex attraction.”

From my understanding, a homosexual is someone who engages in the action, whereas, a person can have unwanted same-sex attraction and remain chaste.

I have had same-sex attraction (and have never acted upon it) but I would never call myself gay or homosexual because I’m not gay or homosexual.

I had a rather messed-up relationship with my parents, especially my mother, and I suffer intensely longing for the mother I never had, and I fear intimacy with men. To call me homosexual would only add insult to injury. I don’t want these feelings, but I also know that they are a coming from deep-seeded psychological and emotional wounds. But thanks be to God, I am healthy enough to recognize these feelings for what they are and understand, to a point, why I have them.

I rant on this because I dislike when people use the terms gay or homosexual when the person is living a chaste life, or at least trying to. Same-sex attraction is not, I repeat, is NOT the same as homosexuality.

 

[severus68]

It bothers me to the point of tears that Catholics today do not realize the truth and the joy contained in God’s word and in the holy teaching of the Church. There are two extremes that one can see on a daily basis in churches, politics, online forums, etc. There is the “all gays are going to hell and will feel the wrath of God Almighty, no matter their intentions.” Then there are the “being gay doesn’t change anything and we can have sex with whoever because God loves us no matter what!”
I am posting this to call upon God’s people!
To my heterosexual brothers and sisters: Please do not judge us. Many gay men and women, including myself, do not know where our desires and longings orginate from. We have no control over our sexual appetites and our lustful desires (although through the grace of God, we can try to right our wrongs and repent of our sins). We ask you to love us. We ask you to accept us! God gave us our crosses, just as he gave you yours. Please do not hate us and pass judgement on us when we bar our souls to the world and reveal what many of us have considered one of our deepest secrets. Do not throw us out into your streets, but accept us into your homes! Do not curse our kind, but look on us with the same love you would look on your other Christian brothers and sisters! Love us, this is all we ask!
To my homosexual brothers and sisters: Stop being misguided into the mistaken thought process that this world owes you something because you are different. We were delt cards, and we may not like them, or we may not like the rules by which this game is played, but we must accept it. Do not be fooled into believeing that God condones certain behaviors because they are socially acceptable. Be chaste! Be living examples of God’s holy will in your lives! God gave us our cross so that we may exemplify his love in our lives and in those lives around us!! Have courage and do not lose hope when people curse you or condemn you. We know the truths contained in God’s word!

After a bout of three years living the stereotypical “gay lifestyle”, I have found my faith and my God and reclaimed my life. I have begun living chastely in accordance with the teachings of the Church and the Word of God. I have kept contact with all my friends and aquantinces and have kept them dear to my heart. Many of my gay and lesbian friends have questioned this decision, but since have accepted and supported me. Many have also inquired into the new life that I live, and have begun the “baby steps” towards a chaste life in Christ. I just ask all this. That we live in peace with each other and learn to love, accept, forgive, and live.
Thank you for reading my rants.

God give you strength, comfort you and bless you. You have such a big cross to bear and I admire your courage.

 

[Gardenman]

Lots of insightful and educational responses here on this subject, as well as compassion.

Semantics, terms, labels, etc. don’t help much either, as is evidenced in the previous replies. Words and meanings can be twisted and turned nine ways from Sunday these days. Stereotypes do an equal amount of damge. I’m learning a lot just by reading these viewpoints and personal experiences/stories/scenarios.

Regreatably, it does appear to me, from my limited understanding about all of this, that like was stated above, if you try to remain true to your faith while identifying with the “gay community” (terms, again…) you get flack from within…not always, but more often than not. Correct me if I’m wrong.

ONE thing that has always bothered me is the way “Pride Parades” attempt to educate the public and garner acceptance, understanding, compassion, etc. etc. yet at the same time promote public displays of lewd and “in your face” behavior. This is counter productive (in my opion anyway…) and doesn’t serve to promote a positive image to anyone… I think it sends the wrong message to people and especially children who see it. Just sayin’…

 

[Vatican2Rocks]

I would avoid using the term “gay” or “homosexual” and call it, “same-sex attraction.”

From my understanding, a homosexual is someone who engages in the action, whereas, a person can have unwanted same-sex attraction and remain chaste.

I have had same-sex attraction (and have never acted upon it) but I would never call myself gay or homosexual because I’m not gay or homosexual.

I had a rather messed-up relationship with my parents, especially my mother, and I suffer intensely longing for the mother I never had, and I fear intimacy with men. To call me homosexual would only add insult to injury. I don’t want these feelings, but I also know that they are a coming from deep-seeded psychological and emotional wounds. But thanks be to God, I am healthy enough to recognize these feelings for what they are and understand, to a point, why I have them.

I rant on this because I dislike when people use the terms gay or homosexual when the person is living a chaste life, or at least trying to. Same-sex attraction is not, I repeat, is NOT the same as homosexuality.

i don’t see homosexual or gay as a bad label. i took a class in human sexuality and we discussed gender identity etc. homosexual is simply a term that means attracted to the same sex. that is its technical term. i never took the term as meaning having sexual relations just as i do not take the term heterosexual as having sexual relations. i am sorry you are having a hard time with this and hope things get better.

just to give some perspective, i think everyone is assuming today that no one is chaste. i am often offended by the questions or prying of others or assumptions others make as well about any potential sexual activity i may or may not be having currently or in the past. they are nosy and its really none of their business. i could be the blessed virgin mary and they would still be presumptuously prying about my sexual activity or status. its rude, arrogant and prying and its also reveals a course base nature on their part even amongst so called holier than thou ones. its none of their business and i don’t help them know the truth because they are not entitled to it. I just cross them off my list for it knowing they aren’t worthy of me because their bringing it up reveals a lot more about them and their sinful nature than it does about mine.

 

[PumpkinSeed]

If you keep God’s word and follow it, you will still make it to heaven.

However since you’re gay, you are called to chastity.

It’ll be hard, but we all have burdens to carry.

 

[Corpus_Cristi]

I would avoid using the term “gay” or “homosexual” and call it, “same-sex attraction.”

From my understanding, a homosexual is someone who engages in the action, whereas, a person can have unwanted same-sex attraction and remain chaste.

I have had same-sex attraction (and have never acted upon it) but I would never call myself gay or homosexual because I’m not gay or homosexual.

I had a rather messed-up relationship with my parents, especially my mother, and I suffer intensely longing for the mother I never had, and I fear intimacy with men. To call me homosexual would only add insult to injury. I don’t want these feelings, but I also know that they are a coming from deep-seeded psychological and emotional wounds. But thanks be to God, I am healthy enough to recognize these feelings for what they are and understand, to a point, why I have them.

I rant on this because I dislike when people use the terms gay or homosexual when the person is living a chaste life, or at least trying to. Same-sex attraction is not, I repeat, is NOT the same as homosexuality.

I’d like to point out how saying “someone has SSA” or whatever makes no semantic sense.

First, let’s start with the word “attraction”, which, interestingly enough, the Church and those who parrot her teachings either never defines or of which have a misguided conception at best. A definition for the word can be found here.

Based on that working definition, we find that the unit of attraction, as it were, is as follows: some is attracted to someone else. The attracter is the one with the attraction, not the attracted person. I know many are wont to say “I/he/she/we/they have same sex attraction” more or less the same way that people say “he has the flu” or “she has alcoholism” (one of my favorites, by the way). Okay. I don’t agree with you necessarily, nor do I see that perception as truly rational, but I see where you’re coming from. I’m just saying that the words when put together apart from any implication of some clinical or quasi-clinical affliction don’t make sense.

For more on identity, there’s my own personal take on it here.

Just thought is clear that up.

God bless,

Rob

 

[Vouthon]

SacredHeartFan

My dear brother in Christ,

You are truly a wonderful blessing to Holy Mother Church. We need more people like you, who are not ashamed of their attraction to the same sex, which is beyond your control, and at the same time who does not condone the gay lifestyle or homosexual sex.

Holy Mother Church does not teach that there is something immoral about being homosexual. One should never be ashamed of who they are - that is a biblical teaching (in Catholic bibles anyway ):

“…Do not be ashamed to be yourself. For there is a shame that leads to sin, and there is a shame that is glory and favour…”

- Sirach 4: 20-21

The Church is a house for all people, all sinners. As Jesus said: “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light”

Thus the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible…They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. ……

The commentary on this part by Fr James Martin reads:

“…the Catechism reminds Catholics that being a homosexual in many modern cultures is still fraught with difficulty. It can be a painful struggle for a gay person to accept himself or herself as someone loved by God. As most of us know, bullying, beatings and, in rare cases, murder, is often part of being a gay or lesbian teen. As a result, the rate of suicides among gay teens is significantly higher than it is for straight teens in our country. In other parts of the world the situation is more dire: in some countries homosexual activity can bring imprisonment or execution…”

To this end the Church, to help and support homosexual Catholics in the face of abuse and prejudice directed against them, produced this official Vatican decree back in the 1980s:

“…It is deplorable that homosexual persons have been and are the object of violent malice in speech or in action. Such treatment deserves condemnation from the Church’s pastors wherever it occurs. It reveals a kind of disregard for others which endangers the most fundamental principles of a healthy society. The intrinsic dignity of each person must always be respected in word, in action and in law…What is essential is that the fundamental liberty which characterizes the human person and gives him his dignity be recognized as belonging to the homosexual person as well…The characteristic concern and good will exhibited by many clergy and religious in their pastoral care for homosexual persons is admirable, and, we hope, will not diminish. Such devoted ministers should have the confidence that they are faithfully following the will of the Lord by encouraging the homosexual person and by affirming that person’s God-given dignity and worth…Today, the Church provides a badly needed context for the care of the human person when she refuses to consider the person as a “heterosexual” or a “homosexual” and insists that every person has a fundamental Identity: the creature of God, and by grace, his child and heir to eternal life…”

• CONGREGATION FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH;
  LETTER TO THE BISHOPS OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH ON THE PASTORAL CARE
  OF HOMOSEXUAL PERSONS, 1986

What we need more than ever, I feel, is role models for gay Catholics. We need an absolutely certain homosexual, canonized saint who struggled with his desires but lead a chaste life. There are certainly saints suspected by some of having SSA such as Saint Aelred, who no matter what people say, does seem to have been attracted to boys in his school days. However we need a modern, 100% certain role model.

I pray that the 21st century brings the Catholic Church such a role model.

We must equally fight homophobia and also secular promotion of immoral sexual lifestyles.

 

[Vouthon]

“…The issue of homosexuality and the moral evaluation of homosexual acts have increasingly become a matter of public debate even in Catholic circles…Naturally, an exhaustive treatment of this complex issue cannot be attempted here, but we will focus our reflection within the distinctive context of the Catholic moral perspective…the Catholic moral viewpoint is founded on human reason illumined by faith and is consciously motivated by the desire to do the will of God our Father…the Congregation took note of the distinction commonly drawn [in the Catholic Church] between the homosexual orientation and individual homosexual actions. These actions were described as deprived of their essential and indispensable finality…The particular inclination of the homosexual person is thus not a sin…[However] to chose someone of the same sex for one’s sexual activity is to annul the rich symbolism and meaning, not to mention the goals, of the Creator’s sexual design. Homosexual activity is not a complementary union, able to transmit life; and so it thwarts the call to a life of that form of self-giving which the Gospel says is the essence of Christian living. This does not mean that homosexual persons are not often generous and giving of themselves…What, then, are homosexual persons to do who seek to follow the Lord? Fundamentally, they are called to enact the will of God in their life by joining whatever sufferings and difficulties they experience to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross…As they dedicate their lives to understanding the nature of God’s personal call to them, they will be able to …] convert their lives more fully to his Way…An authentic pastoral programme will assist homosexual persons at all levels of the spiritual life: through the sacraments …] through prayer, witness, counsel and individual care. In such a way, the entire Christian community can come to recognize its own call to assist its homosexual brothers and sisters…In a particular way, we would ask the Bishops to support, with the means at their disposal, the development of appropriate forms of pastoral care for homosexual persons. These would include the assistance of the psychological, sociological and medical sciences, in full accord with the teaching of the Church…”

• CONGREGATION FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH;
  LETTER TO THE BISHOPS OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH ON THE PASTORAL CARE
  OF HOMOSEXUAL PERSONS, 1986

 

[thomc1980]

If we all accepted the struggle to live our lives chastely none of us would “cast stones” and we would all be happier.

I’m not saying it well, but we wouldn’t need labels - gay, straight etc.

You said it quite well. The most commonly ignored part of the bible is He who hath no sins cast the first stone. Jesus spent the great majority of his time on earth going to those people who others refused to have anything to do with. We should be more willing to follow his example and raise them up and help them with their struggles rather than constantly throw stones at them and drive them away from the Church. They need our support and our prayers.

 

[Catholic80]

I’d like to point out how saying “someone has SSA” or whatever makes no semantic sense.

First, let’s start with the word “attraction”, which, interestingly enough, the Church and those who parrot her teachings either never defines or of which have a misguided conception at best. A definition for the word can be found here.

Based on that working definition, we find that the unit of attraction, as it were, is as follows: some is attracted to someone else. The attracter is the one with the attraction, not the attracted person. I know many are wont to say “I/he/she/we/they have same sex attraction” more or less the same way that people say “he has the flu” or “she has alcoholism” (one of my favorites, by the way). Okay. I don’t agree with you necessarily, nor do I see that perception as truly rational, but I see where you’re coming from. I’m just saying that the words when put together apart from any implication of some clinical or quasi-clinical affliction don’t make sense.

For more on identity, there’s my own personal take on it here.

Just thought is clear that up.

God bless,

Rob

I read your link, and you contradict yourself. You admit that SSA is disordered. One can be attracted to someone whether or not the other person is consciously drawing them. The person with the disordered attraction obviously sees something that is desirable in the other person. In my case, I am not attracted to all women - just very compassionate and motherly, older women.

There is something wrong with that - and it is disordered. My mom was/is very emotionally abusive/manipulative/controlling. She has borderline personality disorder. She played with my affections my entire life, and I was her “rescuer” when she was in crisis. As a young child, I used to fantasize about rescuing women from dramas, because that was my “role.” This is NOT normal. A child should not have to be the emotional support of their parents, nor should they be the ones to rescue the adult from their dramas.

I long for a loving and compassionate mother who puts my needs above her own. I’ve met many “gay” women, who have also had traumatic pasts, and almost always have a mother-issue. SSA is a disorder that I suffer from… it’s not a state of being, as is the term “gay.”

“Gay” describes who the person is. But SSA describes what ails the person. For example, a person with cancer is not “cancerous.” They would say, “I have cancer,” not “I am cancerous,” because they have a condition which is foreign to the health of their natural humanity.

I was not created by God, “gay” nor was I created with SSA. It came about as a consequence of our fallen nature.

We all have a fully healthy human condition, both physically and psychologically, which we will only come to know in heaven. I can say, “I am a child of God,” because no matter what ails me, I will always be a child of God, here and in heaven.
SSA attraction is not a defining characteristic of me, therefore, to call someone with SSA “gay” is false and inappropriate. If you really want to argue definition, “gay” used to mean, “happy.” “Have a good, little gay, little April shower day!”

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Close your eyes for a moment and picture devout Catholic parents. Imagine telling those parents that you are gay (have “SSA”) but are struggling to remain chaste.

You think those parents will accept you? Even with “I’m struggling to remain chaste” included in that statement, I will give it a coin flip, at best.

Imagine all the pain that comes from parental rejection. When we are children, we learn that that parental rejection = death. Death in a literal, biological sense.

That doesn’t go away. It doesn’t get easier when you get older. Rejection from your parents is still equivalent to an emotional death when you are an adult.

Or imagine having to “grin and bear it” while your Catholic friends tell “queer” jokes.

**Or imagine that the homily rails against your particular vice monthly. **

How terrifying, what a painful cross to bear.

And add to that the fact that you will be rejected by many within the gay community for being a “traitor” for trying to live out your faith.

There was a recent project designed for homosexuals entitled “It Gets Better.” I fear that this may not be the truth, that it might not get better for individuals with this problem.

Oh Lord, with every ounce of might in my body I pray: please grant strength to those struggling with this issue. May You embrace them in Your love as they work to serve you.

Interesting parish that would be. I’ve been going to one parish for 21 years now and never, NOT ONCE have I heard any homily railing against homosexuality. NOT ONCE, let alone “monthly.” I think you are being over-dramatic here and misrepresenting our Church while doing it.

Now, the Evangelical Fundamentalists, I can believe that might happen. Such as the Westboro “Baptist” “Church.”

 

[Corpus_Cristi]

Interesting parish that would be. I’ve been going to one parish for 21 years now and never, NOT ONCE have I heard any homily railing against homosexuality. NOT ONCE, let alone “monthly.” ** I think you are being over-dramatic here and misrepresenting our Church while doing it.**

Now, the Evangelical Fundamentalists, I can believe that might happen. Such as the Westboro “Baptist” “Church.”

Hey, who knows? At that particular parish, the topic very well may be interjected into the homily with a certain frequency with which it is not at other parishes.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Hey, who knows? At that particular parish, the topic very well may be interjected into the homily with a certain frequency with which it is not at other parishes.

If it were, I’d find another parish. Especially since abortion is also almost never mentioned from the pulpit.

 

[manualman]

Thanks to the honest and heart-felt posts from those struggling to be chaste in a world shooting at them from both directions. I can see what a hard road that must be!

Part of what makes this such a tough topic to charitably address is the fact that we live in a culture that has framed the debate as a struggle between two alternative positions that are BOTH false (the classic false dilemma of rhetoric).

1. This is natural, we were intended to be like this and we should celebrate who we are, be who we are and revel in it (i.e. the lifestyle).
2. Gays are twisted sickos that we should at least alienate and shun, maybe even eliminate a little more actively…

Both of these are roads that lead to suffering and death.

For some time now, I’ve pondered on it and I am strongly of the opinion that we as a society do NOT need to settle for this artificially polarized culture war. I would like the feedback specifically from posters with a gay inclination on the following analogy.

Homosexuality is not terribly unlike alcoholism. There may be inborn predispositions in some cases, there may be others in which it is entirely environmental, but it is always a disordered inclination, which leads to self destructive results when acted on. As a culture, we’ve learned to be able love those who suffer from acoholism. There are virtually no accounts of people beating drunks or dragging them to death behind pickup trucks because they are alcoholics. And yet, we did not need to resort to campaigns of “go ahead, drink up and be proud of who you are” among alcoholics in order to achieve this status where we can respect the dignity of persons, but denounce the self destructive behavior and try to offer such people every support in learning to discipline themselves. Are we not able as a society to mature to that point in other areas of human struggle? Can we not support and love those who struggle with something that seems bigger than they are while still refusing to enable that self destructive behavior?

I suspect that the largest obstacle is the fallen human tendency to be horrified at the sins of “them” so as to make the sins of “us” seem less severe. Hetero folks do this to gay people badly when we pretend that they are any worse than our own fornicators, masturbators, adulterers and pornographers. Gay people do this when they contend that homophobia is so eggregious a sin that it eclipses the consequences of the sinful aspects of modern gay culture (STDs, drug abuse, suicide, domestic violence rates are all sky high). Both sides are guilty of scapegoating and we’ll never be truly blessings to each other until it stops.

It all makes sense to me, but I’d like the feedback of catholics with an SSA that are struggling to be chaste. Is this a reasonable analogy from your view?

 

[Corpus_Cristi]

I read your link, and you contradict yourself. You admit that SSA is disordered. One can be attracted to someone whether or not the other person is consciously drawing them. The person with the disordered attraction obviously sees something that is desirable in the other person. In my case, I am not attracted to all women - just very compassionate and motherly, older women.

There is something wrong with that - and it is disordered. My mom was/is very emotionally abusive/manipulative/controlling. She has borderline personality disorder. She played with my affections my entire life, and I was her “rescuer” when she was in crisis. As a young child, I used to fantasize about rescuing women from dramas, because that was my “role.” This is NOT normal. A child should not have to be the emotional support of their parents, nor should they be the ones to rescue the adult from their dramas.

I long for a loving and compassionate mother who puts my needs above her own. I’ve met many “gay” women, who have also had traumatic pasts, and almost always have a mother-issue. SSA is a disorder that I suffer from… it’s not a state of being, as is the term “gay.”

“Gay” describes who the person is. But SSA describes what ails the person. For example, a person with cancer is not “cancerous.” They would say, “I have cancer,” not “I am cancerous,” because they have a condition which is foreign to the health of their natural humanity.

I was not created by God, “gay” nor was I created with SSA. It came about as a consequence of our fallen nature.

We all have a fully healthy human condition, both physically and psychologically, which we will only come to know in heaven. I can say, “I am a child of God,” because no matter what ails me, I will always be a child of God, here and in heaven.
SSA attraction is not a defining characteristic of me, therefore, to call someone with SSA “gay” is false and inappropriate. If you really want to argue definition, “gay” used to mean, “happy.” “Have a good, little gay, little April shower day!”

How I contradicted myself is unclear to me as you made reference to one link when I gave two, but then referenced information from both. Clearly you didn’t catch the discussion of what “ordered” and “disordered” means. Either that or you misunderstood it.

As for your relationship with your mother, I’m sorry. I hope that the wound you received will be healed by the mercy of God. I also understand if in order to make sense of being gay, you feel compelled to ascribe warmed-over, Freudian thought to it, whereby you then warp it into some sort of psycho-sexual ‘ailment’. If that works for you, then that’s okay. Just realize that this is not the case for everyone. In fact, more and more people are coming out of the woodwork saying that they’re gay and they have no parental issues whatsoever. In any case, I realize when I’m hitting a brick wall.

God bless,

Rob

 

[Corpus_Cristi]

If it were, I’d find another parish. Especially since abortion is also almost never mentioned from the pulpit.

Well, maybe the poster attends mass with family. Maybe there isn’t another Catholic church in the vicinity. What does it matter to you if you automatically think the poster is misrepresenting the Church?

In any case, I would check my charity if I were you. You came off as rather condescending and it was not necessary, especially considering whether or not your subjective experience doesn’t lead you to believe it, it very well may happen. Just a thought.

 

[fix]

I’d like to point out how saying “someone has SSA” or whatever makes no semantic sense.

First, let’s start with the word “attraction”, which, interestingly enough, the Church and those who parrot her teachings either never defines or of which have a misguided conception at best. A definition for the word can be found here.

Based on that working definition, we find that the unit of attraction, as it were, is as follows: some is attracted to someone else. The attracter is the one with the attraction, not the attracted person. I know many are wont to say “I/he/she/we/they have same sex attraction” more or less the same way that people say “he has the flu” or “she has alcoholism” (one of my favorites, by the way). Okay. I don’t agree with you necessarily, nor do I see that perception as truly rational, but I see where you’re coming from. I’m just saying that the words when put together apart from any implication of some clinical or quasi-clinical affliction don’t make sense.

For more on identity, there’s my own personal take on it here.

Just thought is clear that up.

God bless,

Rob

This is from the Vatican:

Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.

Seems very clear. It is referring to a philosophical distinction.

 

[AthenaC]

Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.

By this logic though, any heterosexual who:

1. is unmarried and has a sex drive; or
2. is married and is not blind

also has a strong tendency toward an intrinsic moral evil. So … that would be all of us. Except for those of us with no sex drive. (And from reading various chastity threads, it would seem that there are many of us with no sex drive.)

 

[manualman]

By this logic though, any heterosexual who:

1. is unmarried and has a sex drive; or
2. is married and is not blind

also has a strong tendency toward an intrinsic moral evil. So … that would be all of us. Except for those of us with no sex drive. (And from reading various chastity threads, it would seem that there are many of us with no sex drive.)

“Sex drive” is a poorly defined term. Are you asserting that experiencing lust(hetero or otherwise) is no big deal and people should give up hope of overcoming that disordered inclination? Human beings are precious creations of God, not objects for our use and pleasure. I, for one, look forward to the day when my sanctification will be such that a naked woman will have no lustful effect on me (marital passion is not the same as lust!). It’s not today, mind you, but then again I’m not done cookin’ yet. I think you mistake people’s assertions about what we should be aiming at for claims of what they’ve achieved. Very different things.

 

[white_sheep]

Interesting parish that would be. I’ve been going to one parish for 21 years now and never, NOT ONCE have I heard any homily railing against homosexuality. NOT ONCE, let alone “monthly.” I think you are being over-dramatic here and misrepresenting our Church while doing it.

Now, the Evangelical Fundamentalists, I can believe that might happen. Such as the Westboro “Baptist” “Church.”

I agree, I have never heard a single homily condemning homosexual acts. Not once. Rarely do homilies touch topics of a sexual nature at all. Even more rarely is there any “railing”.

I, on the other hand, have been to numerous parishes. I could point you to about 3 or so that give good homilies where they might actually be straightening you out a bit on something, not that I would call it railing, and when it touches a topic I personally have a problem with, I am not offended, but more relieved and encouraged to fight harder.