I’m in the US. I didn’t suggest anything to the OP other than seeing a priest. I said what I’d do personally if I uncovered fraud or deception. That would include consulting a lawyer and taking whatever process was necessary to get a civil annulment. Personally, I’d want to be made as whole as possible, legally.NFPWife, are you outside the U.S.? If I read your post right, you suggested a Church annulment be sought and then a civil annulment/divorce? I’ve heard in some countries it’s done differently, so I’m curious. Here in the U.S., one must have a final civil divorce decree before applying for annulment.
I don’t think they could get a civil annulment, but would probably have to go for a divorce. And, reading your response about being whole and legally I remembered something that tripped an alarm from the OP’s posts.I’m in the US. I didn’t suggest anything to the OP other than seeing a priest. I said what I’d do personally if I uncovered fraud or deception. That would include consulting a lawyer and taking whatever process was necessary to get a civil annulment. Personally, I’d want to be made as whole as possible, legally.
There appears to no potential for the marriage to normalize. Your husband has been crystal clear with you as to where he believes his loyalty, resposibilities and priorities lie, and they are not with you! You now need to do the same for him and be clear and tell him your bottom line, and the actions (divorce) that will follow should he not meet that bottom line.I forgot to add that we still talk every day. There have been days that I have not answered his calls because we have argued and I feel tired of it all. He always blames me for moving out of his house and coming back home to my family, but I had no job there to stay somewhere else. He accuses me of abandoning him when I really didn’t have another option. He always says that other people talk behind our backs because I left and that it seems ridiculous (I don’t really care what they say because they don’t know what was going on). I did talk to him twice weeks before leaving about how I felt. And I didn’t plan to leave, it just happened after the problem I had with his brother since they kept leaving him with me at home while my husband was working and my mother in law was hospitalized. I tried to help but leaving us alone wasn’t a good idea and even his uncle told me to not stay with him because he could become aggressive.
I really love my husband and I entered this marriage with the best intentions, wanting to have a family, serving in church and being together til death.
I know all of you are right, and my family tells me the same things, to move on… but for me it is hard and I pray to God to please guide me because I want to do His will. I pray for this door to close if it’s not meant to be, or for my husband to realize what he is doing and to change the negative things. I guess that’s hope.
Thank you all for reading and for you advice.
The guy and his family are bad news and probably just looking to take advantage of you.There appears to no potential for the marriage to normalize. Your husband has been crystal clear with you as to where he believes his loyalty, resposibilities and priorities lie, and they are not with you! You now need to do the same for him and be clear and tell him your bottom line, and the actions (divorce) that will follow should he not meet that bottom line.
I would be deeply concerned about what appears to be deception and a lack of good faith shown by your husband in entering in to marriage with you.