Living without mastrubation

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I stopped masturbating around 10 months ago, after also being involved in an extremely sexual relationship. After we broke up because I had, I guess, an sudden re-awakening in my Catholic faith, I found it really easy to not do it.

Very occasionally now I find myself waking up in the middle of the night semi-masturbating - its hard to explain. As soon as I realize, I stop and ask God to forgive me (even though I guess I am not at fault).

I think if you keep yourself pure in heart and mind, keeping your body pure is unbelievable easy. Really, it is that simple.
 
In my experience, chastity at first was about controlling my emotional reactions and my sexual thoughts toward other people.

Eventually as I got control of that, my mental focus shifted away from me and it moved toward an inclusion of both sexes and into a deeper form of general & spiritual care and concern.

I imagine it’s the truest definition of “brotherhood” or “sisterhood” of man.

P.S. For me, it’s reassuring, ironic and a bit comical that the habit of masturbation is so openly expressed and understood on an online forum with fellow Catholics.
 
Bubba_Switzler said:
Of course I was being simplistic in my response. Married people also commit adultery. The point, though, is that proper sex within marriage is a way to live without masturbation which was the question originally posed.

That is essentially what St Paul said.
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Whoever thought of that must have been celibate. Being married makes living chastely much more difficult since you actually know what sex is like. It is much easier to simply go without than turn the desire off and on like magic once you get married. Unless a person already is living a pure life I fail to see how marriage can help them.
 
KostyaJMJ said:
Whoever thought of that must have been celibate. Being married makes living chastely much more difficult since you actually know what sex is like. It is much easier to simply go without than turn the desire off and on like magic once you get married. Unless a person already is living a pure life I fail to see how marriage can help them.
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I understand your point but I think you are misrepresenting the nature of marriage and sexual desire. Unless you are attempting NFP, a married couple that is having sex when they desire it soon going to be blessed with a family. Even when circumstances require temporary abstinance, that is eaiser for a limited period of time than in perpetutity.

All this is, I suspect, as it should be. Sexual desire, when properly directed, leads to big Catholic families.
 
Bubba_Switzler said:
I understand your point but I think you are misrepresenting the nature of marriage and sexual desire. Unless you are attempting NFP, a married couple that is having sex when they desire it soon going to be blessed with a family. Even when circumstances require temporary abstinance, that is eaiser for a limited period of time than in perpetutity.

All this is, I suspect, as it should be. Sexual desire, when properly directed, leads to big Catholic families.
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I understand. I was only pointing out that it isn’t as if a woman is like a RealDoll that you can take out of the closet when the desire for masturbation appears.

If a person struggles with masturbation before marriage they will likely struggle with it again. If not early in the marriage then maybe after children are born or after health problems appear. IMHO overcoming masturbation should come before marriage.
 
KostyaJMJ said:
I understand. I was only pointing out that it isn’t as if a woman is like a RealDoll that you can take out of the closet when the desire for masturbation appears.
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Of course not. But even if (as should be the case) sex is limited to those times when both husband and wife desire it, it is still easier than abstenance (assuming both are normal, healthy adults). Obviously there are exceptional situations.
If a person struggles with masturbation before marriage they will likely struggle with it again. If not early in the marriage then maybe after children are born or after health problems appear. IMHO overcoming masturbation should come before marriage.
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I agree that self-control is certainly a desirable trait in a husband. On the other hand, it’s easier to “save yourself for marriage” when you are, indeed, pursuing marriage and that Catholics should be more marriage-oriented, in general.

One problem I have seen is a tendency for couples to perfect themselvs before marriage (both personally and financially) when, in fact, marriage itself is a perfecting institution.
 
people may find it a little hard at first to stop but you are not alone and GOD always gives us the grace aND strength to beat this but we have to see what it is and want to really defeat this problem.

You truly feel free when you are not doing such things. commiting such actions makes you want sex more and more and you end up looking at Gods children in such evil ways. You MUST look at others as Gods children and your brothers and sisters. You dont want others to think of your own family members in such ways niether does GOD.

it has been 2 and half years since I commited such actions and I broke down and cried twice thinking I am going to hell for these thing i have done for many years. Its like God woke me up and help me to relize what i was doing was no good and he helped to where i am today.
 
LeafByNiggle said:
Just to be clear, you are not saying that wet dreams are a sign of a lack of devotion to God, are you? Wet dreams are completely neutral morally and are a sign of nothing at all.
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I was referring to masturbation
 
Bubba_Switzler said:
That seems like a rather difficult claim to square with the history of divorce and with reason. High divorce rates are a relatively new phenomenon. And anyone who would divorce, which wrecks familes and causes great harm to children, is not likely to be overly concerned about the sin of masturbation.

On the other hand, marriage is a valid channel for sexual desire while masturbation is sinful outlet for the same.

Of course I was being simplistic in my response. Married people also commit adultery. The point, though, is that proper sex within marriage is a way to live without masturbation which was the question originally posed.

That is essentially what St Paul said.
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I was being churlish. My apologies to you.
 
It is not easy when in a marriage and you have sex fairly regularly, igniting the desires. Especially since my wife and I are baby making age, so we are busy. Then there may be time when we can not have sex and the desires are there.

It is also difficult when there is no actual commandment that refers to masturbation directly, but I have read much around this and do not need to open such a debate.

I suppose it takes a lot of strength and great faith.

Thanks for your replies to this thread.
 
endaman said:
Tell me do some people go months or even years without masturbation, is this true? .
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it is true.

deliberate masturbation is contrary to God’s love, which means that it is depriving someone of their intimacy with God
 
It’s true. Hormones decline with aging, and that helps resist the compulsion.

In my case, chemotherapy, hysterectomy, and estrogen-reducing meds (to manage breast cancer recurrence/metastasis risk) has pretty much eliminated any last shreds of tendency to that compulsion. 😃

Peace, at last! And it’s great by me–I have achieved perfect market equilibrium: no supply, no demand! 👍
 
Enjoy masturbation while you can. I’m a 15 year old boy and thats my motto.👍
 
endaman said:
Tell me do some people go months or even years without masturbation, is this true? Or do most bring this to the confession box.
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I suppose it is easier for some then others.

Not me, it has always been a huge dragon to slay in my life, even though I am married.

It is definitely the thing that I need God’s help with the most, and the thing that I most frequently discuss in the sacrament of confession.
 
…as well as being such a great building block for a relationship with your future wife.:rolleyes:
 
All of the health books I have read throughout school have described “masturbation” as a healthy “experience” (for lack of a better word). I’ve even heard that it reduces the chance of prostate cancer in men, and that I would likely wish to do. How about you?
 
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