J
Joysong
Guest
Hi Lexee,
Also, there was constant alcoholism, which occasionally exploded into a violent rage. The problem here was the change of personality whenever he drank. He is normally a generous, kind, quiet person, but the drinking altered his personality for the worst. Like Anna Rose mentioned previously, I had to defend myself after he broke my eardrum one evening with an assault to my head. I told him to be sure and do his damage while he can, because he must go to sleep some time, and then it’s my turn! It kept him away from me for the most part, though he took his rage out on the home furnishings, damaging the premises - but ONLY when he was drinking.
Now that we are friends many years later (he has been sober about six years or so), he has confided much of what he went through during those years. He said the guys in the bar are extremely negative, and conversations are pumped with animosity toward the “old lady” at home. Most of them have beefs with them, no doubt as an excuse to drink. There are always a lot of women in the bars who are seeking a provider and sex partner. They care little whether or not they are married. The whole atmosphere is totally immoral.
The problem began while he was a youngster at home, because his father was an alcoholic. Unfortunately, his mother never sought outside help, but phrased many times to me that one must carry their cross! Wouldn’t you think he would hate alcohol, having lived with it in the home and seen such terrible things?
We had been married about 18 years before the first divorce. And yes, I was crazy enough to marry him again. It lasted 12 more years before the second divorce.
One just never knows when the rage from drinking can become life-threatening, and the nondrinkers in the family face this danger, more especially when they begin to exercise tough love — a virtual walk on thin ice, I’m afraid. Al-Anon people live with it and have a lot of support and literature to help you as you struggle. I think there is more hope for the drinker than with the adulterer! Lust is extremely difficult to overcome without God’s grace and a deep love for one’s spouse based on fidelity to their vows.
God’s peace and grace be with you,
Carole
Continual incidences of adultery, which did give me a serious venereal infection. You may have seen the medical ads on TV lately that speak about a particular type that causes cancer of the cervex. I believe this was the cause of my cancer, and I had surgery at 24 years old to remove my uterus. Praise God, I had three little daughters prior to this.Carole, what did you have to deal with…gambling, alcoholism, drugs, physical abuse or mental/emotional abuse?
Also, there was constant alcoholism, which occasionally exploded into a violent rage. The problem here was the change of personality whenever he drank. He is normally a generous, kind, quiet person, but the drinking altered his personality for the worst. Like Anna Rose mentioned previously, I had to defend myself after he broke my eardrum one evening with an assault to my head. I told him to be sure and do his damage while he can, because he must go to sleep some time, and then it’s my turn! It kept him away from me for the most part, though he took his rage out on the home furnishings, damaging the premises - but ONLY when he was drinking.
Now that we are friends many years later (he has been sober about six years or so), he has confided much of what he went through during those years. He said the guys in the bar are extremely negative, and conversations are pumped with animosity toward the “old lady” at home. Most of them have beefs with them, no doubt as an excuse to drink. There are always a lot of women in the bars who are seeking a provider and sex partner. They care little whether or not they are married. The whole atmosphere is totally immoral.
The problem began while he was a youngster at home, because his father was an alcoholic. Unfortunately, his mother never sought outside help, but phrased many times to me that one must carry their cross! Wouldn’t you think he would hate alcohol, having lived with it in the home and seen such terrible things?
As I mentioned previously, we had about four separations though the Church. He refused counselling when the pastor contacted him about it. These separations always ended through his persuasion that he was going to change. Words, huh? And they really mean it when they express them, but they are not strong enough to keep their promise without outside help.Also, how long were you married before you finally decided to end it?
We had been married about 18 years before the first divorce. And yes, I was crazy enough to marry him again. It lasted 12 more years before the second divorce.
Not immediately, as I had no reason to do so. I did not file for annulment until about six years afterwards, due to the aging of my witnesses and the difficulty of trying to remember back so many years to write my testimony. The Church does require that there be a civil divorce prior to filing, since She does recognize the legal, civil contract between the parties. It has to be set aside first.Did you divorce and then file for an annullment?
One just never knows when the rage from drinking can become life-threatening, and the nondrinkers in the family face this danger, more especially when they begin to exercise tough love — a virtual walk on thin ice, I’m afraid. Al-Anon people live with it and have a lot of support and literature to help you as you struggle. I think there is more hope for the drinker than with the adulterer! Lust is extremely difficult to overcome without God’s grace and a deep love for one’s spouse based on fidelity to their vows.
God’s peace and grace be with you,
Carole