Losing Faith?

[Lexee15]

Traditional Ang:

Lexee15:

I’m trying to read everything, but all that’s happening is that I’m becoming upset. I just don’t see how the situation can continue without significant psychological damage to everyone in your family.

Are you talking with a Priest or with some other professional? Are you going to weekly confession and the annointing of the sick and daily communion so that, at least, you have all the graces the Church can give you to help you deal with this situation.

I believe that Joysong suggested talking to a professional, and I’d like to second that notion. At the same time, I’d like to second the suggestion of going to AL-ANON.

I believe that these will provide balance and perspective that will allow you to begin to do the things you need to do.

I just don’t see how the present situation can continue withut something really bad happening.

Please get some help, preferably from a staunch Catholic or from a priest, and preferably from someone who’s gone through what you’re going through or who’s helped people who were going through what you’re experiencing.

You’re not alone.

I hope this helps.

In Christ, Michael

Thank you for your support, I am seeing a counselor and I got her through Catholic Charities. I try to go to Mass on a regular basis, it’s just hard with a 6 month old, same with confession. The hardest part of this is that I’m not from this area so I haven’t found a priest that I could talk to comfortably. I do want to find a priest to talk to aside from the counselor, I need spiritual guidance along with therapy.

Again, I’ve been trying to get to a gam-anon or al-anon meeting only it’s hard because of my baby. I don’t know very many people much less be close enough to trust anyone with my child, I do have one girl who helps me and who stays with the baby when I have doctor and counselor appointments, but she also has a family and small children so she has to be home by a certain time or isn’t always available.

I know for a fact that my husband will never get better without some serious psychotherapy, but I need to stop worrying about him and take care of myself. I’m trying to be as loving and as charitable as possible, I just want to do the right thing for everyone.

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Lexee15:

I’m not sure what to make of this comment made by my husband a couple of days ago. We were talking and he was mentioning how a coworker seemed to be afraid of his wife, that he didn’t think it was right. That whenever she called he would get nervous if she got upset with him etc. My husband seemed to be really irritated, and I said well there is nothing wrong if he is afraid of her, but maybe it’s not that he just doesn’t like upsetting her. He said that his coworker acted as though he ruled the roost, but as he was seeing it his wife ruled the roost, and commented on how he shouldn’t protray someone he’s not, I told him he was right and he shouldn’t protray himself as a good, faithful, family man when he’s not . He igonored the comment, I said it’s better to pretend to be a jerk but really be a good guy than to protray to be a good guy and actually be an a****** . He ignored that also, like it didn’t pertain to him.
He kept saying that being afraid of your wife was not the way to have a good marriage, and I told him that if it worked for them to leave him alone, I said, besides he’s probably not afraid of her he’s afraid of losing a good thing, his wife, his sons, his home…his family. He has a good thing going and she’s a good woman, why wouldn’t he want to keep her happy and not upset her…why does it bother you so much? He then said I’m not afraid of losing everything, I’m not afraid to start all over again, with no money etc.
I began to think about that, just like he gambles at the casino, he gambles with his life, he’s not afraid to lose any of it, the money or his family. What do you all think, but my interpretation of this is not that he’s not afraid to lose everything it’s that he values nothing :banghead:. He doesn’t care to lose me or the baby because we are of no value to him.
When you value something…when it’s important to you you don’t want to lose it, and yes you’re afraid to lose it, but if it has no value in your eyes or in your heart then it doesn’t matter whether you have it or not. He has said things like this before, but I had never really analyzed what he was saying, I always took it as a reference to his work/career/job because that was always what we were talking about at the time, but now that I’ve analyzed it from a personal perspective I realize that that attitude applies to all aspects of his life. That’s why it so easy for him to walk away from his children, his mother, his siblings and me, his wife. We hold no value for him.
Maybe I should lose faith, I’m beginning to think he’s a lost cause, and if he doesn’t care whether we’re here or not why should I waste my time, my energy, my joy on someone who doesn’t value any of it.
Unfortunately, my son loves him, even before he was born he went crazy whenever he heard his voice. But, he prefers to gamble or drink than spend time with his son…why because he has no value for him. It’s really sad and I can’t help but to shed a few tears about it. Have I made the wrong or correct assessment about this?

Lexee15:

Please don’t lose faith - the problem is with your husband. He’s the one who’s refusing to understand.

I don’t know what it is with us guys, but if we are ready for marraige, we just won’t settle down, and if our hearts aren’t softened by the cooing of our children and the tears of our wives nothing will soften them.

Your husband is suffering from a disease called “hardness of heart”. There’s nothing you can do about it, except pray that God find a way to soften it.

I can tell you 3 things: 1 Don’t lose your faith - That’s in God, and He’s faithful and just and forgiving and LONGSUFFERING; 2) I’d almost bet that the problem is your husband, and that you can’t change him, no matter how much you try and 3) that you need professional help to help you deal with this.

Go and get the help for yourself. Otherwise, you’re just going to be a wreck, and that’s no good.

And, as you begin to get healthier, you just might find it necessary to leave. I suspect that the only reason your husband hasn’t blown up is because he feels he has you “under his thumb”.

In a couple of years, your husband might lose his “Hardness of heart” and find it necessary to get sober and stop gambling and committing adultery. If that happens, we can talk again.

Until that happens, I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.

Sorry to sound so negative, but I don’t want you or you son to be hurt.

In christ, Michael

 

[Lexee15]

Traditional Ang:

I don’t know what it is with us guys, but if we are ready for marraige, we just won’t settle down, and if our hearts aren’t softened by the cooing of our children and the tears of our wives nothing will soften them.

Your husband is suffering from a disease called “hardness of heart”. There’s nothing you can do about it, except pray that God find a way to soften it.

Go and get the help for yourself. Otherwise, you’re just going to be a wreck, and that’s no good.

And, as you begin to get healthier, you just might find it necessary to leave. I suspect that the only reason your husband hasn’t blown up is because he feels he has you “under his thumb”.

In a couple of years, your husband might lose his “Hardness of heart” and find it necessary to get sober and stop gambling and committing adultery. If that happens, we can talk again.

Until that happens, I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.

Sorry to sound so negative, but I don’t want you or you son to be hurt.

In christ, Michael

You know what I find interesting is that men seem to be harsher on my husband than the women. I would think that as guys you would stick together…make up excuses for behavior etc. The only thing I have found here is that men get really upset with my situation and at his behavior. It’s refreshing to get that from a man, I sort of expect it from women and here I’ve had women who have told me to leave him, that he’s not worth it and others who have been through the same thing and made it and encourage me to hang in there and keep my family together.

I do wonder why men act like this, I sometimes wonder if it’s the parent’s fault, or there’s not enough in the pre-marriage classes etc. Somehow, men don’t understand the magnitude of the sacrament they are entering into, the promises they are making the obligations and reposibilities they now have.

It amazes me, I can tell you this, my husband does suffer from a hardened heart, and he’s been through alot in his life, which is why I say that he will never get better unless he gets therapy. And you say you wouldn’t want to be in my shoes, I can tell you this I’d rather be in my shoes than in his shoes. He’s going to have alot to answer to, I will too, but not like what he’s carrying.

Lexee

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Lexee15]:

I notice you didn’t where you’re from, but St. Mary’s (where I go to) has a 12 noon daily Mass, and we don’t care about the 6 months old in tow - Comes with the territory (just let me know so I can run interference for you).

I prefer to offer my Confessions to Priests that I’m confortable with, but I don’t always have that option. Catholic Priests are bound by the “Seal of the Confessional” - That should help even if you’re not comfortable with the priest, at least for now…

Lexee15:

Thank you for your support, I am seeing a counselor and I got her through Catholic Charities. I try to go to Mass on a regular basis, it’s just hard with a 6 month old, same with confession. The hardest part of this is that I’m not from this area so I haven’t found a priest that I could talk to comfortably. I do want to find a priest to talk to aside from the counselor, I need spiritual guidance along with therapy.

I think the idea of getting spiritual guidence along with the therapy is a good one. Just make sure the therapist knows that you’re a Catholic and that you’re trying to work with a spiritual director.

One thing that borderlines and people like your husband do is to to seperate their spouses from their familiies and friends - That helps them exercise greater control over their spouses. That’s a danger sign.

Al Anon is ued to dealing with crying babies (Comes with who they deal with) - Remember what the only quaification for membership is…

Lexee15:

Again, I’ve been trying to get to a gam-anon or al-anon meeting only it’s hard because of my baby. I don’t know very many people much less be close enough to trust anyone with my child, I do have one girl who helps me and who stays with the baby when I have doctor and counselor appointments, but she also has a family and small children so she has to be home by a certain time or isn’t always available.

…I don’t think that most Al Anon groups will have problems wil have problems with your bringing the 6 month old in a car-seat carrier. If this were a 3 or 4 year old who’d run through the meeting hall, that just might be a different story, but then baby-sitters would be easier to find, ioo.

You might also check in with your counselor about bringing your baby to the seesion. Same with priests and face-to face Confession. I see no reason to make your life more difficul than it is already. I also see no reason for your husband to know that you’re taking these actions.

Please understand, your husband isn’t going to do the serious psycholotherapy unless he sees a real need to repent and turn from his wicked ways.

It took me 15 years to go through that process myself, if I include the first humiliations, and I didn’t have 2 of the addictions your husband has. What finally completed the process was a miracle I’ve described on other forums here on Catholic Answers…

Lexee15:

I know for a fact that my husband will never get better without some serious psychotherapy, but I need to stop worrying about him and take care of myself. I’m trying to be as loving and as charitable as possible, I just want to do the right thing for everyone.

… I’ve spent most of the last 2 years going through a spiritual and mental healing process that can only be described as miraculous (that didn’t include a physical healing - God needed to feed me a steady diet of cross)

Please understand, If you are seeking God’s will, and asking, “What is the right thing to do?” and trying to be merciful to yourself and your son, you will be as loving and charitable as possible.

Those who are MERCIFUL to the CRUEL will be CRUEL to the MERCIFUL.
The Babylonian Talmud

That’s tough, but your husband won’t be able to repent until he has to see just what it is that he has done. and, That’s probably going to be the toughest thing you ever did, and the most truly loving, because you will be aiding in his repentence.

I hope this helps.

May God bless you, and may the Archangel Michael protect you in your hour of need, Michael

 

[Rebecca_New]

How sad that you cannot enjoy these years of your youth. Try to concentrate on getting closer to the Lord. Say the rosary and ask Our Blessed Mother to bring you closer to Her Son. My prayers are with you and your family.

 

[Lexee15]

Rebecca New:

How sad that you cannot enjoy these years of your youth. Try to concentrate on getting closer to the Lord. Say the rosary and ask Our Blessed Mother to bring you closer to Her Son. My prayers are with you and your family.

Thank you, I need all the prayer I can get cause there are times that I feel like I pray and pray and nothing gets better. These are the times when your prayers keep me going. I feel bad that I can’t concentrate on my child and family because I have to wonder where my husband is, that it’s almost midnight and I haven’t heard from him since 2pm. He really has no emotional responsibility, he acts as though the only person that matters in the entire world is him. He will unfortunatley for him come crashing down someday, and he will find that he pushed everyone who really cared about him away.

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Lexee:

Men are genetically programmed to protect. That’s the job we’ve had since the Fall of Man changed our relationship to the Created Order. That’s one reason men go to hunt while women farm, bake bread and raise the children.

Your husband has essentially said he wants all the “Goodies” that come from that without doing any of the hard work.

We know that, somewhere down the line, some man is going to have to deal with the damage this one is causing, and that there won’'t be a whole lot that he can do to help you when you see him spending all night with “you know who” when he looks at some creation of God for 5 seconds…

Lexee15:

You know what I find interesting is that men seem to be harsher on my husband than the women. I would think that as guys you would stick together…make up excuses for behavior etc. The only thing I have found here is that men get really upset with my situation and at his behavior. It’s refreshing to get that from a man, I sort of expect it from women and here I’ve had women who have told me to leave him, that he’s not worth it and others who have been through the same thing and made it and encourage me to hang in there and keep my family together.

I do wonder why men act like this, I sometimes wonder if it’s the parent’s fault, or there’s not enough in the pre-marriage classes etc. Somehow, men don’t understand the magnitude of the sacrament they are entering into, the promises they are making the obligations and reposibilities they now have.

… At the same time, I know there won’t be much that you can do about it until you realize that this man will protect you and not the woman he looked at for 5 seconds. What’s been happing to you is just that primal.

I can’t speak much to the third - I’ve only been back for the past 2 years, and God’s had to do a lot of work on me, and I’m still probably not spousal material.

I know about your husband’s hardened heart, because I was there. I had a heart of stone myself. I only thank God that I didn’t have any children to wreck…

Lexee15:

It amazes me, I can tell you this, my husband does suffer from a hardened heart, and he’s been through alot in his life, which is why I say that he will never get better unless he gets therapy. And you say you wouldn’t want to be in my shoes, I can tell you this I’d rather be in my shoes than in his shoes. He’s going to have alot to answer to, I will too, but not like what he’s carrying.

Lexee

… I also know that God has promised to replace our Hearts of Stone with Hearts of Flesh, and that he is more than able to keep His promise:

*Therefore say: Thus says the Lord GOD: Though I have removed them far among the nations and scattered them over foreign countries - and was for a while their only sanctuary in the countries to which they had gone - I will gather you from the nations and assemble you from the countries over which you have been scattered, and I will restore to you the land of Israel.

They shall return to it and remove from it all its detestable abominations.

I will give them a new heart and put a new spirit within them; I will remove the stony heart from their bodies, and replace it with a natural heart, so that they will live according to my statutes, and observe and carry out my ordinances; thus they shall be my people and I will be their God. Exekiel 11: 14-15. NAB*

Someday, your husband will wake up and realize what he has done just doesn’t cut it, and that he can’t look at himself in the mirror anymore, and then he’ll begin the long road home.

Until that day comes, pray for him, and take care of yourself and your son. And, If you have to leave, or kick him out of the house, so that you can get out of God’s way, do it, please.

In Christ, Michael

 

[Lexee15]

QUOTE=Traditional Ang]Lexee15]:

I notice you didn’t where you’re from, but St. Mary’s (where I go to) has a 12 noon daily Mass, and we don’t care about the 6 months old in tow - Comes with the territory (just let me know so I can run interference for you).

I live in downtown Chicago, I’m originally from California, and I wish I were there.

I prefer to offer my Confessions to Priests that I’m confortable with, but I don’t always have that option. Catholic Priests are bound by the “Seal of the Confessional” - That should help even if you’re not comfortable with the priest, at least for now…

I do go to confession, I just would like to find a priest that has worked with people in this situation. I’m sure I would feel comfortable after awhile of seeing him.

One thing that borderlines and people like your husband do is to to seperate their spouses from their familiies and friends - That helps them exercise greater control over their spouses. That’s a danger sign.

Well I hope it wasn’t his intention to isolate me from my family and friends, even though that’s what happened. He took a job here in Chicago, which is why we ended up moving here. He doesn’t really mess with me as far as control goes, he’s very detached, what he gets me with is his gambling, drinking, late nights and his plain disregard for any else’s feelings, that really gets me.

Al Anon is ued to dealing with crying babies (Comes with who they deal with) - Remember what the only quaification for membership is…I don’t think that most Al Anon groups will have problems wil have problems with your bringing the 6 month old in a car-seat carrier. If this were a 3 or 4 year old who’d run through the meeting hall, that just might be a different story, but then baby-sitters would be easier to find, ioo.

Well if that’s the case then I will continue to look into those meetings, I just don’t want to ruin it for anyone else who’s there.

Please understand, your husband isn’t going to do the serious psycholotherapy unless he sees a real need to repent and turn from his wicked ways

.

Oh, I know that nothing is going to happen until he makes the decision that there is something wrong with him. Unfortunately, he doesn’t think that there is anything wrong with him, he feels everything he does is okay.

It took me 15 years to go through that process myself, if I include the first humiliations, and I didn’t have 2 of the addictions your husband has. What finally completed the process was a miracle I’ve described on other forums here on Catholic Answers… I’ve spent most of the last 2 years going through a spiritual and mental healing process that can only be described as miraculous (that didn’t include a physical healing - God needed to feed me a steady diet of cross)

I’d like to hear about this miracle. Why did it take you 15 years, why so long? That’s what I don’t want, I don’t want my son to have to deal with this, to have a father who doesn’t value him, I think that would break my heart. His bad influences etc. I don’t want to be here 15 years from now wondering if he’s ever going to change.

Those who are MERCIFUL to the CRUEL will be CRUEL to the MERCIFUL.
The Babylonian Talmud

What does that mean?

I hope this helps.

Yes it does.

May God bless you, and may the Archangel Michael protect you in your hour of need, Michael

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Lexee:

It took 15 years, because after the first few shooks, I took a victim status, and then found a condition in which I felt comfortable, and because I was very much lost (I stopped going to Church after my father died in 1984).

The victim status was helped along by of some physical loses that resulted from Brain Surgery to remove a near fatal brain tumor in 1994. This stopped the really bad behavior, but not much else.

I was still outside the Church and away from God’s grace when
God created a situation where I found myself posting the names of the people on the NYTimes ME Forum who were dying as a result of Palestinian terrorism (2nd Intifada, 2001-2003). Name by name, incident by incident God softened my heart, until the slayings of David and Nava Applebaum broke my heart like no other. David was the ER/Trauma Doc who developed the procedures used in most ER’s and trauma centers today. Nava was his daughter who was to be married the day after she was murdered.

5,000 people who were to attend her wedding attended her funeral instead. It took me 5 posts to post their names, and I was crying on every post and every edit.

A couple of weeks before, I had posted a prayer request on the same ME Forum that resulted in a miracle because an Orthodox Rabbi decided to risk his life for an absolute stranger whom i said I dying and would be dead by that morning. Just recently, the group home the lady was staying at did not want to see another such miracle and made sure I didn’t know when she was dying (I think they might be suffering from hardness of heart), so that she died.

Two months after the Rabbi risked his life, and 6 weeks after David and Nava Applebaum were killed, the same Orthodox Rabbi made his last post on the ME Forum. He said, “…My house in Yesha is ready for me, so I only have one last thing to do… Michael, What are you going to do about your spiritual welfare? When are you going to go back to Church?”

Less than two weeks later, I crawled through the doors at a small parish by the name of St. Mary’s.

It simply took every tool in God’s toolbox, because I was really lost. and am I grateful that He didn’t give up.

Lexee, please don’t worry about ruining about ruining any meeting for anyone else, esp. Al Anon. I think that once they hear about your situation, they’re going try to assure that they’re there to help. right now, you need to get help far more than you need to worry about “ruining a meeting” for someone.

The saying from the Talmud says that when we insist on being nice to those who are mean to children, etc., they’re going to continue being mean to children and other innocent people.

Dies that make any sense?

The question is, Is you husband being mean and cruel? or, Is he just being neglectful?

Someone who is neglectful isn’t being nice, but it’s not the same as cruelty or meanness.

I hope that clears that question up.

If not, I suggest reading and listening to Dennis Prager and Michael Medved.

dennisprager.com/
michaelmedved.com/

or ask StillSmallVoice (Orthodox Jew on the board here):
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=61110
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=80167

He may be able to answer the question better than I, because he’s lived with it.

Good night and may God hold in in the palm of His hand. Michael

 

[Lexee15]

It took 15 years, because after the first few shooks, I took a victim status, and then found a condition in which I felt comfortable, and because I was very much lost (I stopped going to Church after my father died in 1984).

The victim status was helped along by of some physical loses that resulted from Brain Surgery to remove a near fatal brain tumor in 1994. This stopped the really bad behavior, but not much else.

Wow, I’m sorry about that…it must have been rough to hear that news. What were you being the victim of? Were you just feeling sorry for yourself and blaming God for what you were going through?

Less than two weeks later, I crawled through the doors at a small parish by the name of St. Mary’s.

It simply took every tool in God’s toolbox, because I was really lost. and am I grateful that He didn’t give up.

That’s incredible, I’m so glad for you, praise God. It took alot of courage for you to do that…I’m glad He softened your heart.

Lexee, please don’t worry about ruining about ruining any meeting for anyone else, esp. Al Anon. I think that once they hear about your situation, they’re going try to assure that they’re there to help. right now, you need to get help far more than you need to worry about “ruining a meeting” for someone.

Thanks for the support, I am going to look into an ala-non or gam-anon meeting as soon as I get a chance.

The saying from the Talmud says that when we insist on being nice to those who are mean to children, etc., they’re going to continue being mean to children and other innocent people.

Dies that make any sense?

Not really, I still don’t understand it.

The question is, Is you husband being mean and cruel? or, Is he just being neglectful?

Someone who is neglectful isn’t being nice, but it’s not the same as cruelty or meanness.

I guess he’s being neglectful and selfish, that’s basically what it comes down to. I’m trying not to see it this way because then it seems as though I want him to do something to make me feel better. If he doesn’t then I just have to deal with that, if he’s neglectful then it’s his loss, it’s too bad he doesn’t know how beautiful it can be to love your family.

If not, I suggest reading and listening to Dennis Prager and Michael Medved.

Who are they?

Take care and thanks for your words God Bless.

 

[Lexee15]

Is it okay to get tired of praying for someone or a situation? I think this is similiar to my last question which is when do you know that it’s time to walk away or give up? I’m trying to do the right thing, my husband has good moments and bad moments, times when it seems like he really wants things to work and he shows it with actions, then he withdraws. He seems very distant and there’s alot of tension between us even though we’re not fighting. He stays out all night either drinking or at the casino, no call no nothing. To me that’s complete disrespect, he acts like it’s not a big deal. I’m still here, or should I say he still comes home, am I condoning this behavior by allowing this? Is it time for me to say don’t come back? I know that things happen when He wants and that’s why I pray so much, I want to do His will, not mine…it’s just so hard. I feel like I may be wasting His time and mine praying for a situation that will never get any better, and instead of feeling uplifted and with strength to keep going I just want to raise up my white flag. Am I praying wrong? Am I doing and asking the wrong things or the wrong way? I just wish I could feel okay regardless of what he does. I want to be okay in spite of him, I just don’t understand why it still affects me so much.

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Lexee15:

Is it okay to get tired of praying for someone or a situation? I think this is similiar to my last question which is when do you know that it’s time to walk away or give up? I’m trying to do the right thing, my husband has good moments and bad moments, times when it seems like he really wants things to work and he shows it with actions, then he withdraws. He seems very distant and there’s alot of tension between us even though we’re not fighting. He stays out all night either drinking or at the casino, no call no nothing. To me that’s complete disrespect, he acts like it’s not a big deal. I’m still here, or should I say he still comes home, am I condoning this behavior by allowing this? Is it time for me to say don’t come back? I know that things happen when He wants and that’s why I pray so much, I want to do His will, not mine…it’s just so hard. I feel like I may be wasting His time and mine praying for a situation that will never get any better, and instead of feeling uplifted and with strength to keep going I just want to raise up my white flag. Am I praying wrong? Am I doing and asking the wrong things or the wrong way? I just wish I could feel okay regardless of what he does. I want to be okay in spite of him, I just don’t understand why it still affects me so much.

Lexee:

Ask your husband if he’ll go to Mass with you but not go to communion (don’t go yourself - receive at another Mass), and make it a weekly (Sunday) habit.

If he goes with, you have some chance, because he’ll be in a place where God can go to work on him.

One reason it took 15 years for God to soften my heart was that I wasn’t going to Mass or hearing His word. That’s why He had to go deeper into the toolbox than on most people. I now watch 4-5 hours of EWTN daily, usually while posting here in order to make sure I hear some of His word during the week.

One reason this effects you so is that women in our society tend to derive a lot of their validation from their husbands. When the husbands doesn’t the validation, it’s hard for women to find it. In your case, You’ll have to remember that you’re a child of God made in the image of Cod for whom Christ died.

Watch the movie The Passion of the Christ and realize that if you would have been the only person who would have accepted the sacrifice, Jesus would have happily gone through all of that just for you. That’s how precious you are to Him.

Concentrate on that the next time your husband decides to ignore you, and realize what a treasure he’s losing.

Regarding the previous communications - The Brain Surgery left me without hearing on the left side (permanent - everything on that side related to hearing and balance are gone due to an acustic tumor) and with my balance and my mobility impaired (it also exacerbated a pre-existing spinal condition). I also had a complete facial palsy which, thanks to one of the sureons, has resolved to a partial paralysys of the face. I felt sorry for myself because I had to struggle to do what most people did pretty easily and I was in so much pain when I did it.

I’m poly-disabled. the less I think about it and do something useful, the better.

The saying from the Talmud is something that you have to see unfold in order to get. I think the Church’s current molestation scandal, where some bishops coddled child molesters who were priests may be an example of this. If the bishops hadn’t listened to the psychologists and had handed the molester-priests over to the authorities when it bacame apparent that the molesters weren’t repentent or couldn’t control themselves, I believe a lot fewer children would have been molested.

Michael Medved and Dennis Prager are conservative talk-show hosts who are both Rabbinically trained, who quote scripture and who both defend Christianity and the Church on their radio programs.

They’re also both better at decribing things such as the concept I just tried to describe than I am.

I hope this clears up any obscurities.

Goodnight,

Shalom, Michael