Well,
- I believe there is a certain priesthood of all believers but it is different from the priesthood of a pastor or priest.
- I believe that salvation is by Grace through faith. Or if the person has not had the opportunity to hear the gospel then by Grace alone in a manner unknown to us.
- I believe in the supreme authority of scripture in that I believe the Church is subject to scripture and is not allowed to contradict it. However, I believe there are truths handed down through the church that are not found in the Bible, such as the canon of scripture and possibly the Marian doctrines.
But, honestly, I don’t know if I believe in the Marian doctrines or not. I understand that this is tradition of the church but I find myself forcing it. I have reservations about Mary. I do not believe she is co-redemptrix. I hope the Church doesn’t make that official. I don’t think I believe she is co-mediatrix if it was that important it would have been in scripture. I think the assumption is possible, but if we were required to believe it it would be in scripture.
I love Mary, and I do believe that she is alive in Heaven with Christ and I understand how the saints can hear our prayers, but I don’t think it’s necessary to pray to Mary or the saints and it is better to pray to God the father or Jesus. I do pray the rosary now and then but I sometimes feel guilty about it and have to force myself to think that I shouldn’t and that it is good and that I am simply praying with Mary, but when I come to the Hail Holy Queen it just sounds too much like worship.
I’ve been reading the Bible a lot recently and many of our practices sound a lot like idolatry to me. It’s a bit unsettling.
I also don’t know if I actually believe in Transubstantiation. I believe in the real presence of the Lord in the Eucharist but I think it is spiritual not physical. I also don’t understand why the Church of Rome would have a monopoly on the Eucharist. I don’t believe they do and I think that the Orthodox Churches, The Anglican’s, the Lutheran’s, and some Methodist’s have the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist.
I think I just want to be Catholic that’s why I converted. I don’t know if there is a way I can actually force myself to have faith in the Church because I just don’t. I don’t trust them. I trust in Jesus Christ and in the Bible and my conscience tells me that if it’s not in the Bible I am not required to believe it in good faith.
But, I want to be Catholic, because I love the Mass and the tradition and believe that it is a direct unbroken line from the Church of Rome that the Epistle was written too. I believe that the successor of Peter holds a special place in the Church and should be considered in all decisions, but I do not believe he is infallible. I support his intentions as long as they are Christ centered and aimed at spreading the gospel.
I think when I joined the Catholic Church I was very weak in faith at the time. And though that God somehow would only respond to those who were ordained into this ancient Church that claims to be the only one founded by Christ. I thought I needed a mediator between me and the Lord. Now I think that the Lord loves me and wants me to make myself known to Him. I don’t need a mediator. Christ is fully sufficient for me. I place my faith in Him.
But, I want to be able to be Catholic. I want all of the Churches to join as one like Christ said in John 17. I don’t know if I regret my decision to become a Catholic or not. I was so happy after RCIA right before the divorce. I thought I had discovered the truth of everything in the Catholic Church. Since then I seem to become more disillusioned by the day.
Out of all of my apologetic and theological studies and my being a sponsor for a Lutheran of all things into the Catholic Church, yes, I have been through RCIA twice once as a candidate once as a sponsor, I have realized that the Catholic position is the hardest to evangelize. There is so much that gets in the way of people coming to the Church. Life gets in the way. It is so hard to look at people and know that for them to experience the peace of the sacraments it is almost impossible because of the time it takes and the details. There is too much bureaucracy standing in the way of Christ for the Catholic Church to be an effective servant of the Lord in this day and hour. Almost all of the Christian evangelizing and introduction to Lord is done by Protestants who invite people to come the same way Christ did, by just accepting Him.
So, I have a lot of issues right now. I’m going through a crisis of faith. I’m thinking the Lutheran’s are the best match that I’ve heard of to original Christianity and my personal beliefs. But do you have any idea how humiliating it would be to actually tell people I know that? They all think I am a staunch Catholic because I spew the same apologetics you guys do when confronted by any idea other than Catholic.
I want to worship God in Spirit and Truth. Who does that? If it’s the Lutherans I’m going to humbly become a Lutheran. I just want to do the right thing. Please don’t think this is just about divorce etc…I think my first marriage is null because like I said she says so through words and actions. So I believe I am free of her and I have remarried. The ridiculous ordeal of annulment and re-marriage in the Church is just another log on the fire. I have a lot of concerns. I think it may have been a mistake to convert, but then again if I hadn’t converted I probably wouldn’t believe at all.
So, why should I stay Catholic? That’s what I was hoping to hear at this site that has always been my home base for reassurance. Do you think I made a mistake in converting?
Sorry, to ramble. I just noticed how long this was.