Lying to a Baptist College

[trumpet152]

I’m a protestant who wants to become Catholic. In the mean time, I live at home and because of Baptist family, I am forbidden to anything Catholic. In fact, I am forced to attend a Baptist Church and attend a Baptist College. I hope to move out at the end of next semester (finances won’t allow me to do so before that point).

One of the things I must do at this college is go on weekly visitation (going door to door to talk to people about Christianity). Of course, I have to invite people to a Baptist Church and show them how to be a Baptist. There are obvious problems with this.

Every week I have fill a form out saying I went. If I don’t fill it out, I get kicked out. But I don’t want to lie, and I don’t want to go. So what should I do?

 

[Jabronie]

Wow. Sorry to hear your story. What is the college you go to? Does it actually require all students to go door-to-door once per week? Have you told anyone that you are feeling drawn to the Catholic Chruch?

If you’re not eighteen yet, there’s not a lot you can do, but if you are eighteen, move out when you can afford to. If you inform the college that you do not want to participate in the door-to-door stuff, what is the penalty? You may have to go to another college.

How long have you been interested in the Catholic
Church? Good luck in your journey.

 

[quasimodo]

yeow. I feel your pain and dilemma. I am the wrong person to give advice here, I know… but that never stopped me before.

Do you go door to door alone or with others? How old are you? Why will finances iimprove in the near future? There are a lot of questions that impact any (name removed by moderator)ut.

If you say you went door to door, that should be true. Talk about Christianity, if you tell the college you do, but stick to C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity” topics. Don’t lie.

 

[Eileen_T]

1. How long before the end of the semester?
2. Do you go on weekly visitation alone or with someone else?
3. If with someone else, is it possible for you to go alone?

You can’t lie, it is not only unethical it is a SIN. Pray about it - you probably are already doing that - but specifically ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and grace in this dilemma.

 

[Gerry_Hunter]

The ground has been well covered on leaving and lying (do the first when you can; don’t do the second), but if you must go door-to-door, then here’s a formula the Catholic school my daughter attended used.

The school was indeed Catholic, but was open to Protestants and non-Christians, with the understanding that they would have to take Catholic religion classes, and write (and pass, if they wanted to attend the graduation ceremony) examinations in the subject. They were permitted to use the formula "The Catholic Church teaches … " in answering examination questions. So, for example, if the question was one concerning real presence in the Holy Eucharist, they could answer “The Catholic Church teaches that Jesus Christ is really present in the Holy Eucharist.”

If you are in a corner, you would not lie if you said, "The Baptist teaching is … " in answer to a question, or in making a statement.

I will pray that you will be delivered safely from this difficult situation, and find a warm, welcoming embrace in the arms of our Holy Mother the Church.

Blessings,

Gerry

 

[Eileen_T]

Gerry Hunter:

If you are in a corner, you would not lie if you said, "The Baptist teaching is … " in answer to a question, or in making a statement.

This is a really good answer to the difficulty trumpet152 is facing. I have used this method in counselling non-Christians not to have an abortion “According to Hindu/Moslem teaching…” Good one Gerry.

 

[Writer]

Eileen T:

This is a really good answer to the difficulty trumpet152 is facing. I have used this method in counselling non-Christians not to have an abortion “According to Hindu/Moslem teaching…” Good one Gerry.

I agree… Don’t let yourself be tempted to lie. Be honest, but prudent, and let the chips fall where they may. When one undertakes the honest path on issues like this, sometimes it’s surprising what avenues open to you–options you may never have even considered.

 

[Roman_Army]

Go door to door, but instead of teaching them how to be Baptist, teach them how to be Catholic. Then fill out the form telling them that you hope to convert people in to the true and first Church of Christ which is the Catholic Church. Otherwise, I’d strongly advise you not to go and not to lie. Pray for them all. If they kick you out, at least you know you did the right thing.

 

[trumpet152]

1. How long before the end of the semester?
2. Do you go on weekly visitation alone or with someone else?
3. If with someone else, is it possible for you to go alone?

To answer the questions:

1. A few weeks. (It’s next semester I’m really worried about.)
2. Typically with someone else.
3. It is possible to go alone.

Thanks the advice, everyone. A lot of it was very good. So good, in fact, that I think I’ll take it.

 

[I_A]

Pray! Pray, pray, pray.

It is never acceptable to lie.

When God closes one path he opens another, of even more abundant fruit. It is so very difficult to trust fully in him, but sometimes this is what we need to do. Sometimes things are tough, but through our difficult times God makes us humble and wise, and we can participate in his suffering.

I’m not saying you need to stop going door to door, but I am saying it is completly unacceptable to sin, lie. If you can find a delicate way to do it you can avoid sin, but if God is calling you to do more than simply avoiding lieing it is best to listen. Who knows how your actions affects those around you. Perhaps you will say three little words which will lead the dean of the college to reconsider his stances on things not now, but maybe 10 years down the road.

Be as Paul and be joyful for our sufferings, so we can more bear Christ’s likeness. His reward is great in heaven.

“The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” ~Matt 8:20

 

[puzzleannie]

If you are an adult, you are not being forced to do anything, although you may be allowing yourself to be manipulated, usually financially which is how a lot of parents try to control their adult children.

If you are truly convinced that the Catholic church and only she teaches the truth you morally have no choice except to adopt a course of action that will lead to your study and preparation for the sacraments.

If a necessary step in that journey is severing financial dependence on your parents, including forgoing college for a while, so be it. Get a job, move out, save money, and put yourself through school like millions of other people, and worship where you like and prepare for your homecoming to the Catholic Church.

Honoring your parents means respecting them and obeying them in all things not sinful or not contrary to your convictions. It does not mean submitting to their efforts to control your adult life.

you can’t use a good end to justify an evil action, like lying, just begin telling the truth, at Church, at school and at home. Yes you will very likely to be persecuted, but that is the price of being a disciple of Jesus.

welcome home

 

[deb1]

puzzleannie:

If you are an adult, you are not being forced to do anything, although you may be allowing yourself to be manipulated, usually financially which is how a lot of parents try to control their adult children.

If you are truly convinced that the Catholic church and only she teaches the truth you morally have no choice except to adopt a course of action that will lead to your study and preparation for the sacraments.

If a necessary step in that journey is severing financial dependence on your parents, including forgoing college for a while, so be it. Get a job, move out, save money, and put yourself through school like millions of other people, and worship where you like and prepare for your homecoming to the Catholic Church.

Honoring your parents means respecting them and obeying them in all things not sinful or not contrary to your convictions. It does not mean submitting to their efforts to control your adult life.

you can’t use a good end to justify an evil action, like lying, just begin telling the truth, at Church, at school and at home. Yes you will very likely to be persecuted, but that is the price of being a disciple of Jesus.

welcome home

I hesitate to tell anyone to enter the military but doing so will give you freedom from your parents and the right to make your own decision. It will also provide you with free medical and dental. If you enter in a field like nursing then the military will teach you the medical skills that you need. So, if you choose wisely you will have skills that can translate into the outside world.

 

[kage_ar]

puzzleannie:

If a necessary step in that journey is severing financial dependence on your parents, including forgoing college for a while, so be it. Get a job, move out, save money, and put yourself through school like millions of other people, and worship where you like and prepare for your homecoming to the Catholic Church.

Honoring your parents means respecting them and obeying them in all things not sinful or not contrary to your convictions. It does not mean submitting to their efforts to control your adult life.

AMEN to every word PA said!

Nothing to add. Time to fly away from the Baptist nest and soar on Eagles Wings!

 

[koda]

Education is expensive, especially at a private college. But there are ways to pay. I take it you are an undergraduate. Check into grants and work study - and check into another school. You can’t compromise your beliefs. There is a great deal of info available on the web about schools and financing. You’ve got to stand on your own two feet sometime.

 

[deb1]

koda:

Education is expensive, especially at a private college. But there are ways to pay. I take it you are an undergraduate. Check into grants and work study - and check into another school. You can’t compromise your beliefs. There is a great deal of info available on the web about schools and financing. You’ve got to stand on your own two feet sometime.

My hubby is a weather man in the AirForce. While he is active duty, his tution is free. He has to pay for his own books. He has two associate degrees and is working on a bachleor’s degree.

I don’t mean to push the military-especially now that we are at war- but it is worth considering.

 

[Ray_Scheel]

Is there any minimum number of doors you have to visit on this weekly outing? What I’m thinking is that you could, with creativity, go knock on the door of the rectory (priest’s house) of nearby Catholic parishes and explain your predicament, and use the time to get some guidance yourself, while still being able to say that you knocked on a door to talk about your faith…

 

[masondoggy]

Ray_Scheel:

Is there any minimum number of doors you have to visit on this weekly outing? What I’m thinking is that you could, with creativity, go knock on the door of the rectory (priest’s house) of nearby Catholic parishes and explain your predicament, and use the time to get some guidance yourself, while still being able to say that you knocked on a door to talk about your faith…

Good idea!

I agree with others that it’s time to get out on your own if that’s what is necessary for you to follow the Truth.

Don’t automatically assume your parents will kick you out because you convert. Give them the benefit of the doubt and after a period of prayer, sit down and talk to them and tell them you are feeling drawn to the Catholic Church. Explain to them why, and that you cannot, in good conscience, follow another road.

They might be supportive, or at least try to be. You will never know until you give them a chance. If they freak out and kick you out on the streets, you’ll be fine. Jesus will get you through it. You can apply at a local public college and get grants and loans. It’s possible. Put yourself in God’s hands.

 

[trumpet152]

masondoggy:

You can apply at a local public college and get grants and loans. It’s possible. Put yourself in God’s hands.

Odd question, but very related: how does one apply for grants and loans?

 

[Forest-Pine]

trumpet152:

Odd question, but very related: how does one apply for grants and loans?

Are you in the US? I’ll assume so. The first step is that you MUST fill out a FASFA. That is the Federal Application for Student Financial Aid. One dillema with that. If you are all of a sudden estranged from your parents but under 23 or 24 I think, the FAFSA will still assume that your parents have an obligation to help with your schooling. What that means is that you will be required to use their financial information. There are ways around this if your Financial Aid counselor is willing to work with you. (There is no appeal of the counselor’s decision and it is simply luck of the draw usually.) If they (your parents) are unwilling to cooperate, you can get an overide allowing you to use your own info. I think the new form comes out in December, so you are asking at a good time! Get it the day it comes in, fill it out (it is easy, you need the tax returns from last year pretty much) and turn it back in immediately. They really push the online service. You have to get set-up with a pin number, so get on that as soon as possible. (Not sure if you can now, but if so, do it.)

The FAFSA asks if you are willing to accept grants (duh, yes), loans, parental loans, and work study (no more than 20 hours a week, you work for the school wherever they need you). Once you fill out the FAFSA, you will then use that for any other aid you apply for as well. Schools usually have their own grants and departments do as well. Then there are scholarships through local and national groups. Most scholarships go unawarded because no one applies! Don’t bank on the big ones, but go for several small ones ($500-1500). You are more likely to get those. Many require essays. Those are least likely to be applied for, so take the time to do it! Some also will pay for a specific class or for books or some such. Every bit helps.

Also check into changing/taking on jobs in your field. Many places (I think even Sears) will pay tuition for classes in a field that will help you in your job at the company. Some employers also have re-imbursement programs. Even a lot of fast-food type places. Look around for benefits!

Lastly, check out your local Catholic church and diocese. The more involved you are, the more community support you will receive.

PS Check out the Knights of Columbus. Insta-group of support for coming into the church community. I hear it is a good old (orthodox) time for guys. With your family not supporting you, you must realize that you will need support within the church, so seek it out.

 

[masondoggy]

Forest-Pine:

Are you in the US? I’ll assume so. The first step is that you MUST fill out a FASFA. That is the Federal Application for Student Financial Aid. One dillema with that. If you are all of a sudden estranged from your parents but under 23 or 24 I think, the FAFSA will still assume that your parents have an obligation to help with your schooling. What that means is that you will be required to use their financial information. There are ways around this if your Financial Aid counselor is willing to work with you. (There is no appeal of the counselor’s decision and it is simply luck of the draw usually.) If they (your parents) are unwilling to cooperate, you can get an overide allowing you to use your own info. I think the new form comes out in December, so you are asking at a good time! Get it the day it comes in, fill it out (it is easy, you need the tax returns from last year pretty much) and turn it back in immediately. They really push the online service. You have to get set-up with a pin number, so get on that as soon as possible. (Not sure if you can now, but if so, do it.)

The FAFSA asks if you are willing to accept grants (duh, yes), loans, parental loans, and work study (no more than 20 hours a week, you work for the school wherever they need you). Once you fill out the FAFSA, you will then use that for any other aid you apply for as well. Schools usually have their own grants and departments do as well. Then there are scholarships through local and national groups. Most scholarships go unawarded because no one applies! Don’t bank on the big ones, but go for several small ones ($500-1500). You are more likely to get those. Many require essays. Those are least likely to be applied for, so take the time to do it! Some also will pay for a specific class or for books or some such. Every bit helps.

**Also check into changing/taking on jobs in your field. Many places (I think even Sears) will pay tuition for classes in a field that will help you in your job at the company. **Some employers also have re-imbursement programs. Even a lot of fast-food type places. Look around for benefits!

Lastly, check out your local Catholic church and diocese. The more involved you are, the more community support you will receive.

PS Check out the Knights of Columbus. Insta-group of support for coming into the church community. I hear it is a good old (orthodox) time for guys. With your family not supporting you, you must realize that you will need support within the church, so seek it out.

Also, if your interested in a health care related field, many hospitals will pay for nursing school if you get a job. Generally in at least 2 years you can have an RN license making good money. And you’ll ALWAYS have a job.