Mad at God

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mr_Lonely
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Mr_Lonely

Guest
I’ve been going through a lot lately. I’ve been trying to deal with it in order to save my family.

That said, I took the advice of people from the forum and finally spoke to a priest regarding my issues. Just a little background regarding my spirituality I am devoutly Catholic, although not always the most pious, I always held my faith in high regard. Recently, I’ve had to face some demons that caused me to question my faith and even become angry at God. I admit I don’t want to be that way, and I even asked the priest how can I heal my relationship with God.

That’s where things got a little confusing for me. Although the priest was nice, and not confrontational in any way, he made it seem that I shouldn’t be mad at God and it’s not fair, and that it’s my fault. I’ve been betrayed by everyone in my life at one point or another, , I was abused as a child, I am currently estranged from extended family, I’m the sole provider for my family, wife doesn’t know how to support me, and a couple of my kids have Autism. Sorry for feeling in the dumps for what life has given me, but blaming me in the emotional state I was already in didn’t seem appropriate. I’m sorry for being mad at God, but if he the is the Creator for all, and if all around me appears to be falling apart, then it’s only natural to build that correlation. I’m trying to fix it, but it seemed like another slap in the face.

Thoughts?
 
Priests are human, and can be as insensitive as anybody else.

This one might have treated you unkindly, but do not take that as a rejection from the Church per se.

ICXC NIKA
 
GEddie said:
Priests are human, and can be as insensitive as anybody else.

This one might have treated you unkindly, but do not take that as a rejection from the Church per se.

ICXC NIKA
Click to expand...
This.

I guess I would approach it this way:

We all get mad at God at some point or another. We don’t understand His will, or we think we are being treated unfairly; or maybe we’re suffering greatly and just have nowhere else to place our anger. That’s a natural reaction, and I believe that even Job, the literal representation of “everything has gone wrong in my life, but I still love God,” got mad.

Even though this anger could be considered a natural reaction to harsh stimuli, we have to remember that ultimately God does not want us to suffer, He wants us to flourish as his children. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world that is constantly working to drag us away from Him.

Please, just remember that anger is an emotion; we don’t really have control over when we experience it. What we can control is what we do with it. As long are you are not willing yourself to be angry at God, and are trying to find peace despite your troubles, then I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. It’s only when you give up and actively allow yourself to be mad at Him that you cross the line into sinfulness.

It sounds like you are suffering greatly, and it sounds like you are having trouble seeing a plan in this suffering. That’s normal, don’t worry that you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s distressing, but not abnormal in situations like yours. Just remember that no matter what, no matter how mad you may become, Jesus is right next to you, waiting for you to reach out and take hold of His hand. He might not stop the storm, but He will always keep you from sinking.
 
It also is natural for pain to turn into anger, having nowhere else to go. But not everybody will understand that. Don’t kick yourself in the pants; you are not an angel, you are a human being in a world of human beings.

ICXC NIKA
 
Any suggestions on trying to heal your relationship with God?

With what I’ve been going through, part of me doesn’t believe He’s really there for me. At the same time, I don’t know if I have the energy or strength right now to fight for it. I just don’t know…
 
Have you read the Book of Job recently? If not, I’d encourage you to do so. It addresses just these sorts of issues.
 
Mr_Lonely said:
I’ve been going through a lot lately. I’ve been trying to deal with it in order to save my family.

That said, I took the advice of people from the forum and finally spoke to a priest regarding my issues. Just a little background regarding my spirituality I am devoutly Catholic, although not always the most pious, I always held my faith in high regard. Recently, I’ve had to face some demons that caused me to question my faith and even become angry at God. I admit I don’t want to be that way, and I even asked the priest how can I heal my relationship with God.

That’s where things got a little confusing for me. Although the priest was nice, and not confrontational in any way, he made it seem that I shouldn’t be mad at God and it’s not fair, and that it’s my fault. I’ve been betrayed by everyone in my life at one point or another, , I was abused as a child, I am currently estranged from extended family, I’m the sole provider for my family, wife doesn’t know how to support me, and a couple of my kids have Autism. Sorry for feeling in the dumps for what life has given me, but blaming me in the emotional state I was already in didn’t seem appropriate. I’m sorry for being mad at God, but if he the is the Creator for all, and if all around me appears to be falling apart, then it’s only natural to build that correlation. I’m trying to fix it, but it seemed like another slap in the face.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...
I think you need to be careful the way you talk about your life. To me, your coming across as a perpetual victim. Constantly disrespected and betrayed. And now a priest, your throwing a priest under the bus now? There are people, like myself, who see a red flag go up when hearing such stories. IMHO, there may be something in your past that is causing you to handle life this way. Some professional counseling may help you.

God surely has great things in store for you.
 
1Lord1Faith said:
To me, your coming across as a perpetual victim.
Click to expand...
Needless to say, OP, I completely disagree with this assessment. Please ignore this type of language. 🙂

Perhaps Jesus permitted the priest to be a little rude with you because He wants you to put your trust in Him, not in the words of His priest.

In order for you to get closer to God, I think that what you need to do is to learn to accept His will. The problem is that that’s totally the most difficult lesson of all.

I think it’s necessary to get there by simply telling Jesus that you trust Him. Lord, if you will it, you can heal me. We have faith in Him that He can; we have trust in Him that His will should be done.

Take your pain and give it to Him with trust. Is that difficult? Of course! Because it’s not a habit. But how is it going to become a habit without opportunity to form it? But once it becomes a habit, your growth in holiness will be absolutely incredible.

And don’t waste your suffering! In fact, I put my own family in your hands insofar as I ask you for prayers for them. Please keep us in mind, and use your suffering to help us. I would appreciate that.
 
I’m sorry to hear you were abused as a child for that can be very painful and hard to deal with. However it can be handled in two ways: never letting go, and letting go of it.

Some might say that this is too difficult to “let go”. But unless you find some way to do this, you will be the one to suffer from this psychologically and spiritually. The best way is to simply tell Jesus you do not want them to be punished for this because forgiveness is love, the same kind Jesus gave and gives to us. Nothing could please him more, and you will find that out as time moves on.

Your estranged family sometimes can’t be fixed. But if at all possible try to fix it because “no man is an island”. And in showing kindness to other is the way to win kindness for yourself. “For it will be measured to you as you measure it to others.” And even if it can’t be fixed, be curtious to them anyway for the sake of Jesus.

We all know deep within ourselves that Jesus is not here to fix all our problems or make all things right. But he did say “my peace I give to you, my peace I leave with you.” That is what we will attain if we follow his way and develope a soft heart as was his.

“Learn of me, for I am meek and humble of heart.”
Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto thine.
 
Forgive the priest for he doesn’t truly understand the priest was probably not seeing and didn’t know all this. If you told him this and he still was kinda rude still forgive him for he is only a man like you and I

As for you I feel for you man I can see how demons would want to strike a good man like you
You have suffered so much
Keep in mind that the devil and his demons hate and only want more

Sometimes it’s hard to see the love of God when life falls apart I’ve felt that way to and I’m just some teen

Even Mother Theresa felt abandoned in his time

You should pray
I’ve realized the power of prayer and see it work and its very cool for me to see

Something that helps me in down times is to google a picture of Jesus hugging someone
It may not work the same for you but it works for me a suggest you give it a try seeing a smiling Jesus hugging us men and loving us is truly reassuring
I will send some prayers your way

Your life seems to be hard on you but know that God calculates all and it may end up helping you in his court and merit happiness
I hope you can feel better
 
Just to be clear…I don’t have anything against the priest. I don’t even feel he meant to hurt me in any way.

I felt there was a better way to address that part of the conversation. Perhaps, he was offended that I felt angry at God. Was it the right thing to say? Who knows.

I appreciate the feedback and kind wishes. Life is hard. I’m experiencing that right now. I want to heal, but the journey to that is difficult, assuming I’m on the right path. I’m lost…I have questions…I asked for help, Would you condemn a man trying to find his way?
 
Priests are only human and can’t be everything to everybody. Maybe counseling is not one of your pastor’s better skills.
If you have children with autism your wife is probably maxed out with meeting their needs and doesn’t have a lot left over for yours.
You have a lot on your plate - is there a trained/certified counselor or support group you could go to?
 
Polyphony said:
… Perhaps Jesus permitted the priest to be a little rude with you because He wants you to put your trust in Him, not in the words of His priest.

In order for you to get closer to God, I think that what you need to do is to learn to accept His will. The problem is that that’s totally the most difficult lesson of all.

I think it’s necessary to get there by simply telling Jesus that you trust Him. Lord, if you will it, you can heal me. We have faith in Him that He can; we have trust in Him that His will should be done.

Take your pain and give it to Him with trust. Is that difficult? Of course! Because it’s not a habit. But how is it going to become a habit without opportunity to form it? But once it becomes a habit, your growth in holiness will be absolutely incredible.

And don’t waste your suffering! In fact, I put my own family in your hands insofar as I ask you for prayers for them. Please keep us in mind, and use your suffering to help us. I would appreciate that.
Click to expand...
Mr Lonely, I commend this reply by Polyphony. I have been exasperated by the mixed messages in the churches since about 1965 and my family members have gone through the mill especially on my Mum’s side, and I have a touch of autism.

God plants those of us with a keen “nose” for His purposes, like canaries! We aren’t all supposed to be carbon copies of each other.

He writes straight with crooked lines.

Priests are there for specific sacramental purposes, not to solve all problems. May enough lay people be there for you as well!

Keep doing little bits of good, in your job and in family caring, a few minutes or an hour at a time.

Our Father said for you and Polyphony and both families!
 
So if it wrong of me to be mad at God, then what is the appropriate relationship to have with Him?

King and servant? Father and child? Friend?

I ask because if it is wrong to look at God as a friend, then I can adjust my expectations. As some of us know, friends don’t always see eye to eye, but if the friendship is true, you may argue or have disagreements, but in the end you always reconcile. If that is the wrong approach to God, please let me know.
 
Mr_Lonely said:
So if it wrong of me to be mad at God, then what is the appropriate relationship to have with Him?

King and servant? Father and child? Friend?

I ask because if it is wrong to look at God as a friend, then I can adjust my expectations. As some of us know, friends don’t always see eye to eye, but if the friendship is true, you may argue or have disagreements, but in the end you always reconcile. If that is the wrong approach to God, please let me know.
Click to expand...
If you were a 20yr old farmer with no formal education and your friend is a physicist and tells you of gravity, perhaps you do not want to believe him or “not see eye to eye” this would in this case be foolish and not make your view valid other than vanity or pride that will not change truth. While with humans we see fallibility, there is non with God. So if God says or does X, not seeing eye to eye would be more foolish than arguing against gravity with a physicist as a sub laymen in the field.

He is ruler true, but friend and while you may give obedience, it is ironically both the highest form of obedience and the least form of servitude in the sense of subjugation. The relationship is truly unique and human examples can draw comparison, but the true form is God and creation not conformed to any others.

To attempt to put it in a human-esque term… if you had a friend who was a doctor, physicist, lawyer, accountant, biologist, and every other “ist” possible and you trusted him completely to never do that which is wrong or evil… would you not by default resemble his servant? Would his advice on anything not be heeded? So much so that if he said “jump” you’d say “how high” not as a slave, not out of fear, but because you would know that truly when this friend says “jump” it carries with it the greatest and most potently possitive thing you could do? But all the while this friend knowing that he is right but you are ignorant will allow you to not jump if you choose to not trust him and to buck against his advice.
 
We should look at God as love, and at His will as mercy.

That can be hard when we experience pain, because we think that pain is something that God should never permit us to experience.

But unlike the world, we know that God permits evils to occur because He brings greater good out of them, and we see how this is true in the lives of the Saints.

Those who strive to adjust their own wills to His are given the greatest consolations, in this world and in the next. Consolations that deepen the graces in their souls, so that they can even begin to see the value of uniting their pain to Christ’s, and the nature of the mystery of the manifold graces that they call down upon this wretched world.

We are always tempted to think selfishly of our own pain, because the enemy knows how dangerous we are when we turn to God and to His will in the midst of suffering. We are dangerous because we steal souls from the evil one, and we stay the hand of justice so as to reveal the depth of God’s mercy.

Turn to Him in trust, and you will never falter, and you will console Him, and you will carry His cross with Him.

From St. Therese’s poetry:

To live of love, ’tis not to fix one’s tent
On Tabor’s height and there with Thee remain.
‘Tis to climb Calvary with strength nigh spent,
And count Thy heavy cross our truest gain.
 
fred_conty said:
I’m sorry to hear you were abused as a child for that can be very painful and hard to deal with. However it can be handled in two ways: never letting go, and letting go of it.

…
Click to expand...
We handle it when we are confident in our trauma narrative, not when someone else claims to be so.

Mr L’s concerns are for his current nuclear family.
 
Mr_Lonely said:
So if it wrong of me to be mad at God, then what is the appropriate relationship to have with Him?

King and servant? Father and child? Friend?

I ask because if it is wrong to look at God as a friend, then I can adjust my expectations. As some of us know, friends don’t always see eye to eye, but if the friendship is true, you may argue or have disagreements, but in the end you always reconcile. If that is the wrong approach to God, please let me know.
Click to expand...
But it isn’t wrong to be mad at Him. I’m not keen on seeing posts that seem to imply you’re the least bit in the wrong (unless I’ve missed something). Precisely because He is all those things, it is right to argue with Him. The Old Testament writers (1,000+ pages) show us how.

Polyphony, Mr L’s concerns are for his current nuclear family.

Our Father said for you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top