Major Problem

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ironman62292 said:
Yes it’s all true, except for the sexual stuff. I think it was my mistake in the first place to allow that to occur. Maybe it’s possible to be with her still and go onto see what the seminary is like? Oh, who am I kidding. I can’t ask her to wait for me while I make up my mind. I don’t want to get back together with her and secretly discern a vocation to priesthood and go through all this again.

I’ve begun to try and forget about the other girl and focus on just be strictly friends with her.
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Sometimes letting go is the highest form of love. :cool:
 
ironman62292 said:
Yes it’s all true, except for the sexual stuff. I think it was my mistake in the first place to allow that to occur. Maybe it’s possible to be with her still and go onto see what the seminary is like? Oh, who am I kidding. I can’t ask her to wait for me while I make up my mind. I don’t want to get back together with her and secretly discern a vocation to priesthood and go through all this again.

I’ve begun to try and forget about the other girl and focus on just be strictly friends with her.
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I am very glad that you haven’t gone as far as being intimate with your girlfriend. She may be emotionally upset right now, but believe me, it would be much, MUCH worse had you already joined with her in that way.

So are you saying that you DID tell her about the other girl? If so, it’s really over with her, you should let her go, leave her alone now. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT start moving toward the other girl! First, go talk to your priest. Tell him that you may feel a call to a vocation. Ask him what your next step ought to be. In the meantime, do NOT get involved with another girl!!! And apologize to your current girlfriend, nicely, but don’t keep her hanging on until you figure this out. She deserves more than that. And so does the other girl.

I really hope you aren’t playing the game of pretending to want to be a priest in order to cool things off with your current girlfriend.
 
ironman62292 said:
Im 19 in college and have been with my girlfriend for about 2 1/2 years. Weve been through everything together. She is a faithful person who loves God and her family. I’ve never met such a wonderful person. I love her so much and she loves me.
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Take it easy, pray, and take some time to sort through your thoughts. However, I separated the first sentence in your post. Read it and then read it over again—if it is true, you may have just answered your own question.

If you can’t imagine your life without her, then SHE just might be your vocation. Don’t worry about getting bored–long-term relationships can get boring sometimes (I’ve been married for six years). They take a lot of work. Now, true, you may have found someone else that you like. To tell you the truth, your young and not married to your girlfriend, so that doesn’t mean you should take a good look and make sure you are doing the right thing. But read that first sentence again.
 
I talked with my priest yesterday. I told him how close we are together and I told him about the gentle nudge I feel. He suggested I enter the seminary. He told me that it’s an entirely different level of discernment in the seminary than alone by myself. He told me its worth a try to see if this is Gods will. I feel like I should go, to discern. I feel it would be my final test to determine whether or not I have a call.

As for this other girl, my min not even on her anymore. I keep thinking about my girlfriend. I think about all our pictures, all the music, the rocks we picked up from the beach, the stuffed puppy I got her, everything reminds me of her. We talked last night and I cried like a baby. I really don’t want to leave her, but I have to give this a shot, I just have to see for myself so that I may never have any regret.

Do you think that if the seminary is not for me and I come back home, if it was Gods will in the first place that my girlfriend and I be together, then do you think we will be together again if it’s Gods will?
 
ironman62292 said:
Do you think that if the seminary is not for me and I come back home, if it was Gods will in the first place that my girlfriend and I be together, then do you think we will be together again if it’s Gods will?
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It is possible that God plans for you guys to be together, but in honestly I think the chances for that are slim. I know, as a woman, if a guy broke up with me to go and discern, I would probably move on with my life. You have to realize the possibility that by the time you are done discerning, she may not be there waiting for you (and you shouldn’t expect her to, that isn’t fair). It might not be the most pleasant of thoughts, but if it turns out you are not meant for the priesthood and you are meant for marriage, it probably won’t be with her. You are only 19 and you do a lot of growing up and finding out what you want out of life in the next few years.
 
ironman62292 said:
I talked with my priest yesterday. I told him how close we are together and I told him about the gentle nudge I feel. He suggested I enter the seminary. He told me that it’s an entirely different level of discernment in the seminary than alone by myself. He told me its worth a try to see if this is Gods will. I feel like I should go, to discern. I feel it would be my final test to determine whether or not I have a call.

As for this other girl, my min not even on her anymore. I keep thinking about my girlfriend. I think about all our pictures, all the music, the rocks we picked up from the beach, the stuffed puppy I got her, everything reminds me of her. We talked last night and I cried like a baby. I really don’t want to leave her, but I have to give this a shot, I just have to see for myself so that I may never have any regret.

Do you think that if the seminary is not for me and I come back home, if it was Gods will in the first place that my girlfriend and I be together, then do you think we will be together again if it’s Gods will?
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I know that this is all very difficult. Many of us who are in the Seminary, are Religious or Priests have a similar experience to what you are experiencing right now. But also know that it is okay to enter the seminary and discover that this live is not for you. You are always free to leave.

Also, I’m worried about what you said earlier. You said that “you didn’t trust other guys with her”. This seems odd. I would suggest considering why you phrased things that way. What you are really saying is that you are afraid that if you aren’t around then you might lose her because you don’t trust her with other guys (remember it takes two to tango). Reflect on how possessive this is: how possessive you are being toward your girlfriend. Such a disposition is not very healthy. I would even go so far as to suggest that even if you don’t go to the Seminary that you should spend some time apart so that you can escape this very dangerous disposition.
 
ironman62292 said:
I just don’t know what to do. Everything is falling apart. My girlfriend can’t stop crying. She’s suffering so much because of me, it’s beginning to effect her physically. Please pray for me, I beg you all. I can’t stand to see her this way. I can’t stand to let her go.
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From a woman who has had her heart broken a time or two, I can attest that the heartache is intense for a short period of time. Now I am thankful that my previous boyfriends had the wisdom to recognize that we weren’t right for each other and had the courage to move on when they did, even when I wasn’t in agreement.

Staying in a relationship that you’re not 100% ready for just to avoid that temporary heartache will hurt her more in the long run.
 
ironman62292 said:
I talked with my priest yesterday. I told him how close we are together and I told him about the gentle nudge I feel. He suggested I enter the seminary. He told me that it’s an entirely different level of discernment in the seminary than alone by myself. He told me its worth a try to see if this is Gods will. I feel like I should go, to discern. I feel it would be my final test to determine whether or not I have a call.

As for this other girl, my min not even on her anymore. I keep thinking about my girlfriend. I think about all our pictures, all the music, the rocks we picked up from the beach, the stuffed puppy I got her, everything reminds me of her. We talked last night and I cried like a baby. I really don’t want to leave her, but I have to give this a shot, I just have to see for myself so that I may never have any regret.

Do you think that if the seminary is not for me and I come back home, if it was Gods will in the first place that my girlfriend and I be together, then do you think we will be together again if it’s Gods will?
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I am glad you talked to your priest. When could you enroll in the seminary? What do you need to do in the meantime? Do you have a timeline and a plan?

I don’t have any help for your heartache. Even if it’s your call that causes the break-up it still hurts the same. I will keep you in my prayers. If you were my son, I would have advised you not to get so exclusive with this girl in the first place because you were not ready for marriage in any case. But it’s too late for that now. You are where you are. It’s going to hurt, and you will miss her. Let her go on with her life. If God wills you to be together, things will work out that way. I was apart from my now-husband for 4-5 years and he ran into my best friend downtown about a week before I was to leave the state. We met for dinner and got back together. We had a few ups and downs in between, but eventually we did get married.

May God give you peace. Thanks for letting us help you sort this out.
 
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