Making a big mistake after my "second conversion" - How do I recover? :(

[28562]

Anyway - I hope you always know that The Church is not a Hotel for Saints but a Hospital for Sinners. You fell. You get back up and keep trying.

Best line on the thread!

 

[jsaldar]

Christ will forgive you if you truly repent of your sins. He will forgive you every time you sin (if you are truly sorry).

Don’t be ashamed. I have been in that situation and I am recovering. I am a man 25, and I too decided to live a life of sin to “fit in”. College is tough, too much peer pressure and not to mention the stress of the studying

I even gave in to sexual sin with a Muslim even after she insulted Christ, I turned a blind eye and pretended not to hear anything. I fell for herand guess what…?? After so much repeated sin, I asked myself. Why am I doing this? I’m hurting myself and even worse Our Lord.

I then repented and broke up, and went to confession with the resolution of not committing mortal sins anymore. I got a good Roman Catholic and devout girl friend now!!.
I have repented and I know that Our Lord has forgiven me, because he promises to forgive us.

You are young and bound to make many mistakes, not only that but you are human like anybody else. Trust me have faith in Christ and he will guide your life in the right path. All you have to do is admit that you are a sinner and repent. Put your trust in Him and He will make things right.

When you are about to sin, just take out your bible and read a passage or two. This always helps me… Notice I said helps… not helped… We are always under attack of temptations. What counts is not giving in to the temptations. Hence, why you need to focus on God when you are about to give into temptation. If it is dark, you can’t read the bible so pray the rosary. Especially at night when you are at your weakest.

God Bless You and remember don’t give up. If you fall Christ is there to pick you up by the hand. Just learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others.

 

[stina2bina]

Wow, what I love about these forums is you get so many answers from so many people who really care Thank you! I really appreciate all the kind words of support and I feel a lot better.

To address the “Is this rape” debate, I am hesitate to call it rape, mainly because I want to take responsibility for my actions. That being said, I am a little offended being compared to Adam blaming Eve. I can assure you, I was (drunkenly) trying to get him to slow down. We did not have sex. Luckily, my incredibly intoxicated mind managed to push him away whenever he tried.

That being said, of the other sinful acts, one in particular he kept trying, I kept telling him very blatantly “No”, and he didn’t listen at all. Eventually, I think partly because I was sick of fighting him off, and maybe also because more alcohol kicked in, I just gave in and let him have what he wanted. From that point on, I guess I figured what’s done is done, and the main reason I feel guilty is because although he in a way forced himself on me, I took part afterwards.

I’m actually not sure how much “consent” was there really, but it was my fault for drinking so much. He’s obviously a complete jerk, and I can assure you all, I will avoid him like the plague and never EVER be intimate with him again.

 

[LSK]

GOOD FOR YOU. And I am very serious about the alcohol thing, sweetheart. Many a woman has been blamed for things that happened to her when she is drunk and the bottom line is, legally, one canNOT give consent for ANYTHING when one is drunk.

And if, just if (mind you) there is a chance that you find yourself having more of these types of problems when you are drinking alcohol despite your desire to drink without getting drunk then the right thing to do is to not drink alcohol. And if you decide to do that and find you cannot NOT drink alcohol, look at the possibility that you have a problem with that particular drug and get whatever help you need (spiritual and medical) to deal with that problem.

No judgement here, my girl…we have been there and back and bought the tee shirts…

 

[LSK]

Good for you!!!

 

[LSK]

And hang in there…you are not alone.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Wow, what I love about these forums is you get so many answers from so many people who really care Thank you! I really appreciate all the kind words of support and I feel a lot better.

To address the “Is this rape” debate, I am hesitate to call it rape, mainly because I want to take responsibility for my actions. That being said, I am a little offended being compared to Adam blaming Eve. I can assure you, I was (drunkenly) trying to get him to slow down. We did not have sex. Luckily, my incredibly intoxicated mind managed to push him away whenever he tried.

That being said, of the other sinful acts, one in particular he kept trying, I kept telling him very blatantly “No”, and he didn’t listen at all. Eventually, I think partly because I was sick of fighting him off, and maybe also because more alcohol kicked in, I just gave in and let him have what he wanted. From that point on, I guess I figured what’s done is done, and the main reason I feel guilty is because although he in a way forced himself on me, I took part afterwards.

I’m actually not sure how much “consent” was there really, but it was my fault for drinking so much. He’s obviously a complete jerk, and I can assure you all, I will avoid him like the plague and never EVER be intimate with him again.

Lady:
I am going to tell one secret that you already know.
To call it a rape is to call you an irresponsible person, a child, a person who has no will and no thought. My view, I can be wrong. But what i came for is not about the past but about the future.
Men think in sex 90 % of the time. Well, maybe a bit less: 89%.
If a man offers you a flower, what is he thinking? Sex.
If a man offers you dinner, what is he thinking? Sex.
If a man offers you a Ferrari, what is he thinking? Sex
If a man offers you lift, what is he thinking? Sex.
If a man offers you nice words, soft music, what is he thinking? Sex.
If a man offers you promises, promises and promises, what is he thinking? Sex.

If with harmless thing it is what it is, with alcohol, Lady, it is a mess. Maybe the guy was also raped for he would be completely drunk.
Man, through evolution, like many animals which are polygamous, is geared to spread his DNA to as much as possible females possibilities of creating replications of him, photocopies of him, so when he dies, some one will replace him.
The woman is always sure that the baby is hers. The man, no. so he takes no chances and (tries) to spread his DNA so that his chances os survival are greater.

It is up to the woman to choose the partner. so, she must he careful.

Oh! But there are some animals who are monogamous above all some birds: ducks, albatrosses penguins. They are monogamous by nature and there is no adultery among them.

Lucky them !

 

[LSK]

I have no idea what the above poster means when he or she states that maybe the man was raped too because he was also drinking. If he was being coerced into do something sexual, then yes…he would be the victim of a sexual assault or (possibly) a rape. If, however, he was doing the PRESSURING then he was NOT a victim of either one.

The fact that a man may think about sex all the time is absolutely NO excuse for immoral or sinful behavior. Males are children of God, created in His Image and should be held to a standard that requires them to behave as such and not given a wink or a nod when they do not. If they are horribly subject to sin, as St Paul described himself, then they have an obligation to keep their eyes and hands to themselves and their minds lifted in prayer, just as women have an obligation to dress and behave with modesty and love of God firmly in their minds.

In the US, with variations from state to state, if a person is drunk or drugged they cannot give consent for sexual activity. Period. If we do not like that we can work within the system to change the law but right now, as it stands, anyone who is drunk or drugged - whether they got drunk or got high on their own volition or not - cannot give consent for sexual activity and that elevates the situation to a criminal offense. If someone engages in a criminal activity is also drunk or drugged they may have an affirmative defense however they are still in danger of being charged with sexual assault or rape.

I think it is absolutely fabulous that this young woman has taken responsibility for drinking too much that night. Most people would not do so; however, she is NOT responsible for this young man’s immorality. He could have behaved like a child of God. He chose not to and for that he should be held accountable.

The two boys I raised have been raised with this standard. They are firmly aware that if they end up in this situation I will love them but I will expect them to accept full responsibility for acting like immoral bores.

But what do I know?

 

[StevenFrancis]

Something’s completely eating me up, and I’m not sure how to approach it at all. For context: I am a 21 year old college student at an incredibly secular school. I was raised Catholic and go to Mass every Sunday. About 2 years ago, I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. To increase my self-esteem, I turned to sinful behaviour, mainly casually dating/kissing non-Catholic men and being more intimate than I should with them (I was one of those “Well, as long as we’re not having sex…” types). About 3 months ago, I had what I believe to be a second conversion. I decided I felt used, hurt and that it was time to respect myself the way God intended me to be respected. I realized that the things of this world are not what will properly fill that void.

So for the past few months, I went to confession for the first time in 2 years, I spent a bunch of time with a Catholic group at my college, completely gave up binge drinking and masturbation, and overall things were looking great! I was telling all my friends (Catholic and non) that I was ready to live out my values properly and was pumped to do so. I was even asked to speak at a Catholic event and am supposed to lead a Bible study in a few weeks.

Well a few nights ago, it all unravelled. It was a friend’s birthday, I had a couple glasses of wine, and this guy who I know was interested in me, kept re-filling my glass (occasionally when I wasn’t looking) and I got drunk. He then proceeded to take advantage of me, pressuring me into things. I tried resisting but he kept pushing and eventually, I guess because I was drunk and technically had done this before, I fell back into my old sinful behaviour. I know he was wrong for taking advantage of me, but it was my fault for getting that drunk in the first place. I woke up the next morning confused and unbelievably embarrassed. I thought I had changed and now I’m concerned I’m a hopeless cause

I am now heartbroken because I’m concerned my second conversion wasn’t “real”. I have several friends who decided enough was enough and are now leaders in the Catholic community and they never made big mistakes like this afterwards. Maybe I was just kidding myself thinking I had “changed”. I am also concerned because I’ve realized I want a good Catholic husband one day and I’m worried none will want someone like me, who has such a past, and has sinned so badly even after claiming a second conversion. I feel like a fraud.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Any prayers you think would help? I will obviously go to confession soon, but what other steps can I take to turn around so I won’t keep “changing”, only to sin again.

Please keep me in your prayers!

I’ll certainly pray for you, but really, you don’t have to give up your entire faith because of a fall. You goofed up. God has so much mercy for this, that he died for you. He left us a Church, and Sacraments. You can go to confession, with contrition of heart, perform your penance with sincerity, then go to mass, and accept the loving, healing grace of the Word of God, and the most Holy Eucharist. This process can restore your relationship with the body of Christ, and you can move on. Clean, free, and a little bit wiser about yourself, and your near occasions of sin to avoid. This is our faith. This can be repeated 7 times 70 times. (Just meaning a huge number). God’s mercy is unfathomable. Please don’t let your pride step in the way of getting right back to the confessional. Avail yourself of the sacraments frequently, and I just about promise your life will change. Try spending some time each week in front of the blessed sacrament as well. This has been life changing for me.

May God bless and keep you,

Steven

For Stina2bina:

Ave Maria, gratia plena,
dominus tecum.
Benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesu

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei,
Ora pro nobis peccatoribus nunc,
et in hora mortis nostrae,
Amen

 

[Nils]

Something’s completely eating me up, and I’m not sure how to approach it at all. For context: I am a 21 year old college student at an incredibly secular school. I was raised Catholic and go to Mass every Sunday. About 2 years ago, I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. To increase my self-esteem, I turned to sinful behaviour, mainly casually dating/kissing non-Catholic men and being more intimate than I should with them (I was one of those “Well, as long as we’re not having sex…” types). About 3 months ago, I had what I believe to be a second conversion. I decided I felt used, hurt and that it was time to respect myself the way God intended me to be respected. I realized that the things of this world are not what will properly fill that void.

So for the past few months, I went to confession for the first time in 2 years, I spent a bunch of time with a Catholic group at my college, completely gave up binge drinking and masturbation, and overall things were looking great! I was telling all my friends (Catholic and non) that I was ready to live out my values properly and was pumped to do so. I was even asked to speak at a Catholic event and am supposed to lead a Bible study in a few weeks.

Well a few nights ago, it all unravelled. It was a friend’s birthday, I had a couple glasses of wine, and this guy who I know was interested in me, kept re-filling my glass (occasionally when I wasn’t looking) and I got drunk. He then proceeded to take advantage of me, pressuring me into things. I tried resisting but he kept pushing and eventually, I guess because I was drunk and technically had done this before, I fell back into my old sinful behaviour. I know he was wrong for taking advantage of me, but it was my fault for getting that drunk in the first place. I woke up the next morning confused and unbelievably embarrassed. I thought I had changed and now I’m concerned I’m a hopeless cause

I am now heartbroken because I’m concerned my second conversion wasn’t “real”. I have several friends who decided enough was enough and are now leaders in the Catholic community and they never made big mistakes like this afterwards. Maybe I was just kidding myself thinking I had “changed”. I am also concerned because I’ve realized I want a good Catholic husband one day and I’m worried none will want someone like me, who has such a past, and has sinned so badly even after claiming a second conversion. I feel like a fraud.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Any prayers you think would help? I will obviously go to confession soon, but what other steps can I take to turn around so I won’t keep “changing”, only to sin again.

Please keep me in your prayers!

I am not a spiritual director, but I will try to give you some advice anyway. Take them for what they are:

Do not worry, never despair after sinning! Just go to confession! Many saints have done far worse sins then you have.

It sounds as if you are just as hurt from ruining your image of your self as you are from hurting Christ. If this is the case (only you know), ask your self why. I have suffered from the same thing and I gained a lot from this insight…

Also, if you have problems with purity, try not to focus too much on it. Of course you should try to stay chaste, but if we obsess about these things it only gets worse. At least that is what my confessor tells me. Try to focus just as much on charity towards the poor, on prayer and mortifications etc.

I am a “good Catholic man” and I would rather date someone who has done mistakes and repented then someone who did not make any obvious ones but who was full of herself. I am sure you will find someone when you are ready! But you are still young, use this time to focus on your studies and growing in virtue…

And finally: Find a real spiritual director whom you can trust and later obey as if he or she is Christ Himself, it is better then Internet forums!

I have prayed for you!

Your brother in Christ,
Nils Pontus Anders Immanuel-Maria

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I have no idea what the above poster means when he or she states that maybe the man was raped too because he was also drinking. If he was being coerced into do something sexual, then yes…he would be the victim of a sexual assault or (possibly) a rape. If, however, he was doing the PRESSURING then he was NOT a victim of either one.

The fact that a man may think about sex all the time is absolutely NO excuse for immoral or sinful behavior. Males are children of God, created in His Image and should be held to a standard that requires them to behave as such and not given a wink or a nod when they do not. If they are horribly subject to sin, as St Paul described himself, then they have an obligation to keep their eyes and hands to themselves and their minds lifted in prayer, just as women have an obligation to dress and behave with modesty and love of God firmly in their minds.

In the US, with variations from state to state, if a person is drunk or drugged they cannot give consent for sexual activity. Period. If we do not like that we can work within the system to change the law but right now, as it stands, anyone who is drunk or drugged - whether they got drunk or got high on their own volition or not - cannot give consent for sexual activity and that elevates the situation to a criminal offense. If someone engages in a criminal activity is also drunk or drugged they may have an affirmative defense however they are still in danger of being charged with sexual assault or rape.

I think it is absolutely fabulous that this young woman has taken responsibility for drinking too much that night. Most people would not do so; however, she is NOT responsible for this young man’s immorality. He could have behaved like a child of God. He chose not to and for that he should be held accountable.

The two boys I raised have been raised with this standard. They are firmly aware that if they end up in this situation I will love them but I will expect them to accept full responsibility for acting like immoral bores.

But what do I know?

Of course that I was trying to convey serious things in a funny matter.
After all, maybe it was not so funny…
I was not seriously saying that the boy was raped, only that in a very, very, very vague manner he was completely drunk MAYBE and was attracted to her and that was rape. Of course this is so, so, so much out of reality that I hope it may sound incredible…

Just to say, when you have alcohol in the blood, assuming responsibilities for acts is difficult, nothing more.

In NO WAY AT ALL I was trying to put guilt into the lady’s hands, no way.

Repeating, just to say that to avoid alcohol is the best in parties for whatever happens is outside your control.

In Mediterranean countries, it is the parents who teach teens how to drink, wine, slowly, with food and never with an empty stomach and so on.

Now, parties are not the best way to learn how to drink.

Sorry if my post mislead someone.

 

[LSK]

Apology accepted. It is difficult to understand tone of voice when posting online. My experience has been that rape and/or sexual assault is not a subject of humor. Too many young men in the US have found themselves on the receiving end of a criminal charge because they thought it would be ok to force themselves on a woman (or another man) if they are BOTH drunk, that somehow imbibing in alcohol which lower the inhibitions makes being ‘persuasive’ ok. And too many young women (and men) have made the bad decision to drink too much at a party and then felt somehow they were responsible for another person’s immoral behavior.

I agree we need to teach our young how to be responsible when it comes to alcohol.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Apology accepted. It is difficult to understand tone of voice when posting online. My experience has been that rape and/or sexual assault is not a subject of humor. Too many young men in the US have found themselves on the receiving end of a criminal charge because they thought it would be ok to force themselves on a woman (or another man) if they are BOTH drunk, that somehow imbibing in alcohol which lower the inhibitions makes being ‘persuasive’ ok. And too many young women (and men) have made the bad decision to drink too much at a party and then felt somehow they were responsible for another person’s immoral behavior.

I agree we need to teach our young how to be responsible when it comes to alcohol.

In literature, humor on hard things like sex and death is called euphemism. You say things in a light way, not necessarily to joke about it, because things are hard.

What I was trying to convey is that, like in assault, where most of the time it is the woman that is killed or hurt, we cannot see the women as the good ones and men the bad ones.

The question is complex and it would lead far away, so I will not go further for it needed a deep and complex reflection.

 

[Apologista]

I would add only one more bit of advice to what others have already said - make sure you have a group of good Catholic friends to hang out with. This friend who had the birthday, if you have a deep and trusting friendship, can you clue her in as to what happened with this wolf? If she’s a decent person, she should think twice about inviting him to her next party - if it’s not you he will pick another target. Also, it would be prudent for there to be people who are “designated” to stay sober and not let things get out of hand if possible - this would cut down on potential legal problems arising.

And if she gets defensive with you for mentioning these implications, maybe it’s time to spend less time with her.

 

[jmcrae]

Something’s completely eating me up, and I’m not sure how to approach it at all. For context: I am a 21 year old college student at an incredibly secular school. I was raised Catholic and go to Mass every Sunday. About 2 years ago, I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. To increase my self-esteem, I turned to sinful behaviour, mainly casually dating/kissing non-Catholic men and being more intimate than I should with them (I was one of those “Well, as long as we’re not having sex…” types). About 3 months ago, I had what I believe to be a second conversion. I decided I felt used, hurt and that it was time to respect myself the way God intended me to be respected. I realized that the things of this world are not what will properly fill that void.

So for the past few months, I went to confession for the first time in 2 years, I spent a bunch of time with a Catholic group at my college, completely gave up binge drinking and masturbation, and overall things were looking great! I was telling all my friends (Catholic and non) that I was ready to live out my values properly and was pumped to do so. I was even asked to speak at a Catholic event and am supposed to lead a Bible study in a few weeks.

Well a few nights ago, it all unravelled. It was a friend’s birthday, I had a couple glasses of wine, and this guy who I know was interested in me, kept re-filling my glass (occasionally when I wasn’t looking) and I got drunk. He then proceeded to take advantage of me, pressuring me into things. I tried resisting but he kept pushing and eventually, I guess because I was drunk and technically had done this before, I fell back into my old sinful behaviour. I know he was wrong for taking advantage of me, but it was my fault for getting that drunk in the first place. I woke up the next morning confused and unbelievably embarrassed. I thought I had changed and now I’m concerned I’m a hopeless cause

I am now heartbroken because I’m concerned my second conversion wasn’t “real”. I have several friends who decided enough was enough and are now leaders in the Catholic community and they never made big mistakes like this afterwards. Maybe I was just kidding myself thinking I had “changed”. I am also concerned because I’ve realized I want a good Catholic husband one day and I’m worried none will want someone like me, who has such a past, and has sinned so badly even after claiming a second conversion. I feel like a fraud.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Any prayers you think would help? I will obviously go to confession soon, but what other steps can I take to turn around so I won’t keep “changing”, only to sin again.

Please keep me in your prayers!

Bad habits are really hard to break even when nobody else knows about them, but when you’ve gotten yourself a reputation, and people are out there wanting to take advantage of you, it’s even more difficult.

1. Don’t believe anybody who claims they broke a seriously bad habit on the first try. Nobody has ever done that. It takes time and tears and lots of getting up out of the dust, lots of trips to the Confessional, and lots and lots and lots of humility to say, “I’m not perfect. I’m not even close. But I’m giving it my best try.”
2. Don’t beat yourself up about something you can’t change. The only reason to revisit the situation is to figure out what went wrong, and create a strategy to avoid the same thing happening again.
3. Something different will happen the next time - and again, don’t beat yourself up, but just keep refining your strategy until you get there. The only failure is to give up trying. It takes time, and you will fall from time to time, but don’t give up on yourself. You’re worth the effort; just keep on believing that.
4. Don’t let anyone talk you into doing something you don’t want to do. You can say, “I am sometimes that kind of girl, but today I don’t want to be. Today, at this moment, I am chaste. Today, at this moment, I am sober.”
5. When your mother told you to eat and drink what is set before you, she was talking about the beautiful supper that she made for you - not the drinks that someone keeps pouring for you. You are allowed to look at this wine glass that can’t seem to get empty and say, “You know what? I’ve had enough.” and you can throw it down the sink in the kitchen., and wash and put the glass away. I have thrown out glasses of wine and liquor, or left them on the table, and nobody ever said anything to me - I would just say, “I seem to have taken more than I really wanted,” and people were fine with it.

 

[stina2bina]

Again, thank you for all the insights everyone!

Just to address a few of the additional comments, and to provide a bit of an update, I confided in 3 of my friends (one of which had been violently raped before) every detail about what had happened that night. Again, I in no way want to point fingers and avoid responsibility from the mistakes I made in the situation, but it was the first time I’ve been intimate with a guy where I can say he couldn’t care less about me as a person. I felt guilty, but a lot of aspects of that night seemed so wrong and dark to me, so I thought I should talk to someone.

They ALL think there isn’t a question about it, and I was sexually assaulted, which again, I’m still hesitant to say for various reasons. They say this based on several things, mainly that one overheard they guy say to a friend that I was his “target for the night” (at which point I hadn’t had anything to drink, so they assumed nothing would happen), the fact that he (apparently, I found out later), was 100% SOBER, and the fact that when, I told him at least 3-4 times not to do something, and he forced himself unto me and did it anyway.

One of the friends I talked things out with was the host of the party, and she was just about ready to kill the guy, and started to think of ways to either report him, or at least have a very stern talk with him. As I mentioned, apparently he was completely SOBER and had planned on trying to take advantage of me the whole night. I had to calm her down a bit, but rest assured, she’s a good friend.

So for the past few days I’ve found myself in an annoying situation mentally, because I’ve got pamphlets/friends telling me that it’s important for me to understand that “It was not my fault”, yet my Catholic conscience that understands that I must take responsibility for whatever I did poorly in the situation. It hurts my brain a bit, trying to sort out responsibility, not gonna lie This whole situtation has taken a large toll on me mentally and emotionally

My grandma passed away this past week, so I’ve been travelling home and haven’t had a chance to go to confession, but I think I will this week. And from now on I’m limiting myself to a 2-drink maximum Again, thank you for the help everyone!

 

[stina2bina]

I have no idea what the above poster means when he or she states that maybe the man was raped too because he was also drinking. If he was being coerced into do something sexual, then yes…he would be the victim of a sexual assault or (possibly) a rape. If, however, he was doing the PRESSURING then he was NOT a victim of either one.

The fact that a man may think about sex all the time is absolutely NO excuse for immoral or sinful behavior. Males are children of God, created in His Image and should be held to a standard that requires them to behave as such and not given a wink or a nod when they do not. If they are horribly subject to sin, as St Paul described himself, then they have an obligation to keep their eyes and hands to themselves and their minds lifted in prayer, just as women have an obligation to dress and behave with modesty and love of God firmly in their minds.

In the US, with variations from state to state, if a person is drunk or drugged they cannot give consent for sexual activity. Period. If we do not like that we can work within the system to change the law but right now, as it stands, anyone who is drunk or drugged - whether they got drunk or got high on their own volition or not - cannot give consent for sexual activity and that elevates the situation to a criminal offense. If someone engages in a criminal activity is also drunk or drugged they may have an affirmative defense however they are still in danger of being charged with sexual assault or rape.

I think it is absolutely fabulous that this young woman has taken responsibility for drinking too much that night. Most people would not do so; however, she is NOT responsible for this young man’s immorality. He could have behaved like a child of God. He chose not to and for that he should be held accountable.

The two boys I raised have been raised with this standard. They are firmly aware that if they end up in this situation I will love them but I will expect them to accept full responsibility for acting like immoral bores.

But what do I know?

And I want to add a special thank you to you, LSK All your comments have been incredibly supportive and encouraging, and I hope you realize how much I’ve appreciated them.

 

[eknight]

Stina, something very similar happened with me (my borderline devastation is what lead me to your post). I want to thank you for your honesty and everyone else here for their answers, because this thread has been very beneficial to me. I can now dust myself and get back up from my stumble.

(I found a nearby parish where my Confession can be heard tomorrow, and I look forward to it immensely. What a precious gift the Sacrament is!)

Thanks again, and God bless you all.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Stina, something very similar happened with me (my borderline devastation is what lead me to your post). I want to thank you for your honesty and everyone else here for their answers, because this thread has been very beneficial to me. I can now dust myself and get back up from my stumble.

(I found a nearby parish where my Confession can be heard tomorrow, and I look forward to it immensely. What a precious gift the Sacrament is!)

Thanks again, and God bless you all.

God bless you! I am glad you are going to confession today. It is indeed, a wonderful blessing.

 

[Rose71]

The very fact that you have brought your worries here shows you are serious about your faith. Everyone messes up sometimes: just read the Gospels and you will find St. Peter denying Jesus 3 times; St. Paul behaving rather badly before his conversion…

Put what happened at that party right behind you. You have learned a valuable lesson and it sounds as though you have a good bunch of supportive friends. You were immature and insecure and you met an equally immature and insecure young man - and there was alcohol involved!

So what does it all mean? It means you’ve fallen - but had the grace and courage to get up and to examine your own conscience and resolve to keep trying. That’s a sign you are on your way to real wisdom and maturaity one heck of a lot faster than the idiot who got you drunk!

It also means, one day, you’ll be a fantastic mother because you will remember what it was like to be young and uncertain and subjected to peer pressure - but you’ll know that with prayers and loving friends, you made it through