Making love to your husband

[Viki59]

ceceswa:

I’ve made my decision, I won’t be with him when he returns.

You’ve made a good decision. Even if you decide to reconcile and continue with the marriage, it’s better to wait for lovemaking.

I made the wrong decision, and know how hard it is. During my separation from my first husband, he came to visit and was very persuasive, very loving. I’m sure he meant it at the time.
But in the morning, his attitude was different, he said he felt like we really didn’t suit. It was devastating that I was feeling like renewing our marriage, and he had become cold and indifferent.
Also there was a possibility of pregnancy, though it didn’t materialize.

It’s best to make your decision beforehand, when not influenced by your husband’s presence, and stick to it. It won’t hurt him to realize how much he misses you, and show you some respect.

God bless you.

 

[ceceswa]

SemperJase:

Why do men think this way? That’s how God made us and we know God’s creation is good.

In addition, women aren’t really attracted to men who are in touch with their femine side. They also want a provider.

You’re right to an extent most women aren’t attracted to a man in touch with his feminine side, but also after being scorned by one who is not, I would like to find one that doesn’t mind crying once in a great while. I do want a provider and unfortunetely I do find myself attracted to the type of men that I know would hurt me. Any advice on how to find a great man?

 

[Courtneyjo]

Unless your marriage is annulled, it doesn’t do you much good to look for a good man because you can’t remarry. And who knows, miracles happen, you could reconcile with your husband.

Besides, the question you asked is whole other thread!

 

[ceceswa]

Courtneyjo:

Unless your marriage is annulled, it doesn’t do you much good to look for a good man because you can’t remarry. And who knows, miracles happen, you could reconcile with your husband.

Besides, the question you asked is whole other thread!

My priest is going to help me with the annulment. I do know that miracles happen and I am praying for one, I guess I just don’t want to get my hopes up for a reconciliation and be even more upset when one doesn’t happen. My priest told me to wait at least a year before even considering dating. But the whole thought of another man is jumping the gun anyways. I guess it was more of a hypothetical question

 

[SemperJase]

mumto5:

For both of us, without love sex is meaningless.

The difference between men and women is that for men meaningless sex isn’t a reason not to do it. Men can have sex without meaning and it will affect them less than it does a woman.

Not all men are sex obsessed and bent on getting it even if they have to pretend to love for it.

I would say that most men are not sex obsessed and won’t pretend to love for it. Many are honorable and understand the deeper emotional issues involved in intimacy. For that reason they deny their urges and keep them within their marriage.

For my man, love is what gives the desire for sex and intimate sharing. Yes, sex is physically pleasurable, but my man enjoys teh emotional closeness much more.

I just don’t believe this. Men aren’t made this way. I’m not saying he doesn’t have emotions, but that is not the major drive in a man. For a man, sex is just as physically pleasurable without the love. The emotional closeness enhances it, but that is not what drives a man’s sexual desires.

Believe me, I love my wife. I’m have remained faithful to her 8 years of marriage and the 3 of dating before that. My world revolves around providing for her physically and emotionally. Don’t misunderstand me as saying that sex is his only motiviation for doing this. But I guarantee he does not feel the same way about sex as you do.

I realise he’s maybe not your typical male but good ones like this are out there and really do think this way. When I was feeling weak, he was the one who suggested we wait.

Truly he is an honorable man to deny the male sexual nature for future fulfillment. But a temporary denial of sexual urges does not mean he is driven as emotionally as you are or that the emotional closeness found in sex is why he wants it.

The reason I bring this up is that you mention a daughter. You would do her a grave disservice by advising her to look for a man who finds more enjoyment from emotional intimacy than satisfying his physical drives. That is how “but I love you” is so effective for men trying to get a woman into bed.

Dennis Prager has done a series on male sexuality that explains the topic. I highly recommend it for parents who have daughters, especially if they are dating.

This isn’t a men are evil series. It just explains men as they are.

 

[sparkle]

ceceswa:

My husband and I are seperated and plan on getting a divorce. I havn’t seen him in a little over four months. He is scheduled to return here in about six weeks. My question is when he returns are we allowed to make love since we are still husband and wife?

{QUOTE]
I, too, do NOT understand the why’s of your question. Why would you desire to make love with a husband whom you’re getting a divorce from? Your marriage seems to be over. Love-making is the opposite.

God Bless~

 

[dulcissima]

I concur with your priest. I would pray for the strength to not even think about dating again for some time. I think what will happen if you do, is that you will settle for less, for someone that would be completely disasterous to you and to your children. I have seen it happen all to often with women who go from bad husband, to worse, and worse again, until finally they find themselves married to the devil himself. You need to find value in who you are as a person, independent of any man. If you skip that step, you will never find yourself with a man worth having. Take it slow. Try to find the you that God creaeted you to be. Don’t make it your mission to go out and find a new and better husband, instead seek God’s will in your life.

 

[ceceswa]

dulcissima:

I concur with your priest. I would pray for the strength to not even think about dating again for some time. I think what will happen if you do, is that you will settle for less, for someone that would be completely disasterous to you and to your children. I have seen it happen all to often with women who go from bad husband, to worse, and worse again, until finally they find themselves married to the devil himself. You need to find value in who you are as a person, independent of any man. If you skip that step, you will never find yourself with a man worth having. Take it slow. Try to find the you that God creaeted you to be. Don’t make it your mission to go out and find a new and better husband, instead seek God’s will in your life.

I agree with you, I have seen this happen too. I always wondered why someone would jump into a new relationship right after getting out of a bad one. Unfortunetely, now I understand why it is done. The feeling of loneliness is very overwhelming. Especially if you’ve been with the same person for a considerable amount of time. I want a shoulder to cry on and the feeling of having someone love me again. It’s so hard to be the strong independant mother on the outside, when I feel so weak on the inside. I have to do a lot of praying and soul searching so that I can truly feel like the strong independant woman and mother that God wants me to be. Thank you for your advice.