Male Altar Servers

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dca1982

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Hello.

I was just wondering if there is any rule about male altar servers dating a girl? Reason i ask is because my friends brother was removed from his altar server duties from his Pastor because he was dating a girl. My impression is that the Pastor does not want male altar servers to date girls. My friends brother comes from a devout Catholic family, and is devout himself, and has served in this role very faithfully. Does the Pastor have a right to do this? To me it does not seem very prudent. Is there an article or document about altar servers regarding this issue?
 
I have never heard of such a thing. Perhaps there is more involved than what you are aware of. :o
 
I think that it has to do a lot with the purpose of serving at the altar, the age of the altar server, the purpose of dating and what those dates implied from a practical point of view.

I think that the priest probably had good reasons to do so and he has every right to do so. Is there a code of conduct for the altar servers in your parish?
 
dca1982 said:
no. there is not more to the story
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It is not a rule of the Church. It seems as if it is a rule of your pastor and he’s allowed to make rules for his own parish.

Perhaps he thinks young men shouldn’t date at all?
 
dca1982 said:
no. there is not more to the story
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Unless the pastor has discussed this with you personally, which is unlikely, since it is not your situation, then you cannot say that there is no more to the story.
 
SMHW said:
It is not a rule of the Church. It seems as if it is a rule of your pastor and he’s allowed to make rules for his own parish.
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That was my thoughts as well. No lay person has a right to serve at the altar, so if the pastor decided to make such a rule, it is within his right to do so.
 
dca1982 said:
Hello.

I was just wondering if there is any rule about male altar servers dating a girl? Reason i ask is because my friends brother was removed from his altar server duties from his Pastor because he was dating a girl. My impression is that the Pastor does not want male altar servers to date girls. My friends brother comes from a devout Catholic family, and is devout himself, and has served in this role very faithfully. Does the Pastor have a right to do this? To me it does not seem very prudent. Is there an article or document about altar servers regarding this issue?
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since you got this story from a friend’s brother, there might be more to this than what you have as information. Most alter servers are not even old enough to date and usually drop off in high school anyway. This sound fishy and it is easy to pass things on especially on the internet. Just because this is your impression doesn’t mean it is accurate and unless you have full knowledge or were in on what really happen, it would be better to leave it alone and not spread rumors.
 
robwar said:
since you got this story from a friend’s brother, there might be more to this than what you have as information. Most alter servers are not even old enough to date and usually drop off in high school anyway. This sound fishy and it is easy to pass things on especially on the internet. Just because this is your impression doesn’t mean it is accurate and unless you have full knowledge or were in on what really happen, it would be better to leave it alone and not spread rumors.
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Worse than rumors.

This is nothing more than gossip.
 
dca1982 said:
Hello.

I was just wondering if there is any rule about male altar servers dating a girl? Reason i ask is because my friends brother was removed from his altar server duties from his Pastor because he was dating a girl. My impression is that the Pastor does not want male altar servers to date girls. My friends brother comes from a devout Catholic family, and is devout himself, and has served in this role very faithfully. Does the Pastor have a right to do this? To me it does not seem very prudent. Is there an article or document about altar servers regarding this issue?
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This is interesting - and I don’t belive the pastors actions were backed by articles or documentation - but I think I know where he is coming from.

Usually, the altar boy is in the position on the altar to encourage vocations. Being on the altar with the priest is to encourage the young man’s interest in the priesthood. Not that this is the sole purpose, as it is also gives them the opportunity to serve the Church during Mass.

But I know plent of altar boys who date (as they are in late highschool or even college). The priest probably wanted to encourage a priestly vocational calling in the young man and saw dating as a hinderance to vocational discernment.

But to ban the young man from serving just becuase he was dating a girl seems…different, to say the least. I could see there be cause for concern if the young man was in seminary, as he shouldn’t be splitting himself from studying as a priest and dating a young woman. But not if he is just an altar server? I don’t know for sure, just some thoughts.
 
Since I currently have an 18 and 15 year old boys alter serving and they have been involved for a long time, I have a hard time believing any priest removing an alter server for dating. usually there is a crying need for older experienced servers. I doubt that a priest wants to shut the door or remove someone for dating if they were of an older age. In 2 parishes we have been at, they are always asking for alter servers since many start but drop out, especially in the summer.
If someone is faithful, comes on time and does not no show and dresses properly and shows respect, I doubt they would be removed from service, especially over the issue of dating.
 
dca1982 said:
Hello.

I was just wondering if there is any rule about male altar servers dating a girl? Reason i ask is because my friends brother was removed from his altar server duties from his Pastor because he was dating a girl. My impression is that the Pastor does not want male altar servers to date girls. My friends brother comes from a devout Catholic family, and is devout himself, and has served in this role very faithfully. Does the Pastor have a right to do this? To me it does not seem very prudent. Is there an article or document about altar servers regarding this issue?
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I have never heard such a thing. While a priest may do that in his own parish, there is no universal rule about it.
 
malphono said:
Am I the only one who finds this thread a little suspicious? :confused:
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The only two posts (at least so-far) are in this thread?:hmmm:

Even so this thread has been quite civil and the answers stand:


  1. *]When one hears something from just one side of a conflict there is, by definition, more to the story.
    *]A priest has a right to make rules for his parish so long as they don’t conflict with higher level Church law and the rights of the people.
 
The priest may have a rule against all alter servers dating. Or he may have preference for a bottom age (like 16) for a alter server be before they start dating. Or the alter server may have exprested a leaning to the priesthood. 😃 :confused: :gopray:
 
The priest/pastor has the final say in who serves and who don’t. Somoene didn’t like it when I was asked to start serving the other year and the priest put them in their place so to speak. Rightly or wrongly I overheard enough 😦 That priest, though retired and was standing in whilst we got a new priest actually knew more about me than that person thought and I know that for 100% sure! Not that had any relevance to the priest at the time as he has final say at the end of it all.

So I guess we can be chosen as quickly as we can be 'un’chosen though on the whole it don’t happen like that in our parish. All servers have ‘walked’ away through their own accord through them growing up most of the time and other things in life. But our outside conduct bares little to what we do on the Altar, talking from my own experience quite literally there. Its upto the priest.

Is that is public story though because you will never know if there is a private story. I know if the new priest hadn’t wanted me for whatever his reason may be my public story would simply be that I am finding the incense too much which is true but thats all what anyone would ever find out. Now that I serve alternate weeks the incense is manageable but that was all my own choice as I rejoined the choir and he suggested both. We are not about to declare a matter that is private to us though in effect may be of little importance but well. It may be that he was having a personality clash with that priest or the priest with him and its easier for the guy to say about girl friend stuff for he mayn’t even know it in terms of personality clash. Do not like whats being asked of him or the way its asked of him perhaps etc or that priest is choosy about what happens off the Altar.

Its kind of none of our business on the whole
 
SMHW said:
malphono;9869261:
Am I the only one who finds this thread a little suspicious? :confused:
Click to expand...
The only two posts (at least so-far) are in this thread?:hmmm:

Even so this thread has been quite civil and the answers stand:


  1. *]When one hears something from just one side of a conflict there is, by definition, more to the story.
    *]A priest has a right to make rules for his parish so long as they don’t conflict with higher level Church law and the rights of the people.
Click to expand...

  1. Yes, it’s been quite civil, and the two answers cited are fine. But that’s not at all what I meant. My bad, I should have been clearer.

    Anyway, my earlier post should have said “Am I the only one who finds the first post in this thread suspicious?” Maybe not. I dunno. could be just me today. 🤷 :confused:
 
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