Male involvement in the Church

[Havard]

Hola amigos. I have a few questions for everyone:

1. If you’re a man, how are you involved in your parish and local Catholic community? If you’re a woman, how are the men in your life involved?
2. In addition to Mass attendance (bare minimum), what particular ministries or Catholic groups/organizations would you like to see more male involvement in?
3. Expanding on the above, what opportunities for men are simply lacking in your area? Do you have any ideas for new ministries?
4. Do you have any suggestions for improving the male-oriented groups that currently exist (parish men’s clubs, KofC, etc.)
5. Do you have any suggestions for encouraging or motivating men to get involved?
6. Please add any other points that you think are helpful to this topic.

 

[pensmama87]

Hola amigos. I have a few questions for everyone:

1. If you’re a man, how are you involved in your parish and local Catholic community? If you’re a woman, how are the men in your life involved?

I am a woman. My husband serves as a lector and on our RCIA team (which I also do).

1. In addition to Mass attendance (bare minimum), what particular ministries or Catholic groups/organizations would you like to see more male involvement in?

Actually, my husband (and I, because we are young) were particularly sought for RCIA, but especially my husband because most of the team are women and many of the converts are men, especially young men. I think it’s good for men to see other men who are passionate about the faith.

1. Expanding on the above, what opportunities for men are simply lacking in your area? Do you have any ideas for new ministries?

We have a men’s fellowship group but it only meets very early in the morning, and my husband is not what you would call a “morning person.” There is a young adults group that has a fair number of men in it, but again that’s hard when there are only young children at home. It’s mostly singles who participate in that.

Maybe a ministry for new fathers? There’s stuff for moms (I think we learn pretty quickly, especially if we are SAHMs, that we really crave adult companionship!) but not a lot of stuff for dads until you get to school-age years and you get to know the other parents of the kids who do activities with your kids.

1. Do you have any suggestions for improving the male-oriented groups that currently exist (parish men’s clubs, KofC, etc.)

My husband has wanted to do KofC but our local group is not very visible and (seems to be) almost all elderly men. He has a friend in another group where there are younger guys, and they share a lot more info on social media about joining, activities, etc. Our local KofC’s website hasn’t been updated since something like 2000.

1. Do you have any suggestions for encouraging or motivating men to get involved?

If there’s beer, they will come (well, that’s the attraction for social things for my husband, anyway, since being snobby about beer is one of his hobbies. ) And if there’s a social component as well as religious. My husband has said he doesn’t necessarily want to talk religion all the time with his Catholic friends, but just be able to be in a space with guys who are basically dealing with the same stuff in life and approach it in the same way.

1. Please add any other points that you think are helpful to this topic.

I think this is a good topic! Thanks for bringing it up.

 

[CitizenCain]

If you’re a man, how are you involved in your parish and local Catholic community? If you’re a woman, how are the men in your life involved?

I attend Mass, participate in Eucharistic Adoration, and am a member of my local Knights of Columbus council

In addition to Mass attendance (bare minimum), what particular ministries or Catholic groups/organizations would you like to see more male involvement in?

I think men need to have a greater presence in the liturgy, but also in prayer groups.

Expanding on the above, what opportunities for men are simply lacking in your area? Do you have any ideas for new ministries?

I also see that young men really have no place in the parish life (at least from my experience in 3 different states). We don’t have young men’s groups or young married couples groups and I think that keeps many men away.

 

[kkollwitz]

Stuff I’ve done but not doing now:

Cantor

Lector

RCIA teacher

Ministry to shut-ins

Hospital ministry

Adoration

Stuff I do now:

Active in KofC

6th-grade Catechist

Adult Ed lecturer/ Catechist-training speaker

 

[Warandpeace]

Hola amigos. I have a few questions for everyone:

1. If you’re a man, how are you involved in your parish and local Catholic community? If you’re a woman, how are the men in your life involved?

I am a woman, the men involved in the Catholic Church I know do all sorts of things. The ones my age participate in “small groups” for fellowship and discussion, and are also involved in activities such as altar serving and singing at Mass. We also have male FOCUS missionaries.

1. In addition to Mass attendance (bare minimum), what particular ministries or Catholic groups/organizations would you like to see more male involvement in?

I would like to see men do more socializing in the activities they are involved in.

1. Expanding on the above, what opportunities for men are simply lacking in your area? Do you have any ideas for new ministries?

Ministry that encourages brothers and sisters to interact with one another. Perhaps a dance for young adults.

1. Do you have any suggestions for improving the male-oriented groups that currently exist (parish men’s clubs, KofC, etc.)

Encourage men to discern the priesthood.

1. Do you have any suggestions for encouraging or motivating men to get involved?

The guys involved in parish life are usually overburdened as it is. We need to bring in the guys who are only somewhat involved and assign them work in the parish. Sometimes I think we just don’t ask. (women also)

1. Please add any other points that you think are helpful to this topic.

Thanks for posting!

 

[powerofk]

I’m a man, and currently, I’m a lector, 2nd grade catechist, and in the Knights of Columbus.

In prior parishes that I’ve belonged to, I’ve been in the music ministry, and (when I was in college) the youth ministry team, altar server, Respect Life program, among other programs.

Honestly, the best way to get men involved in church activities comes with their upbringing. Parents need to encourage their sons to be involved in church activities, and set the example. Husbands and fathers have to show their sons how to pray and make going to church a priority. We can’t have the opinion that church is just “for children, women, and the elderly”. Though my wife and I don’t have any children together, I still say, it’s only with men showing the importance of church life that boys will grow up realizing how important it is. And we can’t leave this responsibility to be that of our wives.

 

[808Catholic]

1. Involvement with the parish: I’m a middle aged male headed for the lower side of elderly and participate in a weekly Catholic men’s group called That Man Is You (very highly recommended!), weekly Scripture study (also very highly recommended), am an RCIA and CCD instructor, a Lector, and (soon to be commissioned) extraordinary minister of the Holy Eucharist. I’m also a member of the Knights of Columbus and actively recruit males for the parish.
2. I’d like to see more men involved with their families in general and leading them in prayer wherever they may be. Through the TMIY program, I’ve become more aware at how men have been “slacking” in their duties and we need to get back to doing what God made us for: protecting and leading our families. In addition to volunteering to Lector and EMHE, which are visible lay ministries in the parish, I’d like to see men in more active and visible roles so that we can show by example how our sons are supposed to act in a Godly way. Organize a yard cleaning project for an elderly parishioner who is not able to join the parish for Mass. Participate in community service events like Food Bank (we just had our annual collection drive). Incorporate prayer in everything you do so that we “live Christ” and not just talk about Him. Before you start on any activity outside the church, gather the group and lead them in a prayer asking for safety and to remind all we do this for love of Christ.
3. Too many to mention but one I’m advocating for the next class of CCD students (since there are mostly boys) teach while doing carpentry projects. I’m planning on a series of small projects that the students will take multiple weeks to complete and they will take home after the project is done. Besides the obvious “Jesus was the son of a carpenter” reference, we practice ‘creation’, perseverance, patience, and come to realize not everything is perfect but we can do our best to overcome our weaknesses/sins.
4. I’m going to add on to what Havard posted: encourage discernment for consecrated life. Not all men can be priests but many married men (and some single men) may be suitable for the Diaconate. At the very least, find out what is the Diaconate and why it’s different from the priesthood. We don’t have a men’s group at our parish though I’m one of the Knights who is establishing a new Council for our parish. I’ve noted that men don’t have groups but tend to attach themselves to whatever their wives or children belong to. I’m hoping with the formation of the KoC Council, we can establish a group that is more male oriented that can tackle the tougher issues of SSA, pornography, the idolatry of work, abortion, etc. Like participating in Mass, men tend to walk away rather than do what’s right. I’m hoping these men called Knights will reverse that trend and lead other men as well as their sons/grandsons back to full, active participation in the Church.
5. Skip since my post is long enough.
6. Men and women need to understand God created us both but He created us different to fulfill different roles in His Church. While the women have done their best to fill the roles of men who were “slacking”, we men need to become good examples for other men and bring them back to the Church, hold their feet to the fire as only men can with other men, and restore the intent of the domestic church that was a topic of discussion in Vatican 2. As the families go, so go the Church.

 

[Zzyzx_Road]

stuff I’ve done in the past, but not at the moment:
Eucharistic Adoration
Eucharistic ministry both at Mass and to invalids at home or in senior housing
assisted with RCIA
assisted at the annual fair
lector
audio/visual at Mass

I agree there are not enough men. This is often apparent at Mass. This past Sunday, I missed my usual Mass so I went to a different parish: they had all-female lectors and altar servers plus only two men serving Communion. Yikes, there is far too little example setting in that environment for boys who might grow up to be priests or else grow up to lead their own families to the Church. Not a good thing. Notice I didn’t say anything about women, but just saying there needs to be more men encouraged and involved and that doesn’t have to be a zero-sum thing.

one other thing: where I live doesn’t seem to have much of a Catholic singles scene in the region. It’s pretty family oriented here; First Communion Mass gets a real good turnout, for instance.

 

[Havard]

Awesome feedback so far, thank you. Please keep it coming!

 

[Kelfa28]

Hola amigos. I have a few questions for everyone:

1. If you’re a man, how are you involved in your parish and local Catholic community? If you’re a woman, how are the men in your life involved?
2. In addition to Mass attendance (bare minimum), what particular ministries or Catholic groups/organizations would you like to see more male involvement in?
3. Expanding on the above, what opportunities for men are simply lacking in your area? Do you have any ideas for new ministries?
4. Do you have any suggestions for improving the male-oriented groups that currently exist (parish men’s clubs, KofC, etc.)
5. Do you have any suggestions for encouraging or motivating men to get involved?
6. Please add any other points that you think are helpful to this topic.

1.) My husband is fairly involved in our Church. Working 13 hour shifts and having 3 kids limits what you can do.

2.) My husband attends Sunday Mass when his schedule allows it. His job comes first.
He is a Knight, a member of our Parish’s Men of St. Joseph group. He also is an alternate adorer for the over nighters and will cover anyone one who needs it…if his schedule allows.

3.) There aren’t. In fact, there are far more groups and opportunities for men then women. Currently we have no groups for women in our parish. Save the regular bible studies we do and adult education…but that is open to everyone.

4.) Not really. I do know that my husband thinks the literature that they follow in the Men of St. Joseph group is really lame…and not stimulating at all. But he really enjoys the fellowship and discussions they get into…when they expand on the book.

5.) Parishes need to make more of an effort to start men’s groups. I think we are the only Parish in the area that has one. There are a few men from neighboring Parishes that attend ours.

 

[Brianmcg321]

I joined the Knights of Columbus. We do lots of odd jobs around the Parish and we have 3 big fundraisers which the proceeds go to the Parish and other charities.

 

[StudentMI]

I’m a guy. I’m a Knight, involved with SVdP, and was an RCIA sponsor for a year. At the moment, due to work and other things, I go to Mass but that’s about it.

SVdP doesn’t need any improvement at my parish as they do all they can to help people. The Knights, however, are a sort of social club for guys and while they do some very good things to help those in need they could do more. When we organized to help out at the Special Olympics, a handful of guys from our council showed up compared to a ton of guys from other councils, even a few biker Knights. Most guys seem to go and talk with friends and drink and then that’s it. The only thing that gets a big turn-out is pancake breakfasts. And that only because you get to hang out with buddies for a few hours, in my cynical view.

I know I’m risking upsetting others when I say this, but hopefully some may understand. I think a lot of the spiritual activities offered at our parish are very feminized. The same group of people seem to show up at every thing (Adoration, rosary, parish council), and they are somewhat liberal. The Knights are a counterpoint to that, but at the opposite end. Show up, sit through a meeting, and drink and eat hot dogs while talking with other guys. The more spiritual, devotional things turn guys away. That’s just my opinion, but there it is.

 

[masuwerte]

Hola.

My wife keeps volunteering me for stuff. We do donuts and hospitality ministry (which is mostly straightening up between Masses).

I’m frequently asked to join the KoC, which is a non starter because I’m not Catholic. I don’t think I would try to join, even if I were.

I’ve poiltely declined to serve as a lay reader, because it would be better to have a Catholic serve in that position in my opinion.

Any activity with beer would be good.

Just my two cents.

 

[masuwerte]

Eucharistic Adoration

Eucharistic Adoration should be a much bigger deal than it is, IMHO. I started going to Eucharistic Adoration at an Episcopal church about 15 years ago, and I’ve always found it to be helpful. I wish my wife’s Catholic parish would have it more often.

 

[808Catholic]

Eucharistic Adoration should be a much bigger deal than it is, IMHO. I started going to Eucharistic Adoration at an Episcopal church about 15 years ago, and I’ve always found it to be helpful. I wish my wife’s Catholic parish would have it more often.

My wife pointed out the Eucharist does not need to be on display in the monstrance for adoration. Slap my own forehead!!! When I have time, I kneel before the tabernacle and have my own adoration now! She’s so smart!

 

[baliano]

I’m in the KofC but no other available groups appeal to me.

I do attend Exposition and Adoration, on my first visit some busy-body woman came up to me and loudly questioned why I was there, was it for “their” prayer meeting? I resisted the temptation to tell her I was only there to get out of the cold. This group is largely female and they talk loudly and incessantly before and after Exposition just as they do before and after Mass.

We wonder why more men don’t attend!

If Pastors want more men in their churches they absolutely must return the sense of sacredness to the Lord’s house, it isn’t a movie theater where we chat until the show starts. I would also add a personal desire that all the social glad-handing be banned, I don’t care to shake hands with anyone when I’m trying to prepare myself for the sacrifice about to take place nor do I care to run around the aisles wishing everyone I know Peace.

Just this man’s opinion.

 

[CyrilSebastian]

I am an Altar Server. Sometimes I have been an Usher when I am not serving.
The previous pastor had announced at one Mass that he would like to see married couples volunteer to be altar servers. At that time there was one couple that did this.
Despite the priest’s declaration, no other couples came forward.

 

[faithsmind]

Havard… as in the pahhhked the cahhhh Havard?

So, at my old parish (which was very large and ministry focused), we have the Acts retreats which is divided–one is specifically for men, and one is held specifically for women. I’ve never been, but I’ve heard they are very powerful. There is also a type of men’s group called Men of Iron which is popular.
The men I personally know, my brothers and friend’s husbands, are involved through the small group couple’s ministry. They are all very involved in this and have found a wonderful network of friends this way. I don’t know if that would pertain to you, though. And my dad is an usher–a very handsome and sweet usher, at that. I do see a lot of men involved in the 40 days for Life ministry. One of my bros also enjoys attending the incredible bible courses that our parish offers in the evenings.
It seems like men could ban together to offer some type of physical service for people needing the help… not exactly a volunteer fire service, but something like that. Or maybe like a bible study and basketball league combo. Just a thought.

 

[Havard]

Havard… as in the pahhhked the cahhhh Havard?

Nah. No connection to Harvard with a Boston accent.

So, at my old parish (which was very large and ministry focused), we have the Acts retreats which is divided–one is specifically for men, and one is held specifically for women. I’ve never been, but I’ve heard they are very powerful. There is also a type of men’s group called Men of Iron which is popular.
The men I personally know, my brothers and friend’s husbands, are involved through the small group couple’s ministry. They are all very involved in this and have found a wonderful network of friends this way. I don’t know if that would pertain to you, though. And my dad is an usher–a very handsome and sweet usher, at that. I do see a lot of men involved in the 40 days for Life ministry. One of my bros also enjoys attending the incredible bible courses that our parish offers in the evenings.
It seems like men could ban together to offer some type of physical service for people needing the help… not exactly a volunteer fire service, but something like that. Or maybe like a bible study and basketball league combo. Just a thought.

Great suggestions!

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Hola amigos. I have a few questions for everyone:

1. If you’re a man, how are you involved in your parish and local Catholic community? If you’re a woman, how are the men in your life involved?
2. In addition to Mass attendance (bare minimum), what particular ministries or Catholic groups/organizations would you like to see more male involvement in?
3. Expanding on the above, what opportunities for men are simply lacking in your area? Do you have any ideas for new ministries?
4. Do you have any suggestions for improving the male-oriented groups that currently exist (parish men’s clubs, KofC, etc.)
5. Do you have any suggestions for encouraging or motivating men to get involved?
6. Please add any other points that you think are helpful to this topic.

1. I am a man I am involved in our parish. I have been involved in many youth programs and have been a youth minister. Most of my involvement goes into raising my family and leading them in the faith. I notice that many parishes are not attracting men. Problems with the liturgy and adequate male activities are some of the biggest problems.
2. Youth programs, especially teens who need healthy examples of men in faith.
   And activities involving bible studies and sports.
3. Many opportunities are lacking. Our parish is very inward focused and the men are quite stoic. I moved here from the west and the difference is quite noticeable.
4. Attract younger demographics of men. KofC has never interested me Bible studies are a plus. But the number one most important thing: Liturgy. Butterflies and pansies type things are driving men out like snakes out of Ireland.
5. Provide something that interests men. This is not that hard.
6. Men can be a present and sizable force in the Church. They just need to have attention directed at them. Now, it is generally something they do to make the wife happy, if they are there at all.