Part of being Catholic and being ready for the Sacrament of Holy Communion is willingness to put aside our own personal preferences and obey the Church.
The priest has asked the parishioners to send their children to religious education classes. He is not asking the parents to do something sinful. IMO, to disobey the priest would be wrong.
When some families choose not to obey the priest, this sends the message to their children, and also to the “less-devout” families in the parish, that it’s OK to disobey the priest sometimes.
Does the Church give us the “right” to pick and choose which mandates of our priests that we will obey and which we will disobey?
CCD isn’t in the same category as a “church picnic” or a “Bible study.” We are free to attend or not attend these events. The priest does not ask us to attend. He merely allows these activities to commence, and makes it clear that we are invited to attend if we wish.
But your priest has asked that all children attend CCD.
It is clear that he has some motive for asking that all families send their children to CCD. It would be good to know what that motive is, but he is certainly not obligated to share this with all the parents.
I’m guessing that one of his motives is to create an atmosphere of humility and obedience in the parish, and teach children that they must obey their Church. He is making a reasonable request in asking all children to attend CCD.
Perhaps another reason is that he has run across children who were educated about their faith at home, and have been found lacking in knowledge when put to the test, or perhaps have made it obvious that they have been taught things that are incorrect or dubious or quasi-schismatic or sedavacantist. It’s unfortunate for good homeschooling parents that some homeschooling parents are messing it up, but that’s the way it is. The priest would prefer not to take a chance and wants to make sure that ALL the children in his parish are educated correctly and adequately.
Perhaps a third reason is one that other posters have alluded to in posts before this one, namely, to expose less-devout families to families who are devout, with the hope that these less-devout families will be encouraged to strengthen their faith and increase their involvement with the parish. This is a noble and appropriate goal, as we who are the Church should act as one body, not as separate entities. Read through Ephesians 4: 1-16, and note the fervency of St. Paul’s wishes that we all “grow TOGETHER” in Christ.
A fourth reason might be to provide enough monies to continue the CCD program. There may be families who truly can’t afford CCD (especially single parent families where it would not be possible for the children to be educated at home about their faith). When ALL the families in the parish attend, the monies from the better-off families can be used to help those families who are currently in tough financial situations.
At any rate, we should assume the priest has good reasons to make this request, and that he is not trying to take away parental authority, or that he is not a megalomaniac who wants total control over the children.
It would be best to obey the priest and thus set a good example to the children. If the teaching at CCD is excellent, then reinforce it at home. Reading that 4th Chapter of Ephesians will make it clear that God has given teaching gifts to various people in the Church, and it is good for parents to take advantage of God’s generosity and allow these good teachers to help them to raise their children–we can never have too much help when it comes to raising up good, faith-filled children.
If the teaching at CCD is lacking in some way, it will not hurt the children to sit there anyway and learn to deal with less-than-stellar teaching and materials. In various community music venues, I’ve worked with many homeschooled children, and one of the “problems” that we have is that they are often easily-bored and in need of constant stimulation and attention, and sometimes, they are even rude and very willing to voice their objections to the teacher or his/her material. It would be good for homeschooled children to learn that not all situations are interesting or relevant, and that they must often learn to simply sit quietly and try their best to pay attention and get the most out of a dull setting.
If the teaching in the CCD is heretical or contrary to Church teaching, then it would make sense to appeal to the priest and beg him to either improve the CCD or to allow families to do their own teaching at home.
As for the evaluation of children for readiness, this certainly depends on the size of the parish. In our parish, several hundred children make their First Holy Communion each year. There is no way that a priest would have the time to give each child a personal interview to evaluate their readiness. He must depend on the faithful CCD teachers to assess each child throughout the year and give an honest evaluation of their readiness for the Sacrament of Holy Communion. A written test could be administered, but many children, even those with no belief whatsoever, could be “taught the test” and probably score a perfect score.
I hope this opinion is helpful to the OP.