I’m with CofK on this one…both of these people cannot be controlled by you. However, you can control your reaction and whether or not you are going to jump into the mud with them and role around.
A great technique someone taught me was to repeat everything the person says back to me, when they are angry and trying to tell me off, to them in the form of a question.
Like this:
You are a mean and selfish woman because you won’t do (whatever).
me: I am a mean and selfish woman?
That’s right. You should help me with this (or go somewhere or do something).
me: I should help you/go somewhere/do something?
That’s what I said! Why won’t you do this or that or whatever?
me: Why won’t I do it? Because (and this is the only direct answer I was allowed to give) I said no. And no is a complete sentence.
It took me a long time to learn how to deal with these types. I realized that one of the reasons I had a hard time doing it is because I wanted everyone to like me… My reasons, in other words, were pretty darn selfish and self-centered. Once I realized that I was the reason I was making all these dumb choices, my choices began to change.
