Manners: Not rushing out after Holy Communion

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Kathryn_Ann

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:angel1::highprayer::angel1:

I’m interested in what others think on this: Is it not best to remain and pray after receiving the Holy Eucharist instead of rushing out the door? And is there a way to teach the congregation to remain until after the Priest departs? I thought it was proper to remain until after the blessing and after the last Hymn, and not to leave until after the Priest exits. People just seem to want to rush to the parking lot and this seems rude. Should something be said, taught/ mentioned from the pulpit or in the bulletin?

:harp::nun1::knight1:
 
Should it, yes.
Will it make a difference, probably not. :o

I have had discussions with many priests & deacons about this issue,
and sadly, even when people are reminded of the importance of staying
at Mass until the end, usually within a week or 2 they are right back at it.

One also needs to remember that some people may need to leave- to get to work, get home to be with an ill loved one, etc.-
so it is important to remember that we don’t always know someone’s circumstances.
I will concede though, that in my experience those who habitually leave early do so for not so noble reasons. 😦

The best way I have even seen this situation handled is with the placement of signs at the entryways of a Church that said-
“Remember, Judas left early, too!”
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It worked for this particular parish, where nearly half the congregation left
right after receiveing communion. Now, it is maybe 10%.

What is it they say…
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink! 😛
 
Well I anticipate a number of post about not judging others, assuming the best, etc. (it’s inappropriate to correct people it seems 🤷)

I know our current priest said he used to attend mass at a place before seminary that had plaques on the doors that said something like “That’s okay, Judas left early too.” We also went to a neighboring parish recently where the priest was was speaking about faith and obedience. As part of the homily he mentioned people who show up at the homily and bolt for the doors after receiving the Eucharist. Surprisingly I never saw the side doors open before the recessional at that mass.

I have been surprised recently by the number of homilies I have heard where the priest takes to heart the spiritual works of mercy “to educate the ignorant” and “to admonish the sinner.” Before that we rarely heard any of our local priest speak to sin in quite that way. It makes me think there is hope yet that people will continue to hear that we must turn away from sin for salvation.
 
With under a year of regular Mass attendance I notice people leave early. My first assumption was that they needed to leave early for some reason. Perhaps they are over eager to sign up to help at some parish activity. So someone could wait at the door with the sign up sheets for the early leavers.:idea:
 
Well, when I was a Protestant, it was an absolute faux pas to either be late to or leave early from church “service.” You just didn’t do it, and if you were running late, you went home. If you had something to do halfway through service, you either sacrificed it and went to church anyways, or just didn’t come to church at all.

We have a far too casual culture in the Catholic Church, especially in the US, Canada, and the majority of Europe, and I’m afraid to say, it’s equally blameable on clergy and laity. Protestants get two things right: lifelong catechesis and making sacrifices to attend church and other activities sponsored by it. Catholics, comparatively, are poor at both of these things. I believe the degeneration of our liturgical worship is at the core of this casual culture. You might say, “Protestant worship is far more casual, on average, than Catholic liturgy,” and you’d be right in saying that. However, Protestant thinking is a bit different than Catholic thinking, and their social expectations are routed in different ways. Our social expectations are routed primarily through the mass and the experience one has in it. Think about it. Have you ever seen a liturgically-rich parish in which the parishioners are casual and otherwise lazy in their approach to mass and other events? I’m willing to bet that the answer to that is a quick, “No.” And I don’t mean to say that only an Extraordinary Form parish can be liturgically-rich, so don’t incorrectly infer that.

Our “charity level” can’t get in the way of expectations. I think many people on this board have a skewed interpretation of charity. In fact, I think it’s far more charitable to get someone in check, in a respectful way of course, than to let them aimlessly put their soul at risk.

PS: I’m not saying that Catholics should start emulating Protestants. No. What I’m saying is, “If they can get it right, why can’t we?” We’ve got the true Christian faith, but we don’t have the social expectations aspect. I’m really starting to get this “New Evangelization” thing that His Holiness is putting out, and I think my views line up with the movement.
 
If we trivialize leaving Mass down to just manners, people won’t get it.

We need to explain what the Mass is and why its important that people are there for the entire thing.
 
YoungTradCatholic: When I was a Protestant, the church filled up 20 minutes after the service started. It was an hour and a half service usually. But almost no one left early and sometimes it was hard to get out of the church after the service because everyone was hanging around chatting.

But in attending a Catholic church I find that by showing up 5 to 10 minutes I incorrectly assume that hardly anyone is going to show up. Then Mass starts and the rows start filling up–after Mass has started. I feel if you can’t make to the first Mass try the next one but don’t show up late unless it is the last Mass. And you should try to stay to the end.
 
ConstantineTG said:
If we trivialize leaving Mass down to just manners, people won’t get it.

We need to explain what the Mass is and why its important that people are there for the entire thing.
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Exactly. No matter how wrong Protestants are fundamentally, at least they hold with the highest importance their flawed beliefs. Their social expectations aren’t “just 'cause,” and ours shouldn’t be either. We do need social expectations, which we absolutely don’t have, and we also need to explain why we have them.
 
This wouldn’t be a problem if they just locked the doors until the priest left!

Or maybe have a raffle.

Seriously I never understood why people did this. It’s just a couple more minutes. I can’t imagine getting to the parking lot sooner is going to affect the time you get home that much.
 
People think, for some magic reason, that they have to receive the Eucharist, and that’s it. People think they have to receive the Eucharist once a week, which is absolutely false. People need to be let known by father that the requirement isn’t to receive the Eucharist, but to attend mass, and that if you haven’t stayed for the whole mass, you haven’t attended mass. I mean, that’s just simple logic right there. How hard is that to get?
 
YoungTradCath said:
Exactly. No matter how wrong Protestants are fundamentally, at least they hold with the highest importance their flawed beliefs. Their social expectations aren’t “just 'cause,” and ours shouldn’t be either. We do need social expectations, which we absolutely don’t have, and we also need to explain why we have them.
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I’m not talking about social expectations. People must understand the Mass so that they will respect it. Most people who do not respect it do so not because of pride but because of ignorance.
 
ConstantineTG said:
I’m not talking about social expectations. People must understand the Mass so that they will respect it. Most people who do not respect it do so not because of pride but because of ignorance.
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But my point was that social expectations should be based on the “why” of attending mass.
 
I am in RCIA and the deacon who leads it remarked on this phenomenon just last week. He called it the ‘Judas Shuffle’ and said ‘They want to get their wafer and go. I have to wonder if they are just superstitious.’
 
Kathryn_Ann said:
:angel1::highprayer::angel1:

I’m interested in what others think on this: Is it not best to remain and pray after receiving the Holy Eucharist instead of rushing out the door? And is there a way to teach the congregation to remain until after the Priest departs? I thought it was proper to remain until after the blessing and after the last Hymn, and not to leave until after the Priest exits. People just seem to want to rush to the parking lot and this seems rude. Should something be said, taught/ mentioned from the pulpit or in the bulletin?

:harp::nun1::knight1:
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It’s not only bad manners, but something you are told NOT to do.

We have a real problem with that in my parish. Personally, I think that just after the blessing before the final hymn the priest needs to have hidden a $20 befor emass and only AFTER the closing prayer does he reveal where it’s hidden. That might get people to stay!!!
 
YoungTradCath said:
But my point was that social expectations should be based on the “why” of attending mass.
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But that doesn’t address the issue. If people do something just because its a social expectation, then its an empty gesture. I don’t see a difference between one rushing out of Mass early, than one being there the whole time but completely clueless why he’s there.
 
ConstantineTG said:
But that doesn’t address the issue. If people do something just because its a social expectation, then its an empty gesture. I don’t see a difference between one rushing out of Mass early, than one being there the whole time but completely clueless why he’s there.
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Sure it does. Obviously, if the social expectation is based on something deeper, which this particular one (hypothetically) is, then it would be part of that social expectation to explain the “why.” And just by explaining the “why,” that in itself CREATES a social expectation, does it not?

And I do see a difference there. One met his obligation, and the other did not. They both need to be catechized, and if that fails then certainly the first one needs to be reprimanded, but the second still met his obligation regardless. The Church sees the distinction by having a rule in place which is thus met by the second person.
 
YoungTradCath said:
Sure it does. Obviously, if the social expectation is based on something deeper, which this particular one (hypothetically) is, then it would be part of that social expectation to explain the “why.” And just by explaining the “why,” that in itself CREATES a social expectation, does it not?

And I do see a difference there. One met his obligation, and the other did not. They both need to be catechized, and if that fails then certainly the first one needs to be reprimanded, but the second still met his obligation regardless. The Church sees the distinction by having a rule in place which is thus met by the second person.
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Its based on something deeper by those who set the expectation, not those who abide by it. Again, if one doesn’t know why he’s there, then its an empty gesture. Sure, everyone else may know the reason (lets set that as an assumption here), but the other person who stays because other people expect him to stay, it is fruitless. Unless that person is instructed properly, they will never get it.

No, you are wrong about the other one not meeting the obligation. Because the Church herself doesn’t say conclusively who met it or not. Also if going to Mass is just about ticking that “to-do” list on Sundays to be in Mass, again, its an empty gesture. We do not go to Mass to fulfill an obligation.
 
lisahiku said:
We don’t ?
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No. Do you? I hope not! I go to Liturgy to be fed spiritually, first by the word of God through the Gospel, then by the flesh and blood of our savior. That is my reason for being there.
 
ConstantineTG said:
Its based on something deeper by those who set the expectation, not those who abide by it. Again, if one doesn’t know why he’s there, then its an empty gesture. Sure, everyone else may know the reason (lets set that as an assumption here), but the other person who stays because other people expect him to stay, it is fruitless. Unless that person is instructed properly, they will never get it.

No, you are wrong about the other one not meeting the obligation. Because the Church herself doesn’t say conclusively who met it or not. Also if going to Mass is just about ticking that “to-do” list on Sundays to be in Mass, again, its an empty gesture. We do not go to Mass to fulfill an obligation.
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I’m not exactly sure why this has to do with anything. The expectation is perpetuated by everyone who meets the expectation. I just said, the expectation needs to be reenforced with proper catechesis, did I not? For some reason, you will not allow the “social expectation” part to get into this at all, even with the added catechesis, and I cannot fathom the slightest, tiniest idea why.

By your way of thinking, this is how it goes:

Johnny rudely leaves mass every Sunday after communion, because he doesn’t know why he should stay. He thinks he has to receive the Eucharist every week. Someone kindly informs him that he does not, in fact, have to receive the Eucharist every week, but that his obligation is instead to come to mass on every Sunday and Holy Day. He accepts this truth.

OK, cool. Does this make Johnny care? Maybe, maybe not. Adding a little statement like, “It’s an expectation that every parishioner attend mass every Sunday and Holy Day,” reenforces the “why” on another level, and has nothing to do with charity or lack thereof.

And, about who met the obligation, how am I wrong? Let me put this a different way. If I have a goal, and I reach 99% of it, I DID NOT MEET my goal. It’s the same way with mass. There is a rule, which states that there is an obligation to attend mass. If you are there for 99% of it, you did not meet your obligation. How can this not be clear? You can’t do something partially then go tell someone you did it; you didn’t. You can’t say you did your taxes on your own if you took them to H&R Block; you didn’t You can’t say you attended mass if you left early; you didn’t.

We DO go to mass to fulfill an obligation! That is very dark thinking.
 
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