Manners: Not rushing out after Holy Communion

[Georgia]

People are going to be late sometimes. That’s a given. However, blowing in late and making up for it by leaving early is a habit many have acquired. Yes, we are going to have those occasional conflicts that get us there late or that force us to leave early, but it happening every week indicates choice rather than circumstances.

There are a number of people in my parish who have not been there for a procession in years. I am sure the even if we don’t want to admit it, we all know those who do that weekly. What I don’t get it that they seem blissfully unaware of how disruptive it is.

 

[jimrob]

My wife tells me that she can always tell a Catholic Church anywhere in the world because the late arrivals overlap with the early leavers.

 

[dconklin]

I grew up in South Florida. The parish we belonged to was near many retirement communities, so some of the Masses were attended by retired people. The Saturday vigil Mass was one with the highest concentration. Many restaurants in the area offered Early Bird specials. People would leave to be sure not to miss it. We had a young priest that would go out into the parking lot to get people. There were doors between the 1st row and the sanctuary that allowed a lot of light to blast in and that was very startling when you prayed after Communion.

 

[garn9173]

I used to be one of those who left after Communion, however, a couple of weeks ago, Father delievered a very good homily about how special of a time it is to attend Mass from start to finish and challenged everyone to stay until the end. That’s all the encouragment I needed to stay until the end.

 

[ProVobis]

I’m interested in what others think on this: Is it not best to remain and pray after receiving the Holy Eucharist instead of rushing out the door?

Can’t some of this be attributed to agoraphobia, where some people are just relieved to be out of the crowded pews? I notice quite a few standing in back at least to get the blessing. That said, I don’t have any excuse for those leaving the premises early altogether.

 

[ConstantineTG]

I used to be one of those who left after Communion, however, a couple of weeks ago, Father delievered a very good homily about how special of a time it is to attend Mass from start to finish and challenged everyone to stay until the end. That’s all the encouragment I needed to stay until the end.

Its things like this that are needed. My wife was the same way. Not that she left early but she dreaded why she had to go every Sunday even when she didn’t feel like going. To her, its nothing more than an obligation. Then a previous pastor of ours made this great homily comparing going to Mass weekly was like eating 3 times a day. Since then she has appreciated being in Mass/Divine Liturgy every Sunday.

This was the point I was trying to make here. I don’t know why others can’t seem to get it

 

[ConstantineTG]

I’m not exactly sure why this has to do with anything. The expectation is perpetuated by everyone who meets the expectation. I just said, the expectation needs to be reenforced with proper catechesis, did I not? For some reason, you will not allow the “social expectation” part to get into this at all, even with the added catechesis, and I cannot fathom the slightest, tiniest idea why.

By your way of thinking, this is how it goes:

Johnny rudely leaves mass every Sunday after communion, because he doesn’t know why he should stay. He thinks he has to receive the Eucharist every week. Someone kindly informs him that he does not, in fact, have to receive the Eucharist every week, but that his obligation is instead to come to mass on every Sunday and Holy Day. He accepts this truth.

OK, cool. Does this make Johnny care? Maybe, maybe not. Adding a little statement like, “It’s an expectation that every parishioner attend mass every Sunday and Holy Day,” reenforces the “why” on another level, and has nothing to do with charity or lack thereof.

And, about who met the obligation, how am I wrong? Let me put this a different way. If I have a goal, and I reach 99% of it, I DID NOT MEET my goal. It’s the same way with mass. There is a rule, which states that there is an obligation to attend mass. If you are there for 99% of it, you did not meet your obligation. How can this not be clear? You can’t do something partially then go tell someone you did it; you didn’t. You can’t say you did your taxes on your own if you took them to H&R Block; you didn’t You can’t say you attended mass if you left early; you didn’t.

We DO go to mass to fulfill an obligation! That is very dark thinking.

No it does not reinforce it on another level. This is why a lot of people are falling away from the faith and are angry at the faith. They feel everything is an obligation, a command. They do not appreciate that the reality is about love of God and our spiritual nourishment.

Its the same when we were kids and we hated our chores because it is something our parents told us to do. We didn’t appreciate that it was about keeping our own homes tidy. And often our parents get perplexed by our protests that they just tell us the reason for us to do our chores is because “they told us so.” And it didn’t help, we hated what we had to do all the more.

 

[Usige]

Can’t some of this be attributed to agoraphobia, where some people are just relieved to be out of the crowded pews?

Maybe that is true for some, but then I must run into some unusual agoraphobics that like to squeeze into an already full pew and grab my hand during the Lord’s Prayer. It must be fairly common since I start in a packed pew only to find a half full pew when I return.

Maybe we’ve just discovered a new disease called “Post-Eucharistic Agoraphobia” (though I suspect it might be related to the notorious “Sunday Football Ecclesiophobia” [fear of churches while a football game is on])

 

[lisahiku]

No. Do you? I hope not! I go to Liturgy to be fed spiritually, first by the word of God through the Gospel, then by the flesh and blood of our savior. That is my reason for being there.

Yes, when I go. Perhaps that is why they call it “holy day of obligation”

 

[lisahiku]

I also must confess I often leave early, right after communion because there is just too much tripping and hassle with the people in the pew!~
(church I attend has many elderly people on walkers, many of whom are **AHEAD **of me
as we head out the door!

 

[ConstantineTG]

Yes, when I go. Perhaps that is why they call it “holy day of obligation”

We must understand that the law is meant to enforce the truth, not be the truth itself. We need to go to Mass because our souls need it. To obligate us to go is the Church just finding a legislative way to make us realize that. If we go without realizing the truth, then the spirit of the law is dead.

 

[ProVobis]

… We need to go to Mass because our souls need it. To obligate us to go is the Church just finding a legislative way to make us realize that. If we go without realizing the truth, then the spirit of the law is dead.

So to the point of the thread should we expand the obligation to have to sit through a final blessing?

 

[ConstantineTG]

So to the point of the thread should we expand the obligation to have to sit through a final blessing?

If people understand why we need to be there for the entire Mass, we do not have to obligate people to anything. No one obligates you to eat, why should Mass be an obligation?

 

[ProVobis]

If people understand why we need to be there for the entire Mass, we do not have to obligate people to anything. No one obligates you to eat, why should Mass be an obligation?

You’re right, they shouldn’t have to. But realistically if you remove the obligation and people’s communion, how many would bother to show up at all? Most don’t see the 3x a day meals as the right analogy here.

 

[ConstantineTG]

You’re right, they shouldn’t have to. But realistically if you remove the obligation and people’s communion, how many would bother to show up at all? Most don’t see the 3x a day meals as the right analogy here.

They have to know that they have to be there one way or another. If all they know is the law, what good does that put in their soul? How does it change them, make them love God, and give them life?

 

[YoungTradCath]

No it does not reinforce it on another level. This is why a lot of people are falling away from the faith and are angry at the faith. They feel everything is an obligation, a command. They do not appreciate that the reality is about love of God and our spiritual nourishment.

Its the same when we were kids and we hated our chores because it is something our parents told us to do. We didn’t appreciate that it was about keeping our own homes tidy. And often our parents get perplexed by our protests that they just tell us the reason for us to do our chores is because “they told us so.” And it didn’t help, we hated what we had to do all the more.

But that’s not what I’m saying. I’m not saying father should go up to the rude early-leavers and and tell them they should stay JUST because there’s an obligation. Obviously, as I said, there is a reason behind the obligation. That reasoning should be explained. We go to mass to a., b., c., and by the way, there is an obligation. How hard or bad or whatever is that?

 

[ConstantineTG]

But that’s not what I’m saying. I’m not saying father should go up to the rude early-leavers and and tell them they should stay JUST because there’s an obligation. Obviously, as I said, there is a reason behind the obligation. That reasoning should be explained. We go to mass to a., b., c., and by the way, there is an obligation. How hard or bad or whatever is that?

The problem here is if you are going to be legalistic about it, there is no written down rule by the Church that says leaving before the Final Blessing doesn’t fulfill one’s obligation. So for a priest to say that they need to stay to fulfill the obligation is lying.

 

[YoungTradCath]

The problem here is if you are going to be legalistic about it, there is no written down rule by the Church that says leaving before the Final Blessing doesn’t fulfill one’s obligation. So for a priest to say that they need to stay to fulfill the obligation is lying.

How can you refute this logic? If you don’t do something completely, then you haven’t done it. If I paid only $4 for my $5 book, I haven’t paid for it. If I woke up at 9:05 and I was supposed to wake up at 9:00, I didn’t meet my goal. If I am recruiting people to work at my company, and I only recruit 10 out of 15, then I haven’t met my quota. If I leave mass before mass is over or if I am late to mass, then I haven’t met my obligation to attend mass.

 

[Dymphna82]

I really wish this was handled more firmly. I find it disruptive when I’m enjoying the last of the mass and folk are whooshing by me.

 

[ConstantineTG]

How can you refute this logic? If you don’t do something completely, then you haven’t done it. If I paid only $4 for my $5 book, I haven’t paid for it. If I woke up at 9:05 and I was supposed to wake up at 9:00, I didn’t meet my goal. If I am recruiting people to work at my company, and I only recruit 10 out of 15, then I haven’t met my quota. If I leave mass before mass is over or if I am late to mass, then I haven’t met my obligation to attend mass.

If you paid $4 for a $5 book, you have partially paid for it. Now one can argue that the cost of the book is $4 or probably less, so technically you paid for the book, but didn’t give the bookstore their markup.

If you woke up at 9:05, you’re 5 minutes late. What is your goal? You woke up. Imagine if you didn’t wake up at all.

Okay, lets settle this. Where does the Church conclusively say that missing the ending of a Mass does not fulfill one’s Sunday Obligation. If you can show me a document, then I will believe you. Otherwise, your claim doesn’t have any basis in Church Law.