Many children born out of wedlock: what is root cause?

[davidv]

Lack of self control and society telling young people that self control is not possible.

And the degrading of sexual intimacy to the level of a party game.

 

[edwest2]

1960 - The Pill introduced. The birth control Pill much like the Bomb, was seen immediately by hedonists as their answer.

1968 - Anti-family forces, such as Communists, Hippies and radicals in general, declare a “sexual revolution.” translation: sex with anyone, anywhere is OK.

1970s - Sex is talked about on TV.

1980s - Porn on cable and more suggestive sexual scenery and situations on network TV.

1990s - Profanity and partial nudity on network TV.

2000s - Relativism. “What’s the big deal?” Maybe-ism, who-knows-ism, who-can-say-ism. One-way “tolerance” for all deviant lifestyles.

Each one of us must decide to be holy.

God bless,
Ed

 

[Al_Masetti]

The glamorization of women’s liberation.

I was doing some research on some prominent radicals … Betty Friedan died a couple of years ago, as I recall. Her obituary mentioned being very well off … and as I recall she was virutally a radical socialist, although her “disguise” was as a woman’s libber.

[In fact, she is mention on page 169 of Dinesh D’Souza’s book, “The Enemy at Home: the cultural left and its responsibility for 9/11”.]

dineshdsouza.com/ gets you to his books on Amazon and B&N; however when I went directly to Amazon, I couldn’t see D’Souza’s books.

Originally, I was looking up Saul Alinsky and Noam Chomsky.

[You can find a lot of stuff on the Web site of David Horowitz who had been a radical before he reformed himself. He’s written a bunch of relevant books, including “Radical Son”.]

frontpagemag.com/

donationreport.com/init/controller/ProcessEntryCmd?key=D8Q0U3W0R8

frontpagemagonline.com/onlinestore/

Anyway, I’m going to paste the links I found to the list of socialist / communist radicals who were/ are active in American politics. See if you recognize any of the names.]

marxists.org/archive/index.htm

 

[Ces280]

Nobody denies it takes both a man and a woman to have a child. That doesn’t negate the fact that we paid women to have children out of wedlock.

I wasn’t disagreeing with you. What you said is true. Just pointing out the boys these days seem to serve a “I need to get laid” religion. Where work, and responsibility come last to getting some hot chick for a night, and run when the EPT turns positive.

I suppose actually educating the children is out of the question?

Just pointing out that most aren’t being educated in K-12 schools anymore. All it is about these days is indoctrination to tolerating every behavior, and how to pass state tests. I ran into this about sophmore year of High School; around the time of the OJ case, and listened to how the cops framed him, and it’s because he’s black. I wasn’t disagreeing with you Humphrey. I was actually just adding on with my own thoughts.

 

[edwest2]

Educating children? Who is going to do that? When rising home prices forced both parents to work, the business of day care began. Do public schools even teach “civics”? Or how about one school where a crazy psychologist was hired. His idea? In Little League, give the winners and losers a trophy. That way, you don’t damage these kids’ self-esteem. What? And when they grow up and enter the real world, and find out that losing means not getting a trophy, then what?

In the 1950s and 1960s, you could see and hear normal, stable people on television. Yes, they were actors but their behavior was reflective of Judeo-Christian principles. Today, even network TV is pure trash and shock jocks are on the radio. Dysfunctional families are portrayed as the norm. Britney in her underwear on the cover of People. Rape in rap/hip-hop.

The trashing of religion, the trashing of modesty in dress and speech, the trashing of living in stable households. Party all the time. The trashing of respect for authority figures, including mom and dad.

Betty Friedan, a Communist, wrote the Feminine Mystique which was published in the early 1960s. She described the family as “a comfortable concentration camp.” Gloria Steinem, once head of the National Organization for Women, said, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” They told women that they were all victims or guaranteed future victims, of the men in their lives. Men were the enemy. Then Sex and the City made it seem OK that women should act like the “pigs” that men were accused of being.

The most important problem, people stopped going to Church. They were spending too much time imitating the world.

God bless,
Ed

 

[KathleenElsie]

Educating children? Who is going to do that? When rising home prices forced both parents to work, the business of day care began. Do public schools even teach “civics”? Or how about one school where a crazy psychologist was hired. His idea? In Little League, give the winners and losers a trophy. That way, you don’t damage these kids’ self-esteem. What? And when they grow up and enter the real world, and find out that losing means not getting a trophy, then what?

In the 1950s and 1960s, you could see and hear normal, stable people on television. Yes, they were actors but their behavior was reflective of Judeo-Christian principles. Today, even network TV is pure trash and shock jocks are on the radio. Dysfunctional families are portrayed as the norm. Britney in her underwear on the cover of People. Rape in rap/hip-hop.

The trashing of religion, the trashing of modesty in dress and speech, the trashing of living in stable households. Party all the time. The trashing of respect for authority figures, including mom and dad.

Betty Friedan, a Communist, wrote the Feminine Mystique which was published in the early 1960s. She described the family as “a comfortable concentration camp.” Gloria Steinem, once head of the National Organization for Women, said, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” They told women that they were all victims or guaranteed future victims, of the men in their lives. Men were the enemy. Then Sex and the City made it seem OK that women should act like the “pigs” that men were accused of being.

The most important problem, people stopped going to Church. They were spending too much time imitating the world.

God bless,
Ed

Some are just trying to make ends meet. And I don’t mean trying to purchase a Mansion or a Mercedes. But many have bought into the I WANT IT NOW propaganda.

The Church teaches that working on Sunday is no longer a no no and many have taken that to mean Mass is optional. Also when was the last time you heard a Homily on moral sexual choices or abortion?

 

[JimG]

When rising home prices forced both parents to work, the business of day care began.

It may be a bit of the chicken & egg dilemma. Dual income home buyers also forced up the price of homes. I just started reading Kate O’Beirne’s book Women Who Make the World Worse. I’m only on chapter two and already she’s made a lot of the points that are being made on this thread.

 

[LeahInancsi]

While all comments before mine are very profound, mine will only be an observation. Please take it with a grain of salt.

When I started RCIA, I also joined a Catholic Singles website as I’ve never been married. One thing I noticed that shocked me was the number of “never marrieds” who had children and the casual attitude toward having children out of wedlock. One girl was in her 30’s and pregnant with her fourth, all out of wedlock. I was shocked at the sympathy she received.

My conclusion was that unmarried Catholics who have sex out wedlock are not using contraception, possibly due to Church teaching. Abortion also falls into the same category. Also, since all children are gifts from God, unwed mother are more inclined to keep their children rather than giving them up for adoption.

All that said, I don’t blame the Church for this situation, for the most part. Quite the contrary, nothing is stressed more in the Church than marriage and celebacy before marriage. I do think that catechists in the Church should discuss the Church’s teachings regarding sex in more depth whether it be priests and deacons in their homilies or in CCD classes.

Unfortunately, the moral decay of secular society has reared it’s ugly head among those who attempt to be good Catholics. The young people just aren’t getting the message.

 

[BamaRider]

Just a total breadown of the the family, and it is sad to watch.

I recall growing up in the late 50s and early 60s, and the example my mother and father set. At school the Sister’s at Christ The King, made it plain what was right and wrong.

At Christ The King we had 3 classes of 1st graders in 1961 (about 25 per class), I virtually had the same classmates for all the way through 8th grade. Every single child in those classes had a mother and father at home.

At home in my neighborhood, all my playmates had a mom and dad at home. I fear to know what the numbers are in most public schools today.

As a baby boomer, most of the fault lies in my generation. Our parents, growing up deprived in the Great Depression, suddenly had more than they ever dreamed possible, and wanted to make sure their kids never had to endure. It is noble thing to wish for your children better then you had it, nothing wrong with that, but it brings a great responsibility, and many in my generation have totally failed.

Our was a generation of anything goes, do what ya want. We were going to DIsney World, and eating out 5 nights a week, we didn’t bother to teach right from wrong, and when our kids failed it was always the teachers fault, or the coach, or some bully in class, and any number of things but “hey you failed the test because you didn’t STUDY.”

I’m not saying that was true of ALL boomers, but we are split 50-50,and our power struggles over which vein of thought is gonna rule the country is still going on. Just look at the upcoming Presidential race. I think it is why Obama is gaining momentum, many in America are just tired of Baby Boomers trying to mold the country into what they believe it should be,and now they finally have a candidate who is NOT boomer.

Now we have a generation where NOBODY wants to responsible for ANYTHING anymore, including having babies without daddys. Sheesh call a customer service number and try to find someone who can make a decesion and you’ll get my point.

I can’t tell you the number of friends my 28 year son has that are cohabitating. And nobody thinks anything of it, that is now looked as acceptable, by at least half of America. I still preach to my bachelor son that is NOT acceptable, and he has listened, but he says he is pressured all the time why his gf has not moved in, and I tell him to just say, “because its wrong.”

The Church is correct in the driving home the point of the family. It is the core of what holds so many things to together. Kids need examples to live by, to have something so they can see the contrast of right and wrong.

That is why you see so many unwed mothers, the bar has been lowered, and what once deemed wrong is now ok.

 

[blessedtoo]

It may be a bit of the chicken & egg dilemma. Dual income home buyers also forced up the price of homes. I just started reading Kate O’Beirne’s book Women Who Make the World Worse. I’m only on chapter two and already she’s made a lot of the points that are being made on this thread.

An astonishing book and a must read for anyone interested in the true motive of the “feminist” movement.

I keep it by my side at all times. It is full of facts and is a wonderful resource.

 

[Kolbe300]

I think it’s the same root cause for most of the problems in our society and our world today: A desire for everything but God.

 

[newbetx]

Sex?

Not trying to be funny, really. Although, the prevailing attitude about sex can be tied back to contraception’s introduction, too many kids these days aren’t even trying to practice contraception. “It was an accident. I wasn’t trying” you get the dirft… but actually some DO try… I was floored when I overheard some girls (15yo at the time) talk about how great it would be to drop out of school and get pregnant! Married wasn’t in the list, folks! To them it was a rite of passage to being a woman!

TV? Movies?
Where did our role models go? Oh, they are there… just not the same kind of role models we had when we were younger… Pregnant un-wed movie stars. Rotating husbands. Sports “heros” with hoards of women AND a wife… With life like the Simpson’s, who needs authority? God’s or anyone elses?

Maybe it’s us… We’ve become forgiving, supportive, and accepting of “alternate lifestyles.” Or maybe we’re just too timid to speak up. While I don’t suggest we go back to the condemnation, public ridicule, and well just plain meaness that we used to have towards people that acted “less than Christian”, it certainly did make an impression about how to act in a “proper” society. We have lost the ability to maintain a proper God based standard of living. I’m not sure if we can get it back.

 

[deb1]

It may be a bit of the chicken & egg dilemma. Dual income home buyers also forced up the price of homes. I just started reading Kate O’Beirne’s book Women Who Make the World Worse. I’m only on chapter two and already she’s made a lot of the points that are being made on this thread.

My hubby is the only one that works in our family. We own a 2500 sq foot home but it is a double wide, bricked in trailer. Of course, if you live in a trailer, no matter how large or nice, you get made fun of. For some odd reasons in this society we tend to publically mock the working lower part of the middle class.

I have known many families that one person in the family made more then my hubby but both members worked. I think that there is simply a lot of emphasis on material things in our modern world.

Of course, some couples both have to work just to survive but we’ve also gotten to the point where some people think that surviving means having a new computer, two cars and cable tv.

I am not saying that women who work are doing anything wrong either but I know some couples who barely see their kids or spend more time at work then with their children. No wonder they don’t know that their daughters are sexually active or if they do, they just throw up their hands in surrender.

 

[edwest2]

BamaRider,

You are exactly right. In the 1950s and 1960s we lived our Catholic faith every day. Most of our neighbors were good people and good role models. Our moms took turns taking the neighborhood kids to the local field to play ball and have fun. If the neighbor kid was spotted climbing our tree, his mom and dad heard from my mom and dad. Later on, if he fell and broke his arm, it was his fault. Nobody sued anybody about it. If a neighbor’s mom had an emergency and asked my mom to watch her daughter for a few hours, she did. No charge.

I’m not suggesting for a moment that things were perfect but they were better. My parents were great example setters. In public, even total strangers were generally, modest in dress and speech, respectful toward each other, little kids and older people. You said “please” and “thank you.” You were properly punished if you misbehaved. There were rules for a reason. Parties had a beginning, a middle and an end. Dating meant getting to know the other person, not sex. Parents were generally respected, the Church was generally respected, people generally had self respect.

Then the Hippies appeared in 1968. “Let it all hang out, man. Hey, ya wanna expand your mind? Drop acid (LSD)?” They appeared to be peace-loving “flower children” who were against the war in Vietnam. In fact, they were colorfully dressed anarchists and drug pushers. Too many Catholics saw the ‘love beads’ and peace symbols and ‘freedom’ they talked about as something worth trying. They were anti-family and anti-authority, which included mom, dad, the Church, the police (Off the pigs!), and other foundations of society. Take marriage. A Hippie friend of mine told me: “I don’t need no piece of paper ta live with my old lady.”

They turned their backs on the Church, civil authority, God as authority and marriage. It’s hard to be a productive member of society when you’re stoned most of the time: weed, coke, booze.

But the anarchists weren’t done yet. In the 1970s, explicit porn and Adult Bookstores sprang up all across the country. In 1973, I remember the pro-abortion groups telling Catholics that “Abortion is the most difficult choice a woman will ever make, and is between her and her God.” Funny how a “use in case of emergencies only” procedure became abortion on demand, and God was dropped from the speeches.

But the dismantling of families continued in the 1980s when No-Fault Divorce swept through the country. “No kids? $75.00 and you’re out.”

By the 1990s, partly due to porn on cable and then the internet, you couldn’t tell a Christian from a non-Christian. The media helped to promote fornication, adultery and divorce. What’s the big deal? Then Gay Marriage, which is moving toward “Mix and Match Marriage.” And parents letting their kids cuss them out in public.

Time to turn around. It’s never too late.

God bless,
Ed

 

[lukewarm]

Well of course the reason is that less people are getting married, or at least waiting a lot longer to do it while remaining sexually active.

I’m 30 and I am the only one out of all my friends who are married. Most don’t ever want to get married either and list the following reasons:

1. Children of divorce who watched their Mom take basically everything from their father in the courts. They watched their Dad lose his family, house, car, sometimes evern careers because basically their mothers decided he wasn’t making them happy and had all the power in the courts.
2. They can get all the benefits of marriage without being married. It used to be women withheld sex, living together, even children and all the god things come with marriage until they were married. Now they don’t at all, so men don’t see much of a need in getting married and puting themselves behind the 8 ball for no good reason.
3. They simply enjoy being a bachelor.

I haven’t spoken in depth with women on the issue, all my friends are men, like I said I’m married so no female friends for me.

 

[mary_bobo]

So much of what I have read here is some of what I think the causes are. Good posts. Something I have noticed that is of interest is that out-of-wedlock births are just a fact of life and people seem to accept them as part of life. I can remember a time when, if a girl got pregnant, she either married the man involved or her family sent her to an out of town family member of live with and put the baby up for adoption. Society still frowned on out of wedlock births. Not so today. No one seems ashamed anymore. It is sad to see so many very young girls in the stores, pregnant. They have no idea what they are in for.

My parents were divorced when I was nine. I had three younger sisters. I can remember even at that age going to Mass on Sundays and feeling out of place because my mother was divorced. The only other members of my class who did not have two parents at home were children of widows/widowers. These days you are hard-pressed to find a two parent home at schools.

Perhaps no fault divorce has something to do with it. It is so easy to get a divorce these days, no one seems to try to work things out when they have problems. It’s so easy and so acceptable to just cast a spouse aside and move on.

 

[LeahInancsi]

My parents were divorced when I was nine. I had three younger sisters. I can remember even at that age going to Mass on Sundays and feeling out of place because my mother was divorced. The only other members of my class who did not have two parents at home were children of widows/widowers. These days you are hard-pressed to find a two parent home at schools.

My parents separated in 1961 and I started school in 1962. Nobody’s parents were divorced and those kids whose parents were divorced had trouble in school. They were very poor and struggled with their school work. Both of my parents were college educated (Purdue) and I had everything I needed and made A’s and B’s. If anyone had known that my parents were separated and later divored, I would have been lumped in with the rest of the kids from “broken homes” regardless of my grades and achievements.

One day I was telling this story to my step-mother and half-borther who is 12 years younger than me. My half-brother popped up and said that in high school, he was one of the few whose parents weren’t divorced.

When I was 17, I worked at Six Flags Over Texas. I almost fainted when a girl from Fort Worth who was a junior in high school told me about her baby. High school kids don’t have babies! It took me years to get over that.

How times change. Very, very sad.

 

[Newbie2]

I don’t know that in the strict sense of the term, we can say that contraception is the root cause…because if contraception were successful, well, then there would be fewer babies born out of wedlock.

Point taken,though, and I agree that the “freedom” of contraception is certainly a major factor, along with the other reasons posted.

Personally, the thought of having a child out of wedlock was sufficient motivation for yours truly to abstain.

 

[vern_humphrey]

I wasn’t disagreeing with you. What you said is true. Just pointing out the boys these days seem to serve a “I need to get laid” religion. Where work, and responsibility come last to getting some hot chick for a night, and run when the EPT turns positive.

Just pointing out that most aren’t being educated in K-12 schools anymore. All it is about these days is indoctrination to tolerating every behavior, and how to pass state tests. I ran into this about sophmore year of High School; around the time of the OJ case, and listened to how the cops framed him, and it’s because he’s black. I wasn’t disagreeing with you Humphrey. I was actually just adding on with my own thoughts.

If we were actually educating the children, teachers wouldn’t need to teach kids how to pass state tests. You can get the released test questions for most state tests and see that they’re pathetically easy. Teachers who were teaching would’t have to spend one second teaching kids to pass those tests.

 

[LeahInancsi]

Every single day, I hear newspeople and politicians complaining about schools and school teachers aren’t doing their job. I’m sick of it. Whatever happened to parents???

Garbage in , garbage out.