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vern_humphrey
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Parents have a huge role to play – but if parents could educate their children unaided, there would be no need for Public Schools.
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deb1
Guest
Uh…some of us homeschool, Vern.
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vern_humphrey
Guest
Of course – but mostly out of desperation at the poor quaility and bad values taught (formally and informally) by the Public School system.Uh…some of us homeschool, Vern.
And you will admit – homeschooling is a great strain, and not everyone (or even most parents) can or will do it.
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deb1
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I think that there is enough guilt to go around.
Teachers are called on more and more to do the job of the parents not simply teach. This is unfair to everyone involved.
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deb1
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No, homeschooling is a calling and not everyone can do it.
I hesitate to call it a strain, though. I found getting my kids ready for school every morning, making certain that even very young children did their school work and trying to stay involved in the school was more of a strain then homeschooling is. But I like doing what I do. Probably in different circumstances I would be a teacher, myself.
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vern_humphrey
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So would I. My field is Operations and Training, and I’ve done everything from training Commandos in Singapore to working on the development of very sophisticated Distributed Interactive Simulations (DIS). I’ve also worked the Basic Educational Skills Program (BSEP) where we developed Computer Aided Instruction (CAI) for members of the Armed Forces with sub-standard reading and math skills.No, homeschooling is a calling and not everyone can do it.
I hesitate to call it a strain, though. I found getting my kids ready for school every morning, making certain that even very young children did their school work and trying to stay involved in the school was more of a strain then homeschooling is. But I like doing what I do. Probably in different circumstances I would be a teacher, myself.
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Renton405
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Al_Masetti
Guest
“Go with your feelings”.
Can you imagine anything st*pider than that?
Good Lord!
Can you imagine anything st*pider than that?
Good Lord!
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deb1
Guest
Follow your heart comes to mind. BUt then again, awhile back I started a thread on how harmful that phrase is.
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honeysuckle
Guest
I have not seen any expressions of compassion or support for mothers or children in this thread, though I may have overlooked them.
I am a Catholic convert. Unlike many converts, I am not converting because I have a boyfriend who is a cradle Catholic I want to marry. I am converting because God has compelled me to be a part of His Church. Several years ago I was not living my life for the Lord in obedience to the Lord, and I was in a sexual relationship with a man outside of marriage, and became pregnant. Every person I knew said that I should have an abortion, but I could not because of my love for child and belief in her life. Her father denied paternity, and has never been a part of her life
Single mothers who have children out of wedlock are sometimes- even often- women who have such strong mothering and loving instincts they cannot bend to pressure to have an abortion, and women who would be married and “respectable” had they not been abandoned by the father. That is how you get to be in that position. I lived my life by the world’s standards that do not honor marriage (which was a sin), but now carry around all of society’s blame and scorn as a single mother, simply because I loved my child (so didn’t hide the fact I was unmarried and pregnant with an abortion) and I was abandoned (so couldn’t hide the fact I was unmarried and pregnant with a shotgun wedding.)
I was lucky to be able to support my self and my child financially. And yet, if you were to meet me, would you be welcoming and accepting, or would you try to find some way to disparage me?
Most, I think, who are truly living their Baptism would extend the love of Christ to me. And yet, there are some who would feel that it was their job to make me suffer to pay for ruining society. If that is you, or someone you know, I encourage you to repent of that sin, as I have repented of mine.
:grouphug:
I am a Catholic convert. Unlike many converts, I am not converting because I have a boyfriend who is a cradle Catholic I want to marry. I am converting because God has compelled me to be a part of His Church. Several years ago I was not living my life for the Lord in obedience to the Lord, and I was in a sexual relationship with a man outside of marriage, and became pregnant. Every person I knew said that I should have an abortion, but I could not because of my love for child and belief in her life. Her father denied paternity, and has never been a part of her life
Single mothers who have children out of wedlock are sometimes- even often- women who have such strong mothering and loving instincts they cannot bend to pressure to have an abortion, and women who would be married and “respectable” had they not been abandoned by the father. That is how you get to be in that position. I lived my life by the world’s standards that do not honor marriage (which was a sin), but now carry around all of society’s blame and scorn as a single mother, simply because I loved my child (so didn’t hide the fact I was unmarried and pregnant with an abortion) and I was abandoned (so couldn’t hide the fact I was unmarried and pregnant with a shotgun wedding.)
I was lucky to be able to support my self and my child financially. And yet, if you were to meet me, would you be welcoming and accepting, or would you try to find some way to disparage me?
Most, I think, who are truly living their Baptism would extend the love of Christ to me. And yet, there are some who would feel that it was their job to make me suffer to pay for ruining society. If that is you, or someone you know, I encourage you to repent of that sin, as I have repented of mine.
:grouphug:
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vern_humphrey
Guest
Look at the title of the thread. It does not deal with the specific individuals, but with the social phenomenon. It does not ask how we should deal with woman who are unmarried and pregnant, nor how we should deal with mothers in need. Instead, it asks a more basic question – why are so many children born out of wedlock?
I would strongly recommend you start a thread of your own – how should we deal with women who are unmarried and either pregnant or have children. I think you will find plenty of compassion in such a thread.
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honeysuckle
Guest
That sounds quite defensive to me. I am not suggesting a new topic, I am contributing to the thread by suggesting that people remember that social phenomenons are made up of real human beings. I think that observation is quite appropriate for this thread.
God bless you and your discussion
God bless you and your discussion
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vern_humphrey
Guest
Let the record show I had a hilariously funny come-back, and forebore – to my credit.
You agree we’re talking about a complex subject, do you not? The best way to deal with such subjects is to break them into their component parts, and examine each part separately.
Again, we’re talking about a sociological phenominon – that is, we are at the macro-level.
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honeysuckle
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If you felt the need to have a “come back” in response to an appropriate, godly comment, then I would suggest that is of the flesh.
God Bless you as you examine this issue through the eyes of Christ.
God Bless you as you examine this issue through the eyes of Christ.
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KathleenElsie
Guest
The subject of this thread is the cause not the result and societies ability to love and nurture those that find themselves in this position.
**Would you and your child not have been better off with a father and a mother in the family to share the joy and sorrow that comes from having children? **
We can’t change what people have done in the past. But if we know what is causing young women and men to procreate without the stability of marriage then maybe we can help others to not make the same life decision about sex prior to marriage.
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honeysuckle
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I made a pretty clear point, which is that social problems when reduced to the least common denominator are about people, individuals.
The point that I made was intended to be an ancillary, supplemental perspective, rather than an answer to the question, “why is this happening?” I could share my sociological perspective, but I feel like in the end, the core, essential issues are about people, and God’s response to people.
If you feel that it is necessary to close this discussion to the personal comments, in order to focus on more important, abstract theory, well, by all means, forgive the imposition, and please continue with your theoretical discussion.
When doing so, though, please keep in mind that further back in the thread some people commented that women have children out of wedlock because of their “pride”. If you would like to make those kinds of assumption about the mental states of individuals, then perhaps it is appropriate to find out whether or not most women actually do have children out of wedlock because of “pride”. What better way to test that theory than to hear the real experience of an individual.
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deb1
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You should comment to that person, using their statement as quotes. Some of us might have missed that post in all these pages and referring to it without using quotes is unfair. We have no idea if you are taking something out of context or even reading it correctly. I am not saying that you are doing this but we have no idea of knowing until you use the quote feature.
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honeysuckle
Guest
I am very sorry to see these kinds of responses that focus on whether I am following all of the rules. It’s sad, and disturbing, that the Holy Spirit hasn’t prompted anyone to respond to the core message of looking at social issues through Christ’s eyes, which is what I originally posted. If you feel the need to comment on superficial aspects of my posts and whether or not they are following convention and rules, then I must believe that this defensiveness comes from God using what I am saying to penetrate into people’s hearts and make them more loving and compassionate people.
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honeysuckle
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I think it’s sad that more people aren’t moved in humility and compassion for the experiences of those who are living without the Lord and the comfort of the Blessed Mother and Her Church. Maybe the Holy Spirit will move some people to respond to this issue through the eyes of Christ.
God Bless
God Bless
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justinthemartyr
Guest
this is simple. if a baby is conceived out of wedlock, then the topical problem is premarital sex.
The deeper cause of premarital sex is the lack of true intimacy between persons due to a lack of true intimacy by the parents towards each other and the child who is now growing up and having sex to try to fill that hole. It is also the lack of God in a persons life to fill that God shaped hole they are trying to fill with sexual relations. The deeper cause of this lack of true intimacy and dignity is the practice of artificial contraceptives which take the dignity out of the marital act and lowers the amount of dignity for women in general. It causes male persons to make a sexual object out of a woman and leaves no real consequences for the natural result of the marital act, which is normatively a baby. Once this so called “accidental pregnancy” occurs as a natural result of the marital act, the male figure is not in anyway ready for this and runs off to find another female to try to fill that God shaped hole with. This will continue until he comes to the conclusion that this is not working and he longs for true enduring love from God, who is the only one that can fill this Hole.
just my take.
The deeper cause of premarital sex is the lack of true intimacy between persons due to a lack of true intimacy by the parents towards each other and the child who is now growing up and having sex to try to fill that hole. It is also the lack of God in a persons life to fill that God shaped hole they are trying to fill with sexual relations. The deeper cause of this lack of true intimacy and dignity is the practice of artificial contraceptives which take the dignity out of the marital act and lowers the amount of dignity for women in general. It causes male persons to make a sexual object out of a woman and leaves no real consequences for the natural result of the marital act, which is normatively a baby. Once this so called “accidental pregnancy” occurs as a natural result of the marital act, the male figure is not in anyway ready for this and runs off to find another female to try to fill that God shaped hole with. This will continue until he comes to the conclusion that this is not working and he longs for true enduring love from God, who is the only one that can fill this Hole.
just my take.
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