JC Nixon:
If the priest had been the one to decide the content of this homily, then perhaps you would be right, no one could take the bride and groom to task. But when the homily was in essence ‘dictated’ by the bride and groom, with full knowledge that many of their wedding guests would be upset, to the point of tears, then they are wrong.
When someone invites you to share in their wedding, you don’t expect to go and be embarrassed and demeaned, deserved or not. A wedding ceremony is not the place for it.
Suppose the shoe were on the other foot. Suppose, just for a moment that the couple who were getting married weren’t so sanctimonious and they were the ones who had been living together prior to marriage, it was widely known also that they were practicing birth control and any number of other issues that were not in keeping with Church law, and one of the guests stood up at the ceremony and blasted the couple for their sinful ways, fully justified. Do you suppose that would be OK? Probably not. I expect many would be horrified. It would be inappropriate, just as this was inappropriate.
My point remains the same, if you are so sure what you did was right and appropriate, why did you ask for opinions to bolster your position? Obviously, you realize you were wrong but don’t want to admit it and are looking for justification.
We are supposed to educate people in the faith, correct them in their errors and help to guide them back to the right paths. I suspect what you have done is to drive many on the fence even further away, thus causing further scandal. Those actions are on you, you will have to answer for those you caused to slip further away because of your holier than thou, slap it in your face actions.
Okay, I will respond to you right now shortly, I didn’t want to do this before because I can see by the choice of your words and content that this thread will just become a debate between you and I. But you assume way too much. From your point of view, it is thoroughly hypocritical of you to be judgmental and say: “you obviously know you were wrong”. Nope, I’m sorry, I don’t believe I was wrong. you are wrong.
And I KNEW someone was going to be embarassed to the “point of tears”??? I’m sorry, you assumed and are wrong again.
Furthermore, If I stood up and demeaned a wedding couple in the middle of their wedding I would be wrong for pointing them out and pointing a finger… Very different from preaching against SIN which was done and not an individual. FORNICATION is WRONG. ABORTION is WRONG. ETC. And if someone int he congregation is embarassed cause they happend to be one who killed a little child, then so be it. It teaches humilty without humiliating them pubically for no one knows their sin except themselves.
Also, sorry you are WRONG again when you say the homily was DICTATED by the bride and groom. It was a joint effort by ourselves and the priest. We gave him an idea of what we wanted to be preached and he did the entire body of the his homily on his OWN. We did not hear any of it until the day of the wedding, but had a good idea of what it would be about. There were many points in the homily that I didn’t know would be included, but many that I did know would be. There was nothing I disagreed with though.
So, why did I post here? You assume, judge, and say it is to blow my own horn, it is because I know I was wrong… etc… But you in fact are wrong… I posted here because I saw a situation that I knew was wrong: people saying RUDE comments at my wedding/reception OF and ABOUT my priest… and I only wanted other orthodox Catholics thoughts on the matter, that was it. I fully expected 95% or more to understand where I was coming from and a few people like yourself which doesn’t surprise me.
Its very hypocritical of you to make so many assumptions and judge my character instead of only the situation… and then say what we did was wrong. Yes, I asked you for your opinion of what was done, not an examination and judgment of my character… Like your counterpart here on these posts by the name of Della who said that the poster and those who agree are probably under 30. That’s pretty “judgmental” both your standards. that’s like me saying: “they must’ve been black!”
finally, i think it was you who said someting along the lines of (if it wasn’t in fact you, i apologize, i have no time to sift through posts right now): how would you like it if you went to a fundamentalist church and they were saying catholics are all going to hell (or something like this). They can preach whatever they want in THEIR Church, and I have no right to tell them they are wrong to preach that there.
