Many negative comments about my Wedding Mass

[OutinChgoburbs]

Long life and many years. No matter which side of the coin people choose…I guarantee you, James, NOBODY will forget your wedding!

 

[Kielbasi]

…I guarantee you, James, NOBODY will forget your wedding!

That I’ll agree with.

I’ve gone to scores of weddings in my day, and I still remember a wedding more than 25 years ago where the preacher gave a 20 minute diatribe on the evils of alcohol.

These kinds of wedding messages are very rare but very memorable, to say the least.

 

[fix]

byHisGrace:

That some would find offense certainly suggests either discomfort with the subject matter, or, in my opinion, a lack of understanding of what marriage is about. I would bet your priest was trying to contrast the beauty of your commitment in a sacramental marriage and its life giving qualities, with the sad culture of death that surrounds us. If one person was touched in their life at the ceremony through you and your priest’s witness to the truth, then the graces from your marriage began flowing to another on the very day of your wedding!

 

[James_2_24]

Kielbasi:

That’s apparently because you’re neither a fornicator nor an adulterer.

But you are most definitely a sinner, none the less. I don’t know what your sin is, needless to say, but it would have been a lot more humble on your part to ask the priest to talk about detraction, or avarice or pride or gluttony, if you are guilty of those instead of targeting in on the sins and percieved sins of your guests.

I disagree. My Priest is also my spiritual advisor, and I get much much direction from him on many occasions both in our meetings and in the confessional. Our point here was to evangelize the people, especially ones who may not be inside a Church too often.

It is hard to believe a few Catholics here are saying basically: Do not talk about sin, make people feel comfortable, don’t admonish sinners, don’t evangelize, leave them alone. If someone is murdering in your congregation, don’t preach against it cause that would be rude! If someone is fornicating in your congregation please do not talk about it, they aren’t expecting it!

GOD FORBID CATHOLICISM SHOULD BE PREACHED!

 

[James_2_24]

tcay584:

A thousand congratulations on your marriage! Regarding the complaints…well…Let it go. Your priest obviously got folks thinking. Some people, Catholic and otherwise, just can’t stand to be told the truth…it interferes with their way of conducting their lives and some find that “offensive”. To them…phooey! Get a grip and enjoy a wonderful day watching two beautiful people pledge their lives to one another. To you… long life, fruitfulness, and all the joys of holy matrimony. God Bless you both, and don’t fret about others…that’s God’s probem (as if He didn’t have enough)

Thank you for your kind words! God Bless you…

 

[Andreas_Hofer]

James_2:24:

Hi everyone!

I was married just over a week ago: September 10th. Immediately following the wedding a lot of negative and rude comments made about the Priest and his homily.

My Priest is extremely orthodox and preaches fidelity to Rome and Christ at all costs. He is sick of where our culture has gone and where it is heading. Many of his homilies are centered on being faithful to Rome and turning away from immoral lifestyles. He is also not afraid to preach about hell. His preaching style is pretty dynamic: a lot of raising of his voice and pounding on the ambo.

On September 10th he launched into a defense of marriage as a Sacrament and attacked the culture which so attacks marriage. He preached against fornication, adultery, artificial contraception, prolonged teen dating, immorality of the media, return to the Sacrment of confession and not live in mortal sin. He openly preached about who should receive communion and who should not. For example he said things such as: “if you are fornicating, living with a boyfriend/girlfriend, or reading pornography, you should not receive communion.” He was very loud and very very dynamic.

At the end of the Mass, at the reception many complained about the following things and said the following things:

1. He made everyone feel like they were going to hell.
2. The homily was so innappropriate
3. Who the “h*ll” does he think he is?
4. That Priest really p*sses me off!
5. Why does he have to pound on the podium?
6. etc, etc, etc.

There were many complaints which really bothered me since the Priest and I went over what we wanted him to preach on – so it was also my fiance’s and my idea. There were many great comments about his homily… but there were so many complaints as well. There were a lot of sighs in the congregation and some even openly talking to show that they weren’t listening.

What really struck me is that most/all of the complaints came from Catholics while much of the praise came from non-Catholics.

Any thoughts?

It sounds like you had a wonderful priest deliver a wonderful sermon followed by a refresher course on the fact that many people would rather hear a comfortable lie than an uncomfortable truth.

 

[Pentecost2005]

Della:

Just think if this had been a Fundamentalist wedding at which many of the guests were Catholics. Would it be all right and laudable for the Fundie preacher to rail on and on about why Catholics are all going to hell? Isn’t that what they believe, so ergo, wouldn’t that be a good thing their eyes?

Yes, indeed. Just THINK. Your analogy makes no sense. Apples and oranges.

 

[LSK]

I don’t know - I suppose that since you had gone over with the priest what you wanted preached at your wedding, then he did a great job. I am surprised, however, that you didn’t point that out to all those who complained. Something real ‘stand up’ and righteous like, “Oh? You didn’t like it? Well, I asked him to cover those topics because I wanted you all to know that my wife and I are faithful, obedient children of the Holy Mother Church and not ashamed to proclaim it!”.

But maybe I misunderstood and that’s what you did…

I will tell you - we had a priest come to our Parish 2 years ago for his Lenten Mission. I cannot remember his name, only that he was from the Central Valley originally and had a show on EWTN for awhile. Anyway, he gave these thunderous sermons - very angry sounding, no love at all but by GOD he was going to let us all have it in terms of preaching…I remember sitting there and thinking, if I was a woman starting to come back to the Faith after years of living a life outside of God’s parameters and I came in here and heard THIS guy SCREAMING at us, I’d end up at Big Valley (the giant, mega church here in the valley) out of pure fear.

So, I think there is a way to present our faith with truth, firmness and love. Father Mitch and Father Corapi do it all the time. The Screamer is scheduled to come back next year - I told our pastor at St. Joe’s in Modesto that that was really too bad.

 

[LSK]

oh! And I forgot!

CONGRATUALATIONS AND GOOD LUCK!

May you be blessed with many healthy and happy children!

 

[TeriGator]

StratusRose:

The responses on this thread have really irritated me. It sounds like many of the posters have taken delight in other people’s feelings of guilt and being uncomfortable. Make sure you don’t have a log in your eye.

Ah, but I have never claimed to be sinless. There are homilies that have made me cringe as well, yet when I reflected on them later I realized that the reason I cringed is that I still had such grievous faults to work on.

I am not delighted to see people uncomfortable, because I know the feeling too well. But I very much appreciate a shepherd of the flock who cares enough to keep the sheep from blindly wandering off a cliff. We all need to hear about the dangers that lurk all around us, lest we get complacent and think that we are utterly safe from sin.

 

[Detroit_Sue]

WanderAimlessly:

As far as I am concerned, the more people squirm during a homily and complain like this after, the better the homily. We need more like this.

PF

:yup: :yup: :yup:

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

TeriGator:

Ah, but I have never claimed to be sinless. There are homilies that have made me cringe as well, yet when I reflected on them later I realized that the reason I cringed is that I still had such grievous faults to work on.

I am not delighted to see people uncomfortable, because I know the feeling too well. But I very much appreciate a shepherd of the flock who cares enough to keep the sheep from blindly wandering off a cliff. We all need to hear about the dangers that lurk all around us, lest we get complacent and think that we are utterly safe from sin.

You said it much better than I could have…thank you!

Malia

 

[James_2_24]

TeriGator:

Ah, but I have never claimed to be sinless. There are homilies that have made me cringe as well, yet when I reflected on them later I realized that the reason I cringed is that I still had such grievous faults to work on.

I am not delighted to see people uncomfortable, because I know the feeling too well. But I very much appreciate a shepherd of the flock who cares enough to keep the sheep from blindly wandering off a cliff. We all need to hear about the dangers that lurk all around us, lest we get complacent and think that we are utterly safe from sin.

Thank you so much for your post and standing up for a true shepherd of our one flock! We need more Catholics like yourself who will stand behind our Priests who are standing up for the truth and proclaiming it without shame. God Bless you and thank you again

 

[James_2_24]

LSK:

I don’t know - I suppose that since you had gone over with the priest what you wanted preached at your wedding, then he did a great job. I am surprised, however, that you didn’t point that out to all those who complained. Something real ‘stand up’ and righteous like, “Oh? You didn’t like it? Well, I asked him to cover those topics because I wanted you all to know that my wife and I are faithful, obedient children of the Holy Mother Church and not ashamed to proclaim it!”.

But maybe I misunderstood and that’s what you did…

I will tell you - we had a priest come to our Parish 2 years ago for his Lenten Mission. I cannot remember his name, only that he was from the Central Valley originally and had a show on EWTN for awhile. Anyway, he gave these thunderous sermons - very angry sounding, no love at all but by GOD he was going to let us all have it in terms of preaching…I remember sitting there and thinking, if I was a woman starting to come back to the Faith after years of living a life outside of God’s parameters and I came in here and heard THIS guy SCREAMING at us, I’d end up at Big Valley (the giant, mega church here in the valley) out of pure fear.

So, I think there is a way to present our faith with truth, firmness and love. Father Mitch and Father Corapi do it all the time. The Screamer is scheduled to come back next year - I told our pastor at St. Joe’s in Modesto that that was really too bad.

Perhaps you just need to see and hear the Priest of which I’m speaking. I do not know if you are implying that all “screaming” Priests are loveless… but, I can tell you that through his passion and “screaming” I could still tell it was done out of love. Especially when he had his “calmer” intermissions…

At one point he was screaming about annulments and how they are too lenient in our American culture… and then he went on to talk about people who totally disregarded the annulment process and got married civilly instead. He said “I am sorry that you cannot receive communion, but the doors of the Church are always open to you…” He then went on to say that he is more than willing to work with them to get over their hurdles…

I don’t know about you, but I see a lot of love in that.

 

[Legatus]

Catholic Heart:

You are NOT a “troublemaker”…And, I agree with what you have said. While the priest did preach a wonderful homily, touching on some very important topics, I don’t think I wou ld have asked for that kind of sermon at my wedding …I would have wanted to hear about the beauty and sanctity of marriage, the joy of raising a Cathoilc family, etc…A wedding Mass is not the place for controversy and confrontation. It is supposed to be a time of joy and forward looking…In my opinion…which I am sure I will be basked for…This was too much negativism for a wedding.

I have to agree! There is a time and place for everything. Perhaps a good sermon on the beauty of Christian marriage would have made some people feel that they want that for themselves as well and that what they presently are experiencing is not good enough.

 

[philjane]

Haven’t read all the comments but I am proud of you for having a homily like that preached at your wedding. The “Catholics” that complained are upset that the priest had the guts to say what he did. A lot of our “theologians” today want to water down the faith and thus people assume that they can do whatever they want & the church will welcome them with open arms. I am a catechist in our parish for the RCIA program & the people who are inquirers are there because they want the faith and the discipline of the one, holy, catholic & apostolic Church.

 

[DreadVandal]

Hi, I’m new here. Just a quick comment and question. If I were to attend a fundamentalist baptist wedding and the minister preached a sermon where he said that Catholics were going to hell, I wouldn’t be insulted. I would take his words with a grain of salt. If all of these people really are practicing birth control and so forth and they are fine in their conscience for it, then why should they care what the priest says? Chances are they never darken the door of a church anyway. At our wedding, the priest opened his homily to us with “welcome to the moral minority.” We only got one comment that I know of from a friend of my wife’s who was practicing as a lesbian at the time and unchurched. My thought was, “Why should she care? What does she expect?” I guess I am saying that these people are adults and they can take the words of your priest anyway they want. Its not your obligation to make them feel good. Personally, I think people in our society today are too touchy and over emotional about things. But that’s just me. I know there are millions in this country who think I’m going to hell because I’m Catholic, I occasionally drink, and I smoke. But why should I care? People need to get over themselves.

 

[SHJ-BVM]

James_2:24,

As the original poster, I hope you are still following this thread.

First off, congrats to you and your bride. May you surpass (because of age) the 25 years my DH and I will celebrate in just a few days.

Second, kudos to you and your wife. Those who were “bothered” by the priests homily are only feeling their guilt being exemplified.

Like you, there are times when my priest gives a homily where I ‘squirm’, because I know in my heart of hearts, that he is touching on something I need to correct. That is a GOOD THING!!!

Peace and Godspeed to you and your lovely wife. May God bless you with many years of much happiness.

 

[Lance_O]

James_2:24:

Hi everyone!
I was married just over a week ago: September 10th

FIRST: CONGRATULATIONS MY FRIEND to you and your new bride It’s been the happiest 3yrs, 3mos, and 19days of my life.
James_2:24:

My Priest is extremely orthodox and preaches fidelity to Rome and Christ at all costs. He is sick of where our culture has gone and where it is heading. Many of his homilies are centered on being faithful to Rome and turning away from immoral lifestyles. He is also not afraid to preach about hell. His preaching style is pretty dynamic: a lot of raising of his voice and pounding on the ambo.

AMEN :clapping: We definitely need more priest like him.
James_2:24:

He launched into a defense of marriage as a Sacrament and attacked the culture which so attacks marriage. He preached against fornication, adultry, artificial contraception, prolonged teen dating, immorality of the media, return to the Sacrment of confession and not live in mortal sin. He openly preached about who should receive communion and who should not. For example he said things such as: “if you are fornicating, living with a boyfriend/girlfriend, or reading pornography, you should not receive communion.”

It takes such integrity for anyone to so boldly proclaim Christ’s message without any 'watering’ down. IF only every priest would preach for all of us to live such holy lives, this world would be such a better place, and the Church would be much stronger here in the USA and in Europe. I find myself so fortunate to know a good number of strong faithful priests.
James_2:24:

At the end of the Mass, at the reception many complained about the following things and said the following things…There were many great comments about his homily… but there were so many complaints as well…What really struck me is that most/all of the complaints came from Catholics while much of the praise came from non-Catholics. Any thoughts?

How typical~

As a convert, I had to come to terms with my “objections” of the Church, many of which were listed above. However as I did my investigating and studying, I found that my “objections” were really nothing more than misunderstandings and/or a severe LACK of knowledge. I was looking for Truth; a Truth doesn’t change to conform to ideals of society that sinks lower into immorality and relativism. I had my fair share of emptiness that came from whole relativism “feels good for me…is all that counts” lie.

Maybe those people should actually set out to learn “WHY” the Church teaches those things are wrong. When I read Humanae Vitae paragraphs 9, 10, 11, and 14 , I had a lot answered and looked at those ‘objections’ with a new light. But when I read paragraph 17, it was like I got hit across the head with a 2x4. Look how much of that paragraph has come true over the last 30yrs.

GOD BLESS this priest for stand faithfully to the Truth that has been taught from the beginning.

 

[otm]

There is a time and a place for everthing. Two Sacraments were being celebrated; your marriage and the Eucharist.

I have no problem with him preaching the truth; however, there was a vast range of things he could have given a homily on that are true, truth telling, not evasive, and time appropriate.

I simply feel that during a marriage ceremony, the comments he made were inappropriate for the time and the place.

Neither do I think it necessary during a baptism to start into a commentary on the C/E Catholics, even though some may be present.

He could have said much of what he did without taking so direct a confrontational approach; one can speak of the sanctity of marriage, the covenant that is being made between husband, wife, and God, of the gift that our sexuality is to one another as bride and bridegroom, without using the word “fornication”, or pounding on the pulpit.

Bombast has its place. It can be an effective means of communicating, but some seem to feel that it is necessary at all times. Over used, it becomes a caricature.

Congratulations on your wedding. May you both be blessed beyond measure.