Many negative comments about my Wedding Mass

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James_2_24

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Hi everyone!

I was married just over a week ago: September 10th. Immediately following the wedding a lot of negative and rude comments made about the Priest and his homily.

My Priest is extremely orthodox and preaches fidelity to Rome and Christ at all costs. He is sick of where our culture has gone and where it is heading. Many of his homilies are centered on being faithful to Rome and turning away from immoral lifestyles. He is also not afraid to preach about hell. His preaching style is pretty dynamic: a lot of raising of his voice and pounding on the ambo.

On September 10th he launched into a defense of marriage as a Sacrament and attacked the culture which so attacks marriage. He preached against fornication, adultery, artificial contraception, prolonged teen dating, immorality of the media, return to the Sacrment of confession and not live in mortal sin. He openly preached about who should receive communion and who should not. For example he said things such as: “if you are fornicating, living with a boyfriend/girlfriend, or reading pornography, you should not receive communion.” He was very loud and very very dynamic.

At the end of the Mass, at the reception many complained about the following things and said the following things:
  1. He made everyone feel like they were going to hell.
  2. The homily was so innappropriate
  3. Who the “h*ll” does he think he is?
  4. That Priest really p*sses me off!
  5. Why does he have to pound on the podium?
  6. etc, etc, etc.
There were many complaints which really bothered me since the Priest and I went over what we wanted him to preach on – so it was also my fiance’s and my idea. There were many great comments about his homily… but there were so many complaints as well. There were a lot of sighs in the congregation and some even openly talking to show that they weren’t listening.

What really struck me is that most/all of the complaints came from Catholics while much of the praise came from non-Catholics.

Any thoughts?
 
Wow! Priest sounds good to me…maybe he touched a nerve and some guests felt guilty.
 
My experience has been that when someone fusses as much as they do, it’s either because they are feeling guilty, or wish they had the “guts” to do whatever it is they are being yelled at for.
If you had positive comments, that’s what counts. Often people get upset if something hits close to home like the homily did. Don’t make yourself crazy. After all, it was YOUR wedding.
~ Kathy ~
 
First, congratulations on your wedding!!! May you and your bride have many years and much happiness together!

I’m sorry you had to hear these negative comments. Honestly, I can’t believe that people were actually telling you these things–how tacky of them; this is your wedding, your priest, whatever their private thoughts, they should have been kept to themselves. If these people aren’t close relatives or friends, just ignore what they said, don’t let it get to you. Even if they are close to you, try to move on as best you can.

The Catholics who were making negative comments probably felt threatened or guilty, even unconsciously. We all know what we’re supposed to do as Catholics, and if we aren’t doing it, and someone like your priest points it out, we tend to get defensive and angry and place the blame outward.

I hope this won’t taint your memories of your wedding day.
 
As far as I am concerned, the more people squirm during a homily and complain like this after, the better the homily. We need more like this.

PF
 
Well done!

I know that when someone says something to me that happens to hit a nerve I get a bit angry and defensive. Later as it preys on my mind (& conscience) I realise that I have been wrong and need to change.

Maybe that will happen to the critics in this case. If no-one rebukes sinners or instructs the ignorant they are in danger of Hell.
the Priest and I went over what we wanted him to preach on – so it was also my fiance’s and my idea.
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What the three of you did was courageous and an Act of Mercy. Congratulations and may God Bless your marriage.

God Bless your priest as well, and may He send His faithful more priests like him who are not afraid of telling the Truth.
 
Much happiness to you and your wife!

I’d give your priest a standing ovation!

Did you know, that the ‘giving the bride away’ is NOT in the rubrics for a Catholic wedding? I can imagine if your wedding was 'said by the book (rubricks), how many would object to not having the bride being…‘given away’?
 
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aimee:
Wow! Priest sounds good to me…maybe he touched a nerve and some guests felt guilty.
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Good point!..
 
The truth is the truth, in season and out of season, and it says something about the hubris prevalent in our society today, that many people upon hearing the Word of God from the mouth of His spokesman, would take umbrage. I only wish that I could hear such a priest. We have so many variations on the “Jesus loves you” riff that it would be refreshing to hear the truth taught forcefully and without equivocation.
 
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aurora77:
First, congratulations on your wedding!!! May you and your bride have many years and much happiness together!

I’m sorry you had to hear these negative comments. Honestly, I can’t believe that people were actually telling you these things–how tacky of them; this is your wedding, your priest, whatever their private thoughts, they should have been kept to themselves. If these people aren’t close relatives or friends, just ignore what they said, don’t let it get to you. Even if they are close to you, try to move on as best you can.

The Catholics who were making negative comments probably felt threatened or guilty, even unconsciously. We all know what we’re supposed to do as Catholics, and if we aren’t doing it, and someone like your priest points it out, we tend to get defensive and angry and place the blame outward.

I hope this won’t taint your memories of your wedding day.
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I second the above motion…and my congratulations…and try not to take too much notice of the complainers…they’re always with us! We are indeed a motely crew and we were from the very beginning…

Barb
 
James_2:24:
Any thoughts?
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Yes, CONGRADULATIONS!

And, it sounds like the “cafeteria catholics” were at your wedding.

I wish I had a Priest like that. Was your spouse ok with it?

Sounds like your blessed with a great Priest.

Joe
 
Satan would love for the truth to be stifled by merely insighting complaints. It’s much more comfortable to live in sin when it’s not pointed out to us.

What a wonderful gift you’ve been given on your wedding day. I wonder how many souls were nudged in the right direction because they attended your wedding.

CONGRATULATIONS!
 
Sounds like you had a great priest. I wish he were near to do funerals. We could use some good homilies there too.
 
First of all Congrats!!! You sound like you have a good priest…I wish there were more like him. The first objection on your list was that he made everyone feel like they were going to hell. Maybe they are. Sounds like a wake up call is in order…and not only in your parish!
 
Now that’s a wedding that your guests will remember and think about! Sure beats one of those tacky weddings that guests would talk about because of the inappropriateness of the bridal couple or because of someone else’s outrageous behavior. And your wedding might even be the cause of someone’s spiritual homecoming. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful effect of your marriage?

Though I agree that it is in poor taste for anyone to criticize the priest, and especially to you. But in this day and age, it is in vogue to be in sin and not shameful at all.
 
Perhaps your wedding invitation list was little too broad and inclusive. Since you and yr wife were “sending a message” with the choice of your priest and his sermon, it would have been more approrpriate to invite people who would have appreciated your message.
 
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TZiggy:
Satan would love for the truth to be stifled by merely insighting complaints. It’s much more comfortable to live in sin when it’s not pointed out to us.
What a wonderful gift you’ve been given on your wedding day.** I wonder how many souls were nudged in the right direction because they attended your wedding.**

CONGRATULATIONS!
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My thoughts exactly!

Congrats on your wedding…a marriage started out on this firm of a foundation is sure to be amazing…keep it up!

Malia
 
Say,

“Gee, I’m really sorry that you didn’t like it, since it was my idea. Did it strike a nerve somewhere?”
 
James_2:24:
He made everyone feel like they were going to hell.
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First, congratulations on your wedding!

I’d rather feel like I was going to hell, then to actually go there. If people feel bad, then they should ask themselves why. We all have sins that we’re just not ready to give up yet- but we have to- and sometimes it takes a tough homily or some tough words in the confessional to get us to turn our lives around. People shouldn’t feel ashamed. Shame is the work of the devil. Satan wants you to believe that your sins are too much for God to handle.
 
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