A
aerorider
Guest
hi… i am new to this forum so i hope i am doing this right. Sorry for the message length.
I am was born and raised catholic but for about the last 6 years i feel as though i have been pretty much going through the motions. I went to church pretty regularly but i think it was pretty much out of obligation and my morals showed for it. Two years ago i married a wonderful woman, whom i love, in the catholic church. Although she is not catholic herself, i find that she is much more moral in her ways than i. Before the marriage, I was completely honest with her in almost everything, however for obvious reasons, i failed to tell her about my sexual attractions towards the same sex (obviously another moral issue in itself that i have to deal with). Selfishly, I was hopeing and praying that getting married would help or solve this issue but unfortunately it did not. I eventually, had an affair with another man and since then i have confessed it multiple times to a priest and have spent many sleepless nights praying and asking for Gods forgiveness but i dont know if i can keep this guilt inside me. I feel as though the only way to relieve myself of this guilt is to tell my wife. I know for certain that if i did tell her she would leave (of which i do not blame her) only because her reaction when i recently told her of my attractions towards another of the same sex. I can only imagine the disgust most of you have reading this but, i am trying to face my faults and right the wrongs. I feel as though my marriage is a scam or invalid just from the fact that i with-held such important information, and the fact that i committed adultery even makes it worse. I am pretty depressed about this and have considered some extreme measures including suicide but i feel as though suicide is the one thing that is more selfish than commiting adultery. I dont know what to do. Do i tell my wife, and risk the great chance that she leave me, or do i continue to ask and pray to God for his forgiveness? Do i not tell her and continue to pray that God will make me everything that she needs in me to be a good husband? Do tell her and let her go so i am forced to face my sexual attractions alone? I know i completely deserve to be in the state of depression i am in (or even much worse) but if i could get a little guidance it would be greatly apprechiated. I do love her and i want to what is right.
Thank you
I am was born and raised catholic but for about the last 6 years i feel as though i have been pretty much going through the motions. I went to church pretty regularly but i think it was pretty much out of obligation and my morals showed for it. Two years ago i married a wonderful woman, whom i love, in the catholic church. Although she is not catholic herself, i find that she is much more moral in her ways than i. Before the marriage, I was completely honest with her in almost everything, however for obvious reasons, i failed to tell her about my sexual attractions towards the same sex (obviously another moral issue in itself that i have to deal with). Selfishly, I was hopeing and praying that getting married would help or solve this issue but unfortunately it did not. I eventually, had an affair with another man and since then i have confessed it multiple times to a priest and have spent many sleepless nights praying and asking for Gods forgiveness but i dont know if i can keep this guilt inside me. I feel as though the only way to relieve myself of this guilt is to tell my wife. I know for certain that if i did tell her she would leave (of which i do not blame her) only because her reaction when i recently told her of my attractions towards another of the same sex. I can only imagine the disgust most of you have reading this but, i am trying to face my faults and right the wrongs. I feel as though my marriage is a scam or invalid just from the fact that i with-held such important information, and the fact that i committed adultery even makes it worse. I am pretty depressed about this and have considered some extreme measures including suicide but i feel as though suicide is the one thing that is more selfish than commiting adultery. I dont know what to do. Do i tell my wife, and risk the great chance that she leave me, or do i continue to ask and pray to God for his forgiveness? Do i not tell her and continue to pray that God will make me everything that she needs in me to be a good husband? Do tell her and let her go so i am forced to face my sexual attractions alone? I know i completely deserve to be in the state of depression i am in (or even much worse) but if i could get a little guidance it would be greatly apprechiated. I do love her and i want to what is right.
Thank you