Marriage Confusion

[MariaTS]

They get benefits because male/female relationships have the possibility of producing children, which is a benefit to society as a whole. Studies have shown that children do the best in situations where both male and female parents are present.

There are about eight hundred thousand children in this country alone who no one will adopt. Male/male and female/female couples usually adopt children who are “unadoptable”. Male/female couples rarely adopt the children who are “unadoptable”, most of the “unadoptable” children are adopted by male/male and female/female couples. Studies have shown that children do best in situations with two female parents, followed by a male and a female parent, and then two male parents. Other studies have shown that children do best in situations with two white parents then with two black parents, should black couples then be prohibited from marrying or adopting?

 

[ComputerGeek25]

There are about eight hundred thousand children in this country alone who no one will adopt. Male/male and female/female couples usually adopt children who are “unadoptable”. Male/female couples rarely adopt the children who are “unadoptable”, most of the “unadoptable” children are adopted by male/male and female/female couples. Studies have shown that children do best in situations with two female parents, followed by a male and a female parent, and then a male and a male parent.

Please cite your souces.

 

[MariaTS]

You say it is defined by more than genetalia and chromosomes; then what is the definition of biology?

Is it to do with what we “identify” with ourselves; then what is to stop us “identifying” with animals or objects per se? What we “think” we are does not make us “what” we are.

Now; if you are physically a man; you can marry a woman in the Church. You can also have a civil marraige. Of course; your situation does pose complications with regards to your spouse; but if she willingly want’s to marry you then that should be fine.

I don’t think I am a woman, I know I am a woman, please get that through your head.

 

[ComputerGeek25]

I don’t think I am a woman, I know I am a woman, please get that through your head.

The evidence you have presented disagrees with you.

 

[MariaTS]

But you have an impediment to marriage. You are transgendered. You are born male, but think you are female. Do you see why the Church may not want to marry you?

Transgendered and Transsexual are two very different conditions, please do not confuse the two. I was born female and live as female.

 

[MariaTS]

MariaTS has the right to marry a woman in the Church.

However, prudence may dictate that it may not be a good idea.

No, I do not have the right to marry anyone in the church, please stop refusing to believe this even though you know it is true.

 

[MariaTS]

The evidence you have presented disagrees with you.

Just because I have a penis does not mean that I am not a girl.

 

[JohnDamian]

Just because I have a penis does not mean that I am not a girl.

I have asked for your “definition” of what it is to be a girl.

If you are not going to provide what you think the definition is; do not complain when me and the other people here agree with thousands of years of biology and science.

 

[PAboy57]

I don’t know who I would marry, I’m only an 18-year-old girl. I don’t think about whether I want to marry a man or a woman, I just know I want to marry the one I love and adopt children someday. I don’t know who I love yet. I live in the United States.

Maria,

The people on this site are very familiar with Church teachings and are conveying that to you. I don’t think you can resolve your situation here. It sounds like you may have been dealt a bad hand and will have to reach deep inside and pray to God for answers.

I do know that at 18 yrs of age you are at one of the most difficult times of your life and things aren’t easy. When I was 18 I bailed on God and it took a long time before I got on my knees, formally repented and accepted God, Church and the rules. It was tough living without God and I’m much happier with God, Church and rules.

Please find very good, Catholic spiritual counseling and work thru this in a face to face manner. I know God loves you and wants you to love Him and obey His commandments. You are going to have to work that out just like anyone else dealt a bad hand. You are not alone.

I pray that Jesus and our Blessed Mother give you all the Grace you require on your journey home.

MEMORARE,
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen

 

[PaulinVA]

Because of the Fall, Original Sin entered the world.

One of the consequences of Original Sin is that there are birth defects and all sorts of physical deformities, issues with gender, and mental illness. God did not intend this.

Some of these illnesses are treatable, some are not. People who dispute the physical evidence of their gender and instead claim to be the opposite gender are certainly in a terrible situation. Either their development went wrong in the womb or they are mentally ill.

Either situation isn’t good.

 

[faithfully]

Maria, I find this conversation fascinating.

I would like to understand you better as a person. You say that you know you’re a woman. And this is likely to sound insulting, but based on WHAT?

As a female… I am XX, I have a vagina and all the goodies that go with it. I have ovaries.I produce eggs. I have a menstrual cycle. I experience extreme pain during this cycle. I have breasts. They produced milk after PG. My hormones are bit out of whack. But I still have the hormones that make me female.

Are your hormones inline with a man or a woman? I know plenty of women whose hormones are a disaster for a variety of reasons (most likely due to SAD), they end up with masculine qualities, facial hair, male pattern baldness etc.

Do you produce sperm or eggs?

Are you feminine in appearance? (I’ve seen “men” that look more feminine that any woman I know.)

You speak as though you have medical confirmation that you are in fact a female with a penis. But I would imagine there has to be other factors that weigh in on the “female” component…

Can you provide the medical description for transgenders that you rely on?

 

[Crash001]

Not speaking for everyone, but I find this thread fascinating. Notice…I’m not swayed one way or the other on what is right/wrong, as I support the Church in her teaching.

Making things simple, it seems that if you did nothing from birth and then hit puberty, you would know if you are a man or woman (sperm producing = man, egg producing = woman)…anything else means that you probably should be celibate on all accounts. With some counciling, the other two could lead to a wonderful life with the opposite sex.

 

[adstrinity]

Why does it matter if I am pre-op or post-op? Anyways, I am non-op, because the surgery would be too dangerous for me and I don’t think I need to modify my genitals to be female.

It matters because you are a male and I am glad you have not mutilated yourself or disfigured what God created because of what you have been think you know.

 

[vz71]

Why am I not allowed to marry anyone?

You know, this was the question at the beginning.
The church does not single people out, the rules are the same for all.
It is not an injustice.

BUT…throughout this thread I see a constant confusion of who and what this individual is.
When I was married, the church required pre-marriage counseling. They wanted me to make certain I knew what I was getting into, that I understood the agreements I was making and that I was not only capable but also willing to fulfill the responsibility.
Given what I am seeing here, there is an easier answer.
I do not believe any responsible priest would marry someone that harbors so much confusion about self identity.
Beyond that, all of the OP questions are self-centered. “Why am I…Why can’t I…etc”
A marriage is not about “I”

It seems clear to me that not only is the individual misunderstanding themselves, they also have no understanding of marriage.

Wouldn’t it be irresponsible for anyone to allow a marriage under these circumstances?

 

[MariaTS]

Either their development went wrong in the womb or they are mentally ill.

Either situation isn’t good.

Well I’m not mentally ill, so its obviously developmental.

 

[MariaTS]

Beyond that, all of the OP questions are self-centered. “Why am I…Why can’t I…etc”
A marriage is not about “I”

It seems clear to me that not only is the individual misunderstanding themselves, they also have no understanding of marriage.

Wouldn’t it be irresponsible for anyone to allow a marriage under these circumstances?

If you think my question is self-centered just because I used the word I then you, obviously, do not understand the point of this topic.

I have a complete understanding of myself and I know what marriage is.

It is irresponsible for people like you to tell people whom they have a right to marry and whom they do not have a right to marry and whether they may marry or not.

 

[MariaTS]

I have asked for your “definition” of what it is to be a girl.

If you are not going to provide what you think the definition is; do not complain when me and the other people here agree with thousands of years of biology and science.

There is no scientific “definition” of what it is to be a girl because each girl is defined differently, every girl is different.

 

[MariaTS]

I pray that Jesus and our Blessed Mother give you all the Grace you require on your journey home.

If you are talking about a journey back to God, there is no journey back to God for me because I never left God, I never turned my back on God.

 

[MariaTS]

Maria, I find this conversation fascinating.

I would like to understand you better as a person. You say that you know you’re a woman. And this is likely to sound insulting, but based on WHAT?

Are your hormones inline with a man or a woman? I know plenty of women whose hormones are a disaster for a variety of reasons (most likely due to SAD), they end up with masculine qualities, facial hair, male pattern baldness etc.

Do you produce sperm or eggs?

Are you feminine in appearance? (I’ve seen “men” that look more feminine that any woman I know.)

You speak as though you have medical confirmation that you are in fact a female with a penis. But I would imagine there has to be other factors that weigh in on the “female” component…

Can you provide the medical description for transgenders that you rely on?

I know that I am a woman based on what God says and based on what Biology says.

No ones hormones are inline with man or woman because men and women both have testosterone and estrogen. But, if you are asking if I have more testosterone or estrogen in my body, currently I have more testosterone in my body. When I was born, I had more estrogen in my body.

I don’t produce either sperm or eggs, I am infertile.

Currently, I am feminine in appearance. When I was younger, I was androgynous in appearance.

There are more than just the factors that you have listed that make a person male or female.

I’m not transgendered (calling someone a transgender is derogatory even if they are transgendered, so is calling a group of people transgenders). I am transsexual, transsexual is not the same as transgendered. There is no medical description for a transsexual individual, currently, because the science of transsexualism is relatively new but they do know that it is biological.

 

[MariaTS]

It matters because you are a male and I am glad you have not mutilated yourself or disfigured what God created because of what you have been think you know.

First of all, I am not male.
Second of all, genital realignment surgery is not mutilation or disfiguration.
Third of all, God created me to be female.