Marriage in a Catholic church without the Priest?

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FAB said:
Oneofthewomen;8452196:
However, based on what the OP is asking, that is a moot point in this discussion because she does not want to follow the “rules & regulations” set forth by the Priest, which the Deacon would have to follow anyway.

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Thsi may not always be the case. I agree with the rules and regs my pastor has for the wedding ceremony, but as the official witness I also have the pastoral leeway to adjust the ceremony as I see fit for the couple.

Dcn FAB
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Thank you for clarifying a couple of things.

“Official witness”, that was the term I could not remember!! :doh2:

I would always assume that, through virture of the office, a Deacon has leeway, but that ultimately the Priest/Pastor had control over how things happened in his church, and that it would not be prudent for a Deacon (or anyone) to go against them. Is that correct?
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Oneofthewomen said:
FAB;8452491:
Thank you for clarifying a couple of things.

“Official witness”, that was the term I could not remember!! :doh2:

I would always assume that, through virture of the office, a Deacon has leeway, but that ultimately the Priest/Pastor had control over how things happened in his church, and that it would not be prudent for a Deacon (or anyone) to go against them. Is that correct?
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It depends on the Pastor and the relationship he has with his deacons. If there were somthing that I thought would be pastorally correct to do that knew he had a strong objection to, I would discuss it with him. In most cases though he would leave it to my decision as long as it was in line with the RITES of the Church.
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FAB said:
Oneofthewomen;8452588:
It depends on the Pastor and the relationship he has with his deacons. If there were somthing that I thought would be pastorally correct to do that knew he had a strong objection to, I would discuss it with him. In most cases though he would leave it to my decision as long as it was in line with the RITES of the Church.
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Thanks. This makes perfect sense to me! 🙂
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FAB said:
Oneofthewomen;8452588:
It depends on the Pastor and the relationship he has with his deacons. If there were somthing that I thought would be pastorally correct to do that knew he had a strong objection to, I would discuss it with him. In most cases though he would leave it to my decision as long as it was in line with the RITES of the Church.
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But ultimately, the pastor sets the rules for how all liturgy is conducted in the parish. A deacon, for example, could not override the pastor’s rules regarding wedding music, or modest dress or flowers even if those aren’t spelled out in the rites. Nor could he, on his own initiative, waive marriage prep requirements or shorten the time limits. If there is leeway, it is because the pastor allows leeway.
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Corki said:
FAB;8452604:
But ultimately, the pastor sets the rules for how all liturgy is conducted in the parish. A deacon, for example, could not override the pastor’s rules regarding wedding music, or modest dress or flowers even if those aren’t spelled out in the rites. Nor could he, on his own initiative, waive marriage prep requirements or shorten the time limits. If there is leeway, it is because the pastor allows leeway.
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The pastor may set rules but if he is a good pastor he sets them with the clergy in his parish. He does not take away another’s preist of deacon’s pastoral responsibilty to do what they see is best for a couple. For instance, in the case of a convalidation, it may be appropriate to shorten the preperation time.
There are also many adjustments that can be made for the cerimony. This is a day for the bride and groom and at times it is better to be flexable with the rules to make this sacrament one that will give the couple a good start to married life in the Church or to loose them.
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MissMasen said:
Hi everyone! I have a question regarding my wedding that’s taking place in April 2012. Has anyone ever heard of using a Catholic church as a site for the ceremony but, not using a Priest?
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Catholic churches are not usually used for nonCatholic purposes.
I’m attached to the building itself because it’s where my parents were wed and where the funerals for my maternal grandparents took place. I have not been in a while and there is now a new Priest. I’m not sure I can wholeheartedly agree to the rules and regulations he has set forth.
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Do you or your family know another priest or deacon? You could get married in that church but have your own Catholic priest/deacon officiate.
My fiance is not Catholic. I was thinking of maybe having a non-denominational officiant possibly? Thoughts and ideas? :confused:
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Since your fiance is not Catholic you can apply for a dispensation from canonical form which would then allow you to be validly married in your fiance’s church.
 
FAB said:
The pastor may set rules but if he is a good pastor he sets them with the clergy in his parish.
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I am thinking in terms of the OP. If she doesn’t like the rules the priest has put in place, it is unlikely that the rules are going to be different depending on which priest or deacon witnesses the wedding ceremony if it is still in the same parish.
 
Miss Masen, What are the rules and regulations that are a problem for you ?
 
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