Marriage problems etc

[jessica00200]

can you elaborate on specifically what triggers the “I’m leaving” threats and withdrawal of affection from your husband?

For the most part, I get jealous sometimes (but I think this stems from my insecurity with him. I never had a jealousy problem in my past relationship). Long story short I peeked at his phone and saw some conversations with a co-worker that seemed more than just professional. When I approached him about it, he denied anything. Well it continued so I texted her myself and gently reminded her that he’s a married man and the communication should stay professional. She got mad, told the boss. The boss chewed him out. Here we are. I since apologized profusely and told him it won’t happen again and next time I’ll just go directly to him. But all I’m hearing is “3 strikes you’re out. I’m leaving you when u get a job”.

 

[ThomasMT]

I would encourage some serious faith-based counciling. Perhaps you can get a recommendation or referral from your local parish? I’m sorry that you are going through this. It may take a lot of work and committment but you and your husband can get through this. I would also caution prudence when soliciting such advise on this forum. There is no shortage of secular viewpoints that could care less about the depth and nature of Matrimonial vows.

 

[jessica00200]

And yes I agree I need a job, most businesses are shut down so now isn’t good but it’s my goal.

 

[Irishmom2]

Yes, it’s a tough time to be looking.

 

[Psalm30]

For the most part, I get jealous sometimes (but I think this stems from my insecurity with him. I never had a jealousy problem in my past relationship). Long story short I peeked at his phone and saw some conversations with a co-worker that seemed more than just professional. When I approached him about it, he denied anything. Well it continued so I texted her myself and gently reminded her that he’s a married man and the communication should stay professional. She got mad, told the boss. The boss chewed him out. Here we are. I since apologized profusely and told him it won’t happen again and next time I’ll just go directly to him. But all I’m hearing is “3 strikes you’re out. I’m leaving you when u get a job”.

Well, he was certainly right to be angry about that. This is something you could have handled differently. It’s deeply hurtful when your spouse doesn’t trust you.

Although that doesn’t excuse his threats and withdrawal of affection, it sounds like both of you need to handle things differently. And that there are deep seated issues in your marriage—trust, emotional security—that need to be worked out. There are many online counseling options that don’t require going out of the house in our current world situation. There are also ways to make money from home. Might want to spend some time googling and researching both of those things.

 

[Legend]

Once you can, start going on job interviews. And don’t beg him for anything! He’s an abuser. It will be interesting to see how he behaves once you are working. But for now, stay safe. Maybe you could look on the internet for jobs that interest you.

God Bless, and stay safe!