The part that doesn’t add up to me is that as one who was ignorant of Catholic rules, I’m being held to a higher standard than a person born Catholic who should know better. Can someone explain why it is done that way?
Actually, you’re
both being held to the same high standard - a valid marriage is one in which both spouses consent, are free from impediment, and follow any applicable form for the ceremony. However, you’re comparing apples and oranges here.
In the case of the Catholic example you give, we’re talking about someone who didn’t even attempt a valid marriage. (Therefore, the marriage is, unsurprisingly, invalid.)
In your case, we’re talking about someone who
did attempt valid marriage, but later it became clear that it may not have been sacramental because of your spouse’s lack of consent.
In the first, there’s no attempt; in the second, there’s an attempt, but it appears to be an invalid attempt. Think of it this way: suppose you see two guys getting pulled over at a traffic check point. One guy doesn’t have a valid license; the other guy has a license and registration, but has been drinking. The first guy gets pulled out of his car and written up immediately; the second guy has to go through a process (field sobriety check, breathalizer, etc). Would you look at them and say, “hey! the second guy is being held to a higher standard!!!”…? Of course not: it’s obvious at a glance that the first guy didn’t even attempt to drive legally, so reaching that conclusion doesn’t take long. The second guy, however, seems (on the face of it) to be driving legally, so it takes more effort to determine whether he’s actually driving legally or not. (It’s not a precise example, but it comes close…)
You seem to be equating ‘ease of obtaining a nullity’ with ‘reason for obtaining a nullity.’ They aren’t the same thing.