Marriage vs. the Eucharist

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Raparte812

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So I have a question about your spouse, even though she isn’t Catholic not being able to take Communion.

We were married in the Catholic Church. She is a baptized Christian. If we are one in all ways according to our marriage vows and the Church why would it not be possible for her to take communion. I am a practicing and faithful Catholic. My wife is a baptized Christian. And if she is not allowed to because she is not Catholic, since we are one does that make me not fully in Union with the church?
 
That’s a great question!

Hopefully someone will have an answer that’s understandable. 😉
 
if you lived a holy life and went to Heaven but your wife decided to murder 10 people for money and wasn’t the least bit sorry and would do it again, would she still be on the fast track to heaven just because she was “one with you” and you were a holy guy?

“One flesh” means that once married, you are joined as a couple by God, and human authority such as the divorce court can’t divide you.

However, your individual acceptance of God, your own individual salvation, your own acceptance of the Church teaching is each of your own individual business. In order to receive the Eucharist, your wife has to accept the Church teaching herself and generally (with rare exceptions) become a member of the Church. She cannot simply receive Christ without understanding or fully believing in what she is doing (except for some rare exceptions which don’t generally apply).
 
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First, don’t over-philosophize the question.

To your specific question, I am going to assume that you attend the Novus Ordo liturgy,.

In the vernacular liturgy, the distributor, holding up the Eucharist says, “[This is] the Body of Christ.” And before one receives, one says “Amen! [I agree].”

Does your wife agree?

If not, she would have to lie before God in order to receive, and lying will not help your marriage out.

I say this as someone marrying a Protestant (albeit, one who is planning on becoming Catholic eventually once her family adjusts and we have more time for RCIA).
 
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Aspidistraflyer said:
To your specific question, I am going to assume that you attend the Novus Ordo liturgy,.

In the vernacular liturgy, the distributor, holding up the Eucharist says, “[This is] the Body of Christ.” And before one receives, one says “Amen! [I agree].”

Does your wife agree?

If not, she would have to lie before God in order to receive,
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I note that even if she agrees and totally believes that is the Body of Christ, that is generally not sufficient grounds to allow her to receive. There are rare exceptions where a non-Catholic spouse who believes in the Real Presence in the Eucharist at a Catholic Mass can receive Holy Communion; one is at the couple’s wedding if permitted by the priest; another is in certain dioceses where a bishop might permit it (I’m thinking mostly of the Germany situation involving some Lutherans married to Catholics). But usually you can’t just walk in, say you believe and receive if you’re a non-Catholic.

Of course you are also correct that if she DOESN’T believe in the Real Presence, she cannot receive, and that’s the end of it.
 
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I really don’t see what your difficulty is. Your wife’s case seems to be much as the same as my own. My wife is a cradle Catholic, I was baptized in infancy in the Anglican Church, and we were married in a Catholic church in what was then called a mixed marriage, with all the paperwork in order. Many years later I became a Catholic. Before my first Communion I wasn’t a Catholic and when I sometimes accompanied my wife to Mass, I never felt the slightest temptation to join the Communion line. That didn’t make us in any way less married.
 
Yeah, my husband never converted from Presbyterian, and he never had any wish to receive Catholic Holy Communion. He didn’t believe in the Real Presence and knew it was a sacrament for believing Catholics so he stayed in the pew and wasn’t bothered at all.

We were still totally married and in the Church too.
 
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I understand that she can’t and she has not. But sometimes I think it would be like going over to your families and sitting down and having a huge dinner with the best steaks (enter favorite dishes) and the best drinks then turning to your spouse and say hey by the way you can’t eat. But you can sit with us at the table or go sit in the living room.
 
Raparte812 said:
But sometimes I think it would be like going over to your families and sitting down and having a huge dinner with the best steaks (enter favorite dishes) and the best drinks then turning to your spouse and say hey by the way you can’t eat.
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With all due respect, this is totally missing the point of what the Mass is about.
It’s not a communal meal or a communal social event.
It is a chance for people who truly believe in Christ’s presence in the Host, and in his original Church, and the unbroken line of succession from St. Peter, to become physically one with Christ for the 15 minutes the Host lasts after you consume it.

If you’re thinking of it as a group steak dinner, that’s seriously problematic. And frankly, to me, just plain weird.

Jesus is not a rib eye.
 
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With all due respect, I think you missed my point. The point want about the meal but sharing or not sharing the most wonderful thing that has happened in human history. Your right he is not a steak he is far greater and more important to share than a steak dinner. It was more about being rude to our brothers and sisters in Christ and sharing the most miraculous part of our salvation. The dinner and steak was just a metaphor.
 
Raparte812 said:
It was more about being rude to our brothers and sisters in Christ and sharing the most miraculous part of our salvation. The dinner and steak was just a metaphor.
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It’s not “rude” that Protestants chose to leave our Church and in some cases engaged in centuries of conflict, sometimes bloody, sometimes political?

I know this is not your wife’s fault, but if non-Catholic Christians really desire union with Jesus, they can join the Church any time. The door is open to RCIA. If they don’t want to make that effort then it’s not “rude” to ask that they not share in our sacraments. It’s quite understandable.

The sense of entitlement that some people have to the Catholic Eucharist while freely rejecting doctrines and precepts of the Catholic Church right and left, to me is extremely rude.
 
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she has to believe what the church teaches about the sacrament.

I know everyone focuses on communion on these types of discussions, but the same applies to all the sacraments.
 
angell1 said:
I know everyone focuses on communion on these types of discussions, but the same applies to all the sacraments.
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Now that you bring that up, it’s kind of interesting how I never see a thread on non-Catholic Christians feeling left out because they can’t go to Confession. “Oh I don’t need that, I can just tell God my sins.”

They don’t seem to feel they missed out by not getting confirmed either. “Oh, who needs that, the Holy Spirit comes to me any time I ask.”

Do they call the priest for Anointing of the Sick when they are in danger of death? “Oh, I’m already saved, I don’t need that”.

Yet when it comes to Communion time, everybody feels left out.
 
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You are right of course about simple belief in the real presence to be insufficient grounds, but I think it is probably the case that she doesn’t have an identical understanding as Catholics have here.

Basic honesty and authenticity is usually the easiest way to explain closed communion, I find, so we should usually bring it up I think.

But you’re right, the situation may be different.
 
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What do you make of what I said? Does this way of seeing the question help at all?
 
During the Eucharistic prayer we always pray in union with the pope and the local bishop. But honestly, the OP’s wife is NOT praying in union with these people. So how can she say “amen” to something she doesn’t believe? It would be a lie. (And If she does believe in this union, why isn’t she Catholic?)
 
Raparte812 said:
So I have a question about your spouse, even though she isn’t Catholic not being able to take Communion.

We were married in the Catholic Church. She is a baptized Christian. If we are one in all ways according to our marriage vows and the Church why would it not be possible for her to take communion. I am a practicing and faithful Catholic. My wife is a baptized Christian. And if she is not allowed to because she is not Catholic, since we are one does that make me not fully in Union with the church?
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Although the marriage between two baptized is a sacrament, only those that are properly disposed receive an increase of sanctifying grace through it. Only one in a state of sanctifying grace is able to receive the Eucharist without eating and drinking condemnation. The Catholic Church has set specific requirements for non-Catholic reception of the Eucharist. One-flesh is not one in spirit.
 
Thank you for your heartfelt answer and so far the best explanation. Probably more questions to come.
 
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