Married at Singles Dance

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Yeah, who knows, chev. She might love dancing, can’t presume to know intentions. But, the OP seemed taken aback and a bit uncomfortable with the fact that she said she was married…so, my advice was based on that.

I think people like to be contrary just for the sake of it, to what I post on here these days…honestly. 😦

Oh well…my advice is my advice. We all have our opinions on things.
 
Magickman said:
I am a single guy, and I like to dance. Not all the time, but once or twice a month, I enjoy going out to a singles dance party, with a live band.

So that is what I did, last night.

At the party, a woman named Sue asked me to dance, and I agreed. We danced, both fast and slow, for a number of tunes, and then sat down to relax.

I should note that the nearly all the folks at these events just love to dance, and that the parties are also a hotbed for romance.

Sue was a great dancer, and had a very pleasant personality. I was considering asking her for a date.

Then, the hammer fell.

In conversation, Sue admitted to being married, and she said her non-dancing husband approves of her going out alone, to drink, and to dance with (strange) men.

I will admit to being slightly taken aback by the turn of events.

Assuming that Sue was telling the truth, she was out playing the field, while her husband was back at home.

What do the rest of you think, about a married woman going to singles dances and socializing as if she were single, herself?

Would you want your spouse doing this?/QUOTE]

:nope: and :nope:

'nuff said
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I would never go out like that without my DH. I might go out with a group of gals but never to a place that was for singles.

If DH went out and did that, he’d get the frying pan… :o
 
I’ve been following this post with interest. As a single person it is extremely difficult to meet single men in my town – it’s a college town so all the single men are usually college aged which I am not. So the fact that a married woman would present herself at one of these events is very disheartening – especially since the OP seemed to have taken an interest in her only to find out that she was not “available” for dating. I just find it very sad that someone would do that to singles – even though I’m sure she had no evil intentions.
 
Nanny_PK said:
I’ve been following this post with interest. As a single person it is extremely difficult to meet single men in my town – it’s a college town so all the single men are usually college aged which I am not. So the fact that a married woman would present herself at one of these events is very disheartening – especially since the OP seemed to have taken an interest in her only to find out that she was not “available” for dating. I just find it very sad that someone would do that to singles – even though I’m sure she had no evil intentions.
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D doesn’t hafta to worry about goin off dancin, cause I dance like Bill Cosby.

Well I dunno Paula, you could go out with a frat boy and come back tell us how it went just for grins. And then you could make a post on the other thread about dating a younger guy. LOL.

What about those guys that hang around Starbucks? Reckon they’d be any fun?
 
BamaRider said:
Well I dunno Paula, you could go out with a frat boy and come back tell us how it went just for grins. And then you could make a post on the other thread about dating a younger guy. LOL.

What about those guys that hang around Starbucks? Reckon they’d be any fun?
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Well, since I just broke up with my boyfriend, that might be a great idea.😃
 
Either she lies or they are one strange couple, no matter what it sounds like she is dangerous to be around. Stay away from that sort of people, run if you have to. Also I would be hurt and angry if my future wife were to do something like that, and would never do anything like that myself.
 
TLDenmark said:
Either she lies or they are one strange couple, no matter what it sounds like she is dangerous to be around. Stay away from that sort of people, run if you have to. Also I would be hurt and angry if my future wife were to do something like that, and would never do anything like that myself.
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The issue is she was at a singles dance – there’s no way to stay away from someone who’s holding themselves out to be something that they are not – at least initially.
 
Nanny_PK said:
The issue is she was at a singles dance – there’s no way to stay away from someone who’s holding themselves out to be something that they are not – at least initially.
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I know, and I too would have gone :bigyikes: if she had been dancing with me. But like the OP, it is at least possible to get yourself away from her when the truth gets out. Anyway I think it is similar to married men or woman having profiles on dating sites :mad:.
 
Well, since I just broke up with my boyfriend, that might be a great idea.
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So yes you’re gonna go out with a frat boy, or yes you’re goin down to Starbucks? You sure you wanna go out with a joker that hangs around Starbucks?
 
BamaRider said:
So yes you’re gonna go out with a frat boy, or yes you’re goin down to Starbucks? You sure you wanna go out with a joker that hangs around Starbucks?
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If it gets me free coffee??? Absolutely:D
 
I go out with my guy friends without my dh for dinner, etc. But even I find this a little odd. I wouldn’t go to a singles event unless perhaps one of my girlfriends just wanted me to go for moral support, but I’d definitely be up front about being married.

I don’t wear a wedding ring or band because when I was pregnant I had to have them cut off. We got it fixed and because its platinum it broke again and we just don’t have the money to fix it. So be careful of judging why a woman wouldn’t wear her’s because you never know the reason.
 
maria29 said:
I go out with my guy friends without my dh for dinner, etc. But even I find this a little odd. I wouldn’t go to a singles event unless perhaps one of my girlfriends just wanted me to go for moral support, but I’d definitely be up front about being married.

I don’t wear a wedding ring or band because when I was pregnant I had to have them cut off. We got it fixed and because its platinum it broke again and we just don’t have the money to fix it. So be careful of judging why a woman wouldn’t wear her’s because you never know the reason.
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I think there are many reasons why a person, male or female, would not wear their wedding ring. The problem in the OP’s post is that this woman evidently did not do anything at all to assert the fact that she was single. The fact that she was at a singles event without a ring would obviously make someone think that she was single.
 
whatevergirl said:
Yeah, who knows, chev. She might love dancing, can’t presume to know intentions. But, the OP seemed taken aback and a bit uncomfortable with the fact that she said she was married…so, my advice was based on that.

I think people like to be contrary just for the sake of it, to what I post on here these days…honestly. 😦

Oh well…my advice is my advice. We all have our opinions on things.
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Naww, my reply was just a suggestion to avoid judging and put the time and effort elsewhere. I certainly don’t feel great when I face such news myself.
 
I am dating and in a serious relationship and I wouldn’t do that. On occasion, my sister who is single likes to go out to places sort of like that; no dancing but plenty of flirting. The one time she convinced me to go, I felt very awkward and when guys did talk to me within the first sentence I told them I was in a relationship. What that woman did was very misleading.
 
dakotagirl said:
Whatev. I know plenty of peeps who just like to dance, married or otherwise. Invest yer energies elsewhere, yo.
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Dakota, I know you are talking to Bama and not to me, and I do not wish to come accross as intrusive, but would you please tell me why such a strong reaction to what Bama said? Things which are obvious are not normally so sensitive. It appears to me that the underlying sensitive spot might be rather material.
 
No, really…just what I said. Some people genuinely like to dance and wouldn’t microcontrol their wives that much I think.
 
dakotagirl said:
No, really…just what I said. Some people genuinely like to dance and wouldn’t microcontrol their wives that much I think.
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Well, I don’t want to impose my habits, but it does look rather weird. I don’t think I’m awfully controlling, but I would feel bad. May I ask how you would feel if it were your husband doing it? I’m not dealing with the morality of it, I’m looking into how it makes people feel. I must admit it would make me feel awkward, although if I were a big enthusiast or a half-professional and had a wife who didn’t like dancing, I would probably look on it differently. But I categorically don’t want to discuss the specific woman - she’s a private person, she doesn’t need to have her life delved into even by strangers she doesn’t know about.
 
This seems to be quite an interesting thread - especially since I love dancing and my husband’s not quite so keen! To me, it seems that the key part of this story is that it was a singles dance and the woman wasn’t open about being married.

If a married couple are both happy for one to go out dancing alone because that spouse loves dancing, then I can’t see anything wrong with that per se, assuming they talk about it honestly, but if an event is marketed as a singles event then the people who attend are justified in assuming that the other people there are single and that puts the onus on anyone who is not single to make that clear.

Ideally, as a married woman, I avoid a singles night. However, if the singles event were the only class on a day I could go (and I knew numbers were such that I wasn’t taking up someone else’s spot), I don’t think it would necessarily be an awful thing for me to go - but I would certainly have a duty to the other people there to make it clear that I am not single, especially if I didn’t wear a ring, so I definitely agree with noclevername who was very upfront about that fact when she went with a friend.

That said, I always wear my wedding and engagement rings, so I guess it wouldn’t be so much of an issue for me personally!
 
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