Married but Celibate

[Rita77]

It’s becoming alarming the amount of married Catholic couples that are celibate on here. Somewhere along the line, we as a Church are failing to preach healthy sexual values.

I will pray for you.

to VeritasLuxMea: you mean married abstinent couples not celibate but anyway why do you say the “Church” is the one at fault here. Somewhere along the line, maybe some (most) Catholic’s failed to follow and understand the Catholic church teachings on sexuality (1963?). were in church teachings is there preaching of unhealthy sex values? are you talking about homosexuality, masterbation, porn or something else? the church has taught the same thing for over 2000 years we are the ones that changed. so when did it happen? really our disagreement should be another thread so don’t answer here but start a new one VeritasLuxMea.

to the op I think you have gotton many good answers to talk about this with your wife etc. there are so many reasons why your wife may not want sex, you need to find out what it is and can or should it be fixed. your in my prayers.

 

[Luvz2travel]

It’s becoming alarming the amount of married Catholic couples that are celibate on here. Somewhere along the line, we as a Church are failing to preach healthy sexual values.

I will pray for you.

Ditto. I also wonder if it isn’t the influence of rising world selfishness or the high about of sexual abuse out there.

 

[Rita77]

Ditto. I also wonder if it isn’t the influence of rising world selfishness or the high about of sexual abuse out there.

so how is that the Church at fult sounds like we as a society are the ones at fult here

 

[chemoangel]

I am married and in the same situation, but we have worked around it. Does she perhaps, as “I” Do have a very serious medical condition that she does not know about? Has she gone for a check up? Perhaps there are other reasons for her decision. Yes, you can find out through counseling, only if she is willing to talk. Maybe it’s something that happened to her in childhood? Whatever it is, there is more to marriage than just sex…and I’m living proof.

 

[Musician]

Your wife is sinning by refusing you sexually. She needs prayers as well and will have some moral culpability for any sexual sins you fail to resist because she is denying you your conjugal rights.

There is a practice of Josephite marriages where the couples freely choose not to exercise their marital rights. This can only be done by mutual consent, and the Church greatly discourages it because it does tend to lead people into temptation when they are perfectly entitled to legimate sexual activity with their spouses.

I would urge you to pray to St. Joseph as well.

This.

 

[mini_me640]

Ditto. I also wonder if it isn’t the influence of rising world selfishness or the high about of sexual abuse out there.

I think he was trying to say that the Church (on a parish and individual level) doesn’t always discuss sex in marriage other than the idea of it being procreative so many Catholics have this idea that the Church views sex as something for reproduction only. I know many poorly Catechized Catholics who think the Church looks down on sex even in marriage. I know when I was doing my marriage prep the ONLY mention of sex was in the 15 minute speech on NFP.

 

[White_Peony]

Pray to St. Joseph. He would know…

 

[El_White]

You are being abused. She isn’t having sex with you because another man thrills her – whether or not she actually hooks up with him. You’re pushed down to her “friend only” list. She’s looking for better. In other words, she’s not faithful.

You should have left three years ago. If there’s some property issue that keeps you from divorcing her, then just get a mistress.

 

[Smugleaf]

You are being abused. She isn’t having sex with you because another man thrills her – whether or not she actually hooks up with him. You’re pushed down to her “friend only” list. She’s looking for better. In other words, she’s not faithful.

You should have left three years ago. If there’s some property issue that keeps you from divorcing her, then just get a mistress.

What on EARTH are you blabbering on about? Are you actually SERIOUS?

Plenty of people have no interest in sex. Just because you think everyone must have a desire for sexual activity that does not mean it’s the case. I cannot even understand how you go from “lack of interest” to “abuse” (what?!) and “OH NO SHE’S CHEATING”.

I cannot even begin to formulate a calm response to this. I can’t.

 

[El_White]

What on EARTH are you blabbering on about? Are you actually SERIOUS?

Plenty of people have no interest in sex. Just because you think everyone must have a desire for sexual activity that does not mean it’s the case. I cannot even understand how you go from “lack of interest” to “abuse” (what?!) and “OH NO SHE’S CHEATING”.

I cannot even begin to formulate a calm response to this. I can’t.

I guess that’s why you call yourself “smug.” People normally have no desire for sex, no appetite for food, no thirst for drink. Right?

 

[fgh_123]

It’s becoming alarming the amount of married Catholic couples that are celibate on here. Somewhere along the line, we as a Church are failing to preach healthy sexual values.

I will pray for you.

Mainly because we are so damn uptight about the whole affair, and the amount of rules and regulations is mind boggling.

Look at the current thread about someone allergic to semen and see how draconian some peoples approaches are!

Personally I believe in one man one women, married under God and who remain chaste to each other. What they get up to is their business as long as it dosen’t harm others.

 

[Smugleaf]

I guess that’s why you call yourself “smug.”

I guess that’s why I would call you “ignorant”. Also, my username is a reference to a fictional animal and has nothing to do with my personality. Really, in lieu of a good argument, you could have just… not said anything.

People normally have no desire for sex, no appetite for food, no thirst for drink. Right?

Wrong, actually. Sex is not necessary for survival. Food and drink generally are, barring a few saints who seemed to do fine without them. There are many without any sexual desire. Sometimes this is due to past experiences, sometimes it is simply because they are not interested. Please educate yourself before throwing around accusations of infidelity. You are the one acting smug here, might I add.

 

[Topaz1128]

Thank you to all who have replied. Although it’s taken me a while to reply, I have been pondering everything that you’ve mentioned.

I suppose there is more to marriage than sex, so I appreciate all of your comments, help, and prayers.

 

[ValPal]

There are a few issues going on her, which have been mentioned by others. The major one I see is the lack of communication. Spouses MUST communicate with each other, especially on important matters such as this. My opinion is that counseling is in order. Speak to a priest further guidance.

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

so how is that the Church at fult sounds like we as a society are the ones at fult here

We are the Church, Rita.