Married Individuals

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Is it a sin to find a married man attractive as long as you don’t act on your attraction? As far as I know he is perfectly happy in his marriage but I can’t help finding him attractive (NOT just physically). He is very sweet and has a great personality to. Of course I have not told him and I don’t plan on but we have talked about relationships and I told him (giving him a hint) that I am not a homewrecker. I do think though that my actions may give something away that I find him attractive. Not sure what to do…I always thought you couldn’t help who you were attracted to…
 
I think you are correct in that you can’t help what you are attracted to, but you can help putting yourself in situations that may be an occassion of sin for you or for others. I would just say this, tread very carefully. If you really are attracted to them in a way that is innapropriate I would end the relationship or be sure to avoid ever putting yourself in a situation where you may commit a sin. The fact that you dropped a “hint” infers to me that you may be willing to do something innapropriate in a moment of weakness. That’s very dangerous ground. This is very serious ground and very serious sins can result from it, even if there is no intention right now to commit a sin. Not to mention the damage that can be done.

I know it’s difficult. I will pray for you.
 
Thank you. He is married and has a son. I would never begin a relationship with anyone who is married because I would not like it if it was my husband and someone else.
I guess you could classify our “relationship” as a personal one. He is employed somewhere and I am interning there and that is it. I will be done interning there in a month. Unless I apply and am hired there, there is a slim chance I will see him again. However I can’t say I wouldn’t mind having him as a friend even though I find him attractive. In the past I have found several of my friends attractive at some point but now they are just friends. As far as the sin that can result from this, I understand BUT I can honestly say I am a virgin and while I can’t say for sure, I think he knows. During our discussions, I have told him I have never been in a relationship and I don’t sleep around with people. I guess all I can do at this point is pray.
 
Finding attractive men, well, attractive, is not a sin. I would caution you that you may be getting into conversations that are too personal especially since he is a married man. You never know that you might be encouraging him to look at you in a romantic way. He may find that very ego stroking if he senses that you find him attractive. I wouldn’t recommend discussing private matters that may encourage emotional bonding.
 
There are saints that I find attractive and am currently pursuing intimate relations with them.

😃

P.S. Both sexes 😉
 
I personally believe that it is inadvisable to hang around married people of the opposite sex that one is attracted to, due to temptation. In some cases, such as in a work situation, where contact is unavoidable, keep it professional, and avoid the personal conversations or any other conversation that can be taken the wrong way.
 
I think you should avoid him and any discussions on relationship. Emotional affairs start easily and insidiously. Emotional affairs can escalate to physical affairs, but both are adultery, both undermine the marriage and drain the feelings and attention that should go to the spouse.
Don’t underestimate the impact of of body language and of non-verbal communication.

**"The power of nonverbal communication and body language

Nonverbal communication, or body language, is a vital form of communication. When we interact with others, we continuously give and receive countless wordless signals. All of our nonverbal behaviors—the gestures we make, the way we sit, how fast or how loud we talk, how close we stand, how much eye contact we make—send strong messages.

The way you listen, look, move, and react tell the other person whether or not you care and how well you’re listening. The nonverbal signals you send either produce a sense of interest, trust, and desire for connection—or they generate disinterest, distrust, and confusion. "** helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm

Matthew 5:28 Jesus said "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

James 1:15 "Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."
 
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