married outside of the church

[joanofarc2008]

I know that nothing comes easy and I am very good at working very hard to achieve something that is important. That said, you don’t always get what you want or think you need. An annulment is not always granted no matter how hard you try and pray for. My understanding is that the Church is getting tougher in granting them. I certainly don’t want to lie or even stretch the truth to try and convince a tribunal to grant one. I know there are even professional writers out there, who for a fee, will write up your declarations to slant things in your favor much as you do in a law suit. The whole process is troublesome to me.
My point is I guess the Church would rather have me divorce my current wonderful wife of 18 years who has been every much a mother to her step-children and just be alone and wreck not only my life but those around me. Reuniting with my first wife who had my children and left us physically but not financially when they were infants for her own reasons 27 years ago is not an option. The bible says not to do a lot of things and if you violate them you can still be forgiven if you sincerely repent and ask Gods forgiveness but I guess not if you make an unknowing mistake in choosing the wrong marriage partner.

No the Church would like you to honestly look into whether or not your first marriage was valid. The Church would like those of us who do become divorced to get our answers before making decisions that will impact our Sacramental status. The Church would like us to follow the Scriptural teachings. Yes, if I do not get my decree of nullity I will be alone because that is what I promised to do when I was married. If I promised something else than I would need to look at my own understanding of marriage at the time and maybe this is the crux of the problem. No one understands marriage anymore,.

 

[mamaslo]

I know that nothing comes easy and I am very good at working very hard to achieve something that is important. That said, you don’t always get what you want or think you need. An annulment is not always granted no matter how hard you try and pray for. My understanding is that the Church is getting tougher in granting them. I certainly don’t want to lie or even stretch the truth to try and convince a tribunal to grant one. I know there are even professional writers out there, who for a fee, will write up your declarations to slant things in your favor much as you do in a law suit. The whole process is troublesome to me.
My point is I guess the Church would rather have me divorce my current wonderful wife of 18 years who has been every much a mother to her step-children and just be alone and wreck not only my life but those around me. Reuniting with my first wife who had my children and left us physically but not financially when they were infants for her own reasons 27 years ago is not an option. The bible says not to do a lot of things and if you violate them you can still be forgiven if you sincerely repent and ask Gods forgiveness but I guess not if you make an unknowing mistake in choosing the wrong marriage partner.

Have you tried, yet? There is an aweful lot of anger at the church when all they are doing is trying to protect the deposit of faith and your soul…and the soul of your wife, and etc.
I don’t ask you this to be cantankerous, but have you started your paperwork yet? The church would like us all to be as whole as possible in a fallen world. it may not feel like it but it is the truth.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

I guess my frustration is that in a time when the Catholic Church has advertisements on TV to ask non-active Catholics to come back to the Church I see nothing but roadblocks to do just that. My wife and I have done many things in the past few years to be good Catholics. We contribute in many ways. Again, I have done wrong in the past and I am asking Jesus to forgive me and to allow me to follow him from this day forward. Why does something I did 35 years ago prevent His forgiveness now? The New Testament doesn’t seem that complicated. Not many “laws” to follow. I’m not sure why the Catholic Church has to make it so complicated.

The Catholic Can Come Home program helps people come back to the church. It is a very good program and they help people to deal with any marriage issues. Did you go to one when you came back or were they available? Having gone to one would/should have then informed you of your situation. It’s a very good program and I went through it.

That does not mean that you are not forgiven for many other things. Please work to start the paperwork. I know of a couple in our parish and he won’t start the paperwork…I don’t get it…if anything was coming between me and the Eucharist I would make sure it was taken care of.

 

[Vico]

I guess my frustration is that in a time when the Catholic Church has advertisements on TV to ask non-active Catholics to come back to the Church I see nothing but roadblocks to do just that. My wife and I have done many things in the past few years to be good Catholics. We contribute in many ways. Again, I have done wrong in the past and I am asking Jesus to forgive me and to allow me to follow him from this day forward. Why does something I did 35 years ago prevent His forgiveness now? The New Testament doesn’t seem that complicated. Not many “laws” to follow. I’m not sure why the Catholic Church has to make it so complicated.

Changing is a difficult thing.

It is not something done 35 years ago that is the difficulty, but the current behavior and habits established from the past. the forgiveness it freely given when the individual reasserts charity towards God and we have contrition. So forgiveness requires metanoia (“change in the way of thinking”). True contrition means we regret and intend to not repeat the same sin again.

The Gospel is exacting on the issue of marriage. Matt 19:8-9

 

[meena430]

I spoke to my priest and all I need is a convalidation I am so happy I first wanted to rejoin the church in Dec 2010 but was told I must wait for the new round of RCIA classes that would
start in Fall 2011. I was very disappointed that I would have to wait so long to be confirmed but I understood that it was important for me to learn what it meant to be Catholic by going to these classes which I have enjoyed immensely. It has been a long and difficult journey but I am close to my goal of being confirmed into the church and I am so glad I persevered. They say nothing worthwhile is ever easy so I urge those who are frustrated to keep that in mind and also keep in mind that the end result will be worthwhile God bless you all

 

[anp1215]

I spoke to my priest and all I need is a convalidation I am so happy I first wanted to rejoin the church in Dec 2010 but was told I must wait for the new round of RCIA classes that would
start in Fall 2011. I was very disappointed that I would have to wait so long to be confirmed but I understood that it was important for me to learn what it meant to be Catholic by going to these classes which I have enjoyed immensely. It has been a long and difficult journey but I am close to my goal of being confirmed into the church and I am so glad I persevered. They say nothing worthwhile is ever easy so I urge those who are frustrated to keep that in mind and also keep in mind that the end result will be worthwhile God bless you all

I am so happy for you…may God bless you!

 

[joanofarc2008]

I spoke to my priest and all I need is a convalidation I am so happy I first wanted to rejoin the church in Dec 2010 but was told I must wait for the new round of RCIA classes that would
start in Fall 2011. I was very disappointed that I would have to wait so long to be confirmed but I understood that it was important for me to learn what it meant to be Catholic by going to these classes which I have enjoyed immensely. It has been a long and difficult journey but I am close to my goal of being confirmed into the church and I am so glad I persevered. They say nothing worthwhile is ever easy so I urge those who are frustrated to keep that in mind and also keep in mind that the end result will be worthwhile God bless you all

Congratulations and God bless.