mosher:
OTM:
The role of the priest in assisting married couples is to give the ought … which if you have read anything that JPII wrote about marriage then you will know that even silly celebate old men know a whole heck of a lot about marriage.
On your second point it is not an urban legand. As one who was studying to be a priest I can assure you of that. I have a dear priest friend of mine who is a widower who was approached one day in the Sacristy with this same question. He stopped, paused. looked at the man and said, “Well, I’ve been married, and I am a priest and I can tell you that there is great wisdom in what the Chruch directs. Having done both I know that I could not do both well at the same time.”
I am friends with his daughter and can attest to him being a good father and husband. This man is more qualified than any to speak on this subject and because his personal experience I have never forgotten what he said that day.
Veritas
I would disagree that he is more qualified than any, as others will attest that it is a difficult, but not impossible task. Are there more demands on a married priest than a single one? Absolutely no question. and the demands are no less on other professionals, who would often say the same thing your priest friend said - that it would be much easier to be celibate than married, with the demands that a career and family make.
I haved no problem at all with celibacy. I also have no problem at all with ordaining married men. I do fail to see how someone who was a pastor and married, then converts, is any better candidate for the priesthood than is a cradle Catholic who marries, and then expresses a calling to the priesthood.
If you are called to be celibate and called to the priesthood, that is wonderful. Celibacy is a great witness to the Church and to the world. Celibacy, however, is a charism not all are given, and is not intrinsic to the priesthood.
As an aside, I have seen priests who, no matter the amount of time planning applied, are truly busy to the point of having little or no personal time. I have also observed a number of priests who allow the tasks at hand to fill the time span; in other words, they are (politely put) inefficient. The time demands are much greater than a forty hour work week, no question. But I have seen all too many who have no sense of time control or constraints. Perhaps the silence is too deafening.
And please do not misconstrue that I am suggesting that they be short with someone that needs counseling, or abrupt with Confessions, e.g.
As I say, where did we get the urban legend that a apriest is busy 24/7?