Married vows health

  • Thread starter Thread starter irishguy1970
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actually we have been to therapy and it improves for a bit - then it goes back to the same ----- I love her I really do or i woud be here 20 years later with the same issue — it just gets ---- heavy at times
 
How about you both go to the gym together and in exchange you take over one of her duties around the house? Like washing dishes or doing laundry?
 
She asked me to prep for her write a workout for her - get her a membership — so I did – -she has been once in 60 days ----- I am at a loss
 
irishguy1970 said:
She asked me to prep for her write a workout for her
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Well, that’s good! And a sign she is wanting to do something. Did you ask her about how it was?

I wouldn’t rule out her being stressed or having depression. Maybe you could gently broach it with her?
 
As someone who suffers from depression, I strongly urge you to take her to her doctor to discuss the possibility. There are many medications available to help beat depression. Sometimes you have to try several to find one that works, or adjust the dosage. Be patient and supportive. My wife was with me and our marriage is amazing now.
 
its jsut hard - I am so physical — I dont expect that from her but health ------ we have 3 kids - I want her there for them - i want her to set a good example of health… I want my best freind to do the thing I like to do — which she used to like to do and then jsut stopped
 
I did go with her ----- I train her and many others ---- she hayes physical activity now — she used to love it
 
Don’t you think she wants her best friend to do the things she likes to do too? What do you do that she likes?
 
irishguy1970 said:
I want her there for them - i want her to set a good example of health… I want my best freind to do the thing I like to do — which she used to like to do and then jsut stopped
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That is completely understandable, and I do sympathise with you a lot.

When you say she just stopped - when was this? How long ago? Was it a gradual thing or abrupt?
 
jlc2k2 said:
Don’t you think she wants her best friend to do the things she likes to do too? What do you do that she likes?
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I agree, OP, definitely make an effort to do something with her she enjoys. She might feel better about reciprocating if you do.
 
thats just it — she doesn’t dooo anything but play on her phone - hell I used to craftbook with her
 
I bet if you did some of her chores she’d probably be happier to go work out
 
Then have a rule where you don’t use your phone/internet at night after work or something
 
Well maybe she does more than just that. She takes care of the kids? What about finances? Bills? What responsibilities does she have?
 
What if the roles were reversed? Would you expect her to leave if you gained weight? Do you think she has gained weight intentionally? I do think`you need to change how your view about your wife. She did not gain 100 lbs overnight. Life happens. Neither of you are the same as you were when your first married. She knows how you view her and how you feel about her. That’s pretty difficult to wake up to every day. Consider how you are enabling her - who goes out and buys groceries? Priest, medical doctor, counseling for both of you, but with love on repairing your thoughts and marriage, not justification on leaving.
 
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