Mary's perpetual virginity

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Dear Sheparard,

I am shocked by what you say about Jews!

“You know, I have read that passage of Torah many times, and not once did it ever occur to me that virginity during marriage would be included in that, because as a Jew I know that a vow of virginity during marriage is not possible according to Jewish Law…and evidently Jewish scholars agree with me, because in the commentaries for that passage, I have read that it does not include any vow that cannot legally be performed by a woman (such as a vow of virginity in marriage, because to do so runs counter to Jewish Law…it would be like a woman vowing to eat pork.)”

I should tell you I have Jewish family members, Orthodox actually and one relative a Rabbi, so I know what I’m talking about, but they would be very insulted by what you have said. It in fact, isn’t true. There have been many Jewish marriages of “convienence,” past, present, and future, God willing! And it isn’t simply a woman’s choice, men make the same vows. Your tone makes it sound as if sex is the duty of every good Jewish woman and Mary would’ve been somehow sinful for maintaining a virginal state for herself. This is not only insulting to me as a Christian of Jewish origin, but also as a woman!

I think you need to re-evalute your basic understanding of the roles of women in society and need to get to know a few Jews on a day to day basis before you try to speak for them as an authority.

Peace,

Gail
I think you need to get a firm grasp on how things were in ANCIENT times. Your problem is not with me, but with what the Torah plainly teaches. And as for “getting to know a few Jews”…lady, I live in a Chasidic Orthodox Jewish community currently, and was raised as an Orthodox Jew. Judaism is not developed based on “what some Jews think” but on Halacha (which is Jewish Law.) Only the Reform adopt their beliefs via taking a majority vote.

BTW as I have said many times on here, having “Jewish family members”, even “Orthodox”, does not a knowledgeable Jewish person make. My husband, a convert to Judaism, counts among his family members many bornagain Christians and one preacher. But that doesn’t mean I would consult him as an expert on Christianity.
 
Depends on whether you think a marriage is invalid without consummation. 🤷

Certainly the NT is clear enough that Mary and Joseph didn’t consummate at least until Jesus was born. You think they’d choose to live together in an invalid marital relationship for all that time? God Himself, through the Angel, told Joseph that it was OK to do so, HE wouldn’t tolerate an invalid relationship between them, Im sure.
absolutely I believe God allowed Mary to remain a virgin “UNTIL” Jesus was born.

This is EXACTLY what scripture tells you.

I am thrilled that you chose that word. It means something.

But no where, in the final authority of God’s word does does it even hint at her virginity within her marriage with Joseph after Christ was born.
 
Well then Sepharad,

Then you should know about marriage of convienence and how virginity is and was esteemed by Jews. If not, then the “community” you belong to is remiss! I think, it is you who need to study more and ask other Jews about this and not those who think as you do. Time to step out of the box!

I would add here, this is a demonstration of how our sexually saturated society has colored the thinking of many, many peoples, not just us Christians. Thinking of life without sex isn’t part of the make up of the cultural mind-set anymore.

Peace,

Gail
 
Well then Sepharad,

Then you should know about marriage of convienence and how virginity is and was esteemed by Jews. If not, then the “community” you belong to is remiss! I think, it is you who need to study more and ask other Jews about this and not those who think as you do. Time to step out of the box!

I would add here, this is a demonstration of how our sexually saturated society has colored the thinking of many, many peoples, not just us Christians. Thinking of life without sex isn’t part of the make up of the cultural mind-set anymore.

Peace,

Gail
Sex is not dirty; it is a beautiful thing between husband and wife. Judaism has always recognized this, unlike some sects of Christianity.

There is only one Halacha (Jewish Law). For thousands of years there has been only one that is traditionally recognized and binding.

Why do you need to believe that Mary abstained from sex forever to see her as holy? Do you see sex as sinful? Do you think people who have sex cannot be holy? Is this why the Latin Rite of the Catholic church commands celibacy for their priests, monks and nuns? If I were a Christian, I would see Mary as a holy woman regardless of whether I felt she was perpetually a virgin or not…because I don’t equate lack of sex with holiness, quite the contrary.

Do you see what I’m getting at?
 
Dear clh1217,

Again I repeat: “What I would like to say about your postition, mostly sola scriptura, is that no where in the Bible itself does it state that the Bible is the sole authority on the living of one’s faith. Neither did Jesus teach this to His disciples when He walked the earth. He never gave dictation, nor instructed anyone to write anything down while His preaching mission was underway. In fact, if you read ALL the Bible, the whole thing from cover to cover, you will find the protestant dogma of sola scriptura refuted. It does in fact, state that not everthing Jesus did and said is contained in Scripture.”

If you cling to Scripture as the “sole authority” where can you point to in Scripture that states that fact? It doesn’t and if your Bible said something to the contrary, would you change your point of view?

Peace,

Gail
Hey…you are free to be a sell out if you chose to be. I have no problem with that.

God either lied about His words or He didn’t.

God either did what He said He would do or He didn’t.

Either a scholar is smart enough to correct what God did or he isn’t.

You either have a plain, pure, inspired, preserved copy of scripture or you are a free agent,*** without FINAL AUTHORITY***.

Initially the apostles taught orally, but with the close of the apostolic age, all special revelation that God wanted preserved for man was codified in the written Scriptures.

ALL.

Sola Scriptura is the teaching, founded on the Scriptures themselves, that there is only one special revelation from God that man possesses today, the written Scriptures or the Bible.

Consequently the Scriptures are materially sufficient and are by their very nature (as being inspired by God) the ultimate authority for the Church.

This means that there is no portion of that revelation which has been preserved in the form of oral tradition independent of Scripture.

We do not possess any oral teaching of an Apostle today.

Only Scripture therefore records for us the apostolic teaching and the final revelation of God.
 
Well then Sepharad,

Then you should know about marriage of convienence and how virginity is and was esteemed by Jews. If not, then the “community” you belong to is remiss! I think, it is you who need to study more and ask other Jews about this and not those who think as you do. Time to step out of the box!

I would add here, this is a demonstration of how our sexually saturated society has colored the thinking of many, many peoples, not just us Christians. Thinking of life without sex isn’t part of the make up of the cultural mind-set anymore.

Peace,

Gail
do you have proof of it being culturally acceptable to have a marrieage WITHOUT consumation considering Mary and Joseph?
 
Initially the apostles taught orally, but with the close of the apostolic age, all special revelation that God wanted preserved for man was codified in the written Scriptures.

ALL.
Says who? Talk about thinking you can improve on what God actually wrote - and that without the slightest shred of authority of any kind to do so.

The Bible itself certainly indicates absolutely nowhere that it is the final and complete record of all special revelation. On the contrary there are places (the end of John’s Gospel for instance) where it indicates that it is INcomplete in many respects.

It’s totally illogical to think the Bible is a complete when not a single word is recorded of what some of the Apostles even said. Are we to assume that there is even a single one of the twelve who had absolutely nothing of any importance to teach us and that their words are unrecorded because they were irrelevant? Say it ain’t so - why did Jesus even bother to call them to be Apostles if this was the case?

If it were so, if scripture WAS the final and complete record of all revelation, then Timothy would say that it is the BIBLE which is the pillar and bulwark of the Truth, and not the Church.
 
clh1217 said: Initially the apostles taught orally, but with the close of the apostolic age, all special revelation that God wanted preserved for man was codified in the written Scriptures.
Sola Scriptura is the teaching, founded on the Scriptures themselves, that there is only one special revelation from God that man possesses today, the written Scriptures or the Bible.
Where is all of that stated in scripture? I am just curious because I could not find it stated how you interpret it. 🙂
 
Reading the Acts of the Apostles, we can clearly discern the coming to life of the Church. What Jesus left behind to carry on his works and his words was no abstract scheme, outline, plan, or book but rather an *organized *community of believers. As far as we know, Jesus himself wrote nothing down, except with his finger on the ground when the Pharisees brought the adulterous woman to him for judgment (cf. Jn 8:6).
It is one of the strangest paradoxes in history that many of his sincere followers have *imagined *that Jesus is chiefly to be encountered in a book. Even though the book in question, the New Testament, is an inspired one, and even though Jesus is to be encountered there, the New Testament is far from the only place where Jesus is to be encountered.
We should also bear in mind that not all of the New Testament was written by Jesus’ direct disciples; in some cases it was written by their disciples. What the New Testament contains, in other words, was handed on. What was then written down has been handed on further in the Church. In other words, Jesus committed his teaching, not merely to the pages of a book, but to living men who handed it on to others.
Even the great apostle Paul, chosen by Jesus to carry the faith to the gentiles, recipient and beneficiary of a special revelation from the risen Jesus—even St. Paul wrote that he had delivered what he also received (cf. 1Cor 15:3), meaning what he received from the living tradition of the *Church *already active when he joined Christ’s followers.
It is true that Jesus sent his Spirit to St. Paul and to the other New Testament writers in a special way in order to insure that they would deliver his message accurately. That is one of the things meant by “inspiration” in the New Testament. The New Testament books constitute an inspired record of what Jesus said and did on earth among us but this is primarily because they are the record of what the living Church that Jesus left behind continued to teach and preach about him after he ascended into heaven. The Church was already operating before the books of the New Testament were written.
 
If I may, to Sepharad, Gail, Lily et. al, I would like to point out something which Sepharad has said (and implied as being a late addition to Christianity): That is, that she believes Christians think of sex as ‘dirty’ and that the perpetual virginity of Mary came out of this. from Sepharad . . .
stems from the ancient and medieval Catholic view of sex as sinful, even in marriage,except for procreation (a view advocated by Catholic clergy, esp. Pope Gregory the Great).
First, while some individual Christians at any period of time (including this one) might have ‘thought’ such a thing, fact is, there is no documentation that this has ever been an infallible, dogmatic interpretation ‘to be believed’ and given dogmatic pronouncement of “thou shalt believe this”. Ever. I believe that reading documents in context (both of the times and especially of to WHOM they were written–) is necessary; pulling a quote from a Pope without such critical reading just leads to confusion as we see.

In fact, the people for whom ‘flesh’ per se was considered ‘dirty’ were such heretics as the Albigensians and others. While the Albigensians were more ones to consider sex as okay (if the couple were NOT married) and that marriage was somehow the dirty part, the fact is, they were among the ones who ‘split’ the idea of flesh and spirit into “Spirit good, flesh BAD”. This was never authentic Christian belief.

Second, Sepharad mentions both an earlier (how early is debatable with the use of Pope Gregory, 8th century being on the cusp of end of Dark Ages start of early Middle ages) and a ‘later’ (Medieval) time frame for this ‘push’ to ‘make’ Mary ever-virgin. But a quick glimpse of the library here at CA (and elsewhere on the ‘net’) indicates that Mary’s perpetual virginity was a part of Christian teaching from the beginning --that is to say, from the earliest records we have, such as the second century AD–WELL BEFORE the so-called Medieval ‘sex is dirty’ accusations against Christians.

IOW, the teaching of the PV dates back to the beginning of Christian teaching, and is not ‘made up of whole cloth’ or somewhat thrust into exaggerated prominence to further the ambitions of the ‘sex is dirty’ crowd (themselves mostly putative at that); what may have happened is that, coupled with a variety of other factors including cultural, sociological, economic, literary, etc. that the actual TEACHING of the PV EXISTED FIRST, and (as can happen to any authentic teaching any time) there may (MAY) have been certain individuals who attempted to misuse that teaching. Those attempts however neither invalidate the teaching or make it suspect BECAUSE of the ones who misused it.

Finally, without going into TMI (too much information): Even we (horrors) celibate Catholics of longstanding do not think that sex is dirty. It is a beautiful gift God has given to be itself given as a gift by husband and wife to each other, as He Himself wished to be done (male and female He created them). Certainly it has been twisted by many individuals who have misused it and misunderstood it but individuals can do such to any and ALL aspects of God’s creation, sadly enough.

Celibacy itself as as ‘natural’ to the unmarried person as the sexual act is to the married persons. We are all called to chastity and continence, whether we are married or not married. What is unnatural, even evil, is to separate sex from its God-given role as gift of spouses and attempt to make it ‘only’ about giving ‘pleasure’ or being an ‘action’ between two beings who are not united in authentic matrimony with each other or, if they are, using it not as gift but as weapon or hurt. That is evil. Celibacy and continent behavior are not.
 
Depends on whether you think a marriage is invalid without consummation. 🤷

Certainly the NT is clear enough that Mary and Joseph didn’t consummate at least until Jesus was born. You think they’d choose to live together in an invalid marital relationship for all that time? God Himself, through the Angel, told Joseph that it was OK to do so, HE wouldn’t tolerate an invalid relationship between them, Im sure.
I’m amused at all this talk (not by you) about how the marriage of Joseph and Mary wouldn’t be normal unless they had sex. Well excuse me, but how many normal marriages have the woman conceiving by one not her husband? How many normal marriages have the woman bearing the Son of God, the Messiah, the Savior of the World? 🙂

C’mon people, the marriage of Joseph and Mary was not a normal marriage. Is there anything more obvious to a Christian than that fact? So why this flurry of attempts to make it suddenly “normal” after it started out as the most unique marriage in all of history? Why in the world would anybody think their marriage had to suddenly become “normal” after they came together to bring the very Son of God into the world? You can have normal or you can have the Incarnation, take your pick.
 
we will have to disagree.
As it seems we will, though your position holds no substance…sorry
Her PV is no where mentioned, nor celebrated as you do within the CC.
Based on your “scripture interpretations” and your denials? Hardly valid proofs on any level…though there are others that do accept the facts.
about the mysteries?
**As to the “chink in your armor”…there must be, you admitted that there are “mysteries”…oh my gosh!!:eek: **
LOL…no…
**Oh, but yes…there is…😃 Gotcha!! Toooo late to backpedal now!! **😃
and who gives you authority to interpret??
Me, I do not, nor will I ever “interpret” scripture…ani’t happening…and at the end…I’ll tell you why, and show you the actual real honest to gosh “Biblical reason for not doing so”! Oh, I might “express” an opinion…but I will make it clear that it is only “my opinion”!
Scripture speaks NOT of her virginity with the SOLE exception that she was a virgin when the HS came upon her.
End of it.
Not really…except to you and your band of people. I find it interesting that you take the position that you are “intellectually superior to the very people who are responsible for your religion”… Isn’t that a tad arrogant and foolhardy?
why am I in no position, but you are? Because you have the CC behind you?
Sorry…God doesn’t live in the RCC sized monstrance…
How do you know? Are you sure? What actual and finite empirical proofs do you have? Do you know all? Your word is the final word? Nope, thats a box of dirt no-one will buy. Sorry.

Now…here’s why I will not, and do not “interpret scripture”…:

20 Understanding this first, that no prophecy of scripture is made by private interpretation. and…21 For prophecy came not by the will of man at any time: but the holy men of God spoke, inspired by the Holy Ghost.

Now…that comes from 2 Peter 20…followed by 2 Peter 21…and its meaning to me is as clear as can be… Now, here is the relevant meaning to me, which is Catholic belief:

20 “No prophecy of scripture is made by private interpretation”… This shows plainly that the scriptures are not to be expounded by any one’s private judgment or private spirit, because every part of the holy scriptures were written by men inspired by the Holy Ghost, and declared as such by the Church; therefore they are not to be interpreted but by the Spirit of God, which he hath left, and promised to remain with his Church to guide her in all truth to the end of the world. Some may tell us, that many of our divines interpret the scriptures: they may do so, but they do it always with a submission to the judgment of the Church, and not otherwise

Now I can seem to imagine that you will differ in opinion…and frankly I have encountered “protestants” who disagree clearly with the Catholic position on the issue… But whats interesting is that “y’all” will say that ANYONE…can interpret scripture.
But when asked to qualify or quantify or define “anyone”…its a real stumbling block… So I will ask you: Can a mentally retarded person “interpret scripture”? Can an illiterate person “interpret scripture”? Can an atheist “interpret scripture”?

Me, I say no…and I don’t think or believe that you can either. And if you are actually an “adherent” of sola scriptura"…and you are “interpreting scripture” you are violating God’s word. Remember…the Bible is ALL or None…it ain’t “the BK Lounge”…you can’t have it your way… 😃
 
If Mary never had sex with her husband, what kind of wife does that make her? How valid was their marriage if it was never consumated?:confused: This PV just does not make any sense…

Annie
Does “having sex” make one a wife? … Now that is the PV that does not make sense …

Having sex does not make one a “wife” … unmarried persons can engage in sexual intercourse and that does not make them “married” . Also, married couples who engage in sexual relations can have very poor marriages … so your question “what kind of wife” … :confused:

I believe that a man and woman, joined together in marriage - living their life obedient to God makes them a married couple [husband and wife] … for most this does in fact include marital relations … ut there are exceptions …

Mary and Joseph, and others who have taken vows of chastity like the Nazoreans [sp?] … may enter into marriages for reasons outside what may be considered normal …
 
But, you see, only Christians believe that…and not even all Christians believe this, that she stayed a virgin in perpetuity…only Eastern Orthodox and Roman Catholics believe that.

The problem is that Christianity evolved out of Judaism, and so in order to even claim to be true, it has to fit with Jewish Law. If it doesn’t, it can’t claim to be the fulfillment of Judaism, as it claims.

To say that all bets are off when it comes to Jesus fulfilling Jewish Law, or that Jewish Law does not apply to his specific situation, is to go against the very foundation of your religion…it also contradicts the Christian claim that Jesus somehow “fulfilled” Jewish Law.

In the Scriptures, is says, “***I am the LORD, I change not; ***therefore you sons of Jacob are not consumed”…this is why Jews believe that God does not change His Law.
The Book of Numbers clearly discusss vows of chastity … these could be taken by women still under their fathers roof, their husbands roof and taken by widows … Numbers being a part of the Pentatuch is clearly something that is within the realm of Jewish practice … even if not the norm but an minority practice… coupled with other practices within Judaism by various sects - for example like the Nazorean and/or the Essenes

It appreas that in some cases chastity could be practiced for a period of time or a perpetual vow …

It
 
This is one question that I have asked MANY priests about and NONE of them can answer! Where does it say that Mary remained a virgin?? The Catholic Church puts SO much emphasis on sex/marriage/procreation, that by keeping Mary a virgin Joseph is denied his “husband” rights, and they don’t have more babies to go along with what the Church says to all married people. The Church denies Mary and Joseph this job/pleasure of children by keeping her a virgin. And that’s where I stump the priests.
Now on some of the other posts on this this question someone has questioned the use of “brother” when Jesus speaks. There really is no proof that Jesus had or didn’t have siblings.This all goes to whole virgin thing. Someone also posted that Mary is the only person referred to as Jesus’ parent in scriptures. NOT TRUE. Jospeh is referred to his parent when they travel to Jerusalem during Passover, and Jesus stays in the temple. Read it in Luke 2:41-51. Now in those scriptures, Mary is the one who questions Jesus, and He kind of sasses her!! In vs. 51 it says that he was obedient to them" after they got home. hmmm…makes you wonder if they got a little mad at him, and maybe, even though he was “sinless” if maybe the “honor your father and mother” wasn’t quoted to him!! A “normal” child would have been in SOOO much trouble!! Makes you wonder! 🙂
 
I don’t think Christianity would be believable if Mary had other children.

Consider for the sake of argument Mat 13:55 Is he not the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother named Mary and his brothers James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas?

This is the verse folks use to prove that Mary had other children, but also from this verse it is clearly indicated by the folks in Jesus’s home town that the sons of the carpenter are Jesus, James Joseph, Simon, and Judas. Correct?

Based on this verse why should I believe that that Jesus was born of a virgin? Why should I believe that Jesus is the Son of God? Why should I believe that Jesus is the Messiah?

If Mary had other children why should I think there’s anything special about one of her five sons?
 
This is one question that I have asked MANY priests about and NONE of them can answer! Where does it say that Mary remained a virgin?? The Catholic Church puts SO much emphasis on sex/marriage/procreation, that by keeping Mary a virgin Joseph is denied his “husband” rights, and they don’t have more babies to go along with what the Church says to all married people. The Church denies Mary and Joseph this job/pleasure of children by keeping her a virgin. And that’s where I stump the priests.
Now on some of the other posts on this this question someone has questioned the use of “brother” when Jesus speaks. There really is no proof that Jesus had or didn’t have siblings.This all goes to whole virgin thing. Someone also posted that Mary is the only person referred to as Jesus’ parent in scriptures. NOT TRUE. Jospeh is referred to his parent when they travel to Jerusalem during Passover, and Jesus stays in the temple. Read it in Luke 2:41-51. Now in those scriptures, Mary is the one who questions Jesus, and He kind of sasses her!! In vs. 51 it says that he was obedient to them" after they got home. hmmm…makes you wonder if they got a little mad at him, and maybe, even though he was “sinless” if maybe the “honor your father and mother” wasn’t quoted to him!! A “normal” child would have been in SOOO much trouble!! Makes you wonder! 🙂
Joseph had none of a husband’s rights to Mary’s body. Another claimed all such rights first by conceiving His own Son upon her, and you can be sure He retained them exclusively (and quite correctly) for her whole lifetime, as was entirely fitting for a woman who was to be His chosen vessel and not just give birth to but also RAISE - for His whole life - the Son of God.

Joseph simply could not and would not dare tread where the Almighty had gone before, any more than he could or would go into the Holy of Holies in the Temple or touch the Ark of the Covenant (remember what happened to Uzziah when he tried to in the OT? You can bet Joseph knew that story, and knew what it meant for his relationship with Mary who similarly was God’s own chosen-and-prepared vessel).

So Joseph was called Jesus’ father. Are you treading the path towards heresy by suggesting that this might mean that Joseph was PHYSICALLY Jesus’ father and that Mary wasn’t EVEN a virgin when she conceived Him?

See that’s the problem when people don’t accept the dogma of Mary’s Perpetual Virginity, it can lead down the slippery slope towards claims that even Jesus wasn’t the result of a virgin birth, contrary to the Bible’s explicit statements that He was.

And too many people have fallen down that slope - saying that Jesus was the result of a rape by a Roman soldier or suggesting, as you have done, that Joseph did actually physically beget Him, or other such nonsense.
 
Sometimes it is difficult for the mind to fathom what the heart sees abundantly with faith.

Peace,

Gail
 
OK, I’m not Catholic, but I date a Catholic man, and I’ve taught music in Catholic High/jr high schools. The priests and I would have some great discussions about Catholic faith, and my very strong Lutheran background. They would jokingly say that with my very regular “exposure” to Catholicism I should “just take the plunge.” I told them it wouldn’t be a problem, except for the several unanswered questions that I have about the Church and it’s teachings. This being one. (I also don’t go along with “dogma” and teaching what the Church teaches LONG before what scripture says. I wanted my girls to know Bible stories, the Bible in general and songs about being Christian and about God/Jesus, before they learned about the ideas of a Church.)
My question is this: if God is loving, as we all teach, and marriage is sacred, WHY would God deny Joseph those rights? By denying Joseph those rights, it’s as if one is saying that marriage, with all of its rights and obligations, is NOT holy and sacred. By having sex in marriage this would make Mary “unclean and unholy.” SO, with that in mind…sex would then be bad, unclean, and not to be done. I just can’t imagine that God would be that selfish to Joseph to deny him his rights and the love that he and Mary shared.
I never said anything about God not being the father of Jesus. That’s part of the Christian faith and belief to fulfill Old Testament scripture. To be a Christian, one believes that Jesus was conceived through the Holy Spirit. That’s scripture being fulfilled. That’s faith. As for Mary having other children with Joseph, that’s marriage and love and fulfillment of the love 2 people share. That in NO WAY depletes from Jesus’ holiness or the belief that Mary was a virgin when he was conceived. As a Christian, you believe it.
I honestly don’t understand how Christianity would be changed if Jesus had siblings! As a Lutheran, I never dismissed the idea that Mary and Jospeh had more children. As a parent, it just seems pretty normal. As for believing that Jesus was “more special” than his siblings…hmmm…ask any parent and see if they feel one child is more special than the other. Each person has gifts, talents and hopefully and goal to fulfill of their own. I’m not saying that Jesus was the same as a “normal” human, but he was raised human, by humans and was taught a trade. Very human. Jesus was raised as a commoner…a poor child/man from a poor family. People who search for the “Holy Grail” look for something with splendor…but he was common. That in itself could make the very existence of more children from Mary and Joseph very believable.
Reading down the posts one sees questions about marriage and sex, and is sex needed in a marriage. Well, maybe not in some cases, but if you read Catholic ideas/beliefs/teachings about marriage, it had better be. The Church doesn’t really “take kindly” to marriages with no sex, and I have heard of marriages not being performed in the Catholic Church because of the inability to have sex and a “normal” relationship…to produce babies. SO, like I’ve said before, I just find it “strange” that the Church keeps Mary a virgin; it just goes SOOOO against the teachings of the church.
This is just one of the questions about the Church that just can’t be totally explained. At least to me.
Have a great weekend everyone!!
 
OK, I’m not Catholic, but I date a Catholic man, and I’ve taught music in Catholic High/jr high schools. The priests and I would have some great discussions about Catholic faith, and my very strong Lutheran background. They would jokingly say that with my very regular “exposure” to Catholicism I should “just take the plunge.” I told them it wouldn’t be a problem, except for the several unanswered questions that I have about the Church and it’s teachings. This being one. (I also don’t go along with “dogma” and teaching what the Church teaches LONG before what scripture says. I wanted my girls to know Bible stories, the Bible in general and songs about being Christian and about God/Jesus, before they learned about the ideas of a Church.)
My question is this: if God is loving, as we all teach, and marriage is sacred, WHY would God deny Joseph those rights? By denying Joseph those rights, it’s as if one is saying that marriage, with all of its rights and obligations, is NOT holy and sacred. By having sex in marriage this would make Mary “unclean and unholy.” SO, with that in mind…sex would then be bad, unclean, and not to be done. I just can’t imagine that God would be that selfish to Joseph to deny him his rights and the love that he and Mary shared.
I never said anything about God not being the father of Jesus. That’s part of the Christian faith and belief to fulfill Old Testament scripture. To be a Christian, one believes that Jesus was conceived through the Holy Spirit. That’s scripture being fulfilled. That’s faith. As for Mary having other children with Joseph, that’s marriage and love and fulfillment of the love 2 people share. That in NO WAY depletes from Jesus’ holiness or the belief that Mary was a virgin when he was conceived. As a Christian, you believe it.
I honestly don’t understand how Christianity would be changed if Jesus had siblings! As a Lutheran, I never dismissed the idea that Mary and Jospeh had more children. As a parent, it just seems pretty normal. As for believing that Jesus was “more special” than his siblings…hmmm…ask any parent and see if they feel one child is more special than the other. Each person has gifts, talents and hopefully and goal to fulfill of their own. I’m not saying that Jesus was the same as a “normal” human, but he was raised human, by humans and was taught a trade. Very human. Jesus was raised as a commoner…a poor child/man from a poor family. People who search for the “Holy Grail” look for something with splendor…but he was common. That in itself could make the very existence of more children from Mary and Joseph very believable.
Reading down the posts one sees questions about marriage and sex, and is sex needed in a marriage. Well, maybe not in some cases, but if you read Catholic ideas/beliefs/teachings about marriage, it had better be. The Church doesn’t really “take kindly” to marriages with no sex, and I have heard of marriages not being performed in the Catholic Church because of the inability to have sex and a “normal” relationship…to produce babies. SO, like I’ve said before, I just find it “strange” that the Church keeps Mary a virgin; it just goes SOOOO against the teachings of the church.
This is just one of the questions about the Church that just can’t be totally explained. At least to me.
Have a great weekend everyone!!
Firstly God didn’t deny Joseph anything. Joseph willingly and freely and will full knowlege beforehand agreed to enter into a chaste marriage at God’s bidding. Huge difference. Joseph willingly took this on knowing from the start that because Mary was to bear God’s son that he, Joseph, would have no physical rights over her. He always had the option of saying no to the marriage, as he had been contemplating doing, many people have said no to God y’know. 🤷 And where did you

Secondly - of course sex in marriage is a good thing, it doesn’t stop celibacy from also being a good thing. And the Church does recognise that spouses have the right to willingly forego sexual relations on a permanent basis - as long as both spouses are willing and consenting to do so - without affecting the validity of their marriages. Such valid but permanently unconsummated marriages are called ‘Josephite marriages’ (funny that 🙂 )

Remember Jesus was celibate and unmarried. Remember that St Paul also teaches that celibacy is ALSO a good, holy and sacred thing - in fact preferable to sexual relations (those who can be celibate should be).

Now sex in marriage is a good, holy and sacred thing, and is an important function of a marriage. It is not the only function, though, nor is it an indispensable one. And I hope you’ll agree that it’s not appropriate in all situations. For example, the Church doesn’t teach that a married person can demand sex of their seriously ill spouse in fulfilment of some marital ‘right’.

Imagine a situation where a spouse is not just ill for a short time but suffers chronic and prolonged illness, you’d agree that the spouse doesn’t have any ‘right’ to sex in such a situation. Neither does anyone teach that it’s OK to have marital sex, as holy and sacred as it is, in church or in public. There are situations where, holy and sacred as marital sex is, it’s just totally inappropriate.

The case of Joseph and Mary is another instance, due to Mary’s absolutely unique (unparalleled in the history of humankind) position wherein her own body became a temple or dwelling place of God. Theirs never was intended to be a ‘normal’ marriage in any sense of the word normal, although it was a perfectly valid and legitimate one regardless, and one which Catholic couples today can validly choose to emulate.
 
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