Mass Bloopers

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We (the choir) were waiting for our newly installed Bishop to stand in in-tone for the Gloria…and we waited…and waited…and waited. Knowing that he was now “lost” in the order of mass, he searched his cathedra for a copy of the missal. He then, obviously, could not remember the date. (I hope is was just due to fatsing that day.) Desperate to help him, eveyone in the choir loft suddenly stood up and motioned for him to GET UP…he saw us waving our arms like crazy, all 40 of us, then stood up. The organist hit the note, and the ah-ha moment on the Bishop’s face was priceless.

Same Bishop, Easter Vigil…nearly the end, Deacon anounces that mass has ended and to go in peace. The Bishop, leans towards the Bishop and takes a few tiny steps in full view of the congregation to “have a chat” with the Deacon. Microphones are ekpt on by the men as they “chat”.

He respectfully suggests with the following…“pissst, pissst, heh, it’s not over yet…”.

The Deacon leans towards the Bishop and…laughs, “oops, sorry about that Bishop…”.

Bishop replies, “you want it to be, don’t you”.

Deacon replies," yep, I do".

Everyone laughs in agreement—Vigil mass and a newly installed Bishop makes for a loooooong mass.
 
zab said:
😦 Humor is good. There is nothing wrong with laughing at ourselves sometimes. But I think we have to know when to draw the line. I do not see the signs of our aging priests as funny. Yes, some of them do assist parishes late into their retirement years and they are still much needed because of the priest shortage. We would not laugh at signs of aging diseases found in our parents or relatives. I think we should be respectful when we see these signs in our elderly priests. When parishioners notice unusual behavior of their retired priests, they should kindly report it to the pastor so that he will be aware and known if and when the time has come that the pastor should no longer accept the service of the aging priest.
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When I posted the story of the elderly priest who didn’t see the wine at the altar, it was not a humorous post. I said it was the strangest thing I ever saw at Mass, not the funniest. I was not making fun of the priest. People at that Mass certainly were not laughing at him. Perhaps, though, I shouldn’t have posted it under a “Mass Bloopers” thread.
 
Last year I came into the Church at the Easter Vigil. On the morning of Holy Saturday, our priest was running through the baptism ritual with me (our font is one of those tubs with a brick facade built around it). I was supposed to kneel on a cinder block with my head over the font while Father poured water from the holy water bucket over my head. The rehearsal went well.

At the Easter Vigil I had made my baptismal promises and was about to make my way to the font when we heard Father say, quietly, “Where’s the bucket?” There was a pause and apparently nothing happened because he said it again, this time a little louder. Somebody from the RCIA team finally ran off to get something he could use, though it probably wasn’t what he originally intended. Then at the font, somebody had put a piece of foam on the cinder block to be easier on my knees when I knelt. Unfortunately, the foam was a lot softer than it looked so that when I knelt down, I sunk a lot deeper than I expected and I nearly keeled over sideways; I had to grab the bricks to keep myself from falling over (taking a header into the font would have been even worse form).

In the end, everything went well and it was a wonderful night for me. And this stuff, well, we still get a good chuckle out of it.
 
This isn’t really Mass, but while waiting in my church to go to confession I heard the priest laughing extremely loud. Then for around five minutes I kept on hearing him laugh like crazy. I was wondering what on earth was going on, thinking the priest was hearing confessions. However when I walked over to the corner of the church with the confessional I realized he wasn’t hearing confession, but he was having a conversion with someone outside of confession, and hadn’t realized anyone was still waiting for confession. 😃
 
Our Church bulletin always has various food needs. A few weeks ago it read:

“We appreciate everyones donations and we also ask that you continue to place all food donations inside the Church Panty”

Panty=Pantry

`:o
 
This wasn’t at Mass but this morning at the rehearsal for the Easter Vigil, Father was going around telling the candidates how he would be anointing them with the Chrism during confirmation and when he got to one of the candidates who is a contractor and who is taking the confirmation name of St. Joseph, he jokingly said “joseph, may you be sealed with the ability to build the perfect house” 😃 All of us sponsors and the candidates around thought it was hilarious. But he did tell him what he would really say

And this also happened this morning. In our parish, for the presentation of the gifts, the newly baptized go up to present and one of the ladies being baptized had her baby this morning and she happened to be the one that would have either the bread or wine and when Father was “taking the wine” from her he just acted like he was going to take the baby. It was so cute and the baby was just going along with it not having a care in the world:p!
 
not a blooper but a cutie, our deacon candidates held candles on either side as Father held the cross yesterday for veneration. they were heavy candlesticks but the men stood staunch as marines on duty during the long procession. bringing up the rear were the wife and 3 young daughters of one candidate, the youngest a toddler who yelled Hi Daddy, and finally broke his composure. guess that is something they have to cover in deacon school.
 
I think our parish bulletin needs a proof reader. Apparently, Sr. Kathleen is St. Kathleen. 🙂
 
Jennifer G! i see that you have ‘0 days until i swim the Tiber.’ are you entering the church tonight? If so, “WELCOME HOME TO ROME!”

A bulletin funny I saw one time: “5,000.00 for the year for cleaning the rector.” (they meant rectory!) and since Rector is another word for Pastor… I wonder how clean he really became for all that! haha
 
A reminder we are all human…

Father was doing the homily, and I know he meant to say ‘funny duck,’ except it came out as, well, you can guess…

As soon as he said it, it was just so funny watching his face go from :confused: to :eek: to 😊 . Everyone had a good laugh.

For the next Mass that morning (I went twice) he was very careful to say funny duck.
 
Bryce:

Thanks for the story!

When I was in the Seminary, my spiritual Director was a priest by the name of Fr. Laliberte. Do you have any relatives in Fargo?
 
bknebel said:
Bryce:

Thanks for the story!

When I was in the Seminary, my spiritual Director was a priest by the name of Fr. Laliberte. Do you have any relatives in Fargo?
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Lol. There’s a girl in my area who is Catholic with the last name Laliberte, and everyone in the Catholic Church I started attending had to ask if I was related once I told them my name.

Conversations would go;
Me: …name is Bryce Laliberte.
Them: Are you…?
Me: No.
Them: Huh?
Me: I’m not related to her.

No, sadly, no relations to any Catholics at all. I did live in Fargo once! But that was long ago…
 
Jennifer_G said:
I think our parish bulletin needs a proof reader. Apparently, Sr. Kathleen is St. Kathleen. 🙂
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I can’t tell you how many times I typed “St. Patricia” in the course of her time in our parish. I had to be very careful editing the bulletin, the ministry schedule, and anything else where I had reason to type her name.
 
We were attending Mass at a neighbouring parish in a truly awful “re-covated” church. A visiting priest was saying the Mass and in his homily he said:

“Churches such as these inspire me to pray…to pray ‘My God ! What have they done’?!”
 
aboverubies said:
We were attending Mass at a neighbouring parish in a truly awful “re-covated” church. A visiting priest was saying the Mass and in his homily he said:

“Churches such as these inspire me to pray…to pray ‘My God ! What have they done’?!”
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Hey, there! What’s “re-covated”? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that term before.
 
Sorry! It’s a play on words…the parish set out to “renovate” (re-model) the church but in stripping it of every beautiful (and Catholic) thing it becomes “re-covate” (as in wreck-o-vate.")
 
daeve said:
Hey, there! What’s “re-covated”? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that term before.
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lol…I was embarrassed that I didn’t know what it meant either, but I didn’t want to ask. Actually tried looking it up in the dictionary. 😊
 
American or Australian dictionary LOL! Sorry! Lost in Translation!

I was always of the opinion that the US and Australia were really quite similar in many ways. Australians often comment that our culture has been “Americanised” due to TV (largely MTV). I thought so too plus we share the same language, similar culture, food, music etc. But having travelled to your beautiful country three times now I have to say that the two countries are really very different! 🙂
 
aboverubies said:
Sorry! It’s a play on words…the parish set out to “renovate” (re-model) the church but in stripping it of every beautiful (and Catholic) thing it becomes “re-covate” (as in wreck-o-vate.")
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Sorry, I’m not too quick on the uptake. It would have made sense if I said it out loud.

I’ve heard about this here before, but haven’t seen it. Here in St. Louis, the old churches still look pretty much like they did when I was a kid, and the modern churches look like modern CHURCHES. Two of the churches in the neighborhood are new and very modern, but still have organs and crosses and stained glass. They don’t look like barns or anything.

Back in about 1950, right after the new school for my parish was completed, the church was struck by lightening and burned to the ground. It took from about 1950 to about 1979 to get the new church. When I got married, it was in the gym, in 1976. One of my bridesmaids got married in 1979, and it was in the church.
 
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