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kristie_m
Guest
I had to laugh at this one, but only because I’ve seen our priests get tripped up the same way.
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rpp
Guest
I did the same thing, only the opposite direction, not long ago when starting to pray the rosary! I started with the Apostles’ Creed and suddenly found myself reciting the Gloria!I had to laugh at this one, but only because I’ve seen our priests get tripped up the same way.
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catholic79
Guest
My mom was approaching communion one mass and noticed that no one was approaching a certain EM, whom she happened to know. So to be nice she left the main line from a little further back the normal to try and be friendly to this EM.
She told us after mass -
that the EM was giving her a really funny look as she approached, but Mom just kept smiling and walked up to her. It was when the Eucharistic Minister said “Blood Of Christ” that she realized why - (Now it is important to note here that my mom can not even so much as smell red wine with out getting headache) she was faced with the Blood of Christ, an EM she knew, and the fact that numerous people saw her cut for the wine! She took the cup lifted it to her lips but tried to not get very much, as she was lowering it she worried that everyone would know that she hadn’t actually consumed any so she raised the cup again, this time rather high to make sure she received some. She is still sure that the EM, Father and those in the front pews that morning think she is an alcoholic.
She told us after mass -
that the EM was giving her a really funny look as she approached, but Mom just kept smiling and walked up to her. It was when the Eucharistic Minister said “Blood Of Christ” that she realized why - (Now it is important to note here that my mom can not even so much as smell red wine with out getting headache) she was faced with the Blood of Christ, an EM she knew, and the fact that numerous people saw her cut for the wine! She took the cup lifted it to her lips but tried to not get very much, as she was lowering it she worried that everyone would know that she hadn’t actually consumed any so she raised the cup again, this time rather high to make sure she received some. She is still sure that the EM, Father and those in the front pews that morning think she is an alcoholic.
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aboverubies
Guest
I often get mixed up with my prayers when I haven’t had enough sleep. I’ll begin to say an Our Father or Hail Mary and realise I’ve actually just said Grace.I did the same thing, only the opposite direction, not long ago when starting to pray the rosary! I started with the Apostles’ Creed and suddenly found myself reciting the Gloria!
I think it’s my stomach trying to trick my mind in order to score a second breakfast.
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aboverubies
Guest
Oh dear!
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LittleDeb
Guest
Here are mine, sorta long need a little background:
We had a young, energetic priest on loan from a very poor country. He was giving a homily to the youth about being good stewards and their wasteful ways. He had gotten many good pencils out of the trash at the school to illustrate his point. He explained that he had been to his home country and was angry to discover his poor nephew doing homework with a little tiny stub.
He said many times during the homily that, “I was so angry, that I took that little pencil away,” only to be met with titters from everyone. Poor father was so confused as to why this was funny. We finally informed him after Mass that not once did he ever say that he had replaced the stub pencil with a nice new one. We said that all of us sat there thinking, ‘wow this poor kid had only a stub and now didn’t even have that!’ Father laughed too when he realized.
Also with that same priest, we adults who served the youth finally had to train father to stop saying “sheet of paper” or “piece of paper” when referring to the song sheet. His native language didn’t have the long ‘E’ sound. His ‘E’ always sounded like a short ‘I’ sound. His pronunciation made the youth giggle every time.
We had a young, energetic priest on loan from a very poor country. He was giving a homily to the youth about being good stewards and their wasteful ways. He had gotten many good pencils out of the trash at the school to illustrate his point. He explained that he had been to his home country and was angry to discover his poor nephew doing homework with a little tiny stub.
He said many times during the homily that, “I was so angry, that I took that little pencil away,” only to be met with titters from everyone. Poor father was so confused as to why this was funny. We finally informed him after Mass that not once did he ever say that he had replaced the stub pencil with a nice new one. We said that all of us sat there thinking, ‘wow this poor kid had only a stub and now didn’t even have that!’
Father laughed too when he realized.Also with that same priest, we adults who served the youth finally had to train father to stop saying “sheet of paper” or “piece of paper” when referring to the song sheet. His native language didn’t have the long ‘E’ sound. His ‘E’ always sounded like a short ‘I’ sound. His pronunciation made the youth giggle every time.
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kristie_m
Guest
The ship in the field…you know, the little bah bah bahs.
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Deacon_Ed_B
Guest
Once I was at mass with my son, who was on leave from the navy. We were towards the back of the church. In front of us was a woman dressed in suede boots, skirt and jacket. everything matched. She was dressed to a “T”. At the kiss of peace when she turned around to shake my sons hand and wish him peace, her false nails hit his hand and you heart "brrrrrrrttttttttt. They all went flying in every direction. This tickled us and we started giggling and then broke out into laughter with everyone around when she went down on hands and knees trying to find them The more people giggled the more frustrated she got and could not find anything. Several of us had to step outside as we were laughing so hard and did not want to disturbed the rest of the congregation.
Deacon Ed B
Deacon Ed B
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zab
Guest
Has anyone ever sung the correct music to “Holy God We Praise Thy Name” since Perry Como recorded it? I’ve never learned how to sing it any other way. However, according to the music in our hymnal, we have been adding a couple of extra notes–starting with "Infinite Thy vast domain everlasting is thy reign.":harp:
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daeve
Guest
I have a terrible time with the Apostle’s Creed. I’m still saying the words from grade school. There’s enough difference that I’m out of sync with everyone else. Same with “Lord I am not worthy that you should come under my roof. Say only the word and my soul shall be healed.” That’s how I said it at 7, and at 57 that’s still in my mind.I often get mixed up with my prayers when I haven’t had enough sleep. I’ll begin to say an Our Father or Hail Mary and realise I’ve actually just said Grace.
I think it’s my stomach trying to trick my mind in order to score a second breakfast.
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Crumpy
Guest
I think I’ve read every post and have been laughing uncontrollably at least twice.
A fellow worker was relating an unfortunate incident of his wedding day Mass. He was walking walking someplace with his bride and had to maneuver around the credence table with the cruets of water and wine. He was focused on trying not to step on the wedding gown, which would have done irretrievable damage to it. But, in the process, he hooked his foot on the table and sent it and everything on it flying. And, involuntarily he exclaimed the Savior’s full name which a split second later he realized was echoing off all the walls of the church back at him.
In the days of fasting from midnight before communion, it was a “stretch” to fast until communion on Good Friday, in the afternoon. I realized that a fellow server was in trouble when he tried to exit the sanctuary in the procedural fashion of genuflecting towards the tabernacle, but instead, I watched him genuflect to the wall 90 degrees from the tabernacle, just before he passed out and hit the carpeted floor.
Some forty-five years ago in Catholic grade school, we had the practice of daily Mass and reception of Holy Communion. The church was actually full, with all the 600 or so students from all grades assembled. Conduct in church was strictly enforced, with the sisters occasionally walking the aisles, looking over their students, visibly patrolling for errant conduct. This had the tendency to stifle any voluntary, non-rubric related behavior. It was only human physiology itself that overruled me one day, when overcome totally by intestinal gas, I had to make an unapproved dash to the rest room. Sadly, things were out of hand, and I was releasing the gas with every step I took. A couple of my observant classmates used my misfortune to add more humiliation to my shame, by various audible comments and laughter. Sadly, it was one of many moments of self-mortification in my life.
I was amused once with the television coverage of an Eastern or Orthodox celebration, which involved the priest sprinking water on the congregation. The priest was loathe to omit the deacon and so laid a really good splash on him. The surprised deacon had a mortified expression overcome him, one that could only be described as momentary atheism – which made the priest react with a smile bordering on a laugh. I was sure a fight was going to start out.
The two parishes in the south end of our city have predominantly Polish-ancestry members. A common family name in this area is Mica, which is pronounced “mee - kah.” It was bound to happen, if it hadn’t happened before, when the lector rose to read from the prophet Micah, which came out “mee - kah.”
When I made First Communion, the rule of the day was that the boys were to wear these what-I-will-call sky-blue suit coats and trousers. This was very 1950-ish, of course. A year or two later, I was roped into some church pageant where the boys were supposed to again wear their First Communion suits. It was not until way-too-late that I realized that the fashion had changed for the boys, who were all dressed in DARK navy blue suits. Yes, it was another of those mortifying moments when all I wanted to do was to die and that as soon as possible.
A fellow worker was relating an unfortunate incident of his wedding day Mass. He was walking walking someplace with his bride and had to maneuver around the credence table with the cruets of water and wine. He was focused on trying not to step on the wedding gown, which would have done irretrievable damage to it. But, in the process, he hooked his foot on the table and sent it and everything on it flying. And, involuntarily he exclaimed the Savior’s full name which a split second later he realized was echoing off all the walls of the church back at him.
In the days of fasting from midnight before communion, it was a “stretch” to fast until communion on Good Friday, in the afternoon. I realized that a fellow server was in trouble when he tried to exit the sanctuary in the procedural fashion of genuflecting towards the tabernacle, but instead, I watched him genuflect to the wall 90 degrees from the tabernacle, just before he passed out and hit the carpeted floor.
Some forty-five years ago in Catholic grade school, we had the practice of daily Mass and reception of Holy Communion. The church was actually full, with all the 600 or so students from all grades assembled. Conduct in church was strictly enforced, with the sisters occasionally walking the aisles, looking over their students, visibly patrolling for errant conduct. This had the tendency to stifle any voluntary, non-rubric related behavior. It was only human physiology itself that overruled me one day, when overcome totally by intestinal gas, I had to make an unapproved dash to the rest room. Sadly, things were out of hand, and I was releasing the gas with every step I took. A couple of my observant classmates used my misfortune to add more humiliation to my shame, by various audible comments and laughter. Sadly, it was one of many moments of self-mortification in my life.
I was amused once with the television coverage of an Eastern or Orthodox celebration, which involved the priest sprinking water on the congregation. The priest was loathe to omit the deacon and so laid a really good splash on him. The surprised deacon had a mortified expression overcome him, one that could only be described as momentary atheism – which made the priest react with a smile bordering on a laugh. I was sure a fight was going to start out.
The two parishes in the south end of our city have predominantly Polish-ancestry members. A common family name in this area is Mica, which is pronounced “mee - kah.” It was bound to happen, if it hadn’t happened before, when the lector rose to read from the prophet Micah, which came out “mee - kah.”
When I made First Communion, the rule of the day was that the boys were to wear these what-I-will-call sky-blue suit coats and trousers. This was very 1950-ish, of course. A year or two later, I was roped into some church pageant where the boys were supposed to again wear their First Communion suits. It was not until way-too-late that I realized that the fashion had changed for the boys, who were all dressed in DARK navy blue suits. Yes, it was another of those mortifying moments when all I wanted to do was to die and that as soon as possible.
M
Monsterkittie
Guest
Kindergartener recited the Pledge of Allegiance over the intercom at my Mom’s elementary school:I often get mixed up with my prayers when I haven’t had enough sleep. I’ll begin to say an Our Father or Hail Mary and realise I’ve actually just said Grace.
“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, and deliver us from evil. Amen.”
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lak611
Guest
That is supposed to be coming back soon. The rest of us will be out of sync for a while, and you will be back in sync!
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daeve
Guest
And I can’t wait. It seems like they’ve been talking about it for a long time, but it hasn’t happened yet. And it’s not quite the same either. I’ll still be wrong.That is supposed to be coming back soon. The rest of us will be out of sync for a while, and you will be back in sync!
T
theistgal
Guest
I attend an Eastern Rite Liturgy. There’s a place where the priest is supposed to pray for “Our God-loving Bishop N.”; one Sunday I heard the priest get a little tongue-tied and accidentally (I’m sure!!!) say “Our Godless Bishop N.”! 
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Crumpy
Guest
Sad to say, this is not a blooper:
We have this “new” modern church in town. Their adaptation of the entrance procession brings the crucifix, servers, and celebrant up the “aisle” of chairs from the back, and the crucifix is marched reverently into the closet which is right behind the altar. Talk about tasteless design and liturgy. Yup, put Jesus right there where he belongs, in the closet. Don’t want anybody looking at that THING during Mass! of course.
We have this “new” modern church in town. Their adaptation of the entrance procession brings the crucifix, servers, and celebrant up the “aisle” of chairs from the back, and the crucifix is marched reverently into the closet which is right behind the altar. Talk about tasteless design and liturgy. Yup, put Jesus right there where he belongs, in the closet. Don’t want anybody looking at that THING during Mass! of course.
Well, if they want to change the words of the Pledge, I vote for this version!
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danimay
Guest
I was a blooper at Mass once. I was around 14 years old and it was Easter. The church was PACKED…standing room only. This was in Savannah, Ga and it was smokin’ hot in there. We were kneeling and I started feeling funny. Suddenly, everything went black. I woke up under the pew. I had fainted. I felt so good lying there…completely cool and refreshed, like I had been asleep for hours. Then my sister helped me up. I felt sick. A nurse rushed over to take my pulse. I was mortified! I had to be taken outside while the rest of my family stayed for communion.
My sister had a field day with that one. She said she thought I had just slipped at first…Then noticed that I was sorta falling in slow motion. She said I looked like a ballet dancer, gracefully falling to the floor…with my eyes open…
My sister had a field day with that one. She said she thought I had just slipped at first…Then noticed that I was sorta falling in slow motion. She said I looked like a ballet dancer, gracefully falling to the floor…with my eyes open…
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