Mass Bloopers

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This isn’t a blooper, but a practical joke the choir once played on a priest.

Fr. G, who was also moderator of the choir, picked Salvator Mundi as a song he wanted us to learn for Lent. We all hated it and whined like little kids, which was okay because we all loved Fr. G and he loved us. He would just smile and say, “Offer it up!”

Well, after seemingly endless weeks of Lent singing this song, we waited until after Easter, and one Sunday when Fr. G was going to be the celebrant for the choir Mass, we added the name “Salvatore Mundi” to the list of deceased to pray for during the Prayers of the Faithful. (This being a very Italian parish, we were used to long lists of Italian names on the sick and the deceased list, so no one would have thought twice about hearing “Salvatore Mundi”. Fr. G. would be the only one who would have caught it, especially since he was the one who wrote the list of intentions.)

When the lector read “Salvatore Mundi,” Fr. G.'s head shot up and he just looked at the choir, stared at us for a split second, and then put his head down and turned red trying not to laugh…

Needless to say, so did the choir.
This parish also had some serious roof leaks over the sanctuary area, so it was not uncommon during Mass to see the EMHCs either needing to “play musical chairs”, or try to inconspicuously as possible move their chair a few inches to get out of the “line of fire”, or have one of them run inside for some buckets!
*“Dear God, do You know the greatest grief one of Your creatures can bear? It is the thought that she can never love You enough…” *- St. Gemma Galgani
 
I was at a Christmas Mass once when the reader read “and they brought him gifts of gold, Frankenstein and myrrh.”

Another time the commentator said at the beginning of Mass, Let us stand now and great Father with ‘Hail, holy Queen.’"
 
Oh My! This is so funny!
A friend of mine read from the Book of Job at my mother’s funeral.
(pronounced it like job, not JOBE.)

Another blooper (sorta sad, tho) was an elderly lady was setting up the chalices and ciboriums for Ash Wednesday Mass and I asked her if she had checked the Tabernacle to make sure we had enough hosts. Turns out, she put the ciborium FROM the Tabernacle out for Mass. When I went back to bring the already consecrated Hosts from the Tabernacle, I discovered we had only ONE ciborium for a packed church! The visiting priest led those who were unable to receive Communion in spiritual Communion. Poor dear, she’s been checked up on ever since…
 
GemmaRose said:
This isn’t a blooper, but a practical joke the choir once played on a priest.

Fr. G, who was also moderator of the choir, picked Salvator Mundi as a song he wanted us to learn for Lent. We all hated it and whined like little kids, which was okay because we all loved Fr. G and he loved us. He would just smile and say, “Offer it up!”

Well, after seemingly endless weeks of Lent singing this song, we waited until after Easter, and one Sunday when Fr. G was going to be the celebrant for the choir Mass, we added the name “Salvatore Mundi” to the list of deceased to pray for during the Prayers of the Faithful. (This being a very Italian parish, we were used to long lists of Italian names on the sick and the deceased list, so no one would have thought twice about hearing “Salvatore Mundi”. Fr. G. would be the only one who would have caught it, especially since he was the one who wrote the list of intentions.)

When the lector read “Salvatore Mundi,” Fr. G.'s head shot up and he just looked at the choir, stared at us for a split second, and then put his head down and turned red trying not to laugh…

Needless to say, so did the choir.
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The first time I lectored at my new Parish - about 4 years ago, one of the altar servers put her gerbil (had a first and last name - go figure) on the Intention list, which we read at Mass. When I read the name, she had to do the same gesture that Fr. G did. She explained to me after Mass what she pulled.
 
During an episode of Americas funniest home videos
the father was giving the eucharist to the bride and her her false teeth came out. I couldnt stop laughing!!
 
Why one should remember the logistics of switching the pew order at the last minute before the Easter Vigil. Watch the girl and I (I’m wearing white) on the right as we wonder how we’re going to get back to our pews. You can’t hear us, but we’re like, "Where do we go? :confused: ". We were supposed to be in the first pew, and the 2nd pew was supposed to go right behind the first pew for communion (as we practiced earlier that day). Then, 5 minutes before it started, they switched the pew order. 😃
 
Jennifer_G said:
Why one should remember the logistics of switching the pew order at the last minute before the Easter Vigil. Watch the girl and I (I’m wearing white) on the right as we wonder how we’re going to get back to our pews. You can’t hear us, but we’re like, "Where do we go? :confused: ". We were supposed to be in the first pew, and the 2nd pew was supposed to go right behind the first pew for communion (as we practiced earlier that day). Then, 5 minutes before it started, they switched the pew order. 😃
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You might have to wait a few minutes. It takes awhile to download. Even though it looks blank, it starts up without warning. 🙂
 
what were the white things they were wearing around their shoulders? I’ve never seen that before.
 
Carolinagirl411 said:
what were the white things they were wearing around their shoulders? I’ve never seen that before.
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It’s a stole that is a sign of purity. It’s for those who just received the Sacrament of Baptism (3 were baptised, and 2 had a conditional baptism). Msgr nearly forgot to pour the holy water, too.
 
OH ok. I was confirmed at Easter Vigil this year and we had 9 being baptized. They didn’t wear anything like that so I was just curious. I guess each parish does things a little differently
 
When my cousin was around 18 months old, her favorite phrase was “See it.” Whenever she saw something new, novel, anything that got her excited, she would say “See it!” Her tone of voice would indicate whether it was good thing or bad thing.

One Sunday, we’re all at Mass, and she had a small change purse with a few pennies, so she could play grownup. I don’t remember which part of the Mass exactly, but we were all standing, and her dad was holding her.

She was fumbling with her change purse, and the pennies fell out and clinked to the floor.

As was her habit, she looked down at her pennies and said in a drawn out, dejected tone, “Oh, see it.”

The only problem was she was just learning to talk, so her “s” sound came out as “sh”.

“Oh sh-ee it.”

It was loud enough for people in the pews around us to hear, and a whole bunch of us had a HARD time stifling our giggles. That was 20+ years ago, and it still gets us laughing.
 
danimay said:
I was a blooper at Mass once. I was around 14 years old and it was Easter. The church was PACKED…standing room only. This was in Savannah, Ga and it was smokin’ hot in there. We were kneeling and I started feeling funny. Suddenly, everything went black. I woke up under the pew. I had fainted. I felt so good lying there…completely cool and refreshed, like I had been asleep for hours. Then my sister helped me up. I felt sick. A nurse rushed over to take my pulse. I was mortified! I had to be taken outside while the rest of my family stayed for communion.

My sister had a field day with that one. She said she thought I had just slipped at first…Then noticed that I was sorta falling in slow motion. She said I looked like a ballet dancer, gracefully falling to the floor…with my eyes open…:rolleyes:
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Ha! This happened to me a few months ago. I was altar serving, and my robes got WAY too hot. There were a lot of people in the church, and the heat was cranked up. While we were kneeling, I got really dizzy and felt sick. Everything was going black, and I was swaying back and forth.

Finally I got up and stumbled to the sacristy, where my brother found me 10 minutes later with my head between my knees, moaning! He said, “What’s up? Are you okay? Jen (another girl who was altar serving with us) and I thought you were drunk, or something! And everyone was looking at you!”

I told him that no, I was most certainly NOT DRUNK and I just got dizzy. He left the sacristy laughing. 0:o
 
Not really a Mass blooper, but when praying the rosary before Mass, during the Fatima prayer, I once prayed “Lead all souls to Temptation…”

😊 😊 😊
 
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