Mass no no's

[Faith1960]

One of the worst: Letting your child/children run wild during the Mass. The indifference of some people astounds me. I have seen kids escape to take over the priest’s seat before. Once during a Baptism, two or three of the baptized cousins were running around the entire church. The priest handled it well and said he felt as if he was surrounded by angels, but the people trying to film this special moment were rightly peeved.
Kinda makes me want to bring a dog-cather’s net with me. Free range children at Mass=BAD:

Maybe Junior’s parents didn’t want to rock the boat and tick Junior off, thus forcing him/her to have a temper tantrum.

 

[Cavaille-Coll]

Why, on earth, would these two things bother you??

There is nothing wrong with raising one’s hands in private prayer. This has been done for centuries. At Mass, gestures and postures are specific to one’s role in the liturgy, i.e. priest or laity. The Orans posture (hands raised and outspread) is specified for use by the priest in various parts of the Mass, but is not specified for the laity. It came into lay use, in part, through certain charismatic Catholics for whom this gesture is commonly used in private and group prayer. It was also encouraged by certain misguided people who believed that the laity should participate more fully in the consecratory prayers, or perhaps could consecrate the Eucharist by virtue of their baptismal priesthood (or by sheer willpower). The orans posture was often accompanied in these cases by a communal recitation of the words of institution. In short, it is not a sinful act unless deliberately done out of disobedience, but is not part of the approprate postures for lay people at Mass.

As for the priest saying “thank you” after the response, “and also with you,” this is just silly. This is not an optional phrase that can be added in at will, and it only serves to emphasize the personality of the priest and tone down any perceived excess of sacredness or reverence. To be fair, one must assume that most priests who do this do not have subversive intentions. Indeed, the vast majority of priests and lay people are good people who want to praise, love, and serve the Lord.

True, these things can be scrupulous and nit-picky, but when the owner of a classic car is about to take it to show, he spares no wasted effort in making sure every tiny detail has been repaired, cleaned, and shined. Christ’s Holy Sacrifice is so much more beautiful than a mere automobile.

 

[netmilsmom]

Like this?

Good Job Faith!!!

BTW have you noticed how many people have discounted your discomfort with undisciplined children and basically said that it’s YOUR problem?

I am so glad we have parents who put in an effort at my parish.

 

[suppliant]

I went to Nun run Catholic schools and was always taught to kneel straight up, no butt on the pew.

Me to, it was Sister Jerome again.

 

[Faith1960]

Good Job Faith!!!

BTW have you noticed how many people have discounted your discomfort with undisciplined children and basically said that it’s YOUR problem?

I am so glad we have parents who put in an effort at my parish.

Oh, yeah, I noticed. I’m not surprised either. I never expected the general consensus here to be any different than the general consensus one finds most places these days. It’s a sign of the times.

During the homily last weekend, our priest was discussing the the differences in the way parents react to kids behavior now VS when he was a child and that when a kid used to act up at school or wherever, the kid just KNEW that he would get in trouble not only where he was at the time of misbehaving, but he’d get it double when he got home because the other adult would certainly call the parents. He said that kids used to just wait and pray that their teacher or the other parent would forget to call.
He told us about how these days, the kids run home and tell their parents what happened first and the parents often immediately jump to their child’s defense and sometimes try sueing the school district or whoever they believe wronged their child. This homily, BTW, had nothing to do with the swordfight and choking incident that I know of, it was just a coincidental surprise.

 

[chicago]

I was always taught that we should give 1 hour’s wages per week to the collection. So, the higher your income, the more you give. Then there are the additional collections, where we put in much higher amounts, for specific requests. I know the titles of these collections differ in the US, from what we call them in Canada.

A friend of mine once posed the question, “How much do people pay to go to a movie? Perhaps they should offer the same amount to the Church.” To which one priest replied, “If everyone thought like you, the Church would be in good financial shape.”

 

[paramedicgirl]

Oh, yeah, I noticed. I’m not surprised either. I never expected the general consensus here to be any different than the general consensus one finds most places these days. It’s a sign of the times.

During the homily last weekend, our priest was discussing the the differences in the way parents react to kids behavior now VS when he was a child and that when a kid used to act up at school or wherever, the kid just KNEW that he would get in trouble not only where he was at the time of misbehaving, but he’d get it double when he got home because the other adult would certainly call the parents. He said that kids used to just wait and pray that their teacher or the other parent would forget to call.
He told us about how these days, the kids run home and tell their parents what happened first and the parents often immediately jump to their child’s defense and sometimes try sueing the school district or whoever they believe wronged their child. This homily, BTW, had nothing to do with the swordfight and choking incident that I know of, it was just a coincidental surprise.

I also find there is a lack of discipline these days. I think it’s pretty widespread. And in my experience, most parents think their child can do no wrong. When parents automatically side with their child, instead of investigating the incident, it encourages their child to be a bully.

 

[Faith1960]

A friend of mine once posed the question, “How much do people pay to go to a movie? Perhaps they should offer the same amount to the Church.” To which one priest replied, “If everyone thought like you, the Church would be in good financial shape.”

It sure would but most people can’t even afford to go to a movie every single week, either.

 

[Faith1960]

I also find there is a lack of discipline these days. I think it’s pretty widespread. And in my experience, most parents think their child can do no wrong. When parents automatically side with their child, instead of investigating the incident, it encourages their child to be a bully.

I agree and what I’ve found is that even when parents do try to get the whole story, they still often conclude that Junior was being mistreated or misunderstood, laying most, if not all the blame on the other person. It’s this whole “kids’ll be kids” attitude among the parents that really causes problems.
I once had a neighbor like that. Our daughters were about the same age and used to play together until this other kid caused so many problems we had to ban her daughter from coming over and not allow our daughter to go over to their house. The mother used to, a) insist her daughter wasn’t doing anything wrong, and, b) acknowledged her daughter was doing wrong but excused the behavior by saying her oft repeated line, “kids’ll be kids.” UGH. Everybody was picking on her daughter for no reason, incluidng the teachers. Last I heard, her precious Pumpkin was very wild, is thought to have dropped out of high school and nobody’s heard about her since.

 

[chicago]

It sure would but most people can’t even afford to go to a movie every single week, either.

Admittedly, some people are in a bad way financially; struggling to get by. And, for them, the true “widows’ mite” may be a dollar.

But, I must say, that among many there is likely 8-10 bucks going out of their pocket somehow; if not for a movie maybe coffee or what have you. So if you can afford that…

 

[Faith1960]

Admittedly, some people are in a bad way financially; struggling to get by. And, for them, the true “widows’ mite” may be a dollar.

But, I must say, that among many there is likely 8-10 bucks going out of their pocket somehow; if not for a movie maybe coffee or what have you. So if you can afford that…

I agree. .

 

[thechrismyster]

wow, this thread has degenerated into an old boys network back-patting session. excellent.

ATTENTION WORLD: there are still those of us who haven’t turned into negative frowners. IF YOUR CHILD is in the aisle during mass and makes some noise. it doesn’t bother me in the least. If your child who is 5 acts like he is 5. it doesn’t bother me in the least. I don’t view the children as competition or annoyances. i simply view them as children.

let me tell you all a story… while the quips about how society has gone to gehenna in a handbasket are quaint, the way i see it is like this, when an adult shows me that they can’t stand to be around an unruly child without almost going into a fit of rage, that just tells me that adult is part of the “ITS ALL ABOUT ME AND MY COMFORT” generation. You know the ones… invade on their sense of whats right or wrong, and twisted though it might be, they launch into a complete headfirst tizzy.
Dare not that your child makes a sound, moves, eats a cheerio… WATCH OUT! you are a bad parent. um. no. thats not the case. THEY have no inner voice that lets them know they, as prim and proper as they may perceive themselves to be, aren’t the center of the universe and the actions of others do not revolve around their comfort or special interest.

Don’t worry, parents. next time your in Church and your son or daughter simply acts their age. i’ll give you a wink and a nod.

 

[PseudoHermit_22]

It sure would but most people can’t even afford to go to a movie every single week, either.

Please re-read my original post – I am not talking about these people – I was referring to the rich man, not Lazarus.

 

[pnewton]

I never meant to imply earlier that parents should not take responsibility for training their children. Quite the opposite. Parents must make it a priority to train children to respect the house of God, and the presence of Jesus there. One element of that respect is to learn to focus on Christ and less on each other.

You know, I just don’t get the attitude of some parents I see at Mass. Like I’ve said, I’m a parent and this kind of behavior was just such a non-issue for us. I’m not saying that our daughter was perfect but she was taught from a very early age what is and isn’t appropriate public behavior and I honestly do not recall a time when she did the things we’re talking about here…

While you are right, training is a process, not something instantaneous. Also, even properly raised children go through periods of obstinance that require re-training. The reason I encourage patience with children, is because we do not know the circumstances. Perhaps the parents are converts or returning to the faith after a long absence. Perhaps the child has psychological problems yet still needs spriritual nurturing. God does not reject the most sinful of us, but takes us where we are. To sit in judgement over others, especially in the house of God, reminds me too much of the parable of the unjust steward.

I do believe that parents should take responsibility to train their children. Adults to take responsibility to work around these, and other, distractions.

 

[Faith1960]

wow, this thread has degenerated into an old boys network back-patting session. excellent.

ATTENTION WORLD: there are still those of us who haven’t turned into negative frowners. IF YOUR CHILD is in the aisle during mass and makes some noise. it doesn’t bother me in the least. If your child who is 5 acts like he is 5. it doesn’t bother me in the least. I don’t view the children as competition or annoyances. i simply view them as children.

let me tell you all a story… while the quips about how society has gone to gehenna in a handbasket are quaint, the way i see it is like this, when an adult shows me that they can’t stand to be around an unruly child without almost going into a fit of rage, that just tells me that adult is part of the “ITS ALL ABOUT ME AND MY COMFORT” generation. You know the ones… invade on their sense of whats right or wrong, and twisted though it might be, they launch into a complete headfirst tizzy.
Dare not that your child makes a sound, moves, eats a cheerio… WATCH OUT! you are a bad parent. um. no. thats not the case. THEY have no inner voice that lets them know they, as prim and proper as they may perceive themselves to be, aren’t the center of the universe and the actions of others do not revolve around their comfort or special interest.

Don’t worry, parents. next time your in Church and your son or daughter simply acts their age. i’ll give you a wink and a nod.

If the general public shares your opinion that what you’re reading here is a description of near fits of rage or a tizzy, I can see why some kids do get so out of control.

 

[Faith1960]

Please re-read my original post – I am not talking about these people – I was referring to the rich man, not Lazarus.

I was talking about people in general, in a thread where there seem to be judgements made about the amount of money people put into the collection basket by people who are offended by judgemental people.

 

[thechrismyster]

If the general public shares your opinion that what you’re reading here is a description of near fits of rage or a tizzy, I can see why some kids do get so out of control.

The intelligent general public shares my opinions.

 

[Faith1960]

The intelligent general public shares my opinions.

Well now that’s something for readers to chew on.

 

[paramedicgirl]

Well now that’s something for readers to chew on.

(again!)

 

[RCCDefender]

wow, this thread has degenerated into an old boys network back-patting session. excellent.

ATTENTION WORLD: there are still those of us who haven’t turned into negative frowners. IF YOUR CHILD is in the aisle during mass and makes some noise. it doesn’t bother me in the least. If your child who is 5 acts like he is 5. it doesn’t bother me in the least. I don’t view the children as competition or annoyances. i simply view them as children.

let me tell you all a story… while the quips about how society has gone to gehenna in a handbasket are quaint, the way i see it is like this, when an adult shows me that they can’t stand to be around an unruly child without almost going into a fit of rage, that just tells me that adult is part of the “ITS ALL ABOUT ME AND MY COMFORT” generation. You know the ones… invade on their sense of whats right or wrong, and twisted though it might be, they launch into a complete headfirst tizzy.
Dare not that your child makes a sound, moves, eats a cheerio… WATCH OUT! you are a bad parent. um. no. thats not the case. THEY have no inner voice that lets them know they, as prim and proper as they may perceive themselves to be, aren’t the center of the universe and the actions of others do not revolve around their comfort or special interest.

Don’t worry, parents. next time your in Church and your son or daughter simply acts their age. i’ll give you a wink and a nod.

I will say a hearty [SIGN]BRAVO![/SIGN] and to that!