It is very frustrating as I think the “norm” Catholic for who services are geared is a female who wants an experience. I would prefer to have good preaching, based on the day’s readings, which in turn relates to an important message. Instead I endure weak, pathetic preaching and soppy, effeminate hymns.
(One of the great things I found through Catholic Answers was the orthodox, well-thought out Catholic and ‘lay’ evangelism that I had never been exposed to as a Catholic growing up in the 1980s and 1990s. I did not have to leave my intellect and curiosity at the church door. Sadly I still find Mass itself often badly done and the music horrible.)
I agree that for someone who also grew up in the 80s and 90s, the liturgy was pretty bad and instructions in catechism were pretty much obsolete, as well as CCD classes (at least according to everyone I knew who had CCD) was more about moral relativism and less about Catholicism. I also agree that there was a lot of watering down and dumbing down, which felt like a huge insult, along with mediocre to horrible music compositions or just poor musicianship. That said, I have never equated it either being feminine or masculine and I think it is a bit of an insult to many women when it is mentioned that the liturgies today are geared towards “a female who wants an experience”. Soppiness and patheticism are not feminine. In my opinion, none of this is not a gender thing. I think the better thing to say is that the norm is that they are geared towards
people who want an experience, as I’ve seen this attitude in both men and women in the various parishes where I work…
I also don’t buy into this idea of effeminate music and the idea that only women like that kind of music. Again, in my experience, especially since I do get to work with individual people from congregations when choosing music for funerals or just get feedback from people after mass, men can be just as into this newer, “effeminate” music as women.
And the idea that men only want silent liturgies (not saying that is you… I’ve heard this argument in the past ) because they can’t relate to music in the liturgy is an insult to men as well. (And believe me, I can relate to sometimes just wanting and needing a silent mass without the music as many times it is pretty bad or just mediocre.) But men can be equally touched as a woman by what they consider a beautiful voice and what they consider beautiful vocal or instrumental repertoire. It’s sometimes the men coming up, sometimes with tears in their eyes and once in a while hugging you, thanking you for the beautiful prayer in the music and literally saying that it was like an angel singing from the choir loft or that when they die they hope they hear that voice from the angels. And there is nothing weak or wrong about them being that way. It’s not girly or feminine. To me, it’s part of being human.
So, I think we should be careful about trying to throw in the gender card here. It’s not right to either men or women. And I hope I’m not sounding angry or harsh. It’s not my intent to come across that way, as I do agree with much of your criticism, especially for our generation growing up.