Masturbation and Addiction

[John_Monaco]

this is a great testimony…

although it sounds kinda odd… all those girls coming on to you… Are young girls really that much into “sex” these days?? I mean, you make it seem like that’s what they are looking for…But when i was young, well… I didn’t know anything about sex… didnt’ want to… and even if did, would NOT have been trying to get it… Weird…

I guess this is what happens when Planned Parenthood is in the schools…

it just seems that this behavior you speak of goes totally contrary to a female’s nature… to be aggressive about sex…

(or would only a cradle Catholic say this??)

I see this kind of rot on TV also… (or DID… whne i watched 2 minutes of TV about a yr ago…) Since then (and for yrs before then), i got wise & ditched the *&^% thing for good…

I’m not exagerrating. This is how high school is in the year 2009. These girls who are aggressive about sex aren’t just the “sluts” or “whores”, because if that was the case the entire school would be infested with “sluts”. They find sex pleasurable like any other human being, however they don’t have self control. I’m not lying when I say that-

-6 out of 25 students in my HONORS English class are virgins

It’s indescriable. When I’m trying to live a pure lifestyle and go into my vocation, I have to go through these years in high school with the majority drinking, smoking pot, and having pre-marital sex. This isn’t new, however it is more common. Therefore, it’s harder than ever to maintain a chaste lifestyle at the age of 16, because if you do, you are the minority.

I’m not lying, as I said before. I have no reason to. What’s going on in the minds of my peers is all about immediate gratification. They want pleasure, and want it now. Not many people in high school are deep, and philosophical about things such as sex. It’s sad, but all I can do is assert my chaste, pious, and servant-esque lifestyle in the midst of the pop culture.

 

[distracted]

I’m not exagerrating. This is how high school is in the year 2009. These girls who are aggressive about sex aren’t just the “sluts” or “whores”, because if that was the case the entire school would be infested with “sluts”.

well, maybe the whole school is… but guys who do pre-marital sex are sluts also… I never could understand why the 4-letter word(s) for women and none for men (??) when, frankly, from what i’ve observed in life… men are more deserving of those words than women…

It’s indescriable. When I’m trying to live a pure lifestyle and go into my vocation, I have to go through these years in high school with the majority drinking, smoking pot, and having pre-marital sex. … Therefore, it’s harder than ever to maintain a chaste lifestyle at the age of 16, because if you do, you are the minority.

you realize this sounds kinda sanctimonious, don’t you… ? Just being honest… but you probably don’t mean to sound self-righteous…

In any case… I totally hear you about how hard it is to stay pure in an impure society… Actually, it would even be hard if EVERYONE else was more/less chaste… 'cause the body just has a *&^%$ mind of its own regardles… .

.

I’m not lying, as I said before. I have no reason to. What’s going on in the minds of my peers is all about immediate gratification. They want pleasure, and want it now. Not many people in high school are deep, and philosophical about things such as sex.

i’ve got news for you… Not too many OUTSIDE school have a philosphical attitude toward sex either… and that IS very sad… It’s like nowadays sex and love has been totally divorced from each other & that is NOT the way God wants it to be…

I think the problem is that not many really believe in God anymore… Even if they say they believe in Him, they don’t think that he puts too many restrictions on their behavior… People are good at rationalizing things they want to do…

It’s sad, but all I can do is assert my chaste, pious, and servant-esque lifestyle in the midst of the pop culture.

i hope you continue to do so… You are probably familiar with Jesus’ words about how hard it is to find tht narrow road to salvation… and how there are “few who find it”…?

(those words always explain a lot to me… about the condition of the world and all that…)

 

[distracted]

. A 15 year-old boy, being confused over his masturbatio habits, can’t be fully responsible for his actions. It’s basic psychology that, during puberty, masturbation occurs. It is what is done about it toward the end years of puberty, when realizing the graveness of it and going to Confession, that it becomes a mortal sin. When masturbating as a adolescent, it is a moral imperfection, rather than a grave sin.

o

i realize guys are physically different from girls… Duh… but… I do have to admit to something… to getting a little tired of there always being a distinction made … between male “desires” and women’s…

Women want sex as much (or more than) men…

I’ve been celibate (deprived ) for many years and my body just wants it more and more every day…

Of course, i tell my body to go to h— it isn’t getting a &*^%$ thing…

That seems to work somehow…

 

[distracted]

Perhaps not demon. Probably more animal, less human.

less able to receive the Holy Spirit…

so you are right… more animal…

God help us all… we humans are so… pathetic… so needy…

we need Jesus far more than we realize… (or will admit)…

so why do we not seek him out more?

too busy watching TV???

too busy making $???

too busy…

 

[distracted]

.

I wish folks would stop sharing “I stopped–so anybody can.” It is very hurtful when someone with an immense struggle hears stuff like that. It is just goes to their self-worth and flushes it down the toilet, making it more tempting to relieve stress via the addiction since they see no way out.

What the heck are you talking about? This makes no sense…

***What causes hope to go out the window is always hearing, right and left… how some person or persons did NOT lick the problem ***…

 

[Florida_mom]

What the heck are you talking about? This makes no sense…

***What causes hope to go out the window is always hearing, right and left… how some person or persons did NOT lick the problem ***…

You needn’t be rude.

However you must admit that a statement that says “I do it, so anybody can” is very self righteous and holier than thou.

A person who struggles with failed attempts at quitting an addiction is not moved by a statement that suggest that “even I could do it so can you” as it simply makes them feel worse b/c they haven’t been able to repair their problem successfully thus far.

A statement that says “This works for me, have you tried it, maybe it will work for you” sounds much more welcoming and less self righteous and more supportive of assisting the person who is suffering to heal their addiction.

Perhaps this post makes more sense. If not, there is little to help you understand it further.

In other words–there are kinder, less righteous ways to share how one has healed themselves to be an inspiration that there is hope.

My husband would be put off by folks who speak as they do here.

 

[Dtmccameron]

Perhaps not demon. Probably more animal, less human.

Ah, but sir, when you strip away the Supernatural from the Natural you’re left with the Unnatural.

So, monsters, I like to say. Anyhow…

No, but one certainly is dragged farther and fatrther (or further and further?) away from the Divine with sin…And I think, eventually, through conscious will one might harden their hearts to such an extend as to, well, damn themselves.

It’s unlikely though, I think, that anyone who stuggles with this sin, and is truly contrite about his actions will ever actually reach such a point, save through Despair.

but guys who do pre-marital sex are sluts also… I never could understand why the 4-letter word(s) for women and none for men (??) when, frankly, from what i’ve observed in life… men are more deserving of those words than women…

P-I-G-S. It actually made me quite sad to hear one fellow describe himself as one, though rightly so. And dogs. Again, back the the animal thing.

 

[distracted]

You needn’t be rude.

how was i rude?? i just stated my mind… If that’s rude… well, there surely are a lot of rude people around here… :hypno:

However you must admit that a statement that says “I do it, so anybody can” is very self righteous and holier than thou.

no, can’t say i must admit to such a thing… Actually, it shows humility… to say that if YOU can do something… stupid, weak, sinful person that you are… then you are sure others not so handicapped can also…

A person who struggles with failed attempts at quitting an addiction is not moved by a statement that suggest that “even I could do it so can you” as it simply makes them feel worse b/c they haven’t been able to repair their problem successfully thus far.

Oh… ok, I’m sorry i didn’t realize you were one of those rare persons who knows everyone in the world… and can therefore speak for them…

A statement that says “This works for me, have you tried it, maybe it will work for you” sounds much more welcoming and less self righteous and more supportive of assisting the person who is suffering to heal their addiction.

to you… but uh… i kinda get the feeling… not everyone is you (???)

Perhaps this post makes more sense. If not, there is little to help you understand it further.

In other words–there are kinder, less righteous ways to share how one has healed themselves to be an inspiration that there is hope.

My husband would be put off by folks who speak as they do here.

oh well… can’t win 'em all…

You are you and i am I…

 

[distracted]

Ah, but sir, when you strip away the Supernatural from the Natural you’re left with the Unnatural.

So, monsters, I like to say. Anyhow…

No, but one certainly is dragged farther and fatrther (or further and further?) away from the Divine with sin…And I think, eventually, through conscious will one might harden their hearts to such an extend as to, well, damn themselves.

so true… and i wish others would see the truth of this… others who think that since they “can’t” overcome this sin, they were 'meant" to do it or what have you… The road to Hell, it would seem, is also paved with Lack of good intentions…

It’s unlikely though, I think, that anyone who stuggles with this sin, and is truly contrite about his actions will ever actually reach such a point, save through Despair.

"]*i hadthis experience once… was thinking of how far i’d fallen just by THINKING of something arousing… and well, was feeling rather impure … because, well i was thinking about such things because of a stupid dream i had (which, obviously, i have no control over… i can’t control my dreams… wasn’t even thinking of sexual stuff before falling asleep the night b4)… Anyway… i was at Adoration & feeling very impure and evne unforgiven… (yeah, i know, the devil can make you feel these things too???) but anyway… when one is in the Holiest Place on EArth… (Exposed Sacrament) one feels this kind of thing… so anyway… I usually don’t say much to God while There, but this time, i found myself saying, "God… I didn’t act on those feelings … and i can’t help the dream i had and (can’t recall what else i said but you get my drift)…so i can’t understand why i feel your wrath, a wrath i felt sure would never end… Suddenly this feeling of being the object of God’s holy wrath (and not exaggerating here)… disappeared… immediately!! surpised the crud out of me…

I wondered if God allowed this experience because He just wanted me to realize how totally, utterly POWERLESS i was (am) over sin*…

Maybe He “forced” that prayer out of me… ??? wanted me to come to that conclusion before he removed the icky feelings i had…

I don’t know… Who can say one knows God? But it was very interesting…

[about men being more deserving of the word slut than women:]

P-I-G-S. It actually made me quite sad to hear one fellow describe himself as one, though rightly so. And dogs. Again, back the the animal thing.

Yes, i hav heard those words used for men who are promiscuous… but… just can’t figure out why men will virtually accept being called dogs/pigs/ but not that word they throw at women all the time… slut…

 

[WackBob]

However you must admit that a statement that says “I do it, so anybody can” is very self righteous and holier than thou.

On the contrary, this makes me feel like I can do it if someone else who has struggled the same way has also and makes me feel very hopeful. Don’t be so quick to judge other peeps minds.

And Distracted, I know what you mean about those dreams, there absolutley awful but you have no control over them. Whats weird is that I only get them when I’m not in mortal sin,(it’s like the Devil tempting me) and sometimes I fall the next day after the dream. these dreams are sometimes of the grossest manner and I used to think they were my own fault but now I know they aren’t.

 

[Dtmccameron]

I wondered if God allowed this experience because He just wanted me to realize how totally, utterly POWERLESS i was (am) over sin

… Maybe He “forced” that prayer out of me… ??? wanted me to come to that conclusion before he removed the icky feelings i had…

Ah, see, now there’s something! Surely 'tis important to remember that our salvation comes from God, and not by our own works, and that only He can save us.

Sometimes I wonder if Pride might be keeping me in sin, making me say, “No, no. I’ve got this. I can handle this temptation. I can resist. I don’t need your help. Let me do this on my own.”

And so like a wise parent, God backs off. And I fall. Surrender to anything, even God, was not one of the virtues I was raised to appreciate. It was the unforgivable sin.

So I wonder if it’s a feeling of powerlessness that might drive some to this sin? Which serves as a dangerous omen, Rape is driven by a desire to dominate, to feel powerful.

Either way, I think my resistance is out of a drive to earn…something. * “If I can just stay pure on my own for seven days, five days, two days, one day! I can be worthy!”
*

Which is of course a delightful little lie. The only thing I’m worthy of is Hell.​

(Dadgummit, this thread’s looking like some sort of therapy group)

Hi, my name is dtmccameron…

(In chorus) “Hello dtmccameron”

And I too struggle with those damnable dreams…

scattered applause

See, cause, like you, WackBob, they hit me Saturday night. Mere hours after recieving absolution. And, dang! Those are some filthy images! I don’t really care if it’s out of my control, I can end up feeling more filthy *(Like I need to shower with lavasoap and a SOS pad)/I after those things than when I consciously go out and sin!

But it’s fairly obvious why, isn’t it?

You just got out! He won’t even give you a decent night’s rest without trying to get you back!*

 

[distracted]

On the contrary, this makes me feel like I can do it if someone else who has struggled the same way has also and makes me feel very hopeful. Don’t be so quick to judge other peeps minds.

thanks for defending me…

And Distracted, I know what you mean about those dreams, there absolutley awful but you have no control over them. Whats weird is that I only get them when I’m not in mortal sin,(it’s like the Devil tempting me)

this really hit home!! I was thinking the same thing… The devil knows our weaknesses SO well… so much better than we do… I’ve said this before on CAF but it seems that the longer a person (me) goes w/o caving in to self-gratification… the more weak we get in some ways… or do i only speak of myself?? I get stronger in some ways but feel weaker in other ways… it seems our bodies are just meant for sex… (??) and yet, if i can go as long as i have, i can go on forever (& know i will because that sin is serious)…

Anyway, it seems that the body just has a *&^% mind of its own and we poor humans are just stuck with having to deal with it all the time… I think one reason Jesus has so much love & compassion for us is that he knows how helpless/powerless/hopeless we are (without Him… Heck, even WITH HIm…!!)…

In other words, i feel that He pities us…

/sometimes I fall the next day after the dream. these dreams are sometimes of the grossest manner and I used to think they were my own fault but now I know they aren’t.

i think God also wanted me to realize the seriousness of sexual impurity… that even this kind of thing, where it isn’t our fault… can spiritually disfigure us (as it were)…

seems to confirm what the saints say about how more people go to sin over sexual impurity than any other sin…

are you Catholic?

 

[distracted]

Ah, see, now there’s something! Surely 'tis important to remember that our salvation comes from God, and not by our own works, and that only He can save us.

i always try to “remember” this… although part of me (namely the part called my body… my ever-lustful [because Deprived!!] body ) does NOT want to remember, wants me to forget about God because God interferes w/ its agenda… ])

Sometimes I wonder if Pride might be keeping me in sin, making me say, “No, no. I’ve got this. I can handle this temptation. I can resist. I don’t need your help. Let me do this on my own.”

hate to sound like I’ve 'arrived"… but i have been there… I know from experience though… how very weak i am… so i don’t feel the devil can get me with this kind of thing again. It was a long and painful lesson, though… learning not to depend on my own efforts… Now i actually FEAR my own efforts… because, as you know, they aren’t too good… too effective… But fear is a much - maligned thing… Fear is a good thing sometimes… such as in this case…

and, as you know… Fear of God is the beginning of all wisdom…

And so like a wise parent, God backs off. And I fall. Surrender to anything, even God, was not one of the virtues I was raised to appreciate. It was the unforgivable sin.

not sure i understand this… did your parents send you this message (consciously or otherwise??

Either way, I think my resistance is out of a drive to earn…something. * “If I can just stay pure on my own for seven days, five days, two days, one day! I can be worthy!”
*

i stay away from this sin because i don’t want anything to take away my closeness to a perfectly holy God… True, i have other sins that do that… but they are more easily dealt with than this sin…

Which is of course a delightful little lie. The only thing I’m worthy of is Hell.

well, yes & no… it is not your fault you are human… God made you good… and even when you sin, He loves you, loves your goodness… and through guilt, draws you back to Him…

---

(Dadgummit, this thread’s looking like some sort of therapy group)

Hi, my name is dtmccameron…

(In chorus) “Hello dtmccameron”

And I too struggle with those damnable dreams…

scattered applause

there is a sexaholics Anonymous… but i’d be too embarrassed to attend… (too prideful??) If it was a Christian meeting, i would definitely go… (You know, it isn’t hard to start one of those meetings…)

 

[John_Monaco]

Your priest is correct to a certain extent.

I
I wish folks would stop sharing “I stopped–so anybody can.” It is very hurtful when someone with an immense struggle hears stuff like that. It is just goes to their self-worth and flushes it down the toilet, making it more tempting to relieve stress via the addiction since they see no way out.

I cannot speak to teenagers about it–I’m not aware of the sexuality of a teenager bursting with hormones.

But my husband is many years past his teens and as an adult dealing with the fallout from that, if you have an opportunity to be treated for it, seek it out. But it can be tough when you are a minor and do not have your own insurance nor can you source a therapist usually.

My husband has struggled ever since his early teens. A couple year addiction is much easier to beat than a multi-decade addiction.

I sympathize with your husband, and pray that he overcomes the addiction. However, a “couple year addiciton”, while having that addicition in one of the most sensitive parts of your life maturity wise, is no way easier to beat than a multi-decade addiciton.

Do you know how I beat the addiction as a 16 year old? I studied canon code, the Bible (especially Leviticus), met with multiple spiritual counselors, and prayed for a long period of time. However, the way I overcame it, was by fulling trusting God. People say that quitting is impossible when you biologically will it release it through either sleep or masturbation. That’s similar to saying "Why trust God, if it’s biological? It’s impossible to overcome an addiction!

If that were the case, Jesus would have never rose Lazarus, or let the blind see. It’s called divine intervention, and by trusting God that he can help you carry the cross and overcome masturbation, your husband can overcome it. He’s well past the age of consent, it’s a matter of motivation.

*I wish folks would stop sharing “I stopped–so anybody can.” It is very hurtful when someone with an immense struggle hears stuff like that. It is just goes to their self-worth and flushes it down the toilet, making it more tempting to relieve stress via the addiction since they see no way out.
*

By hearing that someone stopped, so anybody can, shouldn’t attack your husband’s self-esteem. Instead, he should look at those who overcame masturbation with respect, and be motivated. We’re all human beings, we all have faults, flaws, and a limited understanding of the universe. That being said, if one human being can physically stop and improve his spiritual life, anyone can. We all have the same equal chance for redemption; God doesn’t help any sinner overcome their sin any more than the next, he assists us all equally, so your husband shouldn’t feel tempted to masturbate any more.

As said before, I will pray for your husband. Make sure he doesn’t grow discouraged with the habit of masturbation. He has no reason to fall into despair. It’s an addiction, but if he doesn’t give God all his heart, mind, and soul, he won’t overcome it. With anyone struggling with masturbation, it’s a matter of determination. Just because he has been struggling with it since a teenager, doesn’t mean it is any harder to stop. If anything, being a teenager experiencing puberty, and seeing many of his peers fall to the manifestation of lust and pre-marital sex, is the hardest age group to stop a habit that is “socially acceptable” throughout society.

God Bless,

John Monaco