Masturbation and Addiction

[Shin]

I always love to hear Tobit quoted. Thank you.

The soul is not always a pretty sight…

For people who struggle with issues of chastity, besides what I have said so far about hating and utterly rejecting the sin and the occasion thereof, and the sensual. .

I recommend listening to the audio sermon entitled ‘Hell’ on the ‘Sensus Traditionis’ link below, reading this excerpt of St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori’s writings entitled, [‘Death, Judgement, & Hell’](http://www.saintsbooks.net/St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori - Death, Judgement, and Hell.pdf), and then perhaps listening to the ‘Recidivism’ talk additionally.

These are good starting points for people who are having issues making the life choice decisions and interior decisions to change and repent in deed.

Prayers. . . let us pray more worthily. . . Ave Maria. . .

 

[TLM08]

actually, some of the clothing and postures taken by women today in the media…

they ARE disgusting…

sexual perversion is put forth as the norm these days… and THAT is definitely disgusting…

seems no one is attracted to an “average” woman anymore, one who has morals… They want those young, voluptuous, loose women they see on TV all the time…

Turn that &^%$ thing off…

Now we are in agreement! What I see portrayed in the modern media these days are not images of beautiful women. With the pervasiveness of cosmetic surgery, the same slutty poses and vapid facial expressions, they look more like blow up dolls real flesh and blood women who are capable of becoming dedicated wives and mothers. There is nothing attractive about them.

Oddly, there was something very attractive about those back to nature “hippy chicks” of 40 years ago. There was something very natural about that look.

 

[AKIDA]

A lot of good contributions and advise.

I am in that problem too. I do feel that if I confess then it will not last long I will back to it. I dont confess now but every day I feel rearly bad bse of it. I feel ashemed and I have never shared it with anyone. I really want to get over with it as Ifeel it keeps me away from God.

In our culture even to share with a male friend for advice its a shame!

 

[distracted]

A lot of good contributions and advise.

I am in that problem too. I do feel that if I confess then it will not last long I will back to it. I dont confess now but every day I feel rearly bad bse of it. I feel ashemed and I have never shared it with anyone. I really want to get over with it as Ifeel it keeps me away from God.

In our culture even to share with a male friend for advice its a shame!

i’ll pray for you… I know what it’s like to be tempted toward this sin, as probably everyone does… even married people… (even though i do NOT commit this sin… i avoid it like i try to avoid Satan himself…[the two are closely related).

i have been celibate for a vey long time and it sometimes seems that instead of it geting easier… to not think about “it”… it gets harder… It doesn’t help that… well… I’ve been alone so long, i just dont’ want to live like that any longer (although i know i can becaus… well, the thought of living with any man I’ve ever been “in love with” scares the crud out of me… and i dont’ feel i could possibly live with any one of them… for more than a day…)…

It seems i am d---- if i do and d— if i don’t, but oh well… some day things will be different…in Heaven… As the saying goes, “IN 100 yrs, i won’t know the difference”

 

[george4072]

i agree masterbation is a sin… but i think all tenns should be exempt, (padron my french)cuz there is no why in hell i can go two days without it. eepecailly people like me with like an infinitive amount of hormones(Seriously i have the deepest voice of anyone i know and have acne EVERYWHERE arms, back,face,chest.

 

[distracted]

i agree masterbation is a sin… but i think all tenns should be exempt, (padron my french)cuz there is no why in hell i can go two days without it. eepecailly people like me with like an infinitive amount of hormones(Seriously i have the deepest voice of anyone i know and have acne EVERYWHERE arms, back,face,chest.

well…OK, if you want to make yourself an “exception” to going to Heaven as well??

Just because God understands the why’s & whre-4’s of our sins doesn’t mean it is not any longer sin… doesn’t mean He is just going to let us off the hook… let us into Heaven (where dyed in the wool sinners do not want to be anyway… might add),

Sin (not God) is what does NOT let us off the hook… God never changed the nature of sin (with the coming of Christ)…Instead, He gave us a way of … as it were, un-frying the egg… the damage that sin does to our soul… (OK so i am not being all that poetic …)… but you get my drift…

This sin of self-gratifying whether “understandable” or not… distances us from Jesus Christ, from intimacy with Him…

and it is JEsus - and only Jesus who gets us to Heaven… As Isaiah says, “The will of God will be accomplished thorugh HIM”… [emphasis added]

I would suggest spending time with Him at the Real Presence… there you will know … things…

praying for you… God bless…

 

[distracted]

oh darn…

i was hoping to get an argument…



(not that i LIKE to argue… just figured… that’s what i usually get here on CAF… )

 

[distracted]

:banghead::coffeeread:uch::knight2::heaven:

 

[distracted]

message 163 is a mistake… thought i deleted it!! :hypno:

 

[WackBob]

please help, I need some tips to break away. I was thinking like pray the rosary every day, lots of prayer, go to Mass alot, Adoration, etc. But I have trouble actaully making a habit of praying and then I fall. Its holding me down, ruining my life, I cant move forward. sorry for resurection this thread but I need a little encouragment.

 

[John_Monaco]

please help, I need some tips to break away. I was thinking like pray the rosary every day, lots of prayer, go to Mass alot, Adoration, etc. But I have trouble actaully making a habit of praying and then I fall. Its holding me down, ruining my life, I cant move forward. sorry for resurection this thread but I need a little encouragment.

Wackybob, I have been in your exact position before. You want to give it up, yet you keep falling back into it. Well, here are steps to stop, like I have.

1. Truly want it- You can say “I love God more than anything, I want to stop.” If you truly want to break away, you must look at masturbation as disgusting. Look at it to the same value as looking at dead bodies: with pure disgust. Everytime you have the urge to put your hands in your pants (so-to-speak haha), think about how much you are hurting God, by sinning. He forgives sins, and promises eternal life. He couldn’t have done so without dying on a cross. Think about that.
2. Don’t think about it so much- My priest/spiritual counselor told me that part of the reason I keep falling back into the sin is that even if I’m trying desperately not to masturbate, I’m still obsessing over it. Try to find a hobby, and stick with it, or call a friend. Things I have personally done to not think of masturbation is to read Scripture. I suggest the Idiot’s Guide to the Bible, it’s extremely accurate, yet pokes fun at certain stories.
3. Pray to the Eucharist- By giving us His body and blood, Christ left us a permanent gift in the true presence it offers. Ever have those days where you quit masturbating for about 2 weeks, and then do it again? Instead of hanging your head in shame, or thinking what you could have done to prevent it, say a short prayer concerning the Eucharist. It’s here for a reason, Bob. It gives us hope, and has a true presence of Christ in it.
4. Abstain from a sexual lifestyle- No, this doesn’t just mean “don’t have sex”. I’m 16, and I go to a public high school. Even if I went to a private, things wouldn’t be different. Girls will dress with revealing skirts, tight jeans, lowcut-tops, and be flirty. The key to overcoming their empty promises is not merely just “looking away”, but look at them with a certain sense of leadership. By foreplay, talking with sexual innuendos, you just fuel their fire. Coming from a teen who wants to ultimately become a priest, I don’t “invite” them like I used to. I give them brusque responses, decline their “hook-up” invites, and remind them of my morals. Remember, when God judges you, He won’t keep in mind that the girls “just wanted to have fun”. He knows if you’re a legitimate, true supporter of Him and His message.
5. Lastly, just TALK ABOUT IT. Part of the way I overcame my addiction to masturbation was by preaching that it was wrong to my friends, or discussing how damaging it is to your personal being and psyche. God gave us fellow men and women for a reason, as a support system. By asking for help on a Catholic Answers Forum, you will not only just find an answer, but a answer that will assist you in your Catholic lifestyle, supported by a forum of people.

I will keep you in my prayers, Bob. Life without masturbating is euphoric. I literally see everything with optimism, and a certain degree of wisdom. Remember, when we were Confirmed, we received the Holy Spirit, one of his gifts being Wisdom.

God Bless,

John Monaco

 

[Dtmccameron]

I just wanted to share with you all a fairly interesting discovery I’ve recently made.

You see, I’ve lost my glasses, and I’m horribly shortsighted. I can’t even make out the characters on the screen.

But I’ve found, it is quite easy to practice custody of the eyes, when you don’t have them!

 

[WackBob]

Thanks John for the info, I definately look at masterbation as incredibly gross and I just think of how could I ever have put myself on the same level as it.

I do think about it alot; how its ruining my life and such is a constant topic of my thoughts.

And yes, i know the feeling of abstaning for 1-2 weeks and then falling. I’ll try to go to Adoration more consistently.

I’m 16 too and I know what you mean about this “sexually devient lifestyle” but luckily I haven’t had a real problem with it since I homeschool but also take classes at a community college. For me though, its not like there are trashy girls always trying to flirt with me and I consider dating at a real young age disgusting anyways.

I would find it extremely hard to talk about this to my friends since they’re mostly Catholic or Protestant and don’t engage in this type of thing. I’m not sure what they’d think of me since they don’t know already but I have know problem discussing it on a forum.

It makes me happy that I have someone praying for me and I’ll pray for you that you fulfill your vocation of the Priesthood( we really need more good priests). I know that when I get out of this mess my life will be so much happier and actually be able to view things with hope! Thank you John you really pumped me up to fight on.

 

[TLM08]

I would find it extremely hard to talk about this to my friends since they’re mostly Catholic or Protestant and don’t engage in this type of thing.

What makes you so sure? If you are male, you either do this… or are struggling daily against it. Never assume that your friends are being honest with you about this. They might be struggling far more than you can imagine.

 

[distracted]

.

And God does undeniably love us. Always. But what if there is nothing left of us for Him to love? Only persons can love and be loved. Sin makes us less of a person, and therefore less able to recieve God’s Love.

Wow… that’s an interesting statement…

I guess you could say that sin makes us more demon than human? (or something??)

 

[bugz2007]

.

Wow… that’s an interesting statement…

I guess you could say that sin makes us more demon than human? (or something??)

Perhaps not demon. Probably more animal, less human.

 

[distracted]

1. Abstain from a sexual lifestyle- No, this doesn’t just mean “don’t have sex”. I’m 16, and I go to a public high school. Even if I went to a private, things wouldn’t be different. Girls will dress with revealing skirts, tight jeans, lowcut-tops, and be flirty. The key to overcoming their empty promises is not merely just “looking away”, but look at them with a certain sense of leadership. By foreplay, talking with sexual innuendos, you just fuel their fire. Coming from a teen who wants to ultimately become a priest, I don’t “invite” them like I used to. I give them brusque responses, decline their “hook-up” invites, and remind them of my morals. Remember, when God judges you, He won’t keep in mind that the girls “just wanted to have fun”. He knows if you’re a legitimate, true supporter of Him and His message.
2. Lastly, just TALK ABOUT IT. Part of the way I overcame my addiction to masturbation was by preaching that it was wrong to my friends, or discussing how damaging it is to your personal being and psyche. God gave us fellow men and women for a reason, as a support system. By asking for help on a Catholic Answers Forum, you will not only just find an answer, but a answer that will assist you in your Catholic lifestyle, supported by a forum of people.

I will keep you in my prayers, Bob. Life without masturbating is euphoric. I literally see everything with optimism, and a certain degree of wisdom. Remember, when we were Confirmed, we received the Holy Spirit, one of his gifts being Wisdom.

God Bless,

this is a great testimony…

although it sounds kinda odd… all those girls coming on to you… Are young girls really that much into “sex” these days?? I mean, you make it seem like that’s what they are looking for…But when i was young, well… I didn’t know anything about sex… didnt’ want to… and even if did, would NOT have been trying to get it… Weird…

I guess this is what happens when Planned Parenthood is in the schools…

it just seems that this behavior you speak of goes totally contrary to a female’s nature… to be aggressive about sex…

(or would only a cradle Catholic say this??)

I see this kind of rot on TV also… (or DID… whne i watched 2 minutes of TV about a yr ago…) Since then (and for yrs before then), i got wise & ditched the *&^% thing for good…

 

[distracted]

I would find it extremely hard to talk about this to my friends since they’re mostly Catholic or Protestant and don’t engage in this type of thing. I’m not sure what they’d think of me since they don’t know already but I have know problem discussing it on a forum.

.

i believe virtually everyone struggles with this… even married people…

God made us sexual creatures…

only problem is… sex is only for marriage…

so those of us who aren’t married have to re-channel that part of ourselves…

not easy… but not impossible… (with Jesus, nothing is impossible)

 

[distracted]

What makes you so sure? If you are male, you either do this… or are struggling daily against it. Never assume that your friends are being honest with you about this. They might be struggling far more than you can imagine.

i have to be honest, i got a little at the implication in this post…

Women have just a strong a sex drive as men do… and they struggle just as much as men do…

i oughta know… I’ve been celibate for years & years…

i hope you don’t have the view some do… that women liking sex is somehow un-ladylike or something…

God made men & women equal in this regard… (their level of desire for sex)…

God is no misogynist…

 

[Florida_mom]

Your priest is correct to a certain extent.

I struggled with anger issues and while in the process of being treated for them (they were sourced from another issue), it was not sinful–but as I recovered, it is now sinful b/c I am learning to gain control over my mood unlike what I had before.

Before the outburts were uncontrollable and horrible and done without any thought.

After many months of treatment, I was able to get a mental warning that I was going to go off. I began to be able to choose whether or not to get angry. At that point, I gained the ability to know right from wrong on the issue of anger and thus could sin or not sin.

With an addiction–one has the ability to choose to get treated for it or live with it and suffer for it.

Continuing on with an addiction without taking any measures to correct it–is sinful if you think about it.

You may not control the urges, but you control the ability to fix them.

My husband is now in treatment. Who knows when he will be healed. However–he knows it is wrong both spiritually and relationally so he is obligated morally to fix it.

An addiction is something in which you can stop even if you wanted to and it negatively impacts those around you. Continuing with an addiction b/c you perceive the priest was giving his blessing when he told you it wasn’t a sin since you can’t control it–is wrong.

And I will say–that my husband has tried many means to get rid of this problem to no avail. That is the true sign of an addiction.

I.e. let’s talk about food–there are those folks who know they shouldn’t eat twinkies and just eat them anyway and then there are folks who eat a whole truckload without blinking an eye, beat themselves up about it and swear to never do it again–until they spot the Krispy Kreme and just cannot stop themselves from buying a dozen and scarfing them down.

One person–is just too darn tempted by a tasty treat while the other in their binging can’t even taste what they are swallowing.

One is just falling to temptation, the other is a full blown addict.

I wish folks would stop sharing “I stopped–so anybody can.” It is very hurtful when someone with an immense struggle hears stuff like that. It is just goes to their self-worth and flushes it down the toilet, making it more tempting to relieve stress via the addiction since they see no way out.

I cannot speak to teenagers about it–I’m not aware of the sexuality of a teenager bursting with hormones.

But my husband is many years past his teens and as an adult dealing with the fallout from that, if you have an opportunity to be treated for it, seek it out. But it can be tough when you are a minor and do not have your own insurance nor can you source a therapist usually.

My husband has struggled ever since his early teens. A couple year addiction is much easier to beat than a multi-decade addiction.